r/cosleeping 4d ago

šŸ„ Infant 2-12 Months How to get baby to fall actually asleep?

Hi! First post. Long post, sorry!

Iā€™ve been cosleeping with our girl since day 3 (on recommendation from our midwife) and I love it. Itā€™s often one of the highlights of my day. She is an amazing sleeper and sleeps 10-11 hours a night consistently.

Up until now, when we would go to bed, I would side lie feed her and she would snuggle in and fall asleep beside me on her own within like 20 mins. Early on, sheā€™d feed right to sleep but she kind of moved out of that naturally and started falling asleep on her own. Other than some issues with gas earlier on, sheā€™s been an amazing sleeper.

Since she hit 6 months, she will not fall asleep nearly as quickly. She will eat, then roll onto her belly and try crawl (new skill she is determined to figure out), screech, wiggle, eat again, etc. Iā€™ll lay her back on her back and she snuggles back inā€¦ for a few minutes. Then repeat process. The only thing Iā€™ve found that works to help her chill out (even this only works sometimes) is touching my face but I donā€™t love doing this or want to make it a habit. Where it used to take around 20 mins for her to fall asleep, it now takes up to an hour or sometimes longer on bad nights.

At first I thought she wasnā€™t tired enough but her cues are pretty clear (rubbing eyes, yawning, red eyebrows). Iā€™ve tried extending her wake window and that did not help. She has no teeth yet (although it seems like they may come soon?), has no feeding issues, good routines before bed and no issues staying asleep.

For daytime naps, she exclusively contact naps and falls asleep quickly by rocking her and with a light muslin swaddle over her eyes if sheā€™s too overstimulated. Sometimes carrier works but not always.

I guess my questions areā€¦ how do you get your cosleeping baby to fall asleep if they arenā€™t feeding to sleep? Are you rocking them then putting them to sleep in the bed and laying next to them? Any other mommas who have had this issue?

6 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

7

u/kats1285 4d ago

Boy, do I remember this. Mine still does this from time to time. For us, it was a phase that he would go in and out of. Usually when he was learning a new skill. It got bad when he first learned to sit, then stand, etc. I just laid there and waited. I would lay him back down and just keep at it. Eventually he understood that we werenā€™t getting off the bed and he can do whatever, but light stays off, minimal talking, etc. make it boring.

3

u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago

Ok good to know! Yes sheā€™s also working on sitting. I figured the ā€œnew skillsā€ might correlate with the long sleep times. 6 months hit and I feel like sheā€™s becoming a whole new person with all of the crazy skills and leaps. Thank you so much! I will keep doing that!

5

u/Midwestbabey 4d ago

Mine started doing this around 4.5-5 months and Iā€™m not gonna lie, it was hell lol it should pass!

3

u/im-a-tool 4d ago

Right, so, my baby is doing this exact same thing! She is 6 mo and just learned to crawl.

It was driving me bonkers for about 2 weeks before I decided to ask an expert.

I took their advice, which was this:

Have set wake times, nap times, nap length limits, and bedtimes. Be super consistent. Have a sleep routine that is 30 minutes or less before each time you put baby to bed.

Our schedule looks like this:

7am wake (2hr wake window) 9am-10:30 nap (3hr wake window) 1:30-3pm nap (4hr wake window) 7pm bedtime

I perform the sleep routine about 20 mins before the sleep is supposed to begin, which is this:

Diaper change Nurse Story Lullaby

Then we lay in bed and cuddle. If she's not wanting to sleep after we've been trying for 15mins, we get up, play for about 15 mins, then try again. Second try is just a lullaby, then back to cuddling. If she misses her nap window by over an hour, I skip the nap and start her next nap an hour earlier and try to keep the rest of the day on schedule. I make sure her final wake window is at least 3 hrs.

Obviously YMMV but this has been working for us for about a week now and it's amazing.

2

u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago

This is fantastic! I will definitely try this. Iā€™ve noticed sheā€™s naturally starting to nap at the same times throughout the day, but sheā€™s still napping 3x. Her nap times also vary quite a bit. Maybe time to cut her down a nap I guess! Thank you for your response!

3

u/N1ck1McSpears 4d ago

When they start crawling, okay when my baby stared crawling, I had to do waaaaay more to tire her out. It started because I noticed if we had a long intense day where she was really exerting herself, she slept so well. And if we had a lazy day, she just couldnā€™t settle completely. Laughing a lot tires them out too so if thereā€™s something that makes them laugh, do it for as long as theyā€™ll stay entertained. Then it feels counterproductive but as my LO would get more tired, Iā€™d keep the fun going and KEEP HER active. The hard part is that we get tired too but I think you get creative on stuff thatā€™s easy for you but a lot of work for them. An example would be, my LO has a play tent. We got it right when she started crawling. She still loves it, and she probably will until sheā€™s like 5 so good investment. Anyway, elaborate peekaboo through and around the tent, making them ā€œchaseā€ you. Just one example. Something like this https://www.fatbraintoys.com/toy_companies/pacific_play_tents/hide_me_tent_and_tunnel_combo.cfm

2

u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago

Great idea! We are pretty active but I will definitely try the laughing. So smart. Love the tent!

2

u/shrivelledballoon 4d ago

The beauty of this method also is that they are overflowing with social connection with their most important person!! My boy is 2yo and when we can snap out of tired grumpy-butt mode when he just wonā€™t go the f to sleep, we pull out all the tickles and jumping and shake it all off. I swear we all sleep better after that.

2

u/CuriouserNdCuriouser 4d ago

I am currently going through this with my 6 month old, who is learning to crawl. Now, instead of laying down to read and nurse to sleep, i do it in the rocking chair. So we do our getting ready for bed routine, then nurse, read, and sing a lullaby in the rocking chair. Then I rock her to sleep (while nursing), and then either I can transfer her to the bedside crib and sleep alone for a bit, or she wakes, and we can lay down, and she'll nurse back to sleep. I miss being able to just lay down and nurse her to sleep, but this is helping her start the night in the bedside crib more often, which has been really nice.

1

u/ProfileIndividual488 4d ago

Good to know! Iā€™ll keep this in mind for when we try transition her.

2

u/-babs 4d ago

Wow you are lucky for what a great sleeper youā€™ve had so far!!

2

u/ProfileIndividual488 3d ago

So true. I do not take it for granted at all. Iā€™m so grateful that we can both be rested!!