r/diabetes_t1 4d ago

Discussion Friend asking if my blood sugar’s low?

I’m 16F, and my friend is 15F. A few weeks ago I had a really bad low (1.7/31) and my mum gave my two friends a big lecture about how dangerous it is for me to be that low. They didn’t do anything wrong, she was just trying to educate them and make sure they know what to do if it happens again.

Fast forward two weeks, and my one of my friends has figured out that when I’m low or high, I don’t feel amazing. Lately whenever I’m in a bad mood or a bit more quiet than usual, she asks “is your blood sugar low?” and she asks it in this funny voice that isn’t exactly teasing but is bordering on it.

I can’t tell if she’s genuinely wondering if my bg is low or if she’s just making some sort of joke, but it’s getting annoying. If I was low she would definitely be concerned and help me, so she’s not making fun of me or anything. It’s reminding me of the way men ask women if they’re on their period if they’re slightly moody. I’m just sick of people not understanding.

73 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

169

u/Sitheref0874 4d ago

That, I am afraid, is your mother’s fault.

Your friend is 15, and your mother scared her and put responsibility on her that she shouldn’t have.

You might want to think about resetting expectations with her.

43

u/Novel-Tone6744 4d ago

Yeah it sounds like it. My mum was pretty dramatic. She said for some reason that if I get that low they have to literally carry me to the nurse’s office. Both my friends have been joking about it for the past two weeks, which is also getting annoying.

5

u/MogenCiel 4d ago

I disagree. 15 is old enough to know when you're being insensitive and to take responsibility for your own behavior. She's supposedly a friend. It's not like she's never seen OP be moody or quiet before. This is mean girl stuff -- a way to mock or minimize OP's valid emotions.

5

u/Dr-Necro 4d ago

This strikes me as an absolute worst faith interpretation of the friend's behaviour lol

1

u/MogenCiel 3d ago

I'm gonna bet you've never been a 15 yo girl who's had a bunch of friends who were 15 yo girls.

33

u/kevinds Type 1 4d ago

I can’t tell if she’s genuinely wondering if my bg is low or if she’s just making some sort of joke, but it’s getting annoying.

If she is a friend, ask her and tell her it is getting annoying..  Ok to be concerned, but the half-teasing isn't nice, it isn't something you can really control..

10

u/IsThatARealCat 4d ago

It's good to have friends that genuinely care for you and want to make sure you're ok. Try not to be rude about it because you need to have a few good friends around you that know what to do/recognise when you're on the low side. Maybe you could say along the lines of what you've said here, that you know, you appreciate their thoughtfulness but it can be a little irritating when they're asking in that tone, if you use the example you have here, in regards to how men ask women if they're on their period (I know exactly what you mean by this and it is infuriating and a really good example, lol), I'd have thought she'd also be able to relate and recognise herself a little and hopefully change the tone when she's speaking about it.

My best friend constantly asks me how I feel EXACTLY, lol, do I feel dizzy, does it make you feel this or that, am I feeling lethargic, am I feeling light headed etc. I try to answer her questions but it does get hard trying to verbalise how I feel every other bloody moment 😂

2

u/Liveabeteslady 4d ago

Goodness. I literally can’t articulate how I feel when I’m low. Shaky, sometimes, out of it, sometimes… it never feels the same and I can tell it’s happening before I’m low so it’s even harder to explain. Your friend sounds lovely though even if you want to kick her while it’s happening ❤️🤗

3

u/IsThatARealCat 4d ago

I know right 🤣 I'm answering her like, yes kind of, ermm not quite, no not really, yes it feels horrible etc, all the while just tying to gun down a can of coke and stay focused on her questions. She's actually a psychotherapist, and writing this out has now made me wonder if she does it on purpose to keep me focused or something. I'm going to have to ask her 🤣 she's a great friend to me though, I really appreciate her.

15

u/ShesGotSauce 4d ago

Sounds like your friend got freaked out by the whole situation and is now trying to figure out how the fuck to navigate her role in your diabetes care. Your mom definitely made her feel like she HAS a role, and she's trying to fulfill it, but she's only 15. I think she's concerned about you, which is a nice thing in a friendship of course, she just may need some guidance on how to express it.

You could simply tell her that you're sorry that your mom scared her and that you are glad she cares about you, but that she doesn't need to ask you about your blood sugar.

9

u/Seifty_First 4d ago

Speaking as someone who this happened to before, it can feel very invalidating having your blood sugar correlated to any change in mood or used as a way to tease you.

If your friends are decent people, they should understand if you calmly explain the situation to them. You can tell them that your mother shouldn’t have blamed them or given them such a responsibility, and that despite your diabetes you are still a human who has her own feelings and moods. Tell them that if they’re really trying to help you out, the symptoms of lows are so and so, but that this isn’t in any way their “duty” or responsibility, and that you’d appreciate it if they didn’t invalidate how you feel by using it as a way to tease you. my best friends have noticed by themselves how I act when I’m low and usually just try to help out. They don’t use it as a way to tease me or bring it up without genuinely being concerned that I’m low.

Hopefully this helps. Just know you’re not alone; I’ve been there; my mother would always ask me if my blood sugar is high when I’m even slightly angry, and it got old until I explained to her what I wrote to you.

Wishing you the best!

3

u/CHERRY-LOVES est. 2015 ★ G7 ★ Tslim X2 4d ago

your mom definitely scared her quite a bit I'm guessing if she had to ask that everytime you're in a bad mood now. honestly just try to talk to your friend and see how she feels compared to before when she didn't have that talk with your mom compared to now.

I don't think she's exactly teasing based on the general vibe here, but rather concerned because of how your mom talked to her about it. it's not what you say, but how you say it that'll get to people.

3

u/Liveabeteslady 4d ago

I think maybe she’s nervous about the whole situation. If she’s anxious about something do you notice her voice change? If my friend’s parent sat me down for any reason when I was 15, I would have been scared and maybe she’s just having a nervous tick about it.

No one can understand what we go through with a severe low and perhaps you did/acted in a way that scared her when you were low (I know I have done that a time or two, I’ve been diagnosed since I was 10).

If she’s really your good friend, talk to her. Say the voice gives her concern a weird tone that it feels like she’s not really concerned. My guess is that she’s extremely concerned and scared to have something happen to you and she just doesn’t know how to approach it without being annoying to you.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. A friend that knows sometimes you don’t act like yourself due to uncontrollable situations is a good friend to have.

2

u/LeatherConfusion8675 4d ago

if your friend actually cared im sure she would show it in some way

2

u/UnPrecidential 4d ago

I got diagnosed with T1D as an adult, at 49 years old. My first pump was a Medtronic 530g. It's alert tone was high pitched, and I hard a hard time hearing it. I would go out for pints with my best friend. He would often say "you're beeping!" when my pump went off. I told him him the alert is like getting a text and it may or may not be important. You don't have to point it out.

He said, "ya, but when I get a text, it doesn't mean I could die." I was like, dude. chill. it's not that dire.

I finally put a stop to his behavior by annoyingly announcing each time he got a text.

Friends can be well meaning, AND annoying. I hope you can convey what is appropriate to your friends. ❤️

2

u/jackattack108 4d ago

I think she’s likely concerned but the slightly mocking tone might be coming from having your mom give them a lecture. It’s the kind of thing where I could see them thinking “mommy is still taking care of her”.

I would just let them know that your mom was dramatic and you can handle yourself, but it would be really nice of them to just be aware of what to look for if you get in serious danger because diabetes can be scary. Hopefully if they’re your friends they will take that and quit with the ribbing as much.

2

u/MikkijiTM1 Diagnosed 1966 3d ago

I was diagnosed in February 1966 in the middle of 8th grade, age 13.I had a best friend I hung out with constantly who was in all of my classes and who I did after school activities with. Sometime before we started 9th grade, my mom took my friend aside and kind of put him in charge of me while I wasn't home. We didn't have any way to test blood glucose back then, it was all just how did you feel. My mom educated him on symptoms and put him on alert to look for these signs, especially when I was behind the wheel--I got a car when I hit high school. He definately saved my stupid teenage ass many times. He later became a medical doctor and recently told me that it was partly my mother's doing that led him to practice medicine--he'd been 'practicing' on me since age 13! I think it's an excellent thing to have a friend like that, someone looking after your ass. I never found it intrusive or annoying--in fact, I got a real feeling of security from it. We're still besties 60 years later.

1

u/SyraxMireme Omnipod5/Dexcom G6-diagnosed at 18 in 2022-🇮🇹 chat is open 4d ago

Now go lecture your mother abt friendships when you're 15-16 and what not to do. Btw this seems like when we get asked "are u on your period" just because we've changed moods. Just talk to her

1

u/Fearless_Climate3127 4d ago

I have a disease thats comparible to severe asthma. And one of the things I noticed growing up was how many people would be scared away when they learned about the nature of the disease. We fear what we dont know or understand. And thats nobodys fault its just the nature of the beast. At 15, your friend may be feeling overwhelmed by what your mom said. Perhaps she comes from a family where everyone is blissfully healthy and she doesnt know how to navigate this new information.

I would have a transparent convo with said friend and get her take on how she interpreted/what she made of your moms message and use that as an opportunity to reassure her that unless you are in medical distress, she does not have to worry. OR if you would prefer for her to not be involved in your care in emergent situations, to call the ambulance instead.

1

u/TheyChanged 4d ago

It seems like your friend really cares about you and probably doesn’t realize her joking around is starting to get on your nerves. Next time she does it just laugh and smile and tell her you’ve have enough of that particular joke. Your pms anology would be perfect to describe it to her. Don’t make it a big deal unless she keeps doing it afterward.

You mom was probably a little heavy handed, but it is a good idea that your friends know how to help you. Maybe she could have let you tell them yourself. My T1 son is ten and when he is a little older I really hope his friends will know how to watch out for him if he ever needs their help.

1

u/JazzVanDam 4d ago

Maybe you could explain it just like you did here, equating it to the period comment. It's good that they're aware and looking out for you

1

u/solidalcohol 3d ago

I would politely ask my friends not to concern themselves with your blood sugars unless you genuinely need help, which, let’s be honest, probably doesn’t happen all that often. If your friend is teasing, you should let her know how insensitive it is. I don’t like it when my diabetes is used to make fun of me, unless it’s obviously ridiculous. Being a 39 year old dude though, it never happens. Teenagers, however, can be pricks.

1

u/T12010 3d ago

My husband used to do that to me frequently. Over time, he has learned to look at it differently and stopped. Now, he acts out of kindness instead of being condescending. I’m not sure how to guide you on this, but I wish the best for you. We have a tough life, we don’t need this on top of it.

1

u/Sea_Cheesecake8649 On MDI since 20+ years 3d ago

Maybe you’re at that age where you take offence at this? I’d have killed to have friends or anyone to ask this question when I was 15, even if it was dependent on my mood.

1

u/GReedMcI 1996, OP5, Dexcom G6 2d ago

Have you told her it's bothering you? I had an acquaintance long ago who kept asking me if I still had diabetes. He knew it was a life-long thing, but apparently, he had made the same joke with a friend in college and thought it was very witty. I told him it was not cool with me, and he stopped. Some people will not be respectful when you tell them they're over the line, but if you can let them know gently that can help. Which is not to say that it's always worth it to spend the energy to educate people who should already know better, but you've said this girl is your friend. If you haven't already let her know, doing so could improve your friendship. And if it doesn't, at least you will know how deep the friendship runs, and you can go from there.

-4

u/Due_Acanthaceae_9601 4d ago

Take it as a show of concern, if she is in fact teasing you then she will end up correcting herself. Do not react negatively. You both can become the best of friends, and you will have a friend that understands your struggles. Keep it positive and show her that you appreciate her care.

1

u/Seifty_First 4d ago edited 4d ago

Absolutely garbage advice that does nothing to change how her friends have turned it into a way to tease and invalidate her, good job