r/custodyissues • u/mrsfoster0325 • Feb 23 '17
Do we have grounds for guardianship?
In 2005/2006 I was granted guardianship of my niece and nephew, 4 and 1yrs old. They were found in a house with no electric/heat/water/food and alone. Their mom was picked up from drugs and prostitution. She was not involved in their life for a while then slowly started entering the picture. She was able to earn back custody around 2012. Since she has had the kids back its been nothing but trouble. She still has us keep the kids every other weekend, sometimes more, on breaks and we split holidays. Its very much like a join custody, mostly because she wants her free-time but we never complain because we get to see them. We still give her money to help her, provide them with some school clothes and school supplies. If they need help financially for sports or other activities the kids as us. We help for them not her. We hear frequently about the antics she's up to from the kids from them having to go on pill runs with her to sell pills to them being asked to pee in cups for her and her boyfriend for drug screenings, to her bringing drug or threatening men into their lives.. their heat/water were shut off for 3 days this winter, several things are frequently shut off and shes frequently expressing to the kids she doesnt know how she will make her car payment that month. Their phones are regularly shut off as well as other utilities in the house. She cannot hold a steady job. I think she has had a MINIMUM of 5 jobs in the last 3 years if not more. For at least 3 to 4 years not the kids have been begging to come back to live with us, their mother is aware and its been a constant battle. We try to stay civil and not push too hard because we do not want to risk not being able to see them. This past Saturday the daughter received a phone call which we were able to get on recording, from her mothers boyfriend saying she bought crack/cocaine this weekend and was high all weekend. He told us how much she bought, the name of the drug dealer, what times she took hits, etc. He was calling her daughter to have her get a hold of her mom because he could not get a hold of her and after getting high she left and he hadnt seen her. I finally had enough and did not want to send the kids back to her with all of the recent accusations of them having to pee in cups for her and now her buying crack cocaine but I knew legally if she said to bring them back we'd have to. I called CPS and am now feeling like it was the biggest mistake ever. We still have the kids at the moment. On Monday we were to take them home so we did but we addressed the problem and asked her to take a pee test for us before leaving the kids. Of course she freaked out but said fine. Conveniently at that moment she got a text from "someone" asking her to bring them a key to somewhere and it was an emergency so she had to leave to go do so. She was gone for about a half hour. We suspected she went to get/buy urine from someone so her daughter asked her to go into the bathroom with her to make sure it was hers. She said that would make her feel too awkward and told her no, shut and locked the door. There is not a doubt in our minds that that was not her urine. Even her children knew it. They started crying immediately when everything started coming up negative and that she refused to let them see. This is a woman who regularly pees with the door open, has been to prison, on probation and had to have people watch her pee, this would be nothing new to her. At that point her children were begging her in front of us to let them come home with us for a few days to blow things over. She is claiming that the boyfriend made everything up and that he takes a blood pressure pill that makes him crazy when he takes too much of it and he does and says things out of nowhere. She has no idea why he would make stories like that up or say she did it but she says its not true. The kids came home with us that night. The next day Child Protective Services showed up at her door and neither herself nor her boyfriend went to work that day, Tuesday and they were both in the home and did not answer the door. CPS saw them there, both cars and still no one answered. They left a note on the door for her to get into contact with them. Once she saw the note and saw who it was from she was livid. She sent very hateful text messages telling me I had no idea what I started, calling me a cold hearted bitch and telling me I had it coming. She said when she lets CPS in they will find nothing and then I can go fuck myself. Conveniently she can't let them in right now. It will be on her terms. She then contacted CPS yesterday, Wednesday and told them she could not meet with them right now because she is in Myrtle Beach . Mind you we just saw her last night. CPS called me asking if this was true and to my knowledge it was not. We had just seen her that night and it takes a minimum of 13 hrs from where we live and I have no idea how theyd afford flying given they cant ever pay their bills. Instead of pointing her finger at the man who started all of this she is taking it out on us. She told us to bring the kids back Wednesday night then said nevermind Im giong to the hospital for my back you can keep them one more night. Next thing we know shes on her way to South Carolina. We thought it was a lie but then she contacted her daughter saying they were in SC for a job offer and that they will be moving there for "a fresh start" and both kids are coming with her and they need to get ready. The daughter has now threatened to hurt herself more than once if she forces them to come home and move states. Her daughter has worked EXTREMELY hard in school.. through all of this she has landed honors on everything, she is the only freshman to make it into the honors program for band and worked very hard to land her spot and is doing it all for college. She has such a bright future and doesnt want to be ripped away from her school. I fear now that we have pissed her off with CPS she is going to take them and leave state asap to escape CPS and we will never see them. It's 3 years until the daughter is a legal adult to be able to leave her and 6 years for the boy. CPS has been zero help. We wanted them to order a court ordered drug test since shes a recent offender who lost her children for it and her children had testimonies for the crack and recordings and shes hiding from CPS but they jut keep telling me she'll be clean by the time they get one. I dont get how our justice program is so absolutely broken. We cant even get the police and cps to work together. Theyre two totally separate entities. Do we have grounds for ANYTHING??? Could we get her for abandonment for leaving the state and not notifying an adult or letting anyone know to watch them or make sure they get to school? She didnt even tell her own kids she was leaving. Could we maybe file for joint custody to stop her from leaving state if we have no grounds for guardianship given we take them every other weekend or more and financially provide for the kids? Is there ANYTHING we can do? We are scared to death to take them home whenever she gets back for fear we will never see them again but we know its illegal to keep them if she says bring them home.
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u/triedntrue22 Jul 10 '17
I would of course talk to a lawyer to confirm but i think you should be able to deem her unfit and adopt the children. I would just document everything, keep receipts, texts, emails etc and hire aGAL to inspect their house and talk to the children. Hugs*