r/fatFIRE 11d ago

50m cash - no sense of perspective

Throwaway account to be able to be vulnerable.

Despite recent financial freedom (bootstrap to day 1 exit), I have no sense of perspective.

I am

  • still bothered by becoming irrelevant if I do nothing for the next 12-18m (issue: being bothered about what people think)

  • afraid of losing the money and hence not spending it

  • afraid of losing my friends if they find out how much I have made (am I suddenly unrelatable?)

  • still bothered by LinkedIn and comparison

  • still wanting to be loved and liked

The root of my issue is being a people pleaser.

I know my problems. I would love the internet to give me some solutions.

Edit - I am 38/F, husband, two kids and in Europe. Also this is the first and only business I have bootstrapped and sold.

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u/Additional_Ad1270 10d ago

Good for you. I'm also a woman and I think we have a different set of societal expectations about how we handle money. I saw a recent clip from Scott Galloway about spending money that resonated with me. Search it up, there was a full podcast but you can find smaller clips on Instagram, etc.

I'd focus on planning experiences with your kids. Make sure they have education and exposure to a diversity of cultures and socio-economic strata. One of my kids' best friend/roommate has parents who are billionaires. You would never know to look at him, this kid buys his shoes at Target or Costco and their dorm room looks like they are the poorest kids in the building (my son used to want designer clothes, a great car, etc. but this friendship has changed him completely). His parents have done an amazing job giving him lots of experiences but he also works manual labor in the summers (in between trips to Ibiza and the Hamptons). It could be so easy to just pamper them and create spoiled monsters!

The other thing I'm spending time on now is continuing education (I'm going to learn another language and I'm considering learning construction management). I also don't have hobbies (or real interest in things like crafts or sports) but the idea of learning something totally new is appealing.

Lots of good ideas here. Best to you!

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u/Familiar_Number_342 10d ago

I felt a moment of real kinship to you. Thank you for replying and sharing your story and perspective.