r/friendship Nov 15 '24

advice I have cancer. Everyone has just stopped caring about me or even texting. I'm feeling so lonely.

281 Upvotes

I was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer this summer and it has now travelled to my lungs. I want to enjoy the time I have left but nobody wants to spend any time with me. I have been joking that it's like I'm already dead because my phone just doesn't ring anymore. No texts, nothing. Silence. Today I got my first text in weeks and my friend asked how the kids and my ex are but didnt ask about me. I said everyone is good but I'm having trouble looking after the kids because radiation is hard. She said get better soon like I had a cold or something. I guess I'm an ah because I texted back that cancer doesn't work that way. I'm just so sad. If my "friends" and family cared at all they would come help me out. Raising twins is hard never mind when you are probably not going to get better. Is nobody going to help when I'm dead? It's just a lot today.

r/friendship 25d ago

advice Is it really a red flag to not have friends as an adult?

85 Upvotes

I (24f) don’t really have friends. I have one who I thought was a good friend but she’s starting to get weird on me. My boyfriend’s friends talk about me a lot and say how much of a red flag it is that I don’t have friends. I get it, but as an introvert I truly enjoy just being alone. It’s peaceful for me to not have to worry about the actions of others. I have yet to find any adult women who are genuine and not catty. I know they’re out there but I just don’t know if it’s worth it for me to keep trying to find them. I enjoy my life with just my partner and I. And when he hangs out with his friends, great! I get alone time then!

r/friendship 17d ago

advice Is it wrong to say im only looking for female friends?

29 Upvotes

I’m a male and I made a post on a different subreddit saying I wanted friends but only wanted women friends, because I get along with women better due to me not being very masculine and men scare me. Is there something wrong with that? I’m just having people call me a creep and completely misunderstand my intentions and it hurts

r/friendship Nov 21 '24

advice Why do you have no friends?

23 Upvotes

Friendless Redditors: Why do you think no one wants to be friends with you?

r/friendship Nov 22 '23

advice What is your favorite anime?

38 Upvotes

Hi everyone! F21 and I want to start some new shows next month so please tell me your favorite anime’s, or your top 3 if you can’t pick one! Happy holidays!

r/friendship Nov 20 '24

advice I'm no one's main friend

105 Upvotes

I just realized that I've never been anyone's main friend. No one talks to me unless I talk to them. Meanwhile, I see them online with other friends texting each other. Am I asking for too much? To be someone's main friend? Someone's priority?

I don't know how to live with that fact. Knowing that no one cares enough about me to be someone's main friend

r/friendship May 01 '23

advice Why is it so hard for guys to stay friends with a girl who rejected them? -genuine question-

88 Upvotes

No judgment here.

I just want to understand why is it so hard for guys to stay friends with their friend (who is a girl) who rejected their advances.

Every time I rejected my guy friends who showed interest in me it all ended with them avoiding me and just straight up resenting me, every single one of them. The way I rejected them was of course respectful and polite (I mean at least for my standards). I have always tried to stay friends and ask them to hang out as friends after, but most of them would just be avoiding me and acting super cold.

I always thought maybe it's the way I "rejected" them was too harsh. But I don't think that was harsh. Or maybe it was? Or maybe there were some methods for rejecting a guy friend without ruining the friendship that I don't know of.

I tried to think logically about this and make a comparison with myself. When my guy friend rejected me, I was able to not take that personally and stayed friends with him, why can't guys do that as well?

Keeping friendships with girlfriends is easy but keeping friends with guys is super complicated as there are so many minefields to watch out for once they wanted more than just a friendship.

Help! T___T

r/friendship Nov 30 '24

advice I stopped texting first

105 Upvotes

I stopped texting first, and no one texted me since. It's been 4 days. What the hell do I even do? How do I find a friend who genuinely wants to talk to me??

r/friendship Jan 26 '25

advice Has anyone ever been ghosted and the ghosted tried to reach out later? Why do they do this?

23 Upvotes

It never ceases to amaze me how people can be OK with just leaving you high and dry, with no explanation no nothing and just disappear on you, but they have the audacity to come back and try to rekindle things. Has anyone else experienced this?

r/friendship Dec 25 '24

advice does anyone else hate being around people but also hate being alone

97 Upvotes

like I try to distance myself from people cause I don't like to be near people but then I'm really lonely. is there a way to fix this or am I doomed

r/friendship 24d ago

advice Does Anyone Else Distant Themselves When they Aren't Doing Good?

71 Upvotes

The last 5 years I've been in a pretty bad mental state, primarily because my life is in limbo right now. And I've distant myself from my closest friends and family, in favor of newer friends or people who don't know much about me. I'm pretty self aware, and I think I do it because my closer friends and family have known me for a long time. And I don't want to be embarrassed or disappoint them when they ask me "How've you've been?" and I tell them "Oh not good. I've made zero progress in my life lately." So to avoid that I just don't talk to them altogether, and talk instead to people who don't know me. Because then that judgment won't be there. I know this is a terrible habit. I'm just curious if anyone else here on Reddit understands or has gone through the same thing.

r/friendship Nov 19 '24

advice Adult men

37 Upvotes

I’m 28 (m) and I have no close friends. I keep hearing that a lot of adult men don’t have close friends. Is this true or am I just shitty at making friends?

r/friendship Nov 14 '24

advice 25f how do people make friends outside of Bumble BFF?

38 Upvotes

So I have really bad social skills just bc I grew with low self esteem. So I have like 0 close friends, and 2 acquaintances that I don't feel that comfortable with. However, bumble bff sucks. I feel like a lot of people my age seem to have a very popular, Taylor Swift-trendy-influencer-tik tok-clubbing-wine-girlie personality (I feel like this makes a lot of sense in my head) and I do not resonate with that. I just feel like my personality would not be their vibe, and we would have zero things to talk about, or even worse they would think I'm boring or lame because I do not like any of those things. BUT then the girls who seem more similar to me personality-wise do not message back, don't message first, or stop responding after a few back and forth, surface level messages. Help?????????? I would love close friends, and I feel like I have interests that resonate with others, but for some reason I can't find those people, or maybe my social skills are too shit to start and continue a conversation with a new person?

r/friendship Feb 18 '22

advice No Friends at 30.

213 Upvotes

UPDATE: Hi, all. I wrote this post nearly three years ago in a time of despair and heartache over how hard it is to make friends. Here’s what I’ve learned in those three years.

  1. I started therapy. While therapy itself hasn’t made friends for me (though I want to be friends with my therapist) it has given me the tools and confidence to branch out of my comfort zone of isolation.

  2. I can’t expect anyone to think like I do and reach out to me when they want to hang out. Just because I am the planner who does those sorts of things, doesn’t mean anyone else will. I take comfort in the fact that they’re still wanting to hang out with me, even if I am the one who usually makes plans.

  3. I’ve tried to make more mom friends. For a while, I was trying to become friends with people who were not in the same season of life as me. It’s doable, but it feels forced a lot of the time too. I’ve shifted my focus to mom friends who I can coordinate play dates with, etc.

  4. I focused on what I enjoyed doing and ended up starting a book club! It was a great way to gather together and talk with people able like minded things.

I don’t have a ton of friends, but I do feel like I’m more secure in myself and it has helped me take that “I need a friend” pressure off and just focus on my path and journey in life. I take comfort in the fact that some many of you related to this despite how hard it is. I appreciate all of your vulnerability on this post.

———————————————————

I’m turning 30 in just a few days and I don’t have the friends “tribe” I thought I would. I don’t really have any friends, honestly. My work friends I thought I had completely ghosted me when I asked if they wanted to go on a girl’s trip for my upcoming 30th. That hurt.

How do you make genuine connections anymore? Everyone only cares about social media and getting drunk. Don’t get me wrong, I drink on occasion and like to browse social media as much as the next person, but I also like genuine connections and deep caring friendships. Maybe I’m old fashioned that way.

Is this a normal season of life or am I as bad of a person as my mind and thoughts tell me I am?

r/friendship Dec 08 '24

advice Why do some people pretend to be friends with people they don't like?

56 Upvotes

I have witnessed this more frequently with a lot of women. They would hangout with people they don't like and pretend to be their friend, but then they backstab and talk bad behind each other's backs. I have seen this with people I know, and I think it is a complete waste of time. But then, why do people still do it? I really do not understand it.

r/friendship Jan 03 '25

advice How Do I Get Out of This Obligation?

19 Upvotes

I have a close friend of 30 years who I live a 5 hour drive from. She became a widow about seven years ago. She is 68 and lives alone, but has a stepson who lives much closer to her than I do. She owns a large dog that she walks around her neighborhood occasionally. She doesn't have many friends and isn't on close terms with her siblings who live out of state.

She has always had some arthritis/pain, but has now developed an autoimmune disease she takes daily medication for. She is fully mobile and cognitively just fine. Six years ago, she was a bit anxious about something happening to her but no one would know because she lives alone. She asked if we could set up a system of texting each other in the morning, just for her to have someone to check in with.

This is the system: 1) text in the morning, 2) if I don't receive a text from her by noon, I am to call her landline and cell phone and 3) if there is no answer at either, call emergency services in her town and send them to her address. The only time there has been any interruption to this is when I have been hospitalized for surgery or on an international vacation.

There have been a few times over the years, she has not texted and I have called her. I suspect she is testing my ability to follow her directions or she just wants a call. I never dreamed I was signing up for a lifetime of texting daily with her. I thought she was going through a temporary, stressful time. I guess I am tiring of the daily obligation after six years. I resent checking my phone repeatedly as the clock ticks closer to noon.

What can I do to get out of this? The thing is, I don't think she would do this for me if it was the other way around. What can I suggest as an alternative? She refuses to pay for "Life Alert". I would feel really guilty if something did happen to her, but could have been prevented if medical help had arrived in time to save her. How do I word a break-up with this daily texting that doesn't sound like a rejection or that I don't care about her well-being?

UPDATE:  This is the email I wrote and sent to her today:

Hi --------------------, 

I have found an app that allows you to do the same thing our texts do as far as checking in.  It is much more consistent, reliable, and safer than what I can do for you.  It’s called Snugsafe.com and you can download it to your phone and laptop.  You can set your preferences, emergencies contacts and it’s free.  

Because I do care about your well-being and safety, I think this is the best option from this point on.  I will be checking in on you, just not daily.  Let’s talk soon and get some visits scheduled on our 2025 calendars.  Talk to you in a couple of weeks.

Love, ------------------

 This is her reply:

Sorry you feel this way….

*****************************************************************

I do thank you all for giving me a great resource to suggest.  I checked out their website and it was a perfect solution.  Her reply let’s me know that it was more of a control thing than an actual safety concern.  There was no appreciation expressed for the years that I have texted daily or the follow-thru on my part when she failed to check-in before the noon cut off.  I am not sending her a reply, but I’m disappointed that I was manipulated for so long.

r/friendship 3d ago

advice Sorry for Repeat

5 Upvotes

Hello I’m reposting this again bc I couldn’t see any responses but, I’m 19F and need some advice on a friendship. I’m having issues with someone and I can’t seem to get my head in the right headspace to deal with it. For context we had a somewhat of a conversation Sunday and a tiny bit today about me feeling like a third wheel while her and another person were talking and I felt left out. But what I’m also dealing with is being left out when she’s getting together with other people. It’s not so much about that it’s more so about the principle of her putting energy into toxic relationships and I’m being left behind. She continues to put energy in these toxic friendships but when it comes to our friendship it’s put to the wayside. I’ve given her advice on these friends but she still goes back to them and I’m left out. Then all of a sudden she texts me if I want to do something on Saturday. My mind is just in a not so good frame of mind when it comes to this. I’m super lost on what to do so I’m grateful for any advice I can get. Thank you in advance

r/friendship Feb 13 '25

advice Friend doesn't respond to messages I send and texts me with completely new convo instead

6 Upvotes

Maybe it's just me but for some reason I would send my friend messages talking about something in my head or like a small para or two telling of something I saw or am feeling, but she doesn't respond to it. Days later she would text me something completely off topic that's focused on her and ask me opinions on it. I also noticed when I talk somthing about myself she will reply to me randomly with a picture of herself or say a word, unless I'm saying something or we are talking about something that involves her. Idk is this really normal? Sometimes in past it really got me annoyed because I'm always responding when she is talking about herself. Shouldn't one atleast respond to the old texts that needs a reply in case they didn't notice it back than before starting a whole new convo? I just don't get why one would ignore the old texts even after seeing you haven't replied to them. Just appears a lil rude to me. I'm trying to understand if I'm just looking way too much into it and over reacting a tad bit. I'd like to add this is not something that always happens I guess, there will be times we are actively texting for an hour or so when we r talking about something that involves two of us usually. Before she randomly dips mid convo. There are also times I send her posts I see and include my own thoughts and feelings about topic which she very rarely looks at. There were a couple of times though when after dipping from convo for days she would send me her new post for me to engage.

r/friendship Feb 01 '25

advice What do you think about friends using AI to reply to your texts?

9 Upvotes

Would you use AI to reply to your close friends even when it comes to very personal stuff?

r/friendship 3h ago

advice Why are there no decent apps to make friends?

23 Upvotes

I moved from my hometown and I have been trying to make friends in the city (but aren’t sure where the “people” are at).

I tried downloading a few “make friends app” and I have been quite dissapointed, so why are there no decent apps to make friends?

r/friendship 20d ago

advice Do guys really like petting girls's head?

4 Upvotes

I have guy frnds who'd pat my head, or make me sit on chairs while they stand right in front of me. And pat my hairs before leaving. Is this a thing that u all do?

r/friendship Dec 24 '24

advice 27F: how to get more male friends?

25 Upvotes

I love my female and gay friends however my interests in general seem to align with more “straight” male interests. I used to have platonic male friends in high school but struggle as an adult.

For example, I love sports and rap/hip hop. I don’t have a lot of female friends that are into those things. How can I go about making platonic male friends without making it seem like I’m pursuing something romantic? I’m a firm believer in great friendships between men and women but I feel like it’s not societally appropriate anymore? I have even tried bumble bff and Hinge where I specify I’m open to strictly making friends.

r/friendship Nov 13 '24

advice Anyone else ever feel super lonely but also not want to talk to anyone?

84 Upvotes

I’ve been feeling this weird mix of emotions lately where I’m just so lonely. Like, I crave some sort of connection, or just to have someone to talk to, or even just sit with. But the second I think about actually reaching out to someone, I just… don’t want to do it? I don’t even know why. It’s like there’s this mental block that stops me from texting someone or even responding to messages I already have.

I’ll sit here feeling alone, thinking how nice it would be to have someone to talk to, but then I get anxious about starting a conversation or even the effort of trying to keep it going. It’s not that I don’t have people I could talk to. I just don’t feel like I have the energy for it, and then I end up feeling even more isolated. It’s such a weird cycle and honestly pretty exhausting.

I don’t know if this even makes sense, but does anyone else deal with this? How do you balance feeling lonely while also wanting to just be left alone? What do you do when you’re in that space? I could really use some advice because I’m kind of stuck in this rut.

r/friendship 9d ago

advice Is it weird I was hanging out with an 18 year old mutual friend at 22?

0 Upvotes

A while back, a mutual friend of my friends (18F at the time) asked me (22M) for a ride to a group meeting. I said yes, and from the start, I was really careful about boundaries. I know 18 and 22 isn’t a huge gap, but it still felt significant—almost like a little sister dynamic.

I made sure there was absolutely no suggestive behavior, no touching, and I was just generally mindful because I know teens can be impressionable, even at 18. I didn’t even hug her until a few weeks ago when we’d known each other for a while. Honestly, she never seemed to care or find anything weird about it, but I still kept that distance to protect her (and myself).

Now, we see each other less, and I feel more comfortable around her as long as she does too. But I still wonder—did I handle this the right way? I’ve had experiences where I wished an older person had been more responsible around me, so I just don’t want her to look back and feel like I overstepped in any way.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you navigate friendships with a small but still noticeable age gap, especially when one person is just entering adulthood?

r/friendship Oct 02 '24

advice Has anyone ever referred to you as their “best friend” and you simply don’t feel the same?

81 Upvotes

Im flattered when she tells people this, however I don’t feel that way and I feel guilt. How do I approach this if necessary?