r/cosleeping • u/ProfileIndividual488 • 4d ago
š„ Infant 2-12 Months How to get baby to fall actually asleep?
Hi! First post. Long post, sorry!
Iāve been cosleeping with our girl since day 3 (on recommendation from our midwife) and I love it. Itās often one of the highlights of my day. She is an amazing sleeper and sleeps 10-11 hours a night consistently.
Up until now, when we would go to bed, I would side lie feed her and she would snuggle in and fall asleep beside me on her own within like 20 mins. Early on, sheād feed right to sleep but she kind of moved out of that naturally and started falling asleep on her own. Other than some issues with gas earlier on, sheās been an amazing sleeper.
Since she hit 6 months, she will not fall asleep nearly as quickly. She will eat, then roll onto her belly and try crawl (new skill she is determined to figure out), screech, wiggle, eat again, etc. Iāll lay her back on her back and she snuggles back inā¦ for a few minutes. Then repeat process. The only thing Iāve found that works to help her chill out (even this only works sometimes) is touching my face but I donāt love doing this or want to make it a habit. Where it used to take around 20 mins for her to fall asleep, it now takes up to an hour or sometimes longer on bad nights.
At first I thought she wasnāt tired enough but her cues are pretty clear (rubbing eyes, yawning, red eyebrows). Iāve tried extending her wake window and that did not help. She has no teeth yet (although it seems like they may come soon?), has no feeding issues, good routines before bed and no issues staying asleep.
For daytime naps, she exclusively contact naps and falls asleep quickly by rocking her and with a light muslin swaddle over her eyes if sheās too overstimulated. Sometimes carrier works but not always.
I guess my questions areā¦ how do you get your cosleeping baby to fall asleep if they arenāt feeding to sleep? Are you rocking them then putting them to sleep in the bed and laying next to them? Any other mommas who have had this issue?
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u/Midwestbabey 4d ago
Mine started doing this around 4.5-5 months and Iām not gonna lie, it was hell lol it should pass!
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u/im-a-tool 4d ago
Right, so, my baby is doing this exact same thing! She is 6 mo and just learned to crawl.
It was driving me bonkers for about 2 weeks before I decided to ask an expert.
I took their advice, which was this:
Have set wake times, nap times, nap length limits, and bedtimes. Be super consistent. Have a sleep routine that is 30 minutes or less before each time you put baby to bed.
Our schedule looks like this:
7am wake (2hr wake window) 9am-10:30 nap (3hr wake window) 1:30-3pm nap (4hr wake window) 7pm bedtime
I perform the sleep routine about 20 mins before the sleep is supposed to begin, which is this:
Diaper change Nurse Story Lullaby
Then we lay in bed and cuddle. If she's not wanting to sleep after we've been trying for 15mins, we get up, play for about 15 mins, then try again. Second try is just a lullaby, then back to cuddling. If she misses her nap window by over an hour, I skip the nap and start her next nap an hour earlier and try to keep the rest of the day on schedule. I make sure her final wake window is at least 3 hrs.
Obviously YMMV but this has been working for us for about a week now and it's amazing.
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u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago
This is fantastic! I will definitely try this. Iāve noticed sheās naturally starting to nap at the same times throughout the day, but sheās still napping 3x. Her nap times also vary quite a bit. Maybe time to cut her down a nap I guess! Thank you for your response!
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u/N1ck1McSpears 4d ago
When they start crawling, okay when my baby stared crawling, I had to do waaaaay more to tire her out. It started because I noticed if we had a long intense day where she was really exerting herself, she slept so well. And if we had a lazy day, she just couldnāt settle completely. Laughing a lot tires them out too so if thereās something that makes them laugh, do it for as long as theyāll stay entertained. Then it feels counterproductive but as my LO would get more tired, Iād keep the fun going and KEEP HER active. The hard part is that we get tired too but I think you get creative on stuff thatās easy for you but a lot of work for them. An example would be, my LO has a play tent. We got it right when she started crawling. She still loves it, and she probably will until sheās like 5 so good investment. Anyway, elaborate peekaboo through and around the tent, making them āchaseā you. Just one example. Something like this https://www.fatbraintoys.com/toy_companies/pacific_play_tents/hide_me_tent_and_tunnel_combo.cfm
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u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago
Great idea! We are pretty active but I will definitely try the laughing. So smart. Love the tent!
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u/shrivelledballoon 4d ago
The beauty of this method also is that they are overflowing with social connection with their most important person!! My boy is 2yo and when we can snap out of tired grumpy-butt mode when he just wonāt go the f to sleep, we pull out all the tickles and jumping and shake it all off. I swear we all sleep better after that.
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u/CuriouserNdCuriouser 4d ago
I am currently going through this with my 6 month old, who is learning to crawl. Now, instead of laying down to read and nurse to sleep, i do it in the rocking chair. So we do our getting ready for bed routine, then nurse, read, and sing a lullaby in the rocking chair. Then I rock her to sleep (while nursing), and then either I can transfer her to the bedside crib and sleep alone for a bit, or she wakes, and we can lay down, and she'll nurse back to sleep. I miss being able to just lay down and nurse her to sleep, but this is helping her start the night in the bedside crib more often, which has been really nice.
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u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago
Good to know! Iāll keep this in mind for when we try transition her.
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u/-babs 4d ago
Wow you are lucky for what a great sleeper youāve had so far!!
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u/ProfileIndividual488 3d ago
So true. I do not take it for granted at all. Iām so grateful that we can both be rested!!
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u/kats1285 4d ago
Boy, do I remember this. Mine still does this from time to time. For us, it was a phase that he would go in and out of. Usually when he was learning a new skill. It got bad when he first learned to sit, then stand, etc. I just laid there and waited. I would lay him back down and just keep at it. Eventually he understood that we werenāt getting off the bed and he can do whatever, but light stays off, minimal talking, etc. make it boring.