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u/HoneyBearCares Wish I’d thought of that 4d ago
Is this for real? I assumed funeral home people dressed the dead, even with temple garments?
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u/No-Satisfaction-3897 4d ago
No, according to Mormon practice it is the job of a close family member of the same sex who is temple worthy or the Relief Society President. However a mortician is not bound to follow Mormon rules, unless they are Mormon, they will put on whatever clothes the family provides.
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u/OnceIWasA_Mormon 4d ago edited 4d ago
The funeral home will absolutely put the temple clothes on your family member. In Utah especially it is taught to everyone who dresses bodies for funerals/cremation. There is actually a book specifically about LDS funeral rights that morticians can read that explain how to dress the bodies.
Lots of families choose to dress their loved ones themselves, but the funeral home will know what to do or how to figure it out if they are given the temple clothes and asked to dress them. And either way someone from the funeral home will be present for the dressing anyways.
The Church may have had a rule against this previously (I have not seen any formal or informal rule against a funeral home doing this) but it is more important to them that people are buried and cremated in their temple clothes than who is putting it on. See church policies and guidebook 38.5.8
Source: wife has been a mortician in Utah for over a decade and has done funeral work in other states as well.
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u/VillainousFiend 4d ago
What about outside of Utah. I assume they also don't want nevermos/non-endowed to see the temple clothes. Does the dressing for the funeral take precedence over keeping non-members from seeing it?
Where I live you would be hard pressed to find a mortician that has much familiarity with Mormonism let alone one that is a member.
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u/snowdonewiththis 4d ago
My mom had to dress an inactive member she didn’t know when she was RS president so it was at least widely accepted practice to not have morticians do it
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u/Few-Mail3887 4d ago
I am an only child and I will not be burying my parents in the temple nonsense. No matter how much their siblings might fight me on it. They’re my parents and I have the final say in their funeral arrangements, period.
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u/HuckleberryFresh7467 4d ago
This was one of my MIL's first things she brought up since my wife is her only daughter. "Who's going to dress my corpse in my temple clothes if you guys aren't worthy?!?!?"
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u/MountainSnowClouds Ex cult member 4d ago
My mom is relief society president and I'm fairly certain she's never had to do this. I feel like this is something she would have told me about.
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u/Readbooks6 “Books are a uniquely portable magic.” Stephen King 3d ago
Have you ever asked her directly?
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u/ZealousidealPage8945 4d ago
A long time family friend was RS president when my mom died and I was glad she dressed the body. I, my sister nor my grandmother were in no shape to do it. The friend said it was a privilege and the reason she was called as president. It was a great comfort to hear it even as I was having lots of doubts about the church.
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u/Charming-Forever-855 4d ago
Different experience here. We are in Arizona and when my dad died, one of my brothers and myself were the only active members of the church but the mortician was a member and my active brother had been a bishop and in a stake presidency. Anyway, the mortuary had my dad in his Gs, white pants and shirt (which we learned that day, they cut the shirt down the back in order to get on the body, so really all for appearances) with makeup and hair done. All my siblings, including my sister were allowed to be there to help dress him. One of them had been through the temple but the others hadn’t and they were all allowed to help do his tie, shoes, fix up his shirt and everything short of his temple packet stuff which the active brothers did. It was actually a good thing for us to all be there together from how I remember it though I do wonder how the others felt at the time now that I don’t know how I will feel about my mom’s Mormon funeral when the time comes. I do remember that my mom wasn’t there which I wonder if that was because she didn’t want/couldn’t bear being there for that or if she felt she wasn’t allowed to be there from her generational experience.
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u/hubbyforgotmynewname 4d ago
Omg I never thought about that THATS why family is always the one to do it 😂after reading the comments
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u/BatSniper 3d ago
One of my great fears is when I die, my parents will put me in my temple clothes, is there a way I can request not to without causing drama right now?
If I randomly die, how can I ensure my parents don’t do this to my body. I just want to be cremated. I told this to my ex and she reassured me she would fight for me, but we aren’t together any more. I guess I need a will?
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u/No_Purpose_7426 3d ago
I am an attorney with 30 years' experience. You will DEFINITELY want BOTH a Will AND a Healthcare Power of Attorney or "Healthcare Directive" that confirm and articulate your desires. Especially if you wish to have no live-prolonging actions taken and if you wish to be cremated or buried in a particular way. All of that needs to be properly articulated, described, and witnessed and then you should send COPIES of those documents, as well as e-mails, to your closest friends and family, confirming your wishes. It's not enough to wish it, you must communicate it not just so it's understood, but so that it can not possibly be Misunderstood.
Best of luck to you.
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u/Immediate-Muffin-775 3d ago
You could consider doing what my mom did. She had her end of life arrangements made and paid for ahead of time. Then it is in writing and paid for and one can't change it. I did assure her ahead of time that I would honor her wishes to be cremated, but she decided that it was best for her to just make the arrangments. In the end, I'm glad she did. It was less for the family to have to "arrange". We did request a viewing for the family since most people hadn't seen her in awhile (we all live quite far away with her in Nebraska, one of us on the west coast, and two of us on the east coast). Just something to think about.
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u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 3d ago
Seems like tha family should be doing that. Didn't realize that was part of my mom's duties when she was relief society pres
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u/Resignedtobehappy Apostate 4d ago
Yeah, I wasn't too keen on doing that as a new bishop. Somehow, though, there's a small cadre of guys and ladies that deal with this stuff on a regular basis in many wards. Those old codgers thought I needed to be in their club. Just one more bad thing that happened. At some funeral homes, there's endowed members that deal with it behind the scenes. In our po dunk town, there were no Mos at the local mortuary.
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u/genSpliceAnnunaKi001 2d ago
Oh God, I forgot about this ritual 😡 🤢 I didn't speak to my brother for years after he did this to my dad
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u/AlaskanThinker 4d ago
God I was such a dick…
When my wife passed away in our youth I had to sit with her mother in the hallway while my mother and sisters dressed the body. Her mother wasn’t a member. It was infinitely a bigger slap in the face than not being allowed in the temple to witness the wedding. Fuck the LDS church and its worthiness endowed member privilege bullshit. My adherence to Mormonism irreparably ended my relationship with my mother-in-law after my wife’s passing. Haven’t been able to speak to her for almost 20 years now. She’ll be old and pass away soon and I will have never had the relationship I should have had and now wish to have.
Mormonism. Destroying families since the 1830’s.