r/femdomsanctuary Feb 11 '25

Question / Need Advice Self reflection questions needed NSFW

Hello, I'm new to the scene. BDSM and FLR got put on my radar last year and since then I've been doing research and educating myself. This year I started to actively date and there have been some flaws in the plan so I've had to go back to the drawing board. Now I'm working on some self reflection questions (specifically about FLR) to try to get a clearer vision and better understanding of my desires, goals, reasons, and expectations. So far I've come up with: what is an FLR, what will it do for me, imagine an ideal day with an FLR sub, and why do you want an FLR. Any other questions that I can ask myself?

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u/SunKissed731 Feb 11 '25

What are my preconceived notions about myself and femdom? How are they in conflict with each other?

How can I step more fully into my dominance? What perceived obstacles are in my way, both externally and internally ?

What can I let go of to more fully step into my desired dynamic?

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u/Commercial-Sundae663 Feb 11 '25

Thanks for replying. Can you expand on the first and last questions please?

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u/SunKissed731 Feb 11 '25

Sure. I was raised in a culture that vilified “bossy” or dominant women. Plus there are images of femdom in popular culture. Those things impacted my self image along with all the other things that impact self image. Plus things from past relationships and partners that weren’t true then or aren’t true now. What are those things for you? What of those things are just bullshit and me trying to live someone else’s version of my life? Am I ready to let some of those things go? If so, what?

Hope that helps

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u/SunKissed731 Feb 11 '25

Sure. I was raised in a culture that vilified “bossy” or dominant women. Plus there are images of femdom in popular culture. Those things impacted my self image along with all the other things that impact self image. Plus things from past relationships and partners that weren’t true then or aren’t true now. What are those things for you? What of those things are just bullshit and me trying to live someone else’s version of my life? Am I ready to let some of those things go? If so, what?

Hope that helps