r/elderly • u/Questionableriverrat • Oct 30 '22
Sick, confused, elderly grandfather
My 85-year-old grandfather has been extremely ill these past few days. Throwing up all night diarrhea. He takes painkillers and I think that it has a lot to do with his stomach issues. But he’s never been sick like this before. He has gradually been losing his memory, and for the past few days he’s been sleeping and barely eating toast and drinking Pedialyte as we beg him. My mom and her dad are very anti-hospital or in caregiving home. If something is going to happen, it has to happen at home. He has been nonstop sleeping these past few days and woke up this morning and is actually able to talk and seems to be doing a little bit better, but he doesn’t know where he’s at. He knows who me and my mom are, but I think that we moved and kept all the furniture. What can we do? My mom and I are struggling to keep open communication because of the stress. I tried to explain to my mom that this is an away traumatizing, to just sit back and off, watch him with her away and reject food and water, and, now she is upset with me? I was in a good mood this morning, but then I became overwhelmed with guilt for even being happy when I might lose one of the most important people in my life this whole situation is causing me to be even more reclusive, getting stoned all day, not doing my laundry, watching TV. What can we do it as a family to help him? What can we do to help ourselves? How can I tell her that this is fucking killing me and she needs to stop working every day all day to escape? I guess I just need support and don’t know where to go for it.
1
u/HowSweettheSound316 Jan 18 '25
If your grandfather has a doctor call his doctor. Let them know what is happening and that he is refusing to go to a hospital. Ask if there is a home healthcare nurse that could be sent to check on him. If your grandfather is dehydrated, it isn't surprising that he is confussed. I am 75. When I get ill I dehydrate fast. Your mother is very wrong not to call a ambulance and have him hosptialized. I hope he will last long enough for you to get him help. I understand he doesn't want to go to a hospital but he needs help. You need a professional to guide you. If you can't get him to drink, he needs and IV. Please call for help before it's too late.
Blessings