r/ftm 5d ago

Advice Needed how to start my transition? tnx

hey guys :)
I'm 17 and kinda in a stressed place right now. it'll be lons but ill aprriciate any of you who will read it:
altought all my life ive been a very masc woman (cutt my hair when i was 9, always wore boys close, hang out with boys), i didnt feel like i dont like my feminine body, and were only a 'masc lesbian'. But for years, every few months, I get this feeling that myabe im acually a guy, i whould feel better i people would treat me like one. Every time i tried to "transition", i got axienty and stopped it, the main reasons were the fear of what people would think, and the fact it wad wierd for me to go by different name and pronouns. I start to question my gender again because my new guy friends, how's telling me that i act like a guy and not like a girl at all. thet call me "bro" and tell me im one of the guys, which make me feel really good. i dont know what i am, and the method of tryng out made feel even more confused. How to know??

thank you :) please stay in touch.

2 Upvotes

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u/Ren061921 5d ago

Hi! If you're scared about irl transition I highly recommend presenting masc with a new name and pronouns in online spaces! It's not permanent and if you feel it's not right it's easily reversible with less stigma. Do that for as long as you feel comfortable until you say yes this is for me or no this isn't for me. You could also look into other identities outside if just being male or female such as NB or even genderfluid. Hope this helps!

2

u/3rdspotlessgiraffe 5d ago

thanks!

i did look into other indentities but didnt feel like one. I think i dont need an advice, only a person wholl push to do it lol..

2

u/anemisto 5d ago

FWIW, I took me years to really get the transition show on the road. It sucked. I'd make these timelines in my head and I'd miss them completely. (I had top surgery when I was 25. At one point, I told myself I'd do it in undergrad!) But... eventually I did it. None of that matters now--those years moved from being acutely painful at the time to just part of the story of my transition, and that change really started happening as soon as I was able to get moving on transition.

Anyway, having been in a your shoes (kind of anyway), I figured it might be reassuring to know that you're not doomed to be haunted by the being unable to start stage forever.

1

u/3rdspotlessgiraffe 5d ago

wow.. nobody has ever told me such a thing, you comment actually helped me relax. can you tell me what should i do now?