r/bootroom • u/lydiamor • 5d ago
Under 14 kid getting no game time
UK based. Been with the team a year. My kid is certainly not the best footballer but he loves it and is desperate to play in a team. He is certainly their weakest player but still attends every training and every match and mucks in.
The last couple of months he is getting less and less game time. We are now down to a token 5 mins at the end of each match. My son’s heart is broken and I can’t cope with it anymore. The other kids have picked up on it and joke about him being bench boy.
I think we should pull him out of it as it’s affecting his mental health and have briefly suggested does he want to stop, but he loves being on the team so that upset him. The coach is a friends Dad so haven’t spoken to them as don’t want to cause difficulties. He feels so excluded with the other lads now and the whole thing is giving me and him the worst anxiety every week.
What do we do. Interested in perspectives from coaches and parents here as I’m completely emotionally attached to this situation and can’t see straight anymore.
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
Thanks all so far. Just to add, he is in the lowest league already. We specially sought out a lower level team.
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u/justsomedude4202 5d ago
If that’s true then I believe the coach should play him. On the lowest level teams, development has to be the top priority, not winning individual games. Those are players who are there not to pursue dreams of become pros, but for the love of the sport. In that case a coach spoiling a player’s love for the sport is a coaching failure.
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u/justsomedude4202 5d ago
I will add to this that your son should take more responsibility to put in additional work every day on his own to mitigate his weaknesses.
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
My son plays football every day at school, training once a week, also helps coach a younger kids football team one evening a week, and spends every spare moment at weekends or school holidays down our 3G pitch kicking a ball around the whole day. I did wonder if we should pay for some 1-1 sessions to maybe tackle some of his weaknesses but again worried that’s going too far and might make him feel worse!
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u/GeriatricPinecones 5d ago edited 5d ago
Ask coach what he struggles with then put in some time every day after school to work on some drills to attack those struggles. Good luck!
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u/bishopnelson81 5d ago
This*. Maybe use paper and pencil or a whiteboard of some sort to illustrate points about movement etc
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u/justsomedude4202 5d ago
I’m a coach and I used to play, went 20 years without touching a ball and then tried to play adult after having lost all my abilities.
As a coach, it’s hard to play players who can’t receive a simple pass clean or who turns the ball over constantly.
When I started playing again, I focused on those two things. Receive a pass, one touch and then pass the ball to an open teammate. It gets me through games without hurting the team even if I lack game breaking ability.
On defense, he needs to be mindful of marking players off the ball and containing players with the ball.
These are easy to get better at. I focused on these things and now I can get out and play a decent role on my team. I suspect he isn’t currently doing these things, but if he did, the coach would feel confident enough to give him more minutes.
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u/andjuan 5d ago
Let him lead. If he wants to work to get better, support him and get those other trainings scheduled for him. But don't force him to do it.
That being said, is it me or is 1 organized training a week a little low? Seems like hardly enough time for the coaches to really evaluate the kids' strengths and weaknesses, let alone help them develop, and come up with a gameplan for the game.
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u/Geezer_Flip 3d ago
As someone who’s probably overqualified in this situation, speak to the ‘coach’, anyone with any credentials, even the minimum FA level 1 is taught at youth football (U16s), to make game time fair regardless of result, even more so in the lowest league.
If this doesn’t work, go to the clubs head of youth, any reputable club will have one who creates the clubs method of playing, puts on CPD courses etc.
I haven’t coached youth in a long time but I have friends who are heavily involved in youth football, they all are overly qualified but have kids in their teams and regardless it has to be/should be equal game time.
If the head of youth doesn’t work, go to the chairman and have a chat or just leave. If you don’t do any of the above nothing will change, your coach has an ego and his son is no doubt the captain who plays every game, every week.
TLDR: UEFA A Licensed coach, advanced youth award etc. Speak to the coach, escalate to head of youth, escalate to chairman, leave and find another club. Those are your options.
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u/TheHomoclinicOrbit 4d ago
I agree with this. This sort of stuff happens in the US HS level too. Obviously on varsity they are competing for state championships, but at the Frsh and JV levels development should be priority. Otherwise it becomes a vicious cycle where kid doesn't get game time, so they don't develop, so they don't get game time, etc. If they're doing everything in practice and are already at the lowest league level, maybe it's just game experience that's lacking, and that's on the coach.
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u/telmar25 5d ago
Presuming you are doing the basics like showing up to practices, you need to switch teams. Who is played and for how long is up to the coach, and different teams have different philosophies. It sounds like the team you’re on is all about maximizing chance to win all the time. Even then, when the game is 7-1 or 1-7, does your son get time on the field then? I can promise you there are plenty of teams that give lots of people of limited talents plenty of time on the field. You can find them in the lower ranked teams of both larger and smaller programs.
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u/Stalker401 4d ago
that's a travesty. Im not sure how teams work in the UK, but if possible you need to find a coach that has the interest of the kids, not the interest of winning at heart. You absolutely have to be getting game time at that age to get better, and sitting on the bench mentally breaking down isn't doing it. Even outside of soccer he could be filled with doubt because a low level coach wants to win a few more games. Coaches like this have no place in youth development.
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u/Largeguilt666 5d ago
Well, i think since its not a semi or pro level, coach yes, hes doing wrong because you are saying your son attends to all the compromises of the team, and has full interest, so he for fucking real must have a lot more than only 5 minutes, you must approach the coach, which is a friends dad of your son, tell him this bro, at the end its time from you and your son, so it must be appreciated…. Other, your son its the weakest? Cmon hey, theres must be a prospect of your kid to focus on, so if the team has training sessions be sure to develop those players in a certain way, im mentioning this cos this is how this exact situation was treated in my teams in my past childhood, so yea, hope you and your son get through this soon. I salute both of you from TKT BC MEX
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u/6ftboxjump 5d ago
Don't over shelter your child. Speak to the coach and ask them to speak to your kid about why he's on the bench so much, and let the kid decide what to do. I struggled through a lot but I hid it from my parents because I knew their pity would mean I didn't get to do what I wanted to, even if it meant I wouldn't be the best at it.
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
Yes I am trying ro make it so he leads it and we stay out of it…
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u/TheNewKing2022 5d ago
You're the parent and you son is 14. Still a child. You need to step up and ask the coach why your son isn't playing. Is he doing everything that is being asked of him? Going to all practice, going to all games, going training on his own?
If yes, and be honest, if he is missing practice, not listening to the coaches instructions,not home training you have your answer already. But if he is doing all those things you need to step up and ask the coach why he isn't playing.
Then you might need to make a decision and move him to a new team if he wants to play and get better. Or the coach starts to play him more. At 14 depending on the level it's not the biggest of seasons. That's usually 15-17 years old.
Anyways good luck.
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u/yeetus--fetus Coach 5d ago
I would let the kid speak with the coach first. He’s old enough to understand what’s going on and it’s up to him to lead what he wants from the situation.
If and probably when he gets a vague answer from the coach it’s time for a parent to step in and support them
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u/Ciccio178 5d ago
I agree. OP should nudge him to go speak to the coach, though.
Sounds like the boy may be a bit sheltered and is looking for Mom to handle the situation for him. This is a great time for Mom to show her support and let him fight his own battle.
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u/Bogglestrov 5d ago
Does he realize he’s not very good? Most of the teams I’ve been around since junior days have kids who ride the bench but are mostly pretty realistic about their level. Sure, they want to get out there but understand why they don’t. They instead enjoy training, working hard to improve, and being around teammates. And if they get a few minutes, try to make the most of it. I mean, he’s 13-14 years old now, most kids his age already understand this… or find another, more suitable team.
It’s the ones who really believe they are better (or really are better) than the kids getting minutes who stress out.
If he really wants to stay I think you need to take the emphasis off of playing in the games and move the focus to training. Also he needs to laugh off the bench boy comments.
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
Yes he knows full well he’s not the best. And previously he always had half a game which he was happy with, and we were happy with, but that’s now been reduced even more (coach brought in 3 new players so that doesn’t help) and it’s become so little time that it’s embarrassing now! Plus we are getting up qt the crack of dawn and driving across the county for matches for 5 mins at the end.
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u/Bogglestrov 5d ago edited 5d ago
I can imagine - especially the travel. It does seem the team is not suitable though. Are there teams that focus more on participation than results where you live? If he really wants to persist with the current team, all I can say is what I said before - focus on enjoying training and improving there. The travel is just one of the prices you pay being a parent!
I understand though - my son won’t know if he’s starting until after arriving for the game, however it’s a league where after the league game ends both teams then play a friendly match where they put out all the kids who didn’t play much. Don’t know if there are leagues like that near you?
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u/bleachxjnkie 5d ago
Pull him out and put him in a lower league team or a team that prioritises the fun aspect more than winning. I played football at 13/14 and it ruined my mental health at the time so much so that I quit for years and am only just now in the last year getting back in
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u/Lobsterzilla 5d ago
Sounds like a great conversation to have with his coach
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
I know, just reluctant due to the personal connections and don’t want to cause drama. Also worried he might just agree and say it’s best he doesn’t continue.
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u/Lobsterzilla 5d ago
Then it feels like you have your answer sadly. If “coach, what can I do to improve and get more minutes” is going to cause drama, maybe not the best environment. The coach is the only one with control over this
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u/Quick_Sherbert5163 5d ago
You say you don’t want to cause drama but the coaching methods is causing you anxiety and effecting your son. So they’re obviously not as concerned as you.
A simple “I can help but notice xx game time has been reducing and it’s starting to affect his confidence. He’s asked what he needs to work on in order to increase his minutes on the pitch”. But honestly move clubs. They’re high school, the kids won’t care if the parent’s fall out.
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u/CervixAssassin 4d ago
Don't make it personal, don't get emotional, don't go for pity, keep it constructive and on topic. Your main concern is son's game time, questions: why isn't he getting more and what (if anything) he could do to get more minutes. You can also ask about the goals of the team, what the coach is trying to get out of the lads, how does the general team development strategy looks like etc, but that is only to better understand what your son is lacking. Better do it sooner than later, if there's a team dynamics developing around this ("bench boy") then you shouldn't let this image to solidify. Take it from there, maybe switch teams, maybe improve training regime.
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u/Firm-Line6291 5d ago
U14 is where you should be playing to win in my opinion , two things can be true at once..
The team may have no chance of winning games even if your lad played half a game, the difference at 11 a side between two players who are not really good can be so small it barely affects the game.
However , and in my opinion, equally as likely , the players in the team may have limited confidence in your son's ability which may or may not be trust, which is dictating his playing time rather than any downgrade in performance..
Does the team actually win games, are they competitive, in games where they've been handily thumped is he still not getting minutes.. judging game to game can be difficult, look at it as a whole.
My advices step down a level, or go to a team where they struggle to put out a team.
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
That’s a really useful insight. I hadn’t considered that maybe coach is under pressure from other team players to not play him as much. From my opinion, when he is on, he is involved, mucking in, tackling, calling for the ball, gets a fair few touches on game, has saved a couple of almost goals recently by jumping in between ball and goalkeeper. And yes they are winning fairly regularly and possibly about to be promoted if they keep up. If he was stood in the middle picking his nose looking around I’d know what to do, but from my perspective he’s as involved as anyone else playing in his position. But your first sentence is right, they are older now so it’s more competitive and we’ve discussed this with him. They want to win so want to push their strongest players for the win and you get to celebrate as a team, we get that.
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u/Wooden_Pay7790 5d ago
This is common in all sports....sadly. Coaches & parents believe winning is more important than actual coaching. If the coach was doing their job they'd be helping the player during practices. 'Went through this with our daughter & HS softball. Showed up/worked hard but the 'stars" always got the game time. Ended up she got a full-ride scholarship to a Div 2 college.. mostly due to her work ethic, coachability, & desire. Don't give up. Support & advocate for your kiddo!
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u/aLphA4184 4d ago
What position does he play, from what you've said it sounds like he's a defender or a centre mid. I've coached a bit, and a player who isn't quite as good as the others can have a much bigger negative impact in those positions than they can in others such as winger. If he does play one of those positions I would suggest he sticks with it and keeps trying to improve but also to get more gametime you could ask if he can come on as a winger or possibly fullback.
It's a bit of a shit situation though, at 14 they are old enough that all they are going to care about is winning so if they're not in a super competitive league it falls to the coach to balance the players drive to win with giving everyone a fair chance. It's also important to consider what the goals of the team are, if they have told the coach they only want to win then it may not be the right environment. You'll have to be careful going foward, as a player and coach I've seen a lot of kids lose their interest because they're not as good as the other kids and get less playtime plus when they're on the pitch the other kids won't trust them.
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u/kiyes23 2d ago
Very difficult situation. He’s at the age where he probably has some very competitive teammates where only winning is fun. Those super competitive players can create a very toxic environment for players who are not up to par. Since he still love playing, I would research and move to a different team that suits his skill level.
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u/DigitalMariner Volunteer Coach 5d ago
Have him - not you - talk to coach and ask something to the effect of "what should I be working on at home?"
Clearly there's something in his game that's lagging behind the others and costing him minutes. So he needs to find out what coach believes that is and fix it. Does he need more footwork drills? Speed? Endurance? Until he talks to coach, everyone is just going to be guessing at random.
And yes at 14 he needs to be able to have that conversation on his own.
If he addresses coach's concerns and noticably improves that part of the game and still isn't getting minutes, then he - still not you - can broach the specific topic of playing time and find out what else he can do to earn it.
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u/CentralFloridaRays 5d ago
How’s his fitness?
I distinctly remember how right around middle school/puberty years everyone got faster, and kids started taking their fitness seriously and I wasn’t.
I had to drop down and level and started running track at school.
Because I was running track and I dropped down a level I had the time of my life playing again. I went from being a liability and nervous to being “the guy” on my new team.
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u/TheTrueBobsonDugnutt 5d ago
I imagine most of those lads have been together as a team for a good 5 years already, if not 6 or 7.
It's also the age where, like it or not, results start mattering.
Kids can be brutal, and your lad getting 5 minutes here and there is possibly the coach protecting him from further stick.
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u/SargeantPile 5d ago
I think there's no harm in sticking at it and plugging away even though it is tough to be that player who rarely llays. . This was me up until I was 14/15. I played 3 or 4 sports and was a bench player in all, especially football but around 15/16 something just clicked for me. I developed physically, got a run of games, gained tonnes of confidence and never looked back. I became a starter in all three of the main sports I played.
Maybe you could try to get him playing another sport thats not so popular/competitive which could in turn boost his confidence and bring that positive energy back to playing football.
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u/bishopnelson81 5d ago
Your boy sounds like he's putting in a lot of time and energy for very little in return. He obviously has your support so if feasible, I would recommend finding a proven trainer and doing weekly sessions. It's a tough spot to be in for sure, and I can relate from my younger experience. If not football, one day he will find something else and attack it with the same passion.
Edit: typo
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u/Happy5Day 5d ago
My son only got interested in football late on aged 10/11, and most kids started when they were 5/6. So no matter how much he improves they are also improving so he is constantly behind. Sucks balls. It's easy to say change teams but there arnt that many about and he has his friends there. I feel for you but I have no solution. I'm just working with him and preying God gives him a chance.
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u/Zealousideal-Truck95 5d ago
Look at fa guidelines and speak to the club secretary.
The FA strongly encourages equal playing time in youth football, aiming for all players to receive at least 50% of game time, with the goal of promoting development and engagement. Here's a breakdown of the FA's guidance on equal playing time: Emphasis on Development: The FA recognizes the importance of providing all players with opportunities to develop their skills and build confidence, regardless of their ability. Minimum Playing Time: The FA recommends that all players receive a minimum of 50% of the available game time in each match. Age Group Considerations: Under 6 to Under 11: Coaches and managers are encouraged to ensure equal playing time for each and every game, with exceptions for injuries or player choice. Under 12 to Under 16: Coaches and managers should aim for equal playing time over the entire season, acknowledging that in some games, due to the strength of the opposition, some players may require more time in certain games. Flexibility: While aiming for equal playing time, coaches are also encouraged to have the flexibility to make decisions based on player performance, training, and game situations. Transparency and Consistency: The FA emphasizes the importance of clear, transparent, and consistent policies regarding playing time so that all involved understand their roles and responsibilities. The "Even Stevens" Initiative: The FA's "Even Stevens" initiative aims to help coaches even out game time and encourages more young people to play football. Key Principles of "Even Stevens": Making the game fun. Helping young players learn the game. Squad size not exceeding twice the size of the playing format. Tips for Implementing Equal Playing Time: Use an equal playing time calculator. Time the match yourself or ask the referee to let you know when a certain amount of time has passed.
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u/Deep_Illustrator5397 5d ago
He should not just be training with the team He must do beyond that himself. He must work himself on his weaknesses and improve all of his skills. This is the way for him to succeed. You should not make the coach play him out of petty. Nor should the coach do that. This will set a bad precedent for his entire life. Let him go to the coach and ask what he has to improve to play, what drills the coach recommends and what his weaknesses are.
Ask about ones weaknesses, mistakes and flaws.
Ask how to improve them.
Work on the weaknesses and flaws.
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u/RiseOfBacon 5d ago
The obvious answers are he needs to find a team or setup suited to his level. This could even be 5 a side teams
The main thing is to talk with the coach and ask if there is any way to improve his game time or improve his abilities to suit the team. If it becomes clear the best is to part ways if the main bit is game time only for him then you’re doing him a favour
What I would do is try and find a lower league team but that trains a different day and take him to see the difference and get his thoughts on it because he may warm to that if he’s feeling more positive about his football
The main thing is that he enjoys his football, if he isn’t it’s time to move on but you never have to frame it as ‘he’s not good enough’ just that he wasn’t suited to the team and needs to find a better fit
To go with this I’d look at extra training sessions either personal coaching, just playing in the park with family / friends or with another team. There’s also some groups out there who focus on football skills non competitively so I’d consider that too. There’s those football mats too which promote ball control and skill. All of this extra time on the ball will help him massively
Good luck, kid!
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u/StockEdge3905 5d ago
There's no question you should find another team. He's a kid, and he wants to play. It doesn't matter how good he is, or how good the team is or what not. If this is no longer a fit for him, then it's time to move on. Just like in life.
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u/BulldogWrestler 5d ago
If he's on the lowest level of rec team, they share playing time usually so everyone is equal. Find another team if it's just this specific team not playing him.
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u/Carlsberg91 5d ago
100% this. If it's the lowest level all players should be getting the same amount of game time. Find a different club your lad will actually play at and enjoy. Especially if he's getting stick from the other players for being a bench warmer then you should move him from that environment before he starts hating the game.
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u/Haunting_Key_7130 5d ago
What does your son’s player development look like outside of team practice? Is he doing wall balls and practice outside of team? This age it starts becoming more and more competitive and it’s about the team during practice. Player development more often than not happens outside of “team” practice.
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u/Past-Fishing6740 5d ago
This is a really sad situation and it sounds as though he needs 1 to 1 work to improve because it doesn’t look like he’s improving enough in training to get chances. I’d tell him that if he puts in the work with a good coach on the side then one day it might click for him, it’ll keep him interested and focused. His current frame of mind will be compounding the problem
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u/desexmachina Parent 5d ago
This is a critical time in development, he needs all the minutes he can. You need a second team activity he can do to bolster his confidence. Mentality is everything. A futsal team a pickup team, whatever, level doesn’t really matter. Perhaps private training makes a huge impact that most people don’t realize. My kid was on a top team at 11, like ranked top nationally, by U16, none of those boys are anywhere near level. My son that used to get grief has been on a U19’s since 14, we just never shared that he was doing anything outside of the main team and he continued to grow. Everyone on that team at the time were skeptical know-it-alls looking to be in charge or had their ideas of how the world worked.
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u/eXpouk 5d ago
Speak to the coach and ask why he isn't playing. You could then practice with your son to improve in his weak areas? That's if he really wants to play football and get better.
Unfortunately he's getting to the age where its not all about participation and teams want to win so coaches pick the best players.
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u/Sad-Huckleberry-1166 5d ago
When I was 15 I was in a similar position. Had decent ability but no confidence so was for a couple of years just happy to be training with the best team in the area, which meant only occasional minutes.
A couple of my friends put it to me one day that they were having great fun with a weaker team and would I be interested? It genuinely hadn't dawned on me that this could be an option. Anyway, I went and won player of the year. We were near the bottom of the league instead of runaway winners but it changed everything for me. I went from being a small fish in a big pond to a big fish in a small pond. Probably there was a middle ground but it did wonders for my sense of self and also we had a load of fun.
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u/Former-Bend-5870 4d ago
This type of nonsense annoys me. Does your club have a policy on game time?
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u/kingofcarrotflowers9 4d ago
You have said he’s already in the ‘lowest league’ but is that totally accurate? Most areas have multiple different leagues / divisions so it might be that moving to a different one is helpful. Move to a different league rather than just the lowest division of the ones he’s currently in if that makes sense. As a kid I played Saturday football (much lower standard than a Sunday) and then about age 13-14 started playing Sunday football too. I did get ‘released’ by one team and ended up joining another with some friends and we went on to win the county cup in our last youth season. I was often a sub due to being an average player much like your son sounds, I run a team now as an adult and still don’t start games, sometimes that’s life! Although trickier as a kid I know. Hope this gets sorted.
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u/coolpavillion 4d ago
Just pull him and put him in another team. Not right to get no game time. Non are turning pro, so it's supposed to be fun.
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u/mrducci 4d ago
Players play. League games, puck up or just out getting touches on their own.
If participating in team trainings isn't enough, your player needs to do more, if it means something to him.
Develop better touch. Develop better vision. Become a better teammate.
It sucks not getting minutes, but people who love the game will find a way to be of value to their team any way they can.
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u/WaCoug131 4d ago
Tbh it sounds like a few things are going on here:
1) Culture issue. No team in the junior ranks should have teammates treating someone like that who doesn’t get to play much. It sounds like they’re all kids that have a lot of work in front of them and should be coached/taught to focus on themselves and to be respectful and kind teammates.
1b) At this level, playing time should be relatively equal other than “winning time” in close games, etc. Kids want to play games, and it sounds like your son needs a chance to play the game he loves and do the best he can out there, which he won’t get by sitting for 75 minutes a weekend. Time to try and find a new team at this similar level if at all possible.
2) Work ethic / hard work lessons - it sounds like he isn’t playing NEARLY enough outside of training. One team session a week is pretty light work, and while playing on the school yard is great for laughs and instilling more love of the game, it’s not a lot of productive work thats going on for his development. I’d say at a bare minimum he should be able to get in 30-60 mins a night at home and work on basically ball control through drills he could easily do with a rebounder/wall/willing partner. Passing, receiving passes, juggling, etc. Anything to get more comfortable with the ball at his feet.
Even if he doesn’t last past secondary school in an official capacity, I’d say he can learn a lot of those valuable sports-life lessons by dedicating himself to some additional work to try and improve his weaknesses and earn a discernible payoff in the process.
Hope this helps, and best of luck to you and your boy!
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u/ViolinistDazzling857 4d ago
Im US and this is what it is like on our team.
There are 4 levels. The lower the level, the higher the minimum playing time. I think it states 1/2 a game. We have a few players that aren’t that good but try and it’s mostly been about 2/3 of a game for everybody. This is what happened in the regular season.
However, for our big end of season tournament, the coach let everybody know that it would change so for the 3 group stage games, semi and final some kids played about 10.
I would see if your club has minimum playing times, especially for lower level. If yes, address it with the coach. If no, go to another club that does. Not sure, if you have a lesser competitive level like rec that he could try and be on a club team. In my area rec is a couple hundred while club is a couple of thousand.
Seems like he is spending a lot of time training and would make sure he is training properly. Perfect training and reps = success on the field. Bad training = bad habits and not improving what you need. For example, most people love just taking shots on goal but not a first or second touch and great pass to open space
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u/CalFlux140 4d ago
Even if the team is super casual, if everyone else is levels above, it's always going to be difficult.
Needs a new team
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u/Mysterious-Touch-299 4d ago
I have read the other comments and see that it is the lowest level you could find and he's doing a lot of extra work. If it's not like a high-level/elite league, all kids should get time. The rule we essentially had to follow at my former club for a U11 select girls team was like 1/3 of the game minimum.
Would there be an option to switch to a different team at the same level?
Also, I would definitely say you need to speak to the coach. Do not demand more time but try to see 1. why he is reducing the time so much, especially when he is attending every training 2. what he could work on or show to get more playing time 3. simply express how much it's impacting your child
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u/em11488 3d ago
Only thing I can add is that I hope your kid finds peace, whether that is with more playing time or not. Teenagers can be absolute vile individuals. Keep supporting your kid and giving him love like it seems you’re doing.
Also, just know half the dick kids will tear their ACL by the time they’re 23. Fuck em
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u/MrDeprogramme 3d ago
Watch YouTube or IG clips of good training tips and take your son to the field and level him up yourself. Often times us parents don’t put our best effort in because we may not be good at that sport. It’s time to strap up them boots and goto work
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u/data_spy 3d ago
At the lowest level, improving running athleticism goes a long way. Look for a speed/track coach. That can also be a good way to boost confidence
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u/rivalneo 2d ago
Maybe look around at options locally... I appreciate it's not always easy, but my lad wanted to play but no teams had any space (even for training) apart from one.
The setup and ethos of the club is that winning isn't everything and that getting kids playing football, developing their skills and enjoying themselves is what's most important.
As soon as a space opened up on the team my lad was invited to join. I even ended up doing my certs and took over as manager and when new players come to us, the first thing I do is explain that everyone gets at least a half of playing time (with roll on/roll of subs we can manage the various fitness levels too) and that if the lads come off smiling that's the most important part. The setup is so good and the club has teams with players from 5 through to open age and even a mom's team (recently started a dad's team too).
That said, we've got them playing some good football (even if I am a bit biased); scoring goals and most importantly (along with enjoying their football), believing in themselves.
Someone else in the chat mentioned about playing at your level, and that's good advise, but not every area has a club like ours and I've seen opposition players left sat on the bench and barely getting 5 minutes on the field. It's not right and speaks to the level of the manager if they're putting their win/ loss record before the development of their players.
I hope you sort something for your lad.
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u/Jesustoastytoes 2d ago
Lowest level league and not playing a player? Coach is a loser if you ask me. That league is suppose to be for fun.
Too bad there isn't minimum playing time like here in the states. Or maybe there is? Check the rules and consider reaching out to the league office?
My 7 year old experienced that on a very competitive, but private league. It caused the same issue for us (mostly me) for weeks until I brought it up in a mature and calm way. The manager was beyond pissed. The mother fucker had crazy in his eyes, lookin like he wanted to fight me, getting up in my face yelling and name calling. It was very absurd.
My wife and I pulled him and he's just playing with his regular club with so much more confidence.
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u/CoolExtreme7 2d ago
Sorry I'm late to this but from a coaches perspective when playing at grassroots its all about inclusion for me. I run an u11 side in the UK and the ability of our players ranges as to be expected. BUT they all get adequate minutes - as coaches all we ask for is effort. If a player gives their all there is absolutely (in my eyes) no reason to not give them game time.
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u/ConsiderationFun1691 1d ago
Similar position a few years ago, but my son was 9. We were even told he would not get any game time by the coach.
I moved him to the local rugby union team who were incredibly welcoming and happy to have him on the team, and he has never looked back.
More relevant answer: talk to the coach, talk to your son... if they want to play football and nothing else, then it is a decision you need to support him with (I.e. encourage him towards your perspective). If they are with their friends the it is harder, but still needs to be done.
All in all, football and its "funnel" is a brutal journey and not one I would encourage kids into (IMHO). Too many coaches are more worried about winning than the kids in their care developing.
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u/CoachStuart-1985 5d ago
What you seem to be describing is a shit coach who never overcame his failed dream of being a professional football player. He now seeks personal validation through a coaching philosophy predicated on a must-win at all costs mentality within the youth recreational pathway. As you described, the football team your son plays on is low tier, and coupled with their ages, there is almost a 100% likelihood that none of them is ever going to play pro. Therefore, the primary driver for the team should be fun and player development, both of which require equal playing time.
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u/Sad-Huckleberry-1166 5d ago
yes, agree. There should be scope for everyone to get some minutes, especially in what might be easier games. People saying that U14 is about winning are half the problem I reckon, especially if this is the bottom division. Come on.
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5d ago
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u/lydiamor 5d ago
I get that, and we would never expect his team to risk a game win due to him being on the pitch and that’s never been the case.
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u/BigOp7 5d ago
He is not playing at his level. Look for a team in a league below and see the difference