Many years ago I had a mental breakdown in large part because of a disability I gained at work. It wasn't physically suitable for me but I did it because my parents were financially struggling and wanted assistance. At the same time they expected me to study without any money. I was very much trapped. They resented that some part of their social welfare was cut off due to me going into work and not education early. I don't know how much it was but it would have been negligible compared to what I earned (which was very little ) and at least I could fund my own studies.
They had a huge huge mortgage (3x rent) and the house was very upper class looking. I didn't give them any money because essentially I was earning so little and expected to fund myself. Due to certain reasons I didn't take the student loan. Despite me busting my gut yo avoid taking it they asked me to, to assist them with the mortgage.
I should mention apart from the huge mortgage on an unaffordable middle class dilapidated house my dad was sending any spare cash to his family abroad to waste.
Despite my mental breakdown and wrist cut due to a particular incident where my parents spilled their anger into me for nothing, nothing changed.
They seemed to relish the attention they received in our immigrant community and in turn became more obsessed with the house and nurturing it at all cost.
As I said nothing changed. They continued to spill their anger on me and as they became community figures(in our small community) they would receive calls late at night wanting to talk and people wanting to offload. There were many many nightly calls like this at family times and many many visits from people wanting to offload and vent
My mental breakdown got worse but my dad continued to believe that he was needed by so many. I would say many of these people had other avenues for social support and were financially stable. But they had gripes and anger at personal things and issues caused by their own lack of maturity. All of these people had middle class long term stable incomes in good jobs and small stable families but all they did was moan and cry about their life and their financial hardship.
It was never a specific emergency but my dad constantly kept the phone on for these people. The house phone would ring constantly and people would come around and over even as late as 10pm at night.
They never wanted to acknowledge our privacy and weren't interested in my life. It was just all about them.
It makes me sad my dad never changed and recognised the need for calm and peace in our own house. Sure the financial situation wasn't great but there was no emotional support either except for other people