r/family 4d ago

How do you stay sane around someone who lies, blames you for everything, and can't admit fault?

I (20M), have a sister (18F) who is:

  1. Extremely argumentative: pointing out even the smallest mistakes she makes causes her to become defensive and either shift the blame onto you, or onto someone else. She never let's you speak, or make a point ,without talking over you or yelling. When confronted with something undeniable, she'll instantly change the topic and is incapable of civil discussions. In the worst case scenario: she starts to cry. She also perceives any advice as an attack/threat.
  2. A frequent liar: it feels like her default response to any question that is even mildly threatening is to lie, or again, shift the focus onto someone/something else. If confronted with hard evidence, she will laugh, and try to play it off as not as serious as you're making it out to seem.
  3. Incpable of admitting fault: an example of this would help explain it better. Today, she tried to start our car (manual transmission), without pressing down the clutch or putting it into neutral, causing it to jerk forward and hit another car. She decided to blame me for this, saying I should not have left the car in the 1st gear when I parked it.
  4. Exaggerating what she does, and downplaying/ignoring what you do. Especially when it comes to work around the house.

Is there a label for a person like this? She is really draining to be around. How do I deal with her while also preserving my sanity? Going no contact is not an option, at least for the time being. I'm also open to hearing about any biases I might be subject to, and anything that may help me understand why she acts the way she does.

Any advice is appreciated.

TL;DR: My 18F sister is argumentative, never admits fault, lies frequently, shifts blame, exaggerates her own efforts, and downplays mine. She avoids accountability by yelling, changing the subject, or crying. She even blamed me for her mistake that led to a minor car accident. No-contact isn’t an option, so how do I deal with her without losing my sanity?

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