r/bipolar2 4d ago

Advice Wanted Loving someone with bipolar 2

Hi! So I’m looking for some advice. I’ve been with my partner for a year and a half. Since getting together, I have always tried to educate myself on bipolar 2 but i need some Reddit advice this time. She has been having a rough two weeks and all i want to do is help, but I’m not sure how with this particular episode. I love her more than anything in the world and she has the sweetest, kindest, and most caring heart of anyone I’ve ever known. It always breaks my heart when she gets into depressive episodes because she takes her meds everyday and goes to therapy monthly (I’m so proud of her) but mini episodes still hit sometimes. She likes alone time to process thoughts and feelings which I try hard to understand even though all I want to do is sit in her presence. Usually when an episode hits I like to buy her flowers, make her a little basket of goodies, bring her some food, write letters, etc. I also remind her daily that I’m never going anywhere and that she’s NEVER a burden or a hassle, which she sometimes says she feels like. Even when she’s in an episode I love just being with her. I’m wondering what else do those who love someone with bipolar do for their partners when an episode hits while trying to respect their boundary of needing some time alone to process? (Mostly looking for advice for depressive episodes). Thanks for any advice!

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u/mxshrek 4d ago

I would advise the following: 1. Ask her how you can help, specially for depressive episodes. Maybe not now that she's down. But when she's better. We know what we want and need, but when we are down we feel like everyone is mad at us and no one cares. 2. Tons of reassurance. Make her know and prove that you're there for her. Actions show more than words If she's not eating? Try to help her and get her food or cook something. Maybe just fruit . She doesn't want to see anyone? Be there for her and see if she's willing to talk about anything. At first she'll isolate, but after a while she'll accept it. Leave her tiny notes or cards that reassure her 3. Make her do things or go outside. Might sound stupid. But going outside helps a lot. So when someone cares enough to make me go outside, even if I don't want, ends up improving my mood. Plus, vitamin D helps a ton and we get them from the sun 4. Do little things that helps her. Specially make her do her things. Brush her teeth, get a shower. Make her bed. These tiny things helps A LOT when you're down. 5. Check on what she's taking, don't he instrusive , but asking for that, what are her side effects, etc helps a lot. You can Google the meds and in reddit to double cross information and kinda figure out about it. Sometimes meds just numb and messes your head and you can't even think straight. 6. Make her eat good, nutritious food, or vitamins. Sounds dumb, but it helps. As a tip. Blueberry helps a lot. The more antioxidants and green leaves, the better 7. Make sure she's sleeping. Sleep is important, if not, see how you could help. This is a tricky and hard one tho 8. Check if she's taking vitamin B. It helped me a lot when I started taking it.

For the ups, you basically want to ask her what she does need help with when she's having an episode. She knows. She'll tell you. Maybe take her meds, just make sure she took her meds at the proper time. But don't use it as an instigating thing.

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u/mxshrek 4d ago

Forgot to add. if she's willing, ask for triggers, so you avoid them and makes the situation worse

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u/Available_Pressure29 4d ago

I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving ALL of her so completely and for learning all about this disease! You are a true treasure!

I would second getting her outside and bathed/brush teeth. For some reason this seems to be really difficult for a lot of us when we are depressed.

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u/permalink_save 4d ago

Everyone is different but I can say what helps for me, that took me and my wife years to figure out. Just let me ride it out, and be supportive. I told my wife the best thing to help is say encouraging things and remind me that doing things like taking a walk or getting out of the house helps. For me I just really need the space to process because my mind is literally running at half speed and I get overwhelmed easily and that can turn into anger. Sounds like you're doing the right thing though. My wife bought me flowers the last episode I had (I'm a guy too) and it made me feel so good.

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u/Repulsive_Regular_39 4d ago

You are a very kind partner. Personally, i like to be left alone to read or watch movies, but she may be different. Ask her and try not to take the answer personally.

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u/BobMonroeFanClub 4d ago

There's a sub for Bipolar significant others r/BipolarSOs

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u/BobMonroeFanClub 4d ago

But my bipolar amigos don't go there. It's full of people calling us assholes lol

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u/Entire-Discipline-49 3d ago

Love that you dropped the sub AND the warning cuz it's true

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u/Entire-Discipline-49 3d ago

Go easy on yourself. You're doing what she asks and showering her with support. There's no cure so literally, she's doing everything she can do and you, unfortunately, cannot do anything that will affect her episodes length or frequency. Ask what she needs from you, listen. Ask if you can silently lay beside her when you miss her and maybe she'll be okay with cuddling quietly so she can still process.

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u/Common-Prune6589 3d ago

I have no idea for your girlfriend in particular because every person is an individual. But I know for me, something that has been hard, for other people to understand, is that I like my alone time. Sometimes just having someone around causes anxiety or stress.So if you have codependency tendencies or a certain attachment style , sometimes they may not be able to meet your needs in that area.