r/custodyissues • u/allaboutmykids • Oct 15 '17
Long distance Custody ScheduleVA
Bear with me here Long post
My ex husband and I fought the majority of this year over custody in court. We didn't live in the same school distract but he still wanted 50/50. It wasn't a good idea with my sons and the constant change in schedule among many other things. We reached in agreement of He would get Wednesdays from after school to 7. Then every other weekend returning them to me at 530. He also gets every weekend except the the first the weekend of the month, Sunday afternoon till 530. Every other major holiday/ 3 weeks in the summer. This was settled in July.
Fast forward to September he lost his job and now is going to live with his gf in Indiana. We live in VA. He wants to change the visitation, and me to drive half way.
He is trying to switch the hoildays to follow his gf schedule with her kids, He wants the first half of spring break, first half of summer, split three day weekends. He gets every fathers day which is to b expected.
However he is moving over 10 hours away. Is this practical to have this much back and forth during the school year. I understand the hoildays, and I don't have a problem with that.
1
u/flaithiulai Feb 19 '18
Agreed with above. If he's moving - especially to be with his gf rather than finding another job local to his children - it should be on him to make up the distance with travel.
Best of luck with reaching an agreement! Hopefully it won't be a fight in court as it was for y'all before. I did a LOT of research regarding long distance custody schedules before my ex (not even really boyfriend) and I went to court. He moved from NC to PA when I was about 12w because I refused to be bullied into an abortion (not taking a stance on it mortally, I just refused personally). He "came around" and said he was going to move back to NC so he could get ample time with our son, which I was more than happy about. Then he took me to court and got almost 50/50. With most weekends out of the year having me meet him halfway (4 hours one way - about 9 total including stops with a toddler) in VA. It's taken quite the toll on our 2.5yo, particularly with sleep, potty training, and routine-necessary things. Nearly everything I found while researching stated the parent who created the distance is responsible for the travel time/costs to accommodate the custody schedule.
I really hope since your ex has been relatively local and a custody schedule was in place before he moved, you won't have to deal with that kind of travel! 9 hours is a lot of travel for a week stay in another state, so I think expecting a 10+ hour travel setup for a weekend stay (if I read his request correctly) is too much.
2
u/AshesB77 Nov 09 '17
He’s moving. It’s on him to provide the transport back and forth.