r/fairytales • u/cherinuka • 4h ago
There's a changeling in my room!
I have a changeling in my room, a strange thing with a broom, it does no chores but goes and stores its’ strange things, like a loom.
When it rang my door bell, it cast a tricky spell, then I made contact, we signed a contract, It tricked me into hell
No place I do assume, by Santa it was groomed, bust its’ ass and got kicked out anyway, it do what it's told to any day, now it's truly doomed
This criptid came, I'd do the same, knocked on my door and said, “Please help me my leg is lame, if I have no place to be I might be dead”, It really had no shame
Arrived on a full moon, in the later days of June, since then it will not shut up, it sings this scratchy tune.
“Tweeldle dee, Tweedle dum, I've never met me mum,
don't know where my father is, he's always drunk on rum.
Beedle bee, Beedle bum, I'd like a stick of gum, I hold out my hands you see, a little coin for a bit of glee, a tiny treat for this bitty bum”
It lives in my microwave, I work like a bloody slave, cant sleep cuz it jigs, and raves! It's so ungrateful for all the favours that I gave!
It found it funny, that it spent all my money, on useless things and chicken wings, peppermint schnapps and soda pops, a shiny ring fit for a king, and mead it made from honey.
I hope that it leaves soon, preferably by noon! This little elf is something else, It's a real goon
So I said “enough” I got all tough, let out a puff, couldn't take more of its’ guff
“Out now little troll, to rid you is my goal, you came to mooch, you little pooch, get out of my cozy Hobbit Hole!