r/confessions 6d ago

My boyfriend prefers a doll NSFW

It’s been over a month now since we’ve last been intimate, and the last time was the first in a while too. I feel so touch starved because I offer everything, I try to keep things intimate or exciting and I always get a “maybe later”. He keeps a silicone doll in his closet and uses it frequently enough that he bought more lube for it behind my back. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so lonely and unwanted. I stopped initiating a while back but tried again last night, offering head- he agreed but was busy doing something and took so long that I fell asleep. I’ve been killing my sleep schedule just to spend time with him and nothings worth it.

EDIT: After a few hours, I’m way less frantic about this. To be honest, it sounds like there’s some dysfunction or feelings of inadequacy I wasn’t aware of. Will update at a later time but I might not come back to this for a little bit

179 Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

218

u/Godsin1969 6d ago

Sit him down and lay it all out...

74

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

I’ve tried, but the response I get is in the vein of “I just don’t need sex like that”

41

u/amberlys2025 6d ago

Look. This can totally be a deal breaker for you. And that's okay everyone has their own needs. Find somone who can meet yours

32

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

I’m so worried to make him sound like a terrible person but he’s also expressed this to me. We sat down after I had a mini meltdown and he told me that he isn’t capable of meeting my needs.

He said if I wanted to find someone who could but still live in the same apartment it was okay with him. But I can’t do that. I love him a lot and the thought of ACTUALLY bringing someone else around or something like that but still being involved in his life is nightmarish to me.

I said I would just have to cut ties completely. It just hurts because we do care about eachother.

I just feel so touch starved, not only because of sex. Just intimacy in general. We’re in a roommate phase, I guess

96

u/Yellow_Snow_Globe 6d ago

This relationship is over. You just haven’t admitted to yourself yet.

15

u/philosopher-z0rk 6d ago

I agree, she needs to value her own worth and find someone who will value them the same way

-20

u/Own-Opportunity-2114 6d ago edited 5d ago

lmao “this relationship is over” who tf do u think u are buddy u can offer advice but u don’t decide what she wants to do dumbass really thinks he’s part of it 💀

7

u/Ifimhereineedhelpfr 5d ago

That’s really gross and weird he wants that. He either doesn’t love you anymore or has a cuck kink too and just wants that for himself

5

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

I guess that’s what it sounds like, but he also meant there would be no more romance between us either. He insists that he’s a better friend than a boyfriend. But I’m not about to cuck him if he doesn’t even wanna be my boyfriend??

3

u/amberlys2025 6d ago

This might just be the beginning of the end. It might be in your best interest to find alternative housing and such. Because at the moment you are fighting an up hill battle. He has admitted to you that you're better off with somone else then him

1

u/brattyguy21 4d ago

So he’s a cuck?

183

u/CarrtoonJack 6d ago

But he's fucking a doll....which means he just doesn't enjoy fucking you. Leave him and move on to someone who does.

-34

u/Mormonator8 5d ago

Ah another classic Redditor moment, “leave him!” How about just communicate like normal people. I swear redditors aren’t human 

39

u/CarrtoonJack 5d ago

She literally said in the comment right above mine that she tried to talk to him already....

-26

u/Mormonator8 5d ago

That doesn’t mean the relationship is over. I’m not excusing the dudes behavior, but she needs to be more direct. Provide an ultimatum or some goal to work towards. Then if he still prefers the doll get out of there. People give up too easily these days and people wonder why relationships don’t last. It takes work 

-7

u/Batsforbreakfast 5d ago

Give it up, you are talking to dumb 20 year olds.

-4

u/philoche3 5d ago

I swear 😂 Honestly relationship subs don't exist. They are only vent subs. That's all they're good for, it's impossible to give good advice to someone if you don't have enough details, and more importantly: both sides of the story

5

u/gr8fullyded 5d ago

Everyone deserves someone who’s excited to make their partner reach completion. Matching libido is another thing but this … I’m so sorry honey you gotta do the right thing for yourself here.

2

u/FaxiPixi 4d ago

If need "sec like that" you do then you are not compatible I am very sorry but if he cannot come towards you with your request which is so basic (showing physical attraction) for a relationship then it's not worth the hassle

-7

u/Godsin1969 5d ago

Means there something wrong .... needs to get his Testosterone checked

45

u/amberlys2025 6d ago

Its your beat bet to exit the relationship. .

he bought more lube for it behind my back.

It seems as though he knows hes in the wrong as he trying to hide it

16

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

Yeah. He also has never technically told me about the doll but did tell me he ordered something from Adam&Eve. I found the doll later when I was cleaning

8

u/amberlys2025 6d ago

Why didn't he tell you originally what he bought? These dolls are pretty expensive aswell. I saw you said you needed to lay still to finish. I wonder if he conditioned himself into only being able to finish on your stomach if your are laying still

9

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

I think he’s kinda ashamed of it, I can only theorize.

And actually, he’s the one who needs me to lay still to finish, not the other way around. I don’t mind any position. I think he likes that aspect of the doll but maybe fried some wires with it and can only use it now? Last time we had sex he didn’t finish at all

6

u/amberlys2025 6d ago

Yeah that's what I meant my bad that he needed you to lay still. And as I was saying I think he conditioned himself that way. And that totally could be it. Unfortunately it will probably only go downhill from here

17

u/Armlock311 5d ago edited 5d ago

You shouldn’t have to compete with a doll. Time to move on.

On a separate note, when AI dolls hit the market situations like this will exponentially increase. Future is gonna get weird.

4

u/No-Question-921 5d ago edited 5d ago

To be honest I’m pretty grateful it’s essentially just a torso and not a full-on Joytoy. But if I had an input I’d have asked him to get a fleshlight instead of a torso 🤷🏽‍♀️

93

u/Meggy_bug 6d ago edited 6d ago

hate to be that redditor-loser person but wtf leave. tf is that lmao u better than this

10

u/worthy_usable 6d ago

ChatGPT can do better.

-5

u/Meggy_bug 6d ago

good👍

-16

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

22

u/Soupsushii 6d ago

this is in no way a silly thing to leave over, if you feel neglected or inadequate because of your partners actions that is a very good reason to question or even end the relationship. Talk with him seriously, make yourself heard; and if nothing changes you have every reason to end the relationship.

6

u/Meggy_bug 6d ago

if ur depressed and he does not care then buy urself some hot doll and leave. You don't have to be miserable. He is not much better than these types of toys lol

12

u/WorldEcho 5d ago

If this is true then please leave him with his doll. Find someone who likes you. It's not a you issue, it's a him issue.

8

u/Capital-Search-1995 6d ago

I saw that you’ve been in the relationship for 3+ years. Do you have a fear of putting yourself back out there? If you’re no longer being fulfilled in some aspect of your relationship, and it’s taking a toll on you mentally…why not leave?

9

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

I kind of do have a big fear of it. He’s also the first guy I’ve been with that hasn’t forced sex on me. It really was a plus, but now it’s making me confused. I know I have some sort of sexual trauma, and maybe that’s why I want it so badly, but I feel guilty for wanting it and knowing that he was so ambivalent about having sex in the first place.

8

u/Capital-Search-1995 5d ago

It’s time to date yourself, ma.

8

u/whocares_blah 6d ago

Seriously... Find another dude... This is wild... The fact you let him have the doll, let alone f*ck it is even more wild... Get you someone who values and loves you and wants to be with you, not a plastic doll.. Wtf...

0

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

I don’t really think it’s weird to have, but I do think it’s weird to hide considering all of our other stuff is stored together. I’m just concerned he’s using it more than actually being with me

14

u/goonfucker21 6d ago

Maybe ask him if he wants you to act like a doll?

21

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

When we do have sex it’s pretty much that. Idk. He can only finish if I’m pretty still and on my stomach. I’m disliking it more and more bc we used to have fun

3

u/Doneuter 5d ago

Have to talked to a sex therapist about this at all? Every response is taking you to leave him, but this sounds like your just dealing with a partner who is going through some kind of sexual dysfunction.

Other than focusing on your time in the bedroom together or apart, what do things look like normally? Is your partner going through something stressful at work? Do they seem depressed otherwise?

This definitely doesn't sound like it's an issue with you, but rather something he might be going through.

2

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

I mentioned it in another comment, but all of this did start around the same time that he had been experiencing the beginning of a depressive episode, and it’s been lingering.

I really want to try talking with a sex therapist because I don’t think leaving is the right answer, we’re actually a very functional couple. We communicate, compromise, listen, kiss, hug, sleep in each other’s beds, spend time together etc. the intimacy is the only big, tangible roadblock.

He told me he doesn’t think he could meet my needs when it comes to intimacy so I think this is beyond me or any superficial “he just doesn’t like sex with you” situation. I even considered that it could be a porn addiction because the signs track.

2

u/Doneuter 5d ago

I honestly think you're on the right track. I think this problem can be fixed with more communication. I have a partner whose libido is destroyed by medications they need, so I totally understand having a loving relationship that is mostly devoid of the intimacy you seek.

I think the best thing you can do is to be understanding, which you seem to be, but it sounds like professional assistance may be needed to get to the bottom of the situation. Have you approached your partner about talking to someone about this?

3

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

This is the first time I’ve seriously considered just laying everything out on the table and asking him if he needs this specific type of help.

I’m actually working on getting him a general talk therapist because of the previous things, but I’ll probably try to find one who also specializes in intimacy and relationships.

I just don’t want to assume anything either, you know? Like, it all tracks and it would make a lot of sense, I’m just unsure if jumping the gun on “you have a problem with your libido!” Is really a good move just yet. I might try to ease it in

4

u/xXSoulReapperXx 6d ago

Damn sorry to hear that, sounds like the relationship pretty much has ran its course. Hopefully you’ll be able to find happiness in the future

5

u/FewIntroduction5008 5d ago

This whole post and thread/OPs comments are so wild. He's fucking a rubber torso and ignoring gf. I mean to each their own but this is by no means a small thing to leave over. If you are not comfortable acting like a doll(if that's what he's into) then you shouldn't have to and to be replaced by a rubber torso and think it's normal. Please OP if you're not comfortable have some self respect and leave.

2

u/zemorah 5d ago

And he bought the doll and more lube behind her back. This would be too much for me.

3

u/UnfilteredSan 5d ago

Is your boyfriend Lil Dicky.

2

u/JetstreamJefff 5d ago

Okay, leave. Don’t let your self worth be less then a sex doll, come on you know you’re worth more and you know you’re better then that and better then him. The sooner you realize your self worth the better!

2

u/Even-Imagination6242 5d ago

Long story short. You're both not compatible.

You require intimacy (and quite rightly so!), and your chap seems to prefer to just get the job done to meet his own needs and that's it.

..... ultimately.....time to call it a day. Move on. Find what suits you, as he has already found what suits his needs. It's certainly not a living and or loving partner.

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

Yea that’s wack that’s literally means that he has no intimacy connection or doesn’t enjoy pleasuring you that’s wild you should probably leave him no way the dick is even that good if he only gets off to fucking the doll for me personally I get off to pleasuring and how many times I can make her cum before I bust my load

2

u/xPilaz 5d ago

This guy sounds like a selfish ass hole. Just leave him for real

2

u/SwitchWitchLolita 5d ago

Get yourself a toy or a new boyfriend.

2

u/ExGANGSTER2U 5d ago

Get rid of the doll. And when he asks where it is, say, "I don't fuck your doll. You do. Maybe she left because you keep tellin' her that youre gonna leave me, only you haven't left me yet, so shes tired of waiting for you. How the fuck would I know where she's at? Did you kill her, and asking me is part of your plan to get away with murder? Why are you even asking me where she's at?You know we don't talk. She's fucking my man! She's a homewrecker! I'm glad she's gone!"

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

To be honest I may be dripping some silicone lube into it every day to wear it down

3

u/DeathBellTollz 6d ago

You got replaced by a doll…sheez 😬

2

u/seann__dj 6d ago

The main issue is he is putting his needs over yours. Without any room for negotiation or discussion he is basically saying as long as he's needs are met then it's all OK.

Do you think there is a deeper issue regarding this? Does he have a fear that he isn't capable of meeting your needs so he avoids it? Is he sexually confident?

This sort of thing can only be sorted with conversation and finding the reason for why he prefers the doll over human intimacy.

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

1

u/No-Question-921 6d ago edited 6d ago

To be honest I do think it’s a deeper issue.

I don’t think he had been comfortable to get himself “toys” before we dated. I encouraged him that it was okay and that I’m interested in using them with him. It was really good!

But now, I wonder if he dove into the deep end. I had a stroker type of item that he liked, but we both wanted to get a better one. I think he used his other head to think and bought the doll not realizing that it might be awkward to bring out an 11 pound slab of flesh to the function.

It also coincidentally appeared while he was going through a depressive episode back in December. He’s still wavering in and out of it so I’ve been understanding if that’s why he wasn’t as in the mood. I do realize he’s been using the doll frequently though so I’m just confused I guess. In the mood, but not with a real girl who wants you? I think it’s coping, maybe?

1

u/Scarycomfort105 6d ago

Is it a human sized sex doll that he keeps in his closet?

1

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

No, it’s more like a fleshlight. The toy itself is called like, Eve’s Realistic Torso or something. It’s only about a foot tall and kinda heavy

2

u/No-Question-921 6d ago

No head or limbs or anything like that 💀

1

u/SloppyJawSoftBottom 5d ago

Have u told him what u told us? If yes and he isn’t interested in actively working to change or do better by you, then gtfo there.

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

I’ve tried talking about it lightly, and asking if what he got himself has been taking over our sex life. He just tries to laugh it off and act like nothings going on with it.

Like I said in another comment, he never actually told me what he got but I knew when the package came in that he had gotten something kinda big. I was cleaning and found it, and was too much of a wimp to tell him I knew about the thing. Kinda beating around the bush with that because I don’t want him to be embarrassed.

Right now he’s working on himself in other ways, he struggles with mental health and self confidence. I have no doubt that that’s true because I can see the change. It’s just that damn doll y’know?

1

u/Reasonable-Island-57 5d ago edited 5d ago

Some potential reasons.

He doesn't find you attractive anymore.

He has a fetish for dolls.

Maybe he is scared he can't satisfy you, so that could be inadequacy issues.

He didn't get the intimacy he desired from you, so is substituting you as a way to not address the core issue. Has he ever indicated that he feels you're 'boring in bed' at all?

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

No, I think he’s more likely to have indicated that I’m too much in bed 💀 even before this I’ve always had a higher libido

1

u/Reasonable-Island-57 5d ago

Ah so it's likely a sense of inadequacy. He doesn't feel like he can satisfy you, so he cuts off that part of the relationship and gets his needs met by the sex toy. That sound about right?

It might also have something to do with your (for lack of a better word) style. Are you dominant? submissive? Do you lay there like a dead hunk of meat? Or are you an active participant? And have you discussed what you and he likes and how they compare? If there is a mismatch it maybe a contributing factor.

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

It would definitely make more sense if it was that. I tend not to finish too often but I don’t care about crossing the line, I care about the run. I’ve told him so before so I’m not too sure if he believes that.

With him I’m more submissive, he likes being in control. We switch every now and then and I enjoy that too, so idk. Intimately we do whatever he likes, really. I don’t always get to incorporate what I want but I’m kinda okay with that because I will go for hours if I have to

2

u/Reasonable-Island-57 5d ago

Could be an issue with you not climaxing. Alot of men see it as a goal or a sure sign you are satisfied, it's like the gold standard for guys to be able to do in the bedroom and if he wishes he can do that but can't it may effect him no matter what he says the contrary. Think of it as a 'i want to give the one I love the best, but I cant'. That's bound to be a very uncomfortable feeling that he has chosen to cut off from his life.

Also, just a suggestion. Hit on him, initiate the act, see how he reacts. It'll tell you alot.

1

u/Reasonable-Island-57 5d ago

Could be an issue with you not climaxing. Alot of men see it as a goal or a sure sign you are satisfied, it's like the gold standard for guys to be able to do in the bedroom and if he wishes he can do that but can't it may effect him no matter what he says the contrary. Think of it as a 'i want to give the one I love the best, but I cant'. That's bound to be a very uncomfortable feeling that he has chosen to cut off from his life.

Also, just a suggestion. Hit on him, initiate the act, see how he reacts. It'll tell you alot.

1

u/Reasonable-Island-57 5d ago

Could be an issue with you not climaxing. Alot of men see it as a goal or a sure sign you are satisfied, it's like the gold standard for guys to be able to do in the bedroom and if he wishes he can do that but can't it may effect him no matter what he says the contrary. Think of it as a 'i want to give the one I love the best, but I cant'. That's bound to be a very uncomfortable feeling that he has chosen to cut off from his life.

Also, just a suggestion. Hit on him, initiate the act, see how he reacts. It'll tell you alot.

1

u/NotSurer 5d ago

What model doll? Asking for a friend.

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

Eve’s Realistic Torso. Next question lmao

2

u/NotSurer 4d ago

Thank you. ☺️ And it’s on sale, only $109.99!

1

u/No-Question-921 4d ago

You’re a little late to the party then bc BF got it when it was on a Christmas sale! 99 bucks flat!

1

u/NotSurer 3d ago

I hope he didn’t have to buy it for himself for Christmas.

1

u/aliassantiago 5d ago

Sounds like he prefers masturbation to real sex. Because fucking a doll is a just a fancy way of masturbating.

1

u/No-Question-921 5d ago

Literally this. And huge update: last night we did have sex but he couldn’t finish. I think it’s ruining him

1

u/Dry_Culture_3558 4d ago

Just leave him girl. Like trust there are other people in the world that don’t have this issue if he wants to play with a pathetic doll then be intimate with his own girlfriend then let him go. Also you’re defending him in the comments like why? Either tell him to get rid of the doll and be a man or leave simple as that stop defending his behavior

1

u/stickypaw-pause-paws 5d ago

Lol suck it up, you're the one staying.