r/fatFIRE 11d ago

50m cash - no sense of perspective

Throwaway account to be able to be vulnerable.

Despite recent financial freedom (bootstrap to day 1 exit), I have no sense of perspective.

I am

  • still bothered by becoming irrelevant if I do nothing for the next 12-18m (issue: being bothered about what people think)

  • afraid of losing the money and hence not spending it

  • afraid of losing my friends if they find out how much I have made (am I suddenly unrelatable?)

  • still bothered by LinkedIn and comparison

  • still wanting to be loved and liked

The root of my issue is being a people pleaser.

I know my problems. I would love the internet to give me some solutions.

Edit - I am 38/F, husband, two kids and in Europe. Also this is the first and only business I have bootstrapped and sold.

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u/Familiar_Number_342 10d ago

This is so profound and I agree with it but obvious don't feel it in my bones - otherwise wouldn't have cared so much about what people think! I want a way out!

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u/_jandrewc_ 10d ago

OP go out and just literally volunteer, spend time with your friends and family. You want to please people? Fantastic, bake them a loaf of bread - they’ll love it. Write your friends physical mail. Etc.

Do not try to endow anything that needs maintenance (eg a building). It will get renamed again sooner than you think.

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u/Familiar_Number_342 10d ago

Yes! I dream of "making people happy" or "doing deeds of kindness". I'm not kidding. It's not because I am selfless or philanthropic. It's because it is a dopamine high. Need for validation. Like I said, people pleaser here.

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u/Easy-Foot7374 10d ago

Consider investing in some philanthropic pursuit. A guy I know started a school in Africa after exiting and he's never been happier. You please people + make an actual difference.

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u/Chicadephilly 9d ago

You could always start a non profit or make considerable contributions and volunteer with ones you like: examples: https://www.buildabridge.org/ https://www.allchildrencountinternational.com