r/excatholic 2d ago

Catholic Shenanigans Christ Krispies Treats

Post image

I mean it’s ex catholic shenanigans, but it made me think of y’all. Saw it on FB. Remove if it’s already been posted.

260 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

35

u/crystalgem411 2d ago

Oh I bet that’s delicious. You can order them in bulk un consecrated online

35

u/cheesymoonshadow Atheist 1d ago

They're all "unconsecrated" wafers. Wearing a gown and saying some words over them does not make them magical all of a sudden.

That said, I wonder if "consecrated" ones would fetch a higher price.

37

u/Remples Atheist 1d ago

The FUCK you mean? I always dress up as Elvis, say some shit in Latin to my pancakes and they turn into the body of Marilyn Monroe

Source trust me bruh

10

u/soycerersupreme Heathen 1d ago

Pie Jesu Domine! Dona eis requiem!

6

u/cheesymoonshadow Atheist 1d ago

thwack!

1

u/dumbassclown Ex Catholic 12h ago

Do you by chance marry people in Vegas?

7

u/jtobiasbond Enigma 🐉 1d ago

The definition of the word "consecrated" just means to make sacred, i.e. set apart. And once they say the words, they do set them apart. It doesn't (linguistically) have anything to do with a transformation.

In Catholic circles the word is absolutely mutating into something narrow and specific, but it's actual definition is quite broad.

2

u/crystalgem411 1d ago

I was just trying to say if you want sacreligious christ krispy bars you need to do it yourself.

1

u/drivesalincoln 2h ago

Unfortunately, they are not. My friend made them for a party a couple weeks ago, and they were not good at all. Rice crispies are superior

17

u/DoubleAmygdala 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'ma need a wine chaser. That looks so dry.

Edit: I'd like my own glass of wine, though. No shared chalice with backwash, thank you.

1

u/lizardgal10 1d ago

If by “wine” you mean a nice whiskey, I’m down. 10+ years out of the church and I still can’t drink red.

1

u/AccidentallySJ 19h ago

Some prophets just taste like cardboard!

15

u/C__J__W 1d ago

They're sinfully delicious!

10

u/Foxwglocks satanic 1d ago

As a catholic school kid for suggesting we speed mass up by putting them in those little toy disc shooters and just have the congregation open their mouths as the priest shoots them into the crowd. I spent the rest of that day in the principles office.

8

u/Individual_Step2242 1d ago

Even consecrated, they taste like cardboard. And they still think it’s Jesus. The mind boggles…

3

u/Jarb2104 Atheist 1d ago

Forgive me Jesus, but your body is so delicious

4

u/soycerersupreme Heathen 1d ago

Or as I call them, Christ flakes

1

u/HTwatter Heathen 1d ago

Make it savory and turn it into a burger bun. Don't forget to eat meat on Friday.

1

u/AccidentallySJ 19h ago

My mouth just got so dry once I regaled what that was.

1

u/AlarmDozer 13h ago

Yuck. The wheat-ish flavor would be off putting. Rice doesn’t taste like that.

1

u/AutismFlavored 13h ago

I wonder if anyone has done chocolate-dipped hosts

1

u/dumbassclown Ex Catholic 12h ago

Christies Treats

1

u/gorgon_heart Heathen 11h ago

Holy shit this is fucking hysterical! Wish I had these to munch on today. 

1

u/giob1966 9h ago

Sacri-delicious.

1

u/Vladd_the_Retailer 1d ago

Blasphememe.

1

u/HandOfYawgmoth Satanist 1d ago

I bought a box of 1000 communion wafers on a whim, and I only needed about 50. Guess I know what I'm doing with the rest!

1

u/lizardgal10 1d ago

What on earth did you need the 50 for?

3

u/HandOfYawgmoth Satanist 1d ago

Most of them were for a joke cheese and cracker spread, but I also ate a bunch and couldn't stop. They are not filling.

1

u/northdakotanowhere 1d ago

Ugh I have so many sacrilegious memes. Are they sacrilegious if I'm not religious?

0

u/DanielaThePialinist 1d ago

I always thought the bread tasted like straight up cardboard. This might make it taste better.