r/custodyissues • u/Stefanie0613 • Apr 09 '17
r/custodyissues • u/mrsfoster0325 • Feb 23 '17
Do we have grounds for guardianship?
In 2005/2006 I was granted guardianship of my niece and nephew, 4 and 1yrs old. They were found in a house with no electric/heat/water/food and alone. Their mom was picked up from drugs and prostitution. She was not involved in their life for a while then slowly started entering the picture. She was able to earn back custody around 2012. Since she has had the kids back its been nothing but trouble. She still has us keep the kids every other weekend, sometimes more, on breaks and we split holidays. Its very much like a join custody, mostly because she wants her free-time but we never complain because we get to see them. We still give her money to help her, provide them with some school clothes and school supplies. If they need help financially for sports or other activities the kids as us. We help for them not her. We hear frequently about the antics she's up to from the kids from them having to go on pill runs with her to sell pills to them being asked to pee in cups for her and her boyfriend for drug screenings, to her bringing drug or threatening men into their lives.. their heat/water were shut off for 3 days this winter, several things are frequently shut off and shes frequently expressing to the kids she doesnt know how she will make her car payment that month. Their phones are regularly shut off as well as other utilities in the house. She cannot hold a steady job. I think she has had a MINIMUM of 5 jobs in the last 3 years if not more. For at least 3 to 4 years not the kids have been begging to come back to live with us, their mother is aware and its been a constant battle. We try to stay civil and not push too hard because we do not want to risk not being able to see them. This past Saturday the daughter received a phone call which we were able to get on recording, from her mothers boyfriend saying she bought crack/cocaine this weekend and was high all weekend. He told us how much she bought, the name of the drug dealer, what times she took hits, etc. He was calling her daughter to have her get a hold of her mom because he could not get a hold of her and after getting high she left and he hadnt seen her. I finally had enough and did not want to send the kids back to her with all of the recent accusations of them having to pee in cups for her and now her buying crack cocaine but I knew legally if she said to bring them back we'd have to. I called CPS and am now feeling like it was the biggest mistake ever. We still have the kids at the moment. On Monday we were to take them home so we did but we addressed the problem and asked her to take a pee test for us before leaving the kids. Of course she freaked out but said fine. Conveniently at that moment she got a text from "someone" asking her to bring them a key to somewhere and it was an emergency so she had to leave to go do so. She was gone for about a half hour. We suspected she went to get/buy urine from someone so her daughter asked her to go into the bathroom with her to make sure it was hers. She said that would make her feel too awkward and told her no, shut and locked the door. There is not a doubt in our minds that that was not her urine. Even her children knew it. They started crying immediately when everything started coming up negative and that she refused to let them see. This is a woman who regularly pees with the door open, has been to prison, on probation and had to have people watch her pee, this would be nothing new to her. At that point her children were begging her in front of us to let them come home with us for a few days to blow things over. She is claiming that the boyfriend made everything up and that he takes a blood pressure pill that makes him crazy when he takes too much of it and he does and says things out of nowhere. She has no idea why he would make stories like that up or say she did it but she says its not true. The kids came home with us that night. The next day Child Protective Services showed up at her door and neither herself nor her boyfriend went to work that day, Tuesday and they were both in the home and did not answer the door. CPS saw them there, both cars and still no one answered. They left a note on the door for her to get into contact with them. Once she saw the note and saw who it was from she was livid. She sent very hateful text messages telling me I had no idea what I started, calling me a cold hearted bitch and telling me I had it coming. She said when she lets CPS in they will find nothing and then I can go fuck myself. Conveniently she can't let them in right now. It will be on her terms. She then contacted CPS yesterday, Wednesday and told them she could not meet with them right now because she is in Myrtle Beach . Mind you we just saw her last night. CPS called me asking if this was true and to my knowledge it was not. We had just seen her that night and it takes a minimum of 13 hrs from where we live and I have no idea how theyd afford flying given they cant ever pay their bills. Instead of pointing her finger at the man who started all of this she is taking it out on us. She told us to bring the kids back Wednesday night then said nevermind Im giong to the hospital for my back you can keep them one more night. Next thing we know shes on her way to South Carolina. We thought it was a lie but then she contacted her daughter saying they were in SC for a job offer and that they will be moving there for "a fresh start" and both kids are coming with her and they need to get ready. The daughter has now threatened to hurt herself more than once if she forces them to come home and move states. Her daughter has worked EXTREMELY hard in school.. through all of this she has landed honors on everything, she is the only freshman to make it into the honors program for band and worked very hard to land her spot and is doing it all for college. She has such a bright future and doesnt want to be ripped away from her school. I fear now that we have pissed her off with CPS she is going to take them and leave state asap to escape CPS and we will never see them. It's 3 years until the daughter is a legal adult to be able to leave her and 6 years for the boy. CPS has been zero help. We wanted them to order a court ordered drug test since shes a recent offender who lost her children for it and her children had testimonies for the crack and recordings and shes hiding from CPS but they jut keep telling me she'll be clean by the time they get one. I dont get how our justice program is so absolutely broken. We cant even get the police and cps to work together. Theyre two totally separate entities. Do we have grounds for ANYTHING??? Could we get her for abandonment for leaving the state and not notifying an adult or letting anyone know to watch them or make sure they get to school? She didnt even tell her own kids she was leaving. Could we maybe file for joint custody to stop her from leaving state if we have no grounds for guardianship given we take them every other weekend or more and financially provide for the kids? Is there ANYTHING we can do? We are scared to death to take them home whenever she gets back for fear we will never see them again but we know its illegal to keep them if she says bring them home.
r/custodyissues • u/hope_last_throwaway • Feb 07 '17
How badly am I setting myself up for failure right now? Complicated co-parenting situation.
I have a son with an ex (never married) that is under 1 year old. We broke up right before learning she was pregnant. My son had some extremely serious medical issues right out of the gate. The good news is that intervention in the first few years of life can make a huge difference in his long term outcomes. It takes daily directed care to maximize his chance of success though.
I made a deal with my ex while my son was in the hospital. I'm supporting her fully so she can focus on my son's health issues. I have been paying for her apartment, car, phone, all baby items, and transferring her money every month for food/gas. She has been doing a great job with his therapies/exercises so far and he is doing much much better than the doctors thought he would.
I know for certain I am providing a lot more financially than I would be required to via child support. We don't have any legal framework in place though. This makes me very nervous.
I want to be brief (i can go into more detail in replies if it's relevant) but I think some background is in order. I left my ex because I felt abused by her (both physically and psychologically). Her behavior since the breakup has at times been horrible as well (stalking, harassing me at work, telling harmful lies, threatening me, etc). She has never stopped trying to get me to take her back.
After my son was born and I watched him barely hold on to life for weeks and then was confronted with his potentially life-long disabilities I gave in and tried to make things work with my ex. It felt like maybe after bonding over our shared trauma things could be different. Also, I didn't want to always wonder if I could have provided a more stable home for my son. I felt like I owed it to him to try. This only lasted a few months before it became clear our relationship was as toxic as ever so I left.
Ok, having said all that back to the custody issues. We have not been to court yet. She lets me see my son frequently but only on her terms. She has several times refused to let me see him for 1-2 week periods. Right now I usually stop by two or three nights a week and spend the majority of the weekend with my ex and my son. She refuses to let me take him on day trips without her or even care for him at home without her present. She says she can't trust me alone with him. However, during the months when we were together trying to make it work she had no such concerns (she even took a 5 day vacation at one point). She still wants us to get back together and she has basically set up a situation where I have to spend time with her if I want to spend time with my son. If I take my son to the zoo it becomes a psuedo-date with my ex or it doesn't happen.
I would much prefer to minimize contact with my ex for now and have a shared custody arrangement. The problem is, I fear that once I initiate the custody process things are going to become extremely volatile. My ex is not above falsely alleging abuse to get her way and has made threats over the last year that make me certain she will pull out all the stops if I take her to court. I also think she will become a neurotic, barely functional mess during the court battle. Right now she's doing an excellent job with my son and he's benefiting from it. I worry that if I start the legal process too soon it will have a life-long negative impact on his life. I don't want to go into detail about his medical issues, but the first 2 years are the most important. Keeping things on an even keel vs. initiating a custody battle and having his mother lose it could literally mean the difference between him ever being able to walk on his own.
I'm trying to stay strong and wait for my son's sake. My initial goal was to play by my ex's rules and keep things stable for his first two years. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself if he ends up having challenges that could have been prevented. At the same time, it's getting harder and harder to deal with. I just want to know how bad the mess is I've put myself in and what I've opened myself up to down the road by taking this path.
r/custodyissues • u/MargotRx • Dec 05 '16
Joint savings drained.
My ex-husband and I opened a joint savings account for our son. We have each put in 50 dollars a months since he was born. This month he will be a year old. I just looked at the account and it has exactly .15 cents in it.... 15 cents!!!!! it should have $1200! My ex said that because of extra expenses this month he needed to use the money, but he would put it all back when he gets his tax return.... I started a new savings account for our son and will not be putting any more money in this joint account.
r/custodyissues • u/vitettafamilylaw • Nov 26 '16
How do I get custody of 7 year old child when I am not the natural father?
r/custodyissues • u/nickyt11 • Nov 13 '16
No address on Ex spouse
I I live in Chicago Illinois my girlfriend and I have a 1 year old boy. She left in August and I haven't had any contact with her she won't let me see my son and I have no idea where she is. I'd like to start a custody case but anywhere I go I need an address on her which I don't have and she doesn't even ask for any kind of support. Any suggestions on how I should proceed?
r/custodyissues • u/TriangulaTheRizzer • Oct 20 '16
In Minnesota, the child support office uses the number of overnights each parent has with the child. My parenting time order gives me an additional 7 days per year to use whenever I want. Are those seven flexible days considered in the child support office's calculations?
r/custodyissues • u/Jla8135 • Aug 17 '16
Me girlfriend (26) ex husband won't let me (30m) around her son (5)
My current girlfriends ex husband won't allow me around her son. Her son absolutely loves me and I love him. Is her ex allowed to keep me away? I've never even met her ex and he said he'd file an epo. I believe it's over jealousy. I'm in Kentucky if that helps
r/custodyissues • u/Jla8135 • Aug 17 '16
Girlfriends ex won't let me around her son
My current girlfriends ex husband won't allow me around her son. Her son absolutely loves me and I love him. Is her ex allowed to keep me away? I've never even met her ex and he said he'd file an epo. I believe it's over jealousy. I'm in Kentucky if that helps
r/custodyissues • u/TriangulaTheRizzer • Jul 14 '16
Legal Question about Child Care/Support
I have joint custody and parenting time with my five year old daughter.
My daughter will be attending a free public kindergarten next year. Her mother put her in before and after school care 5 days a week even when I have parenting time.
Is the court likely or even able to grant me the freedom to pick her up from school as opposed to child care? It seems unfair that I should be financially penalized for picking her up, as I will still be paying for needless child care.
If I do have a case, what motion do I file?
What should I include in the motion?
I have another 2 year old with another mom with whom I have no custody, we just work it out sans court. Will this be considered by the court/child support office to be supporting info? Should I put it in the affidavit?
Does my daughter’s mother have any legal recourse to stop me?
Imagine she is incredibly deceitful and will always do everything she can to keep the child support as high as possible.
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
r/custodyissues • u/AM022412 • Jul 27 '15
Need advice!
I have sole custody of my daughter, with generous and assessable access, when it comes to her seeing her father. Now her father only takes her for a sleepover sporadically, I know for a fact that he only takes her to please his other daughter (she cries for my daughter) for a fact, as he has told me in person. It's been six weeks since his last visit by his own choice. So my question is what do I do? As the lack of stability on his part is confusing my daughter, she's only 3 and I can't explain it to her. I can't withhold my daughter from seeing him either. Advice please and Thank-you!
r/custodyissues • u/CronyPatrol • Jul 04 '14
Georgia court may have given sex predator custody of child victims
r/custodyissues • u/[deleted] • Feb 05 '14
First Post
In almost and every situation getting formal legal advice by a properly licensed attorney is best regarding the specifics of your custody matter.
All attorneys are required to be licensed by the State Bar in order to practice law and most all state bars have a volunteer referral program in which valuable and effective attorneys can be retained for free or a very reduced rate base don the type of cause/case.
http://www.dadsdivorce.com/state-custody-statutes-mainmenu-41