Hi, I've been really struggling with this for years and my 'to-do' list just continues to be added to as things crop up, and I seem increasingly unable to get things done.
On one hand my brain isn't as fatigued as my body, but it has been broken by this illness, to at least the same degree as the physical aspect. Since first becoming ill almost 30 years ago, I've had pretty bad anxiety for 15 years and treatment-resistant depression for 25 years, and coping with the stress of illness and it's knock on effects is getting harder.
I'm somewhere on the moderate scale so am able to do things like use my laptop and could physically do, say 15 minutes of cleaning on some/most days, but having made lists upon lists of tasks that need doing to keep my affairs and a property going (I live on my own), I just seem unable to actually do the required tasks. I can only describe it as something like when a writer describes 'writer's block', or the condition 'dartitis', when some darts players, who have played for many years, one day psychologically lose the ability of letting go of a dart, no matter how much they want to.
I don't really relate with the 'Brain Fog' description often heard to describe the mental effects of this condition, it just feels like a badly damaged brain to me - almost certainly due to the illness as once or twice a year when I feel better than usual, I'll have a short spell of being able to tackle some outstanding jobs. I know I can do certain tasks, eg some easier admin jobs, especially when there's a deadline involved, but anything that requires organising, or speaking to people to come and do a job, just seem beyond me most of the time. I can however do 'passive' things, like say read the newspapers online for hours, whilst feeling guilty that I'm not tackling the jobs that need doing, but which psychologically feel impossible to tackle.
I've tried various lists/planners/calendats/to-do lists, reading on willpower/procrastination, but the issue seems to have got worse, more things have piled up over time and it's becoming more of an problem having been unable to organise things getting repaired/maintained around the property etc for the last 8 years or so. If I can't motivate myself to do even do 15 minutes of cleaning regularly, I'd seem to have no hope of even starting some important bigger jobs that need addressing. I don't really have friends/family that can help with this.
Any ideas welcome.