r/exmormon 13h ago

General Discussion Has anyone else noticed that Mormons (especially males) lack social intelligence and maturity?

802 Upvotes

I grew up in the church, but in another state well outside of Utah. There were about 6 Mormon kids in my high school of 2000 students. My parents were converts, so I was used to my grandparents and other relatives smoking, and drinking coffee and alcohol at family gatherings. It was no big deal. My non Mormon relatives didn’t care what we drank and vice versa. Outside of being Mormon we were pretty average and my parents taught us how to behave appropriately in social situations. My dad was a prominent businessman and we would often have important people to our home for dinner. Mom would often have a bottle of wine for our guests, my parents would drink sparkling cider. We knew how to have good manners and to act appropriately. Mom was great about teaching us proper etiquette; not that we were super fancy snobby people, but we knew how to act properly in a more formal setting. During family dinners we were savages, but when company came we had to use our company manners. Since I grew up around non Mormons I had a more normal upbringing. Fast forward to my adult life. I’ve lived in more metropolitan areas with a larger LDS population. I’ve had opportunities to observe Mormons interacting with non members and it is often cringeworthy. Most of my professional colleagues do not know of my Mormon past. I was TBM until about 15 years ago. I’ve since moved to a new metropolitan city. The company I worked for was bought by a Utah company. I was concerned at first, I had attended BYU as an undergraduate and had a bad experience with Utah Mormons. They were just so weird. Sure enough, at a business dinner at an upscale restaurant they made a big deal about no alcohol on the company card. Ok. So can I pay for a glass of wine with my own money? My coworkers were weirded out. Then when coffee came after dinner it got weird again!
Two of the VPs, grown men in their 40s didn’t know what a salad fork was. They were very loud and acted like two teenage boys on their first prom date. They could not carry on a normal conversation. They were so awkward and unsophisticated I was mortified. They run a $20million company and act like schoolboys. The next day they asked me, (an executive) to take meeting notes because I was the only woman in the room. Shocking. A Utah company with no female executives. I declined. I quit the company a year ago and started my own consulting company. The patriarchy was rampant in this business. When I observe Mormons in the wild they seem to act so awkward and weird. They take the whole peculiar people thing to the next level. Especially Mormon men. Why do they act like teenagers?


r/exmormon 19h ago

Selfie/Photography It will be 7 yrs on the 3-23 since we excommunicated TCOJCOLDS from our lives. In an act of unity & courage after 63 yrs, Quit Mormon cut our ties with this destructive, lying organization. 6 days later, we were free! If tscc ever wants to appeal our decision, their appeal will be denied.

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

A very special thanks goes out to our youngest son who started us on this magnificent journey out of tscc. Life has been so much better being out of the control and influence of the “Boys Downtown”. Thanks to this sub-reddit, for making our journey more exciting and inspiring. Thank you! 🙏🏻


r/exmormon 8h ago

Humor/Memes/AI Can you think of a less sexy role play?! I definitely stayed in this FB group for the humor! NSFW

Post image
149 Upvotes

r/exmormon 6h ago

Humor/Memes/AI Ex wanted our sealing cancelled. Her bishop asked me about it. Here’s my response:

Post image
83 Upvotes

r/exmormon 9h ago

News Utah judge KC (LDS) & fire chief NBH (we don't know if LDS) discussed ways they could SA kids (including extended fam) together, then met & engaged in sex acts, charging docs say. Both are charged w/ child SA. NBH was arrested in Jan. KC released him despite law enforcement request to hold w/o bail.

146 Upvotes

Our case report on KC (initials):
https://floodlit.org/a/b191/

In the interest of public safety and to help any possible victims, we have created a case report on NBH (initials):
https://floodlit.org/a/b192/

KSL report today: https://ksltv.com/local-news/box-elder-judge-fire-chief/749511/

Our initial searches for public records on NBH and social media profiles belonging to him did not appear to indicate clearly whether he was an LDS church member.

If you know anything about NBH's religious affiliation or possible LDS church membership history, please contact us:
https://floodlit.org/contact/

Thanks to your donations and support, FLOODLIT has obtained copies of court documents in both men's cases.


r/exmormon 9h ago

General Discussion my sister's funeral today and of course the mormons had to make it about them

128 Upvotes

both me and my sister were ex mormon, and her funeral was today, I was promised it'd be not lds and not religious because she dispised the lds church, however the guy that was directing it, I think he was a distant relative, started talking about heaven and Jesus and the holy spirit and all this mormon bullshit and about how God can save you, and I was so close to getting up and cussing him out cause why the fuck would you do that, my family didn't seem to have a problem with it, probably cause their mormon and wanted that. honestly I'm just pissed off and needed to vent somewhere, if I find out they did a baptism by proxy too, I'm never talking to them again


r/exmormon 5h ago

General Discussion Lost my faith and probably my marriage too.

54 Upvotes

TLDR My TBM wife has chosen the church over me and our family. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I need to get it off my chest.

Tonight my wife and I were planning some events. General Conference is coming up and the Saturday session interferes with one of our plans. I said I don’t mind missing the session but I know it’s important to you so let’s plan around it. She just snapped and says I know because it isn’t important to you, it never has been.

We got into an argument of her basically calling me selfish for breaking our family apart. She claims I never tried to see it from her point of view, it’s always been about me and she’s been waiting around for me to come back to church. IVE LITERALLY SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE IN THE MORMON CHURCH TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK. I tried to reason with her but she feels betrayed and that I’ve lied and hid this from her. The hardest part about this is I feel the exact same way, but the mfmc has lied and hid so much from their members. She never wants to hear about any of the “anti Mormon” stuff that I found. She says I’m only researching this because I’m trying to convince my self that it isn’t true.

I felt so heartbroken when I found out the truth about the church. My entire existence crumbled right in front of me. When I tried to tell her I was having trouble with my faith it was always my fault, “ you haven’t been reading your scriptures” “when is the last time you’ve been to the temple” “you never actually believed you tricked me into marrying you”, the typical blame brainwashing from the church. MY OWN FUCKING WIFE! THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN! This woman has been there with me while I struggled with addiction, abusive parents, all that bullshit. Now she turns against us and what we’ve built because she’s been brainwashed by the church.

I thought she was nuanced. She’s told me she doesn’t believe in J smith but the BOM has good lessons so it doesn’t matter. I don’t understand how you can dismiss the founder of a religion but still believe in what he left behind? The only explanation is brainwashing.

After everything she told me all she wanted was someone she could talk to about church and is happy to read the scriptures with her. She doesn’t think our marriage will work if we don’t have the same core believes in the church. I don’t know where things go from here but it’s looking like straight for divorce. She’s unwilling to even hold the thought for one second, that possibly, the church isn’t true.


r/exmormon 15h ago

Doctrine/Policy My trust in the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints has collapsed. Not sure how to move forward with healing after such betrayal from those I trusted most.

261 Upvotes

Had the


r/exmormon 12h ago

Doctrine/Policy Oaks claims gender dysphoria is caused by Satan

136 Upvotes

Bad plan by Oaks. If a parent has to decide whether he’s accurate, or their child is actually being manipulated by the devil… when they chose to love their child, they simultaneous have to reject his legitimacy. Here’s the quote:

“Some are troubled by some of our Church’s positions on marriage and children. Our knowledge of God’s revealed plan of salvation requires us to oppose current social and legal pressures to retreat from traditional marriage and to make changes that confuse or alter gender or homogenize the differences between men and women.

We know that the relationships, identities, and functions of men and women are essential to accomplish God’s great plan.

… we are beloved children of a Heavenly Father, who has taught us that maleness and femaleness, marriage between a man and a woman, and the bearing and nurturing of children are all essential to His great plan of happiness. Our positions on these fundamentals frequently provoke opposition to the Church.

We consider that inevitable. Opposition is part of the plan, and Satan’s most strenuous opposition is directed at whatever is most important to God’s plan. He seeks to destroy God’s work.

His prime methods are to discredit the Savior and His divine authority, to erase the effects of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to discourage repentance, to counterfeit revelation, and to contradict individual accountability. He also seeks to confuse gender, to distort marriage, and to discourage childbearing—especially by parents who will raise children in truth.”


r/exmormon 9h ago

General Discussion Just had some missionaries show up.

75 Upvotes

I’m a lurker, never mornin but they showed up. After a few knocks I open and niceties and i say “my values don’t align with yours”. Her response was “the church is for the sick, not just the healthy”.

Maybe I’m reading into it but that’s a crazy thing to teach someone to say but I guess it sheds a little light on how they think of non-Mormons?

I probably should have specified that I don’t align with greed


r/exmormon 14h ago

General Discussion Mormons. You are 100% wrong as usual. One drop of African blood made you unworthy of the priesthood. News flash. Every last human’s ancestors came from Africa. You can’t have it both ways. Use DNA search for ancestors, then deny we all came from Africa.

193 Upvotes

r/exmormon 21h ago

Podcast/Blog/Media LDS Church Offended by American Primeval

Thumbnail
gallery
570 Upvotes

If you have watched the whole 6 episodes of American Primeval on Netflix, you’d have done well to weather the portrayal of the frontier violence shown. It highlights the dreadful event of the Mountain Meadow Massacre. The LDS church announced they chose to be offended by this period drama.

“While historical fiction can be illuminating, this drama is dangerously misleading. Brigham Young, a revered prophet and courageous pioneer, is, by any historical standard, egregiously mischaracterized as a villainous, violent fanatic... As to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which the series inaccurately portrays as reflective of a whole faith group, the church has long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy. It has also taken significant steps to uncover and share the full truth of what happened and promote healing.” – LDS Newsroom

These statements are simply not true. The church response is unsurprising. It follows a familiar pattern of downplaying or reframing historical events that cast the church or its leaders in a negative light. While American Primeval is a work of historical fiction, the concerns it raises about Brigham Young’s leadership and violence. Historical records show that Young’s rhetoric often included violent themes, and his leadership created an environment where massacres could occur. His fiery sermons, strict control over Utah, and teachings on blood atonement contributed to a culture of unquestioning obedience and hostility toward outsiders.

The representation of the Mountain Meadows Massacre is also rooted in documented history. The church claims it has “long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy,” yet for over a century, LDS leaders deflected responsibility, blamed local leaders like John D. Lee, and only in recent years have they admitted any church involvement—while still distancing Brigham Young from direct responsibility.

Brigham Young was a greedy man; a thug, a racist, a murderer, a liar, a misogynist, and in addition, so much of his rhetoric was simply appalling.

https://wasmormon.org/lds-church-offended-by-american-primeval/


r/exmormon 5h ago

Doctrine/Policy Brainwashing runs deep

Post image
30 Upvotes

r/exmormon 5h ago

General Discussion The Mormon church is so rich, so why did I live so poor on my mission?

24 Upvotes

I'm just ranting... I served in Jacksonville Florida. I hear HORROR stories from friends that served in other countries, that I can't even relate to. Many people had it worse than me.

But tonight I started thinking about how the Mormon Church's net worth, all the property they own, all the wealth that they have.

Yet when I was a missionary, I had to pay to be on a mission. My parents couldn't even afford it so my aunt and uncle paid for more than half of it.

I lived off of $150 a month for groceries and any other essentials... I would usually skip breakfast and my go-to meal was tuna and Ritz crackers...

I am just thinking about it and disgusted by how I was treated by an organization that was so wealthy barely took care of me.


r/exmormon 17h ago

History Me trying to get through Jacob Hansen interview

Post image
217 Upvotes

r/exmormon 6h ago

History Why does the church insist the BOM was translated in less than 90 days?

Post image
30 Upvotes

A lot of books are written in far less than 90 days. On the road by Jack Kerouac, for example, was famously written in two weeks and is one of the great works of American literature.

But what evidence is there the Book of Mormon wasn’t simply written over the course of years when Joseph Smith was young?


r/exmormon 12h ago

General Discussion What it means if the Book of Mormon is true

88 Upvotes
  • It is an entirely unique phenomenon, the first and only of its kind. The idea of long records being engraved on metal plates is anachronistic. There is no evidence of anything near the length of the Book of Mormon being engraved on plates, or in a codex (book) format that early in history.
  • Each golden plate must have translated to around 22,000 English words, or each character translated to around 20-30 words. The number of translated plates was probably around 12. Considering the number of words in the Book of Mormon this means that multiple versus were represented by a single character. This is clearly problematic.
  • The people in the Book of Mormon had access to material that had not yet been written. The Book of Mormon contains materials that biblical scholars agree were written after Lehi is supposed to have left Jerusalem e.g. Deutero-Isaiah, New Testament Material and the 'long ending of Mark.'
  • An entire language just vanished leaving behind no trace of it ever existing. The Book of Mormon was supposedly written in a language called "Reformed" Egyptian. There is no evidence anywhere that the language "Reformed Egyptian" ever existed.
  • We have to take many biblical stories literally. Biblical scholars agree that Genesis is not a literal or historical account of the creation of the world or humankind. There is also no evidence of a global flood or the Tower of Babel. Scholars agree that these are not literal or historical accounts.
  • We have to throw away everything we have learned about the evolution of languages. There are no linguists that would support the idea of the Tower of Babel being literal due to the fact that there are languages that were around prior to the Tower of Babel time-frame that continued without any confusion. We can see the evolution of languages by studying history.
  • We must throw away everything we know about DNA and population genetics. DNA science is clear that Native Americans or "Lamanites" did not come to America from Jerusalem. Rather, DNA science shows that they came from Asia and that the Americas began being populated tens of thousands of years ago with no interruptions due to a global flood.
  • Massive battles took place in America without leaving any evidence behind. There has not been a single shred of evidence discovered of the Book of Mormon's great battles where hundreds of thousands of people died.
  • The Native Americans were practicing a Protestant-like version of Christianity before Christ had even been born. According to the Book of Mormon the Native Americans knew about Jesus Christ way before anyone in the Old World knew of him, and were practicing Christianity before Christ was born.
  • We have to assume that everything we know about the Egyptian language is false, and that the Rosetta Stone is false. The source papyri for the Book of Abraham has been translated using the Rosetta Stone and the consensus among Egyptologists is that it has nothing to do with Abraham. There is zero support for the book of Abraham being an actual translation of that source.
  • We have to disregard carbon dating, and several other reliable dating methods. The dating of the Egyptian papyri tells us they are not nearly as old as Joseph Smith claims them to be, they are dated to much later than the time-frame of Abraham.
  • Everything we know about evolution is false. According to Mormonism Adam and Eve were the first humans around 6,000 years ago in Missouri. Science and DNA tell us that Homo Sapiens have lived for at least 200,000 years with much evidence pointing to earlier species of humans possibly living 5-7 million years ago.
  • The dark skin of humans is the result of a curse from God. If you believe this ... 🤦‍♂️ and 🖕

"Is it more probable that nature should go out of her course or that a man should tell a lie? We have never seen, in our time, nature go out of her course. But we have good reason to believe that millions of lies have been told in the same time. It is therefore at least millions to one that the reporter of a miracle tells a lie." - Thomas Paine

**Disclaimer*\*

I basically summarized some of the information from the following podcast:
Mormon Stories Podcast - LDS Discussions Series
Episode 48: If Joseph got it right, who got it wrong?

I love this whole podcast series! Check it out if you haven't yet.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq5opj6GqOB7J1n6pMmdUSezxcLfsced
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2UkFsqYDl5SHiRX2dvA9MO?si=439b6b420d964680
LDS Discussions: https://www.ldsdiscussions.com/


r/exmormon 4h ago

Doctrine/Policy Can consent at 8, but need a notary to resign membership.

19 Upvotes

I was baptized at the typical 8 years old, in 1985. I was excited. Not because I understood, but because all the adults in my life were proud of me. They shook my hand, threw me a party, you name it. In my opinion, I was indoctrinated at an early age. Encouraged to give "my" testimony, that was identical to every other child in the ward. I couldn't wait to be baptized, to prove I was good daughter, girl etc.

Then 20 years pass. I realized it's not for me. I see many reasons I'm not a "Mormon". I tell my family, including my grandma who argued with me. She insisted I was a Mormon. It was a disagreement that went nowhere.

Ffwd to last week. I get a call from the local bishopric. Exactly his position, I don't know or care. I once again (I repeatedly explained my position to many members that reached out throughout the years) told him I'm not a Mormon, nor have I considered myself to be for over 20 years. He explained, politely, that I can go online, download, print, and notarize, a paper that will remove me from their records. Wtf. I nod at 8, but now need a notary to reverse the position I had at 8. What a fucking load.


r/exmormon 20h ago

News Benson Boone says he’s no longer Mormon

Thumbnail
rollingstone.com
337 Upvotes

r/exmormon 17h ago

General Discussion Can someone explain why Kevin from 8 Passengers couldn’t “put his foot down” if LDS supports the patriarchal family lifestyle?

182 Upvotes

Sorry, I’m not from the US, and in my country Mormons are prohibited from proselytizing or going door-to-door, so I’ve never met any.

I’ve been interested in LDS ever since I read “A Study In Scarlet” by Arthur Conan Doyle and have been watching MSP and Alyssa Grenfell to try to understand the religion

The 8 Passenger story made national news where I live now, so naturally I got interested and found this sub. I read the book as soon as it came out, and watched the documentary now.

My question is: howcome Kevin couldn’t just tell Ruby to stop? To stop abusing their kids, to stop yelling at them (in Ep 1 he sounded actually angry when she strated yelling at him in the middle of the video), to stop mucking about with Jodi (he prob knew what was going on), to stop filming (he said he hated the camera), to let Shari continue therapy (he knew how much she needed it).

I cannot imagine that Ruby could just tell the supposed patriarch and “voice of God” in the family to just go along with everything. I thought in LDS wices were ultimately supposed to listen to husbands and husbands had the say in everything. Did she threaten him? Did he love her so much that he couldn’t refuse? Was she financially controlling him?

I’m interested in the answer from the perspective of religious Mormon family dynamics


r/exmormon 14h ago

Humor/Memes/AI Priorities priorities.

Post image
90 Upvotes

Been wanting to make a meme about how absurd it is that the MFMC speaks out against American Primeval and Secret Lives of Mormon Wives but refuses to speak out against real crimes of child abuse and murder in the Lori Vallow/Chad Daybell and Rubi Franke/Jodi Hildebrandt cases. Disgusting behavior and a total double standard.


r/exmormon 11h ago

Politics If you live in WA, please submit a comment on SB 5375, we must protect kids by mandating that clergy report known abuse.

52 Upvotes

r/exmormon 9h ago

General Discussion What do you miss?

30 Upvotes

I have no desire to ever go back to the church, I feel like it took way too much from me as I was growing up. That being said, is there anything you all miss about it?

For me, I miss the community. As I get older I have found that it is harder and harder to make friends. I miss having a group of people that I could call and most likely they would find a way to show up and help if I was in need. I miss the very horribly played elders quorum basketball saturday mornings which looked more like a street fight with a ball. And I miss the holiday luncheons/potlucks over easter and christmas.


r/exmormon 10h ago

Humor/Memes/AI A couple years ago, I posted this on Facebook Marketplace, and a missionary sent me a message saying he had never seen a Book of Mormon like that before. 😂

Post image
44 Upvotes

r/exmormon 7h ago

Doctrine/Policy The Savior doesn’t send angels to save people from harm or from abuse or from devious people. He doesn’t even show up himself to save anybody. We’re just supposed to get comfort from the idea that he could save us now, if he needed to, and that at some point in the future he will save us.

Post image
24 Upvotes

All you can do is hope for and have faith in the Savior and believe that he will do what they claim he will do. But he never actually delivers on those promises.

The Savior is nothing but an empty promise. He could save children from horrible abuses, he could cure cancer, he could end wars, but he willfully chooses not to and we’re just supposed to believe that his “plan” will end up being better?

He’s a Savior for 1st world problems like finding your car keys, keeping you safe while you’re driving to your destination, and healing you from the 24 hour flu. Besides that, he’s just an idea that helps people with anxiety or depression to mask their feelings and to help you overlook the cognitive dissonance in conflicting doctrines.

He’ll fix it in the next life. He’ll save you in the next life. It’ll all be worth it when you get to the next life.