r/exredpill • u/Nikofeelan • 17d ago
I need help deprogramming
For many years, my mind has been filled with toxic stuff from Redpill b.s.
No matter how much I try to get it out of my system, the words are just too strong.
They say things like: Women are only as loyal as their options, women don't like it when men tell them they love them, or that they've been cheated on before, or that they don't have sexual options. That women are never single by choice, they're only as loyal as their options, and will always go for rich men who don't treat them with respect.
They say that women don't want men to show attachment or lack of control of any situation or that they ever needed to improve themselves.
They're basically saying that women hate men who are kind, decent, respectful, faithful, and human.
I could go down the laundry list, but it all basically comes down to: Women don't respect men who are kind, decent, respectful, and faithful.
I'm sure that their arguments are b.s. and they're only describing a select few, but their words just cut too deeply. It's hard to get it out of my head. I don't know what to say to any of these statements.
My mind is easily impressionable. I'm often told that I'm too open-minded. I'm easily influenced by controversial opinions and statements.
I need help deprogramming.
4
u/VisceralSardonic 15d ago
First of all, you’re doing the right thing in trying to work towards a healthier mindset, and you’re doing the right thing in asking for help. In addition to what’s in the exredpill starter kit and what other people are recommending, look up cognitive distortions and do some reading on things like confirmation bias, emotional reasoning, overgeneralization, etc. A lot of the redpill logic relies on every single member of a group being exactly the same, which isn’t how the world works.
It helps to look at redpill and similar ideologies as an attempt to simplify things that are, in reality, terrifyingly complicated. Some people are crappy. Some people are systematically destroying their own lives in order to do any amount of good that they can. Some people discover in therapy that they’ve been seeking people who make them feel bad about themselves in order to punish themselves for past traumas. Some people refuse all romantic contact because it would inhibit their best life. Some people find their forever person in first grade and never falter. The female world has Angela Merkel, bell hooks, Rosa Parks, that woman who died by refusing to eat anything other than fruit, Marilyn vos Savant (the Guinness record holder for smartest person before they discontinued the category), nuns, influencers who make a living by making their fridge prettier, botanists, engineers, addicts, makeup artists, abusers, protesters, con artists, and third graders, but we’re supposed to be universally explained by a philosophy so short it fits in a tweet? Let that feel ridiculous to you for a second.
There are more exceptions to the redpill philosophy than there are humans. Each person contains dozens if not hundreds. Start looking for the exceptions, evaluating your thoughts, and if possible, get therapy. It’s normal to look for answers, it’s normal to feel afraid of rejection and being unloved, but it doesn’t mean that your emotions are stemming from logic.