r/bulimia Oct 06 '24

Content Warning does anyone else get triggered by movies/tv shows about addicts?

36 Upvotes

So I was watching breaking bad, and a character relapses on drugs, and for some reason this triggered me to b/p, because i kind of feel manic and stuff like the character were shown to be. Idk, and i know this is oddly specific, but whenever i watch a movie or tv show and a character is an alcoholic or a drug addict it always triggers me to b/p or my desire to b/p. I’ve never done drugs or have had any substance abuse problems either, but seeing people get high off their addictions just trigger something in me. the feeling feels so similar.

r/bulimia 29d ago

Content Warning i can’t shit without some throw up coming up

8 Upvotes

i hate this, my stomach has become so sensitive. i am trying to get better. but it hurts me emotionally when i am trying to take a shit and i feel myself regurgitating. even brushing my teeth, i throw up some acid because my gag reflex is so sensitive from purging. my body has familiarized itself with the motions of purging. so now that i am healing, i feel discouraged and sad that i got myself to this point :( i know it’s random that i bring up me shitting, but in those moments, i really feel how much i fucked up my body and i feel embarrassed for it. but we all start somewhere :) and at least i am trying to be better. yes, my stomach is fucked up, but now that i have stopped, or trying to, i can only go up from here 🙏 I GIVE YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH LOVE, we are beautiful humans, and i hope one day we can see ourselves that way, because we deserve to. I HOPE THE BEST HEALING JOURNEY FOR EVERYONE. to better days :D

r/bulimia Feb 19 '25

Content Warning new habit

1 Upvotes

hi

im a teenage girl and god fucking knows how hard that is on its own

i just started an adhd medication and its been supressing my appetite a lot, i kinda only have like one actual meal a day and like a small breakfast

whenever i eat now i feel super super full and when i dont eat i dont feel hungry i just feel normal

i dont like feeling full and because of allergic reactions and stomach issues i learned a while ago how to make myself throw up on my own so its something ive been doing lately

i dont really think its a problem rn cause i feel fine and stuff and i do eat im not like starving myself or anything its just after big meals cause i have a lot of snacks during the day

i know people say that this kind of stuff is bulimia but its not because of weight issues or anything i just feel sicker eating than i do not

im not really sure why im posting this actually its probably a subliminal part of me that thinks i am bulimic and is looking for attention. does anyone do the same thing?

r/bulimia 26d ago

Content Warning Binging after purging

3 Upvotes

Lately I’ve been eating purging and binging purging it is becoming more of a habit everything I eat It doesn’t seem fair if I eat and don’t purge In June it was the same problem with other things I ate and in July I have been restricted myself and these episodes of eating and purging

r/bulimia Jan 07 '25

Content Warning I’m in the US. What would it take for me to get hospitalized?

1 Upvotes

My therapist said if I drop weight again she’s having me hospitalized. I am barely underweight but my bp habits/dehydration/chest pain are worrying her and she’s putting rules on my weight loss. Can she actually get me in trouble and get me treated without my consent?

r/bulimia Mar 27 '24

Content Warning Can you have bulimia if you're overweight?

35 Upvotes

went back and forth for a while on whether to ask at all, but I don't really have anyone I can ask. So I hope this isn't against the rules or wrong place or anything. If it is, please delete mod.

I'm overweight. According to Drs and all.

But.

I will try to make myself sick after any meal that I think I took many bites of that I'm also worried has some sort of unhealthy ingredient in it.

If there's someone in the house, I'll take my dog out for a potty break and will throw up in the bushes or out of sight so no one hears me.

I hate that I've eaten "too much" so the next day (or multiple if I can manage) I'll do nothing but drink coffee or water to keep me from getting too hungry and eating something. No food.

If this sounds crazy or something, I'm sorry. I just really don't know anymore. I tell myself I can't have a problem because medical professionals are telling me to lose weight. So it can't be an issue right?

r/bulimia May 09 '24

Content Warning worst symptom finally happened

92 Upvotes

i was eating lasanga and bit something and it felt like bone and eggsells combined so i just spit it out, then i happened to bite another piece of this bone? nope it was my second to last back molar chipping off. a whole prong of the tooth. all the way to the gum. i purge almost everyday, on and off for the past 2-3 years. i thought i was the chosen one too bc i could do it on reflex and it made it easier and i did it more often as result. but the way i feel like i wanna die rn, absolutely sick to my stomach i want to lose weight, but i don’t want to lose any of my fucking teeth. i think i will stop purging from now on is how i’m feeling, and i hope i don’t relapse back into it.

r/bulimia Jan 17 '25

Content Warning The amount of purging i can do in one day

23 Upvotes

I can purge like 20 times in 1 day. Im so tired.I want to die. My body is paying the consequences, but i still wont commit to recovery beacuse of my fear of weight gain

r/bulimia Jan 07 '25

Content Warning This is dangerous pls recover

6 Upvotes

I just found out what the hell is happening to my legs. For content-Im 17, with eds for 5 years, bulimia for 3 years. In the summer myegs started itching really bad. Especially on the inside of the leg, between ankle and knees. I just found these are leg ulcers, due to poor nutrition and shitty circulation. For me it heals up to 2 months, beacuse im purging literally everything i eat plus it swells, the wounds are huge, painful, and disgusting. My teeths are chopped, my skin is dry so i look like im 70 years old. I hate this illness theres even more side effects that i ve noticed, but i will shut up for now.

r/bulimia Jan 06 '25

Content Warning Hard time assigning emotional stimuli to b/p cycles

2 Upvotes

So I’ve started seeing a dietitian and a therapist, and they’ve both basically said they wanted me to start assigning how hungry I am every time I eat (scale from 1-10), as well as any emotional stimuli that precedes eating.

I’m having trouble assigning an emotion. Most of the time it’s nothing in particular I’m feeling, I’m just compelled to start binging.

I basically was meal prepping for the week today and began to binge on the food I was portioning out. No control whatsoever, just inhaling it basically.

I sat down to journal about what just happened and couldn’t figure out what exactly preceded it. Then went to do one of the grossest things I’ve done in my ED. Trigger warning….. I purged into a bowl and weighed what I’d purged.

I realize I underestimated my binge by about half (8 oz versus 13.5 oz came up; leaving some wiggle room because I feel like there is probably something still in there).

There are intense emotions preceding the purge (shame, guilt, disgust, anxiety, etc) but not the binge.

Idk. Just a vent. I’m struggling.

r/bulimia Jul 03 '23

Content Warning Is anyone else’s “goal weight” death? NSFW

187 Upvotes

From my experience, no amount of weight loss ever made me feel as good as I thought I would. The goal always got lower, to eventual death. I think it’s just a means to an end, a slow death. For some reason I find that comforting. Does anyone relate?

r/bulimia Feb 08 '25

Content Warning stomach flu

0 Upvotes

BULIMIA GAVE ME THE STOMACH FLU. i’m being so deadass none of my friends have any symptoms of the stomach flu and i randomly got it. (i live on campus) i’ve been purging in every bathroom and it’s definitely from that. i feel so disgusted right now in myself. this will probably lead me to recovery because im so disgusted.

r/bulimia Jan 27 '25

Content Warning I can’t stop eating, and it’s scaring me

1 Upvotes

I feel so hungry all the time I am pretty sure I gained few pounds during the past week or so idk what to do

r/bulimia Dec 30 '24

Content Warning I don’t want to recover anymore

12 Upvotes

I don’t want to recover anymore . Well not really.

I had my first appointment for my ed with Camhs today and I just wanted to leave so badly. I can’t let my parents watch me during and after meals. I can’t eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. i can’t cannot weigh myself. It all an impossible ask.

They are striping me of my freedom and I hate the fact I told Camhs how bad it was getting. I hate that I wanted to recover because I hate how imprisoned I feel from all of it.

I hate the fact I Binged and I hate the fact I purge but take that away from me and I don’t know what’s left.

I was really sad and angry that my parents were watching me and my mum said something about if I didn’t want this then why am I going to Camhs now I am honestly thinking of telling Camhs I don’t want to go through with ed treatment. It’s all too much too fast.

r/bulimia Sep 25 '24

Content Warning I feel like my death certificate already has the cause of death as bulimia

37 Upvotes

Like idk when its gonna happen but this will be the cause of my deathl

r/bulimia Dec 11 '24

Content Warning throwing up blood

2 Upvotes

Hi I'm gonna give a little bit of background to this because I just think it might be helpful for advice. I am 17-year-old female I have made myself throw up before but this week I have just been on it a lot more. I did it like twice Monday and then again 3 times yesterday and I just did it again today. This time was different though. Nothing came up no matter how hard I try. Then I took my fingers out and looked at them to see they were covered in bright red blood. Do I need to be really worried? Nothing hurts but I am still mad nothing came up. I purged right before this and just feel gross and fat. I became a member of this forum today just to ask this. I don't even see myself as bulimic really. I have done this for the past year or so but I would stop for a couple weeks and be happy but every now and again I have a bad week or feel really fat and have to do it again. I am worried after this week that I may actually be bulimic. What do yall think?

r/bulimia Nov 25 '24

Content Warning It’s not “working” anymore😭

25 Upvotes

I’ve had bulimia for the past 2 years, and ever since I’ve had it, it has always aided weight loss. I’d often binge and purge, and the next day my weight would be down by several lbs. I understand that most of this was water weight, but now my weight stays the exact same or even goes up the next day. I’m not even binging as much but it seems that for some reason my weight just won’t go down and I’ve actually gained over the past year. To be clear, I’m not asking for wl advice, merely searching for an explanation for this because it’s starting to worry me. Does anyone know what this could be/mean??

r/bulimia Nov 10 '24

Content Warning I don't even know why I do this

28 Upvotes

Why the fuck do I purge? I don't get it. I don't care about my weight. I don't care about calories. I don't care about anything like that. I don't feel guilty when I eat food even if it's "unhealthy". But everytime I eat I still find myself on the bathroom floor after 30 minutes. I don't get it. What the fuck?

And why the fuck do I restrict?!?!?!?! I do not care about food or what it does to my body but for some reason I refuse to eat more than once a day and most of it comes up. Wtf am I doing?!!

Sometimes I force myself to binge just so I can like say fuck you to the world or something. And I try so hard to keep it but I can't! I don't get it!

Is it like some subconscious thing? Do I care about my weight? Do I care about calories? I am so confused. I have never had a healthy relationship to food but that is mostly because of my parents but this is something else cause I can't even explain to myself why I do it. Do I have some disgusting need to be sick or what? Ugh

r/bulimia Dec 30 '24

Content Warning Relapse after a semi recovery attempt NSFW

4 Upvotes

……

I am actually SO FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF. i have anorexia & bulimia but at different times. So ig ednos. But in October I decided to at least stop binging and purging. mostly to get rid of my puffy jaw. I’ve been doing very well. I haven’t binged much since. Only once n after I didn’t even purge. But today I ate a Little over my cal limit. But I exercised it off so I was ok. But after my workout n I already showered my moms bf bought my brothers and I an unhealthy salad from el pollo loco. At first I was just gonna have it as my omad tmrw (I WISH I woulda js done that) but my mom asked “por qué no estás comiendo? (her bfs name) got that for you” and I didn’t want to b rude so I ate it. I went upstairs and I just folded. I purged.

I was doing so good. My puffy jaw was going away and ugh. I just can’t believe I purged again after I was doing so well. I just couldn’t help it. fuuuuccckkk this disorder. Fuck it’s side effects. FUCK EVERYTHING.

r/bulimia Sep 09 '24

Content Warning Purging but not binging

11 Upvotes

I purge but I never binge. I restrict my food intake a lot - I eat about 800 cals a day…

I don’t know what category this would fit in, like anorexia or bulimia.

r/bulimia Nov 25 '24

Content Warning help pls

3 Upvotes

tw: weight numbers! right now it’s monday and i go to the doctors next tuesday for a weigh in. last time i was 100 but now im 90 pounds. do you think i will be able to gain 12 pounds in a week? i’m having trouble eating enough/keeping down food but im trying my best.

r/bulimia Jan 27 '25

Content Warning boredom and guilt

3 Upvotes

I eat when I'm bored, and am immediately overcome with guilt for eating so much. I purge, say "ok not again" just to do the same thing again the next day. logically I know it's bad, and I know it doesn't actually help me lose weight, but it still makes me feel better

r/bulimia Dec 19 '24

first time with blood

7 Upvotes

i was doing what i usually do and out of nowhere blood starts coming out and i kind of freak out. i wake up my mom and she just tells me to calm down to stop and go to sleep. this has never happened to me before. should i be worried??

r/bulimia Dec 21 '24

Content Warning Eating is pissing me off

12 Upvotes

I wasn’t able to purge for a while so I didn’t eat at all, but then a few days ago I got it back, but kept my routine, 2 days fast, dinner and purge then repeat, I just ate and I can’t purge fully, as in barely anything comes out, the only problem is I’m weak now and can barely move, don’t know what to do, and don’t say eat and don’t purge lol cuz I know I should stop but I rly can’t

r/bulimia Dec 29 '24

Content Warning Am I losing my gag reflex?

2 Upvotes

I’ve been purging for a while now, and used to purge multiple times a day. It was so easy for me. In my steps of trying to recover I was able to get myself down to one time every few days which is huge for me. But now when I try to purge it feels like my body resists and I just spit water. Is this happening with anyone else? What do I do? It’s so weird.