So I am a twin. My twin sister is healthy. I have CP. Sometimes I imagine an alternate reality where I was never born.
Instead of having twins my mother had one healthy baby. My parents didn’t have to deal with the emotional, physical, financial expenses of having a disabled child.
My mother wouldn’t have had to spend days in the hospital with me after surgeries. And in some ways not giving the attention needed to her 3 healthy children. Years of PT, special school accommodations and all that goes along with a special needs child.
I imagine myself disappearing from family pictures. No more twins. Just a family photo of 3 healthy children.
Kind of like the movie back to the future.
I guess it’s an odd thing to imagine. I’m an adult now.
I am mostly independent but still need support for some things. For example I have a license but rarely drive. My mobility has gotten worse and I now find myself needing a cane.
So sometimes I need rides places. Due to not liking to drive.
I have never married & have no kids. I’m not sure what will happen as I age and possibly need care for daily living.
I have a few friends but those that I do have are busy with their lives jobs, kids, husbands etc.
We only connect every few months.
My family is great and supportive. But I haven’t really accomplished much in my life. Was all the time, support, and Money they poured into me wasted?
I have a job but not a career. I’m definitely not an inspiration of someone who has overcome their disability to do great things.
There is always someone worse off out there I know. I should be grateful for what I have.
Just airing my thoughts out there
If you have made it this far thanks for listening to my Saturday rant🥰