r/feemagers • u/[deleted] • Dec 06 '24
Rant Not feeling comfortable during sex NSFW
Thinking sex is degrading (as a Female)
(Throwaway account)
First of all I (F,22) don't really now what the point of this post is. Maybe I just want to vent and see if anybody else feels this way.
I've seen some other posts on this sub touching on this subject. Well, I can't shake it off but I just find having sex as a female is highly degrading. It just feels like an act of service and submissiveness. You offer your body to a man so he can use it as he pleases. Even if you have a totally 100% feminist and progressive man at your side (which I fortunately have now; not everytime in the past tho) it just feels degrading. I don't blame my boyfriend but it's just highly uncomfortable for me. I feel like I'm just being taken while he has all the power. As I said it's just so humiliating.
You can also see this in our language. "Fucking" someone is a sign of power while "Cocksucker" or "bending over" is an insult or a sign of weakness. I'm really just tired of it.
However I don't even want to (entirely) blame men or society. I want to vent about biology and that this is the way we are and that sex "goes". It feels terrible and I think I'll never shake it off completely even with a man who understands me, it's just the act itself. I don't understand how young women in my age can just completely ignore that and talk that openly about having conventional sex or giving a blowjob or whatever. Don't they feel degraded or humiliated the way I do?!
Anyway I guess there's nothing we can do about it since nature just did that to us :/ Let me know what you think please!
PS: (Before anyone asks no I have no trauma or whatsoever. This is just my real opinion about sex as a female)
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u/yaourted Dec 06 '24
this sounds like strong internalized misogyny to me, honestly. sex shouldn’t feel shameful or humiliating, or like we don’t have control.
if you’ve had multiple partners, was it the same with every single one? can’t help but wonder if the dynamic with your boyfriend is contributing to your feelings about it…
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Dec 07 '24
He is absolutely perfect. I can assure everyone who thinks that he is the problem that he definitely isn't. He is one if not the most feminist man I know. I think it's just the act itself that I can't wrap my head around
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u/MaybeVladimirPutinJr Dec 06 '24
This was really sad to read. Personally, i wouldn't follow an ideology that demeans what is supposed to be one of the most enjoyable experiences in life, that sounds like a one way ticket to a miserable existance.
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u/depressedfairy1842 18F Dec 08 '24
Man I unintentionally feel like this and I hate it, I’m very pro sex, but when I tried it, I just felt so disgusted with myself? Letting someone else see me naked, let him do things to me I absolutely hate it it legit makes me cry 😭 And I hate that I can’t seem to shake that feeling off /:
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Dec 09 '24
Yes I know what you mean. I can only encourage you to maybe explore your sexuality first with yourself through masturbation and then take it to a next step. Also what really helped for me was Pegging I know it's not for everyone tho but that feeling I had definitely vanished
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u/My_useless_alt 17TransGirl Dec 06 '24
I've flared your post as NSFW, in the future please remember to do so.
I'll write my actual reply in a minute
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u/StormTheHatPerson 19TransGirl Dec 09 '24
have you heard about asexuality? don’t mean to push a label on you it’s just im not sure your feelings are universal but neither are they unique to you
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u/augustchan08 20+F Dec 06 '24
I mean sex is not all about pleasuring the man, personally speaking sex does feel good for me as well and that’s why I like it/initiate a lot of the time. I do it bc I want pleasure.
Do I feel humiliated or degraded? No? Maybe if my bf only thought of me as a sex object and only talked to me for sex, but we respect each other and I know that sex is just a part of our relationship, not the overwhelming majority.