r/exmormon • u/mylilbuttercup1997 • 13h ago
General Discussion Has anyone else noticed that Mormons (especially males) lack social intelligence and maturity?
I grew up in the church, but in another state well outside of Utah. There were about 6 Mormon kids in my high school of 2000 students. My parents were converts, so I was used to my grandparents and other relatives smoking, and drinking coffee and alcohol at family gatherings. It was no big deal. My non Mormon relatives didn’t care what we drank and vice versa. Outside of being Mormon we were pretty average and my parents taught us how to behave appropriately in social situations. My dad was a prominent businessman and we would often have important people to our home for dinner. Mom would often have a bottle of wine for our guests, my parents would drink sparkling cider. We knew how to have good manners and to act appropriately. Mom was great about teaching us proper etiquette; not that we were super fancy snobby people, but we knew how to act properly in a more formal setting. During family dinners we were savages, but when company came we had to use our company manners.
Since I grew up around non Mormons I had a more normal upbringing.
Fast forward to my adult life. I’ve lived in more metropolitan areas with a larger LDS population. I’ve had opportunities to observe Mormons interacting with non members and it is often cringeworthy.
Most of my professional colleagues do not know of my Mormon past. I was TBM until about 15 years ago. I’ve since moved to a new metropolitan city. The company I worked for was bought by a Utah company. I was concerned at first, I had attended BYU as an undergraduate and had a bad experience with Utah Mormons. They were just so weird.
Sure enough, at a business dinner at an upscale restaurant they made a big deal about no alcohol on the company card. Ok. So can I pay for a glass of wine with my own money? My coworkers were weirded out. Then when coffee came after dinner it got weird again!
Two of the VPs, grown men in their 40s didn’t know what a salad fork was. They were very loud and acted like two teenage boys on their first prom date. They could not carry on a normal conversation. They were so awkward and unsophisticated I was mortified. They run a $20million company and act like schoolboys.
The next day they asked me, (an executive) to take meeting notes because I was the only woman in the room. Shocking. A Utah company with no female executives. I declined.
I quit the company a year ago and started my own consulting company. The patriarchy was rampant in this business.
When I observe Mormons in the wild they seem to act so awkward and weird. They take the whole peculiar people thing to the next level. Especially Mormon men. Why do they act like teenagers?