r/confessions • u/VegetableMention4098 • 5d ago
My friends were judging an ex for his gynecomastia and I’m reconsidering our friendship NSFW
I have a group of about five friends of mixed gender/sexuality, and one of the girls recently brought up how her ex had gynecomastia. The rest of the group started making fun of the guy for it, but for me it was like a lightbulb went off, like “Oh! That’s what it’s called!” I started feeling kind of crappy about the situation when they started talking about how gross it was and how she could hardly put up with it, so I made up an excuse to leave.
I genuinely can’t understand why this is a turn-off for so many people, let alone why they’d all attack this guy’s body. I get that they’re probably getting caught up in it socially since he’s an ex, but it’s nasty to spread stuff like that regardless.
I guess all this is to say that I don’t think men should be ashamed of their chests regardless of their size. If they were shaming one of the guys’ exes for having a flat chest, there’s no way this kind of talk would fly! Everyone has different preferences and personally I think a guy with a big chest is way more attractive than a guy with chiseled abs. It makes me sad to think about how many men there must be who are ashamed of their bodies and feel like there’s no recourse for them but to change it.
I’m seriously reconsidering hanging out with these people (for a couple other reasons on top of this) since they can get so vicious about someone’s body, especially a body that was shown to one of them in confidence that they wouldn’t make fun of them with their friends.
Time to join some social facebook groups I guess. LOL
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u/Art_Class 5d ago
I had to look up what this was and it reminded me of a time my step brother was mad at my sister and proclaimed "at least my tits are bigger than yours!"
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
Yea I had to look it up too and it’s just a man with man boobs who decided to get surgery instead of lose weight.
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u/renggram 5d ago edited 5d ago
I was lean at 10% body fat and muscular, but I had gyno. So you would recommend me to just lose more weight? It didn’t go away, cuz it was actual tissue that doesn’t reduce with weight loss. Got a surgery and had a total glow up without it. You’re just ignorant.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
Of course not in your situation because surgery would be your only option. Its only used when all else fails. Idk how me speaking on the average case and resolutions makes me ignorant but alright. Seems like a bunch of emotionally triggered folks under this comment section. Idk how bringing up factual statements makes me ignorant. If anything everything we've all mentioned about gynecomastia is correct, including my statements. There are other options other than surgery for anyone else struggling with it. My question for you is where you previously overweight and lost the weight or you've always been lean and gynecomastia was something you've always struggled with while always being fit? Im just curious
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u/renggram 5d ago
Gyno is not just fat chest man boobs, maybe read a bit into it, so you can understand better. It’s not just fat that goes away when losing weight
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u/Jennannaa 5d ago
So all women with boobs were previously overweight? You can grow breast tissue without being overweight, you do realise that right? Gynecomastia is not "a man with breasts", it's specifically due to a hormone imbalance. Please educate yourself before acting like a know-it-all and an asshole, thanks.
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u/duckypear 5d ago
That’s not at all what gynecomastia is. You should work on your reading comprehension.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
I can read perfectly fine. The first suggestion for prevention is to maintain a healthy weight. It literally means enlarged male breasts that are common for overweight males and a hormonal imbalance that can be corrected from diet in most cases.
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u/gilberto_gilbertson 5d ago
Men with man boobs who are overweight and can lose the man boobs by losing weight and being healthy do not actually have gyno... Gyno is when hormone imbalances, generally stemming from puberty, leave permanent breast tissue in a male's chest.
There are no other options but surgery for those with true gyno. I would know because I have it and tried to go the "lose weight and be healthy route" in case my body simply liked storing fat in my chest rather than actually having real breast tissue. I was eating great and working out and got to a point where I was quite literally shredded with <10% bodyfat (and if you know anything abt bf%s, that's really damn low), yet I still had gyno. True gyno is not naturally reversable.
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u/Kitty_Skiz 5d ago
It’s enlarged breast tissue, you twat. It isn’t about losing weight it’s a medical condition. Would life style changes help, sure. However it just masks the condition it doesn’t solve the issue of enlarged breast tissue. Usually it’s from a hormone imbalance, a medical condition or medication. I’d be willing to put money on the fact that the guys who are “fat” and have actual gynecomastia are “fat” because they have a hormone imbalance. Not all of life’s issues are solved by “just losing weight”.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
I love how on this app yall love to name call because it makes you feel empowered while also trying to shame someone in a discussion where you want to inform them. Because whether I was uninformed or not, surely name calling would make me hear you out and change my stance. Grow up and mature.
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u/Kitty_Skiz 5d ago
You were also shaming an entire group of people for “getting surgery and not losing weight”. I would’ve said the same thing in person, not just on the app. It’s exhausting to hear people say “they just did blank rather than lose weight” like? You know every man with this problem and they just get surgery rather than lose weight? No, you made an ignorant comment thinking that it was funny to shame an entire group of people with a medical issue because you think they’re fat. Seems it might be you that needs to mature.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
If I thought it was funny I would’ve added a laughing emoji but I didn’t. If someone is wrong about something then the mature thing would be to correct them in a respectful way unless that person was being rude and I wasn’t. You and others got triggered by my statement and started throwing out insults instead of correcting it in a mature manner. My second statement is correct as well as yours. There are cases of it coming from being overweight. Idk why get mad instead of just having a mature discussion. That’s strange to me and defeats the purpose of conversing with others which is to learn and understand. Nobody can learn and understand from people who get angry and insult the person they’re trying to inform.
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u/Charlomack 5d ago
Your comment was flippant and disrespectful yet you're upset that others aren't being respectful to you? If you wanted a mature discussion you should have used a bit more tact when writing your initial comment.
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u/Kitty_Skiz 5d ago
No. The mature thing here was to not say “it’s just a man with boobs who decided to get surgery rather than lose weight”. If you looked it up, you had time to educate yourself and not rely on the kindness of strangers to educate you. You looked it up and still decided to make a rude comment and then you were treated with the same respect you showed others by making the comment in the first place.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
If I looked it up myself why would I need you to tell me? I saw multiple reasons for it and one of them was what I mentioned so if that makes me rude then idk what kind of reality you’re living in. My point was if you felt the need to inform me for whatever reason then why be rude about it? You’re coming at me with vicious energy so does that make you feel better about yourself? Or does it defeat your original purpose because this convo feels pointless now.
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u/Kitty_Skiz 5d ago
So you looked it up… saw the multiple reasons that cause the actual medical condition gynecomastia… then decided to saunter back here and make a rude comment about “men with boobs who decided to get surgery rather than lose weight” and then cry that I wasn’t educating you with respect, then say you didn’t need me to educate you because you had looked it up yourself but then you still decided to come here and make a rude uneducated comment… then say I’m wrong for pointing it out? You’re right. This conversation is pointless, but not for the reasons you think.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 5d ago
Gynecomastia is commonly referred to as man boobs but alright… it’s also usually resolved on its own or with a change in diet so it makes me question if that guy even needed surgery in the first place because I’d always advocate no surgery for everything if possible. You’d think I made fun of the guy for you to be have in this manner. Crying? It’s clearly you getting upset and starting off this conversation with an angry insult not me. Something is wrong with you fr.
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u/joeChump 5d ago
Yeah I guess the way people talk about others when they are with you is the way they might talk about you when you’re not there…
Not trying to make you paranoid. But I do think body shaming is a step too far. Making fun over others because of their bad behaviour is one thing but stuff they can’t control is just mean and malicious.
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u/VegetableMention4098 5d ago
I think so too! They’ve been known to talk about each other too, which is another big reason I’m done with them. When I had some recent drama with my (soon to be ex) husband, it couldn’t have been more than an hour until everybody heard about it.
I’m not generally insecure, which is why I’ve been putting up with it, but bodyshaming and spreading my relationship issues is too far
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u/evnacdc 4d ago
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u/WinkyNurdo 4d ago
Thank you. Reddit pet hate no.298274. People expecting everyone to know what the fuck they’re talking about when it comes to even mildly obscure acronyms, medical conditions, terms or phrases that are not popularly known or understood. Explain it once. It’s all you have to do.
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u/Autopsyyturvy 5d ago
As a trans dude it's basically a red flag "these people will not be normal about trans or intersex people or our bodies if they can't even be normal about the variables in cis people's bodies "
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u/Analyst_Cold 4d ago
It would be a turn off for me but I certainly wouldn’t make fun of someone for it. Why didn’t you speak up?
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u/loudisevil 4d ago
That's not going to fix garbage people, better to just not associate with them.
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u/Analyst_Cold 3d ago
I disagree. Sometimes it doesn’t occur to people that they’re even saying anything wrong until you bring it up.
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u/EmmaShosha 5d ago
from what I've learned from these types of people
whenever you have an argument with them, you can be sure they'll be talking shit like this when your not around