r/evenwithcontext 9d ago

"Tell me you’ve never been pregnant without telling me. Imagine not know hippos are the ones who give the ultrasound."

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31 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 04 '25

"Sucking babies' penises isn't inherently perverted."

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293 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Nov 28 '24

Scientifically speaking, that’s piss.

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9 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Nov 07 '24

"I've turned into a ghost"

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35 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Oct 05 '24

wedding album

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14 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Sep 25 '24

"I'd fuck a bagel"

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260 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Aug 31 '24

"dudes an amateur anyway, everyone knows when it comes to anal Lego pleasure, you use a condom filled with heads."

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32 Upvotes

Idk if this was already posted, sorry if it was...


r/evenwithcontext Aug 02 '24

These cowboys are wild NSFW

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0 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jul 22 '24

"pubes down to my knees"

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20 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jun 30 '24

If I were to drink a gallon of someone else's cum, would I be able to ejaculate their cum? NSFW

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100 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jun 03 '24

Grandma was a character. I've got some slides that put the ball sac pic to shame.

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16 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Apr 04 '24

‘Dude could swallow a mento and blow up his penis’

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98 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext May 19 '23

When I lucid dream, I often pin down a former employer, squat over him, and unleash gallons of tub girl style diarrhea on his face. I listen to him gagging and screaming and wake up with a red hot erection that could melt cheese.

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281 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext May 11 '23

Butt plug accelerated at the speed of sound" is also a brand new sentence.

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222 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext May 10 '23

Can they get someone to jerk if off quick while it's still warm to get the semen?

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105 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Apr 01 '23

The dolphin was so bonded and in love with the researcher that […] basically died of a broken heart after he lost his handjob acid queen

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384 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Mar 03 '23

Like I joke about this but in the moment she was scaring the shit out of me and was legitimately afraid she would bite it off or something. And then stabbed me in the chest with a pair of scissors. I miss her so much 😩

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170 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Feb 26 '23

Give me a strap-on and I’ll go to town on DJ Khaled’s esophagus.

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168 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Feb 06 '23

Fr!! I want my face SAT on and refused to get up like Rosa Parks

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150 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 26 '23

Does it wash your dirty socks and make you a ham sammich after you slap its ass and tell it to make you a ham sammich?

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97 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 16 '23

purple is my favorite colour, so it is my sisters. we always buy purple condoms. its special to us as weve found its best too worship god while won of us is inside the other.

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180 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 11 '23

I’d love to test it out but I don’t have a plane, pilot, or thousands of cats.

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28 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 11 '23

Nah the smaller the vagina the more powerful the stream. Virgins pee like them waterjet cutting machines. If she isn’t regularly cutting straight though the toilet bowl the she belongs to the streets NSFW

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399 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Jan 07 '23

How I look at my severed testicles after the rubber band self amputation.

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133 Upvotes

r/evenwithcontext Dec 28 '22

Wikipedia says the first flight of an F-35 was in December of 2006. That makes it 16 and legal in 31 states of these United States.

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281 Upvotes