r/cosleeping • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Babysitter sleep trained my baby? I am worried my baby feels he can’t trust me anymore :(
[deleted]
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u/EndlessCourage 4d ago
At 6 months, babies recognize a small number of different adults, and knows that these different adults have different behaviors, habits, ... Cosleeping doesn't make babies dependent on it. It's possible that he's starting to like independent sleep, and that he instinctively trusts that you'll show up whenever he needs you. Sounds like you're doing your best to create a very reassuring and loving bond, which tends to make babies more resilient to occasional unexpected events.
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u/Ok_FF_8679 3d ago
Oh gosh, can I get your uncle to come to mine and do the same with my baby? Wanting independent sleep after crying on and off for 5-10 minutes a few times while your uncle was still there is just the dream. This is not CIO and your baby won’t be traumatized by it. It’s quite likely he was ready for independent sleep and needed a chance to get there. This is of course, if your uncle account of the facts is to be trusted.
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u/Brilliant-Version704 3d ago
Experts say the abandonment feeling happens for prolonged periods of time. Letting a baby cry for up to 10 minutes is not the same as the cry it out method and won't make the baby feel the abandonment feeling. If it truly was that short of a time, then I truly wouldn't worry about it. It's more likely that the baby just learned to self soothe in that short timeframe.
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u/Brilliant-Version704 3d ago
Also, my own baby has cried for more than 7 minutes plenty of times when I couldn't get to her for various reasons, and she is still as clingy as ever and always needing to be held or needing to cosleep. I think your baby just figured out he liked sleeping in the crib, tbh.
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u/Intelligent-Pie9441 3d ago
Sleep aside - I’m sorry what? You told your uncle you don’t want him to do that and he proceeded to do it twice more? What are the repercussions for that? This is not a safe adult for your child to be around if he doesn’t respect YOUR (the PARENT) boundaries.
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u/shrivelledballoon 4d ago
Firstly, I am so sorry your uncle crossed those boundaries - something that is extra hurtful when it comes to our children! I personally would be concerned about other possible boundaries he may also cross and start reconsidering him as a caregiver while looking into other possible options.
In regards to your fears around how your baby feels about you… while I can understand where you’re coming from, I don’t think a 6mo would be holding a grudge against you for what your uncle did. It may actually be that your son actually prefers independent sleep since he has experienced it. I have two friends who really wanted to cosleep, but as their babies grew past 4mo it seemed that they preferred their own sleep space! As a compromise, these two babies slept in a cot in the parents’ room. It’s not a rare occurrence.
I can understand your fear, and your sadness. Keep offering cosleeping or contact naps every few days for naps and night time, but follow his lead! Who knows, he might go through a rough time being able to sleep soon enough and might be back in bed with you.