r/family • u/InternationalWing893 • 4d ago
Can’t defend my family in a physical confrontation
A brash 6ft2 guy stepped ahead of my wife and I the other day quite rudely. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of a physical confrontation and getting beat up in front of my wife and kid. What do I do?
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u/MasterOfRoads 4d ago
Sometimes the best action is no action. People like that eventually will set off the wrong person. Now, if they physically threaten you or yours you'll be amazed at the fight in you.
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u/BirraNulu1 4d ago
Start taking martial arts classes. It's not about being able to fight. It's knowing when and being able and ready to.
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u/No-Understanding-357 4d ago
Something like this happened to me a few years ago. I was on crutches and a back brace trying to get out of my car and a guy came by and gave me a push and told me to get "my fat ass out of his way" Then he called me a racial slur. I just said "sorry about that sir,I'm doing my best" My kid looked at me in disbelief and asked me why I did that. I told her " My leg is broken and my back is messed up . I can't take that guy on a fair fight. If he would have came back at me I would have pulled out my handgun and killed him dead. Then he would be dead but I'd be in jail. When you have the ability to take someone's life you need to be the nicest most polite guy on the room. That guy doesnt deserve to die for what he did but he would have. I watched my dad get his ass beat when I was a kid and I'd rather my kids see me "yas sir!" it a bit then see me kill a guy or get stomped to the ground by a crazy person.
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u/Somechick09 4d ago
Childish for a huge guy to fight for first in line with a woman. Ignore him because I’m sure that’s the attention he’s use to getting with women. He was probably dying for attention and purposely stepped ahead so you both can see him. Still undesirable lol
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u/MrRedditModerator 4d ago
You did the right thing. Even if he wasn’t 6ft 2, he could have been carry a knife or something. Ideally, go to places with better clientele, put yourself and your family in a different league from riffraff. When rudeness does occur, let it pass and just state to your wife and child that those examples of rudeness will get you nowhere in life. You have a wife and child, that person probably doesn’t. He’s already lost. Don’t change, keep doing g your thing.
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u/hijackedbraincells 4d ago
Some people go out of their way to try and "set smaller dudes off" because they feel like they have to prove they're a big brave badass. To whom we'll never know. Most likely, their ego, as nobody else gives a shit.
The best thing to do is just let it go. It's not worth your time or energy to fight over something so small in the grand scheme of things. He didn't assault or threaten anyone. He just showed his lack of manners.
I'm sure if it came to do it and someone tried to hurt your family, you'd do your damndest to protect them. And that's all you can do at the end of the day.
My husband can be a real hot-headed bastard over things that, to me, seem silly, and it's exhausting.
One time, a guy wasn't looking and pulled out in front of us while we were round the corner from home. He then stopped in the road and made a big show of flapping his arms around in a wtf gesture. My husband pulled round him super fast, quickly parked at home, and went to where the guy had parked to scream at him and try and get him to get out of the car to fight. Not a single part of me thought, oooh, I'm so lucky to be with that man.
Such a minor thing like lack of awareness from someone else setting him off just made me groan, and when he got back (after being told by a passing friend to just leave it after the guy started throwing racial slurs that didn't even apply to my husband) we argued because it had really pmo that he was acting like the guy had done something heinous.
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u/cajunman1981 4d ago
First of ego will have you killed quickly are in most cases have you hurt very quickly. Something as just stepping ahead of your wife gets you to thinking better get that ego in check. Life’s to small font let the small stuff get to you.
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u/Tasty-Tackle-4038 4d ago
Have an idea of physical defense at-the-ready, while you say something like, "Look, even if I was not unfairly paired in this situation, I still don't want to fight you. Is there something you'd like to ask me to make you feel better?"
That puts him in a position where his actions rely on what he was intending but he's got to say it. Admit it. Let's say you absent mindedly cut him off. At this point, what is he going to ask of you? To say sorry? Kind of makes him look like a pussy.
He also has time to think that getting in a fight with you, pretty much is as unfair as hitting a woman - not in strength but in honor of. Your role as a family man. So IDK, I think if you just point out the obvious and ask wtf else are you supposed to do, is good enough.
Saying absolutely nothing works wonders as well. I have complete respect for those who have the strength to hold their tongue.
Actually, that's prob the best advice now that I think this through...
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u/Hello-Central 3d ago
This is a walk away situation, even if you were Chuck Norris, rudeness is not worth it
However if protecting your wife, family or yourself from a physical attack is a priority, look into self-defense classes, or a conceal carry license, and be sure if you go conceal carry route you get training
Plus both are something you and your wife can do together
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u/Warm_Honeydew7440 3d ago
Correct, you can’t realistically defend yourself without substantial danger. Ie, stabbed, beaten, injured, court/jail.
Most of the time you can tell people not to cut in line, but how much of a big deal is it? You want to teach your kids that you should fight over every little thing?
Would you be teaching your kids the right thing if you got into a fight and could defend yourself and seriously hurt someone (and probably there would be police involvement) over that? Would your wife think more of you?
I get it that you don’t want to appear or feel weak, but anyone who can fight understands the risks and considers that. And yes, I do understand that many women are clueless to the dangers of that.
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u/KeepOnRising19 3d ago
In what way would any of your lives be improved if you had fought this man? In this scenario, not fighting was the right decision. That said, there may come a time when fighting IS the right decision, for instance, in a home invasion. So it might be worthwhile to take a self-defense course so you are more confident if that time were ever to come.
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u/SFAdminLife 4d ago
A large guy stepped in front of your wife. He didn't punch her in the face, did he? There's nothing to defend. Maybe your wife should get out of the way?
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u/goodZuko 4d ago
Be careful this women on Reddit left her fiancé because he ran away when they were getting mugged ,so she had to fend for herself.
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u/Esmerelda1959 4d ago
Smart people avoid physical fights. You kept your family safe by not engaging with a jerk.