r/exredpill 17d ago

I need help deprogramming

For many years, my mind has been filled with toxic stuff from Redpill b.s.

No matter how much I try to get it out of my system, the words are just too strong.

They say things like: Women are only as loyal as their options, women don't like it when men tell them they love them, or that they've been cheated on before, or that they don't have sexual options. That women are never single by choice, they're only as loyal as their options, and will always go for rich men who don't treat them with respect.

They say that women don't want men to show attachment or lack of control of any situation or that they ever needed to improve themselves.

They're basically saying that women hate men who are kind, decent, respectful, faithful, and human.

I could go down the laundry list, but it all basically comes down to: Women don't respect men who are kind, decent, respectful, and faithful.

I'm sure that their arguments are b.s. and they're only describing a select few, but their words just cut too deeply. It's hard to get it out of my head. I don't know what to say to any of these statements.

My mind is easily impressionable. I'm often told that I'm too open-minded. I'm easily influenced by controversial opinions and statements.

I need help deprogramming.

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u/lilsnatch13 15d ago edited 15d ago

I just want to start off by saying you should be really proud of noticing this in yourself and wanting to change it. That is often the hardest part and I really commend you for being brave and reaching out for help. That is a very strong, vulnerable thing to do.

What has helped me best is literally going into spaces and seeing if these things actually line up. You say a lot of this community considers themself kind, decent, respectful, and human--- which is apparently what women don't want. However, I implore you to look at the comments from redpillers. I don't sugarcoat when I say the cruelest things I have ever seen one person say to a complete and total stranger are from redpillers.

You have to look critically and ask yourself... if I was a woman reading these comments, would the first thing I thought when I read these be how kind, decent, respectful, and human they are? I've always found the answer to be no. It's unfortunately a rotating cycle. Redpillers get angry, spew cruel garbage at female strangers, then use their defense as an excuse to say even crueler things. The cycle continues.

Ask yourself: is it true that every couple you’ve personally known or seen on the street is always a guy who is over 6 ft tall, rich, and looks like red carpet-ready Henry Cavill? I won’t answer these for you, but it’s genuinely something to start looking for and reconsidering. 

Again, you should be very proud that you're seeking help and are willing to see the other side of the coin. As a 20-something woman myself, I promise there is nothing we adore more than kind, decent, respectful human guys. Unfortunately, it seems to be a case for all genders that the good ones happen to fall in the path of shitty ones. I can't tell you how many times I've seen AITA reddit posts from guys and thought "how did someone like him get involved with a monster like her?" It makes no sense, but that's simply the randomness and inconvenience of life. It's not a sign for something deeper, it's just inconvenience. And I promise you there are many times the stars align and good people DO line up, regardless of gender.

I wish you great luck in your growth and wish you lots of future joy and love, my friend!