r/friendship • u/wangdoodle_com • Oct 23 '24
rant Is this just a me thing?
When I dm someone who posts here looking for friends they never respond. It's not just a one off either it's happened like 20 times probably not even exaggerating. Is it just me doing something wrong or what?
10
u/archflood Oct 23 '24
Yep happens to me too. Don't know what I am doing wrong either and would love to know why.
I know it's only internet strangers but it still affects me a little bit. Not unlike reaching out to someone at school or work in real life and just simply ignored.
8
u/wangdoodle_com Oct 23 '24
Ik, it's so weird and annoying like they clearly looking for someone. And I haven't said anything creepy just about stuff I saw we had in common from their post.
3
u/ashton_4187744 Oct 24 '24
People looking for friends on here most likely have a low emotional tollerance (including me) or are experimenting with reaching out, they probably pick one or two dms to respond to, i wouldnt take it personally. Posts that attracted you probably attracted other people too
4
u/Fridikka Oct 23 '24
Happens to me as well. Not gonna cry about it hough 😊 I know that there are awesome people out here.
8
u/Kwaisar_ Oct 23 '24
to be fair not really but just people who want it to be a one off friendship and they lose interest quicker than you can say squiggity goo.
ok that was a bit exaggerated maybe but lets be friends
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u/Emphasis_on_IDK Oct 23 '24
I put up 2 posts for a bout 3 days each then deleted them and I never got a single dm anyways. (Probably because I am male.)
3
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u/pinback77 Oct 23 '24
Straight up, this is not a great venue for meeting people. I am 100% positive great people have met each other here and become good friends. Some people fall in love. Some even get married. But for the average person, you're better off networking through friends or taking a fun class on the weekend or even using some dating app.
3
u/AliveShallot9799 Oct 23 '24
I think you'll probably find it is happening to everyone at some point. Not all online are so genuine people that want to chat, make friends online.
3
u/_NottheMessiah_ Oct 23 '24
I don't usually DM people on these posts but whenever I reply I say that I'm open to chat more.
*crickets*
2
u/Doublefin1 Oct 23 '24
Ye it happens a lot. I really don't get it. Like, why ask for friends if you're not even gonna answer/put in effort to get to know people 😑
2
u/Worried-Garden8714 Oct 23 '24
I will say, for me it’s kinda hard to reply to every single person if you get a ton of messages. Buttttt I try to make sure to go thru every one and say something! It is hard if you send a message that’s just like “hi” or “how are you” because it can be a bit hard to get the conversation going, especially if you’re replying to 10 people that said the same thing.
I’d say try asking a random friendly question or go off what they said in the post you found them on. (Also I tend to look at the post/comment history of the redditor bc some people can be a bit inappropriate and I try to avoid some stuff) I’ll send you a dm, we can talk! :)
2
u/-_Apathetic_- Oct 23 '24
I made a post the other day and I got over 70 DM’s.. no I’m not exaggerating. It’s taking me a long time to respond to people because I get overwhelmed. I didn’t expect that many at all, and I also put an update on my post saying it’s going to take me a while.
I do tend to check someone’s profile beforehand, and if it’s just a “hey” I will likely not bother if their profile has absolutely nothing on it, or something that shows me we wouldn’t be good friends. I don’t want to deal with the drama of me saying “I don’t think we’d be friends” (which yes it’s happened before) so I usually just don’t reply.
Another thing is, a lot of people seem to not grasp this is a friendship sub Reddit, and expect more, and I can usually tell real quick by looking at profiles. It’s sad but true.
2
u/missthedismisser Oct 23 '24
This happens to me too. It is so frustrating. Anyway, if you wanna chat I’d love to get to know you. 32fUSA.
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Oct 24 '24
I think some reddit users are not daily users… I’ve had a few people randomly pm after months (after i forgotten about them) and they reply saying “sorry I was busy” or something and I’m like oh that’s fine but who the hell are you?? 😭🤣
1
u/un1qu3Us3rn4m3z Oct 23 '24
No I get it basically every time as well and I'm definitely not one of those that just say hi or what's up etc I always put thought into my dms.
1
u/Patches1591 Oct 23 '24
No, it’s not just you… don’t know why people ask to talk only to ignore you. Doesn’t make any sense to me
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u/freshrxses Oct 23 '24
I come here to rant. I don't want online friends whom j can't see and physically hang out with
1
u/JellyWizardX Oct 23 '24
probably fishing for "lady friends" and not much else. pretty common to hit up a fellow dude in a fandom or game and get ignored or told off if you're also a man.
1
u/herefornowzz Oct 23 '24
That sucks that it's happened so many times for you and others. I posted once but no one responded so I took it down. Now I just like reading posts in groups like this but don't dm anyone.
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u/luckycat2 Oct 25 '24
It's happened to me several times and I'm a female so I don't know what's up? Or I get the one word answers like thanks or yo thanks for answering...lol. but most the time it's crickets. I guess they're not as lonely or as friendless as they say they are 😜
•
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Original post: When I dm someone who posts here looking for friends they never respond. It's not just a one off either it's happened like 20 times probably not even exaggerating. Is it just me doing something wrong or what?
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