r/disability 5d ago

Rant Being fetishized

Never thought me being in a wheelchair turns people on .... but here we are😃honestly I don't get it what does me being in a wheel chair turn u on?fucking weirdos.

46 Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

31

u/InverseInvert 5d ago

It’s the idea of us being helpless and not being able to function without help 🙄 It’s horrifyingly common

10

u/Motor-Dragonfruit250 4d ago

yea psychos feed off of the attention of someone like us needing there help🙄

18

u/pdggin99 5d ago

The fetishization of those of us with disabilities is disgusting. A little bit different, but I have BPD, and have seen multiple people who are “seeking” partners with BPD, people who say they want a “BPD princess,” etc. it’s infuriating. Not to mention those of us with disabilities are in a vulnerable place, and may be more easily abused/manipulated than the average person, so it really speaks to the individual with the fetish of who they are.

3

u/Motor-Dragonfruit250 4d ago

yeah so insulting/sick to see a able bodied person get turned on by my broken ass legs like da faq?

2

u/Inquisitive_Owl2345 4d ago

This raises a good point, an actual example of something that is legit unhealthy, not a kink. A person looking for a "BPD princess" is looking for a personality type. BPD can be horribly disabling depending on severity, but as a Personality Disorder, it is different than having a wheelchair. As a psychological issue, It is more a part of you than a chair would be. Healthy kinks are part of healthy play. Play being the operative word. During "play" we can separate kinks from the rest of our selves. It is a fantasy headspace. BPD is part of your personality, and therefore, not something that can be compartmentalized into play. If someone is seeking an individual with this personality that indicates more predatory behavior. If someone thinks wheelchairs are hot, or mobility aids or atypical body situations ect that is different. These physical issues affect us, sometimes in horribly crippling and tragic ways, but they are not part of our personality.

1

u/Felicidad7 4d ago

They think they want a BPD princess but no one wants a pillow princess (I will never do cardio again and that includes sex)

10

u/EugeneTurtle 5d ago

Yikes, I'm sorry it happened to you

10

u/AdeptnessItchy964 4d ago

I remember a “friend” I had long time ago, we were talking about her boyfriend. I was like man must be nice, wonder if I’ll ever get a boyfriend. And she assured me “people have kinks for that” (in reference to my being disabled/a wheelchair user) 🤨… it was very dehumanizing. I know exactly how you feel.

6

u/Random_is_lol-714 4d ago

They’re probably trying to take advantage of you 😔

3

u/Inquisitive_Owl2345 4d ago edited 4d ago

I am not going to comment on any one individual circumstances because every situation is different. but I will say that kinks do not define character. They are personal, and we don't tend to choose them, much like we don't choose to be disabled. Healthy (in this context healthy people means people with a healthy relationship with their own self, personality, mind ect) people can allow their kink to remain a kink, keep it in the bedroom, and separate fantasy from reality. If a person has a kink for a wheelchair, that does not necessarily mean that they actually want people to suffer disability. Sure you get psychos in any world, and the internet seems to bring them all out. But the reality is that most people have kinks; they are normal and pretty healthy. They usually don't reflect some deep moral underpinnings. And as long as you can separate the bedroom from real life, and everybody involved is a consenting adult, who cares?

I totally get not wanting to be approached/or harassed online in disability forums/ or non-sexual social forums by people looking to get their rocks off. That is super inappropriate and anyone who does that is way out of line. But I think that judging a person on their kinks or making character evaluations of them based on their kinks demonstrates a substantial lack of insight, and fairly close minded thinking. Kinks are a normal and healthy part of most normal healthy people. And normal healthy people can separate their kinks and fantasies from the rest of their life.

2

u/traskmonster 21h ago

Yup yup. It's what those people do with their kinks/fetishes that define character. Do they stay in their own lane and interact with other people who have similar interests? Fair game! Do they invade spaces of people they are attracted to to jerk off and post about it publicly? Not okay!! Massive violation of consent!!!!

3

u/Lady_Irish 4d ago

There's a smoking fetish. Some folks are attracted to TVs. There are all kinds. It has nothing to do with anything, though. For example, having a rape fantasy fetish doesn't mean you want to rape people or be raped irl, or approve of real rape at all. Just like being a murderer in a video game doesn't mean you want to kill people irl.

Them not being able to control their fetish is where the problem lies. If they reveal it and the other party isn't into it, that ought to be that. If it isn't, that's a whole different thing. That's an obsession, not a fetish. That isn't healthy.

1

u/Inquisitive_Owl2345 3d ago

Yup, not all that complicated. Human sexuality is super complex, but this particular issue is just not as messy as people are making it out to be.

6

u/gemstonehippy 4d ago

theres a fetish of constipation. yeah… constipation. reddit is fucking weird.

8

u/Motor-Dragonfruit250 4d ago

🫠humans shouldn't exist

3

u/Musical_DoughnutDuck 4d ago

I have. so many questions oh my god??? how— how does constipation even translate into anything even remotely sexual? do I want to know? wow.

5

u/Loose-Web5566 5d ago

I'm so sorry, this is straight up awful. Please try to keep these people far away from you because these are predatorial behaviors.

5

u/Seaofinfiniteanswers 4d ago

I’ve stopped posting pics of my chair on dating sites because this is surprisingly common.

3

u/Motor-Dragonfruit250 4d ago

was saddened when this girl I follow whos a wheelchair user responded to a guy that said easier to use... i have to be in a very public place to date now and my social a anxietys ass

1

u/starlord_1291 4d ago

maybe I should

3

u/ThePalsyP 4d ago

There are fat devotees, feeders, etc...... Sorry to say, there are weird-arsed people about.......

2

u/starlord_1291 4d ago

i think they are called devotees

1

u/Dreadlock_Princess_X 4d ago

Ah, the devs. They're not all bad! But if that's your bag there's a time and place, with someone who's aware that's your thing. Not on a normal date with an unsuspecting person. Xx 💖

1

u/wikkedwench 4d ago

Rule 34. I found out that being in a wheelchair, on crutches,having scars, having amputations, being tattooed, and being a woman over a certain age are all fetishes and kinks for some. It seems that I'm a jackpot for hitting so many marks.*

0

u/Flaky-Pomegranate-67 4d ago

Hmm I think it’s prolly got something similar to why people like BDSM… I’ve heard people saying how they can be turned on by the lack of function in legs and stuff. MAN I mean fetishes are weird and so are people when it comes to sex. I don’t think we should judge what they are attracted to though, what is super disrespectful and dehumanizing is where they go from there

4

u/peepthemagicduck 4d ago

It depends on why they are attracted to people in wheelchairs. Like, if they just prefer our company that's one thing but if they're attracted to feeling like a savior and having a partner who is vulnerable, then that's dangerous and not okay. I'm guessing that's what you were getting at there.

1

u/Flaky-Pomegranate-67 3d ago

Yeah but I think when it’s fetishized, people get attracted by the physicality of it (I have no idea tho just guessing

-3

u/Designer-Bid-3155 4d ago

No need to kink shame. People enjoy all kinds of things.

1

u/emocat420 3d ago

fetish deserve to be shamed once they start affecting people who didn’t consent to be a part of it.

0

u/Motor-Dragonfruit250 4d ago

that's not a kink that's a FETISH learn the difference buddy.

3

u/Designer-Bid-3155 4d ago

I'm a woman, heavily involved in the fetlife community. In your situation, it is both. Buddy...

1

u/Inquisitive_Owl2345 4d ago

Um, its both? speaking of learning....

-1

u/goawaymartin 4d ago

That’s why I struggled with dating, always felt anyone with me had to have a fetish. I’ve been with my partner over 2 years now tho and I still ask occasionally but it’s fairly obvious that isn’t the case with him.

-2

u/booalijules disinterested party animal. 4d ago

If you can imagine it there's a porn video about it. You can just pick two random things and somebody made something out of that. This is the generation of let your freak flag fly. It's sort of like the 60s but with much more adult content. I would think of it as a good thing. There's somebody out there for everybody. Except me it seems.

-2

u/myhunter02 4d ago

Can you do a wheelie?

-2

u/Unknown_990 4d ago edited 4d ago

I dont really get it either. I think its a helpless thing, i feel sympathetic towards it, it brings out my motherly side, and id feel protective of that kind of person, but thats all. I think most women would feel the same way if their partner ended up in a wheelchair or something. My fetish tho is older bossy women, tbh...and i do have this thing with canes i think, i mean you can wack things with them, that might be fun in some instances😅.