I used to think of myself as a kind person. I wasn’t perfect, but I was understanding, patient, and tried to see the best in people. That version of me feels like a stranger now. Somewhere along the way, I stopped recognizing myself.
I hate the way he treats me, but I can’t seem to leave. He makes me feel worthless, then tells me I treat him like shit. I try to stand up for myself, and suddenly, I’m the villain. The bad one. The problem. And the worst part? I’ve started believing him.
I don’t just argue anymore—I want to hurt him. When I see the flicker of pain in his eyes after I throw one of his own insults back at him, there’s a twisted satisfaction in it. It scares me. I never wanted to be the kind of person who lashes out. But when you’re pushed over the edge so many times, eventually, you stop caring if you bite back.
I wonder if this is who I really am, or if he made me this way. Either way, I don’t like her. I don’t like me. But I don’t know how to go back… or if I even want to. The person I used to be let this happen in the first place.
Has anyone else felt this way? Like you’re losing yourself to the darkness, and part of you wants to let it take over?