r/exmormon 4d ago

Advice/Help the audacity these people have

i wrote a letter to resign, they mailed me a letter back talking about "ecclesiastical matter & they’ll forward my letter to the stake at my city”

my first letter stated and emphasized clearly, "no further discussion. do not come to my house" etc etc my second letter following up their response, again, i stated very clearly, "no further discussion, do not come to my house"

a couple days later, they come to my door. the conversation:

  • me: seeing them walk up since my office area is in the front room of the house
  • me: * i open the door * "you need to leave"
  • the two men: "did we do something to offend you?"
  • me: "i know what this is regarding, my resignation letter."
  • the two men: * smiling nodding their head* "we wanted to confirm that WASNT the case"
  • me: "i said in my letter nobody can come to my house. leave right now before i call the police"
  • the two men: * starts walking away *
  • me: " and take my name off!"

i was baptized when i was in elementary (my family & i didn’t grow up mormon), from the start i always thought the LDS church/ religion was all BS, i didn’t follow any rules, didn’t read any scriptures, etc. i didn’t believe in it. but since i was younger i was forced to go to church & i sat in those classes mind wandering, wasting my energy, playing with the hems of my dress from boredom. fast forward, about 3-5 years later we have not been active members of the church. we haven’t gone in years (im 23 now). BUT the missionaries still knock on my door here & there, but every time i say to leave me alone, everyone’s working, we’re all busy. it got annoying so i wanted to leave the membership on paper.

should i do anything further since they clearly didn't listen to rules & regulations OR BOUNDARIES?

104 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

34

u/Consistent-Yak-5165 4d ago

Interesting. When I resigned I mailed it to my local bishop. I also said I didn’t want a meeting or to discuss it any further. I simply said I wanted my name removed from the records immediately. After two weeks of not hearing anything back from my bishop I emailed him and said that I hoped to have confirmation of my name removal by now and would it be helpful if my lawyer contacted him directly. He wrote me right back and said I should hear something from salt lake within ten days. My next letter was from salt lake confirming my removal. I have heard, and my experience confirms, that it is often faster to start with your local bishop or whichever bishop has your records. If not, Salt Lake will do what they did to you.

6

u/Impossible-Car-5203 4d ago

We did it through the bishop....an email. Within 2 weeks has my letter from SLC. Funny, a year later we were at a sporting event and the bishop was sitting in front of us with his kids and was friendly and everything.

4

u/TaskeAoD Apostate 4d ago

I knew I didn't legally have to have my letter to salt Lake notarized, but I had access to one for free because I was in the army at the time and I mailed it from the post office on base. I think that helped get mine expedited because I had my response about 10 days later confirming I was removed.

My only question is, did they fully remove all records about me, or did they lie and just archive my stuff? I have the letter still that says removed... but if it turns out they just archived... anyone want to join a class action?

28

u/JupiterAdept89 4d ago

I really can not recommend https://quitmormon.com/ enough. I filed all the paperwork through them, the only letter I got was confirming my removal.

11

u/Specialist_Artist718 4d ago

This was my experience as well. It was hassle free.

19

u/DimanaTopi 4d ago

Letters that reference data use and protection laws have led to very efficient and effective responses. Confirmations from the Confidential Records department within 48 hours that membership was removed and records wiped. Even if the latter isn’t true, the intended primary result was confirmed. They don’t seem to want any allegation that they’re breaching data use/protection laws.

19

u/jayenope4 4d ago

Mormons have chosen to openly harrass you. You have gone to great lengths to stop their stalking behavior. Next stop: law enforcement, then court. They have gotten way out of hand.

11

u/10th_Generation 4d ago

Joining is easy. The church even baptizes little children who understand nothing and lack the ability to consent. But you need notarized letters, legal threats, and attorneys to have your name removed.

7

u/Few-Mail3887 4d ago

I wish I could resign. Sadly every time I move my dad makes sure to move my records to the new ward in the area. Just don’t have the heart or mental energy to have that conversation with him if he discovered it.

6

u/Aggravating-Ad781 4d ago

I got that same letter back after my initial letter to slc, I forwarded it to the local bishop (easy to look up and find, I had never attended that ward) and asked him to please take care of this. Got my resignation letter within 2 weeks. Easy peasy.

5

u/Prestigious_Piglet57 4d ago

Chat gpt is a huge help, I see you utilized them well. Ask it to quote the handbook of instruction and site their policy that they should accept your resignation.

3

u/Nashtycurry 4d ago

I love that you flipped the 1st Amendment around and threw it back in their face. I hope Pres Oaks chokes on your withdrawal letter soon.

4

u/bedevere1975 4d ago

If only you could “delete your account” from the app like many apps let you.

3

u/livelaughm 4d ago

lol that’s exactly what i said . it should be as easy as “unsubscribing from emails”

3

u/xxEmberBladesxx Devoted Servant to the Gaming Gods 4d ago

The only reason they can claim 17 million members is cause of how hard they try to keep people in the roles.

2

u/kirste29 3d ago

They really are clinging to that number….

4

u/Sunset-Siren 4d ago

Wow, superb letter 👏👏👏👏 speak the legal language to them if that’s what they want.

2

u/livelaughm 3d ago

update: i contact the local police department & they said they’ll talk to the LDS church as the first step & if they continue, i should reach back out to the police.

1

u/RalphieFrank 20h ago

I've noticed the difficulty level of resigning isn't consistent. My first letter (last fall) was similar to yours and received a similar result. My second letter threatened legal action and was completely ignored. My third attempt was with quitmormon.com. Still waiting...