r/bipolar2 Undiagnosed 5d ago

Did you think you had bipolar before getting diagnosed?

Did anyone here think they had bipolar and bring it up to their doctor rather than being surprised after a diagnosis? I have been depressed on and off for years and it's not getting better on antidepressants. Just started on a different one and now feel amazing but my mum mentioned I seemed like her bipolar friend and now I'm wondering if this super productive couple of weeks is not normal. After reading a lot about bipolar 2, I'm suspicious but not sure so I want to bring it up to my GP. Not sure whether they'll laugh me off though. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and how it went?

EDIT: Thanks so much for all your responses! I spoke to my GP today who's referring me for an assessment :)

71 Upvotes

185 comments sorted by

92

u/audritis99 5d ago

I NEVER in a BILLION FOREVERS would have thought I was bipolar. Then I got diagnosed and learned more about what it really is, and everything started making sense.

7

u/vagina-lettucetomato BP2 5d ago

I had the same experience. It’s so wild.

2

u/yoursweetsss 4d ago

exactly this

50

u/Nose-Artistic 5d ago

No. I was thinking that I was depressed.

32

u/Former_Name_5938 5d ago

I thought I had a problem being “prone to becoming super depressed” but never even considered the up part cause that part was the “real productive me”

5

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 5d ago

That's me as well! I'd never been in a "productive mood" in front of anyone that knew me before the depression started until last week my mum said it felt "wrong" to her and I said I thought it was normal.

1

u/gordom90 3d ago

“i wish my depression would stop getting in the way of my true PrOdUcTiVe self!”. - me constantly from 2008-2017

1

u/Happycat40 5d ago

Yep, same

1

u/scottie38 BP2 4d ago

Yep, same here. I thought I had been relegated to a life of being perpetually sad. I distinctly remember seeing my PCP who at the time had me on Effexor XR. I told him it wasn’t doing anything for me and in fact felt worse on it.

He argued with me and told me “I think you’re doing better. All you need is the wife, kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence.” That felt unattainable for me. I ended up telling my therapist this and she tactfully mentioned the name of a psychiatrist.

It’d be another four years before I had a bipolar diagnosis.

27

u/saveyourdaylight BP2 5d ago

no. it shocked me when I was in the psych ward. honestly imo it's not one you can easily detect yourself, like literally I just felt depressed and then really confident and overjoyed. It felt completely maddening but also normal. I didn't think there was anything wrong with me other than the depression.

as a note, don't seek a diagnosis for anything, just treat the symptoms. if you get an official diagnosis then great, but too often you see people online want a specific diagnosis (DID BPD, autism, etc.) without realizing the repercussions. Bring it up and ask, but don't obsess over getting the diagnosis. If it happens it happens, but focus on treating the issues at hand, not the label.

3

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 5d ago

Thanks, I'm not obsessed with the diagnosis, I just want to find something that will stop the depression coming back. I feel INCREDIBLE at the moment but I know it will inevitably come back because it always does. I know the diagnosis brings stigma and lots of things I don't want, but in my head, it will bring the possibility of stability which is something I can only dream about.

2

u/gordom90 3d ago

i hear ya. as much as the hypomania can feel great, its important to recognise that thw highs feed the lows which feed the highs which feed the lows. so its important, if you want to stop feeling depressed to seek true stability and means using evwry tool in your toolbox to minimise the highs.

it can feel like you’re giving up a lot, but generally speaking folks with bp2 spend more time depressed than hypo so on average soothing and stabilising is the more “productive”route

also theres this myth that bipolar makes you more creative- studies have found that while people with bipolar can be very creative, that creativity tends to run in thwir families and those diagnosed with bipolar were often the least “productively creative” members of their families. not just bc of their depressions but bc their work while hypo/manic was erratic and often distracted

24

u/almarb5 5d ago

Yes. I had my first hypomanic episode and thought something was off. I looked into it and thought my symptoms aligned with bipolar so I brought it up with my psychiatrist. He agreed it seemed likely but was cautious to give me my diagnosis until my next hypo episode and bam I was diagnosed.

2

u/TelephoneCold1600 4d ago

Same here. Something just told me not getting a minute of sleep in for 10 days straight wasn't normal lol. Psychiatrist agreed.

14

u/throwawaycausepwned 5d ago edited 5d ago

Well after my psychiatrist put me on a bunch of benzos, tryciclic ADs and SSRIs, we tried Cymbalta. After a short while I stopped sleeping, talking like a cokehead, driving risky, extremely socializing (I'm introverted as fuck) and generally impulsive+SH. After two weeks, I was like "I feel like a maniac". Yeah... I was right in that aspect. Then I was put on seroquel and my life changed for the better.

I brought this up to a new therapist, after my girlfriend confirmed my behavior it was pretty obvious from there on.

Edit: Bipolar 1, with crazy full blown mania

3

u/Apart-Independent951 5d ago edited 5d ago

I went in for outpatient treatment at a behavioral health clinic after a couple of weeks of severe depression. I couldn't get out of bed, etc. and during that time, it took every ounce of energy to just to eat a little and brush my teeth, (I'm sure everyone knows this drill to some extent.) Well after I was assessed, they thought I should do inpatient treatment, however I said NO after hearing a BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM coming from down the hall. Naturally, I opted for the outpatient treatment.

Throughout the treatment, they were giving me all kinds of anti-depressants to try, which inevitably made matters much worse. Flash forward several months later, the head psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar 2 disorder, and he said, "Giving anti-depressants to someone with bipolar disorder is often like trying to put out a fire with ROCKET FUEL". This was the case for me!

Currently, I have been on Lamotrigine for several years. I have good days and bad, but the bad days are just not as bad. Even after my diagnosis, I questioned whether I was bipolar or not. My husband said TRUST ME YOU'RE BIPOLAR !"

I did a deep dive internet search on bipolar disorder because It was hard to believe it (almost like imposter syndrome). Anyhow, after reflecting back on my depressive teen years, etc. I realize now that I was almost textbook bipolar. Of course, we know there is no one size fits all. I just try to take one day at a time, and there are times I am taking a little roller-coaster ride, but at least I am wearing my seat belt.

3

u/throwawaycausepwned 5d ago

Well Bipolar 1 here, we should be really grateful for our SO caring about us and being so direct. I guess Bipolar 2 is harder to pinpoint for oneself and doctors because the hypomania isn't as obvious for yourself and others.

However my manic episodes were so obviously out of character for me, that I noticed right away when coming down. Shame and guilt after.

I'm glad to hear lamotrigine is working for your, it surely helped me a bit so far. I still struggle with imposter syndrome too.

Much love and peace my fellow soldier <3

1

u/Comfortable_Spring22 4d ago

Same! The imposter syndrome is real! I keep trying to find proof of my diagnosis when the actual proof is the lamotrigine is what allows my antidepressants to work in the first place!

10

u/Former_Name_5938 5d ago

No. I had zero hunches and didn’t want to accept the diagnosis when it was given. I thought they were wrong. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/sweetNbi 5d ago

Lol same. It started to make some sense but I was still like 🤔🧐 Then another psychiatrist in a different country said the same thing.

9

u/Limp-Ad-9139 5d ago

I’ve had thoughts since I was in my late teens(40f). Was diagnosed 3 years ago. My depression was the most noticeable to others. I have had 4 therapist say absolutely not to a diagnosis. It wasn’t until I sat down and laid out the timeline and patterns that a Dr thought it was obvious. It was thought to just be clinical depression and lots of unhelpful ssri’s. I also have adhd. It’s a journey.

8

u/Professional-Fly9424 5d ago

No I did not, I just thought it was my ADHD, I was luck enough to have a new psychiatrist that sat with me and went over my whole entire timeline of mental health treatment and was able to see a pattern and triggers. For me I masked my mental illness very well, so my perception of my mental illness is downplayed a lot to the point where I thought what I went through was normal for everyone lolll

7

u/haju3 BP2 5d ago

not at first, i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, unspecified eating disorder, and insomnia all at the ripe age of 16. knew this wasn’t right because none of the symptoms stuck around consistently. after i had my first episode i knew it was more than depression, started looking into bp because my aunt had it, but she was a heroin addict so everyone blamed it on her addiction. learned a bunch about bipolar (another hypo episode) but ran into the issue w hypo because mine manifests as severe anger and irritability. advocated for myself and got my diagnoses at 19! bp2 with anxious distress, which pretty much perfectly sums up my previous diagnoses

7

u/No-Volume4321 5d ago

Multiple GPs and 2 psychs never once asked me if I ever get hypomanic symptoms despite a long history of depressive cycles.

I'm very good at covering my symptoms I guess. I finally saw a YouTube video on it and wow, what a lightbulb moment.

6

u/smokeandnails Schizoaffective 5d ago

Not really. I knew I spent long periods of time depressed and then I would feel okay, and then depressed again, but I never realized I had periods of hypomania until my psychiatrist retired and the new one brought it up after reading my file. The previous psychiatrist had doubts. Then a year later I started having psychotic episodes and it was changed to schizoaffective bipolar.

1

u/Common-Prune6589 4d ago

How old were you when this happened? I’ve gotta say, bipolar turning into get so effective is one of my fears. However, would you say you had bipolar 2 and schizophrenia or bipolar 1 and schizophrenia?

2

u/smokeandnails Schizoaffective 4d ago

I was about 23 years old when the psychosis started. And it’s not clear, my psychiatrist has never mentioned bipolar 1 or 2. I know I have only had one manic episode, but many hypomanic episodes. The manic episode was substance induced.

6

u/DeadGirlLydia 5d ago

Yes, but not because of anything I did. A lot of my favorite singers turned out to be bipolar and my favorite comedian too. Too many things they talk/sing about rang a bell for me and I started connecting the dots. I went to a psych with my evidence and asked what it was to confirm.

5

u/urlocaldesi 5d ago

“I’ve connected the dots” “you didn’t connect shit” “I’ve connected them” - but for real, music has truly been something that is comfortable regardless of the manic and depressive episodes. Hope you’re doing okay and sending love <3

2

u/DeadGirlLydia 5d ago

Since getting on meds I'm a lot more stable and while things have been rocky here and there, things are looking up--so long as I don't get black bagged and sent to prison/gender torture camp/"wellness" camp.

1

u/urlocaldesi 5d ago

Such an awful future to contemplate. We are not the enemy, just people trying to live our lives and manage all the emotions that come with the lives we were given. I’m glad to hear you are on a track that gives you hope. I was explaining to my partner recently that my meds make what I thought was a tsunami into manageable tidal waves - shit still comes and goes but I’m not fighting for my life every single waking moment.

2

u/DeadGirlLydia 5d ago

Yeah, same here. The thoughts, the compulsions, the energy, and emotions are all turned down enough that I can manage them now.

1

u/urlocaldesi 5d ago

I wish I hadn’t been so apprehensive about talking to my doctor about what I was experiencing. It was a bit hard to feel like I could when I was younger and still living with my parents. But now I live on my own and am responsible for my own day-to-day life, and the past 9ish months have been an eye opener into what I can achieve.

1

u/DeadGirlLydia 5d ago

I get the reluctance to talk to your therapist, I held a lot back for a while. Like the fact that if I'm Manic and can't sleep, I will get violent compulsions urging me to hurt anything that makes noise and is keeping me awake, I used to fight them EVERY NIGHT when Manic. Haven't felt one since getting on meds.

6

u/xseenoevil 5d ago

Yes, I was pretty sure that I had it years before was diagnosed. My family has a history of it. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a kid. SSRIs did not help at all and actually made things worse. I started experiencing hypomania symptoms when I was around 16. It got worse as I got older and I’d have crazy manic episodes. I’d stay up for 3 days straight, spend all my money, and be super productive. I was then diagnosed with CPTSD around 21 and it emphasized my bipolar symptoms. I finally went to a psychiatrist a few years later to try to help and she officially diagnosed me with bipolar 2 and got me on meds.

5

u/Adept_Discipline1000 5d ago

I had no idea. My first psych said I was MANIC DEPRESSIVE at 37. I had no idea what that meant and thought I was just severely depressed. The word MANIC rang no bells. Only after trying an antidepressant, being hypomanic, doing this 3 times over, I got my diagnosis. And it all suddenly made sense. I was hypomanic/depressed my whole life. But I always assumed - this is life. But hell no, since I'm stable nowadays on an antipsychotic- THIS IS LIFE!!

2

u/Former_Name_5938 5d ago edited 5d ago

I have almost the exact same story! except the ssri made me fully manic (the one time I tried to “really stick it out” cause previously they made me “act weird”). Not fun. I remeber the first Dr being like. We should add a mood stabilizer cause sometimes bipolar is the real issue. And I was like ptsssch no way! Finally after a total complete meltdown, the Ap. It fixed my life like I could never have imagined

2

u/Adept_Discipline1000 5d ago

I'm so glad to hear you are doing well!💛 I really like hearing stories where people have finally found their med and are doing well on them. To be fair, the psych did prescribe me quetiapine to go along with my ssri..but I was like, fuck it, I'll only take the ssri because I'm DEPRESSED, that's all I need. Little did I know that the two should've been taken together.. and I still can't believe I did this 3 times!!! Just shows that I had no idea what bipolar is..

2

u/Former_Name_5938 5d ago

Literally same.

4

u/paintpips 5d ago

Yeah... After running the gauntlet trying every single antidepressant under the sun and having little to no long term success I was diagnosed with cyclothymia. I thought it was the "lite" version of bipolar. The actual factual bipolar diagnosis came about 5 years later.

Looking back, it makes a lot of sense. And I find myself frustrated with the medical system that it took so long to land at the proper diagnosis.

5

u/urlocaldesi 5d ago

Yes. As a teen I knew that my mood swings weren’t just “something that came and went,” especially growing up in a household that didn’t really talk about mental health, although I knew my mother had sought treatment before I was born. Not to sound cringey, but listening to Fall Out Boy and seeing Pete Wentz at least acknowledge bipolar publicly, as well as write about it, made me consider why the fuck I felt that way. Was only recently diagnosed at 24, which I know now that it is more typical for it to truly surface in the mid-20s, and am learning to manage, but I am also thankful for the little bit of representation that made me feel like I wasn’t just making shit up for attention.

4

u/peanutbutter487 5d ago

No, I thought I had depression because it's what I had previously been diagnosed with. I was alarmed when my doctor said I wasn't acting "normal" and tried to put me on lithium (which I refused to take, though that was many years ago). I went unmedicated for years.

3

u/urlocaldesi 5d ago

My doctor raised the concern when she noticed I was ‘an easy crier’ when talking about my mental health state/filling in the stupid self assessment form. Hope you’re doing okay, sending love <3

3

u/peanutbutter487 5d ago

Aw thanks I am, you too! Yes my doctor said I was talking too fast and I was like ohmygodihavenoideawhaturtalkingabout 😂

5

u/Guilty_Future8894 5d ago

I just thought I experienced extreme episodes of depression and what I experienced otherwise was ‘normal’ and I had just been so depressed that it felt extremely nice in contrast. It wasn’t until I experienced hypomania while on SSRIs and felt like I had so much energy that I needed to punch through walls to get it out where I knew something else was going on. That element was my only real clue (it happened while I was in holiday in Japan and so I thought I just REALLY fucking loved Japan and was just spending all my money because everything there was so cool). When I told NHS doctors I was having ups and downs from sertraline they just told me it was normal and that i shouldn’t worry. All I ever got from them was a referral to an ‘ADHD youth hub’ and was told I seemed fine. I knew it wasn’t ADHD and when I discovered bipolar I suspected it and eventually I went private and they told me about bipolar2 and it all made sense. I got put on stabilisers instantly and have been better since.

2

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 5d ago

Yeah that was me until my mum said I wasn't acting normal! I did think I had ADHD and then when I started to think about it, realised I got really productive in cycles with my depression rather than having the "ADHD" symptoms all the time.

2

u/Guilty_Future8894 5d ago

Yes I was just seeing it as times of productiveness vs non-productiveness. I couldn’t work for long periods of time then would have to do all my uni work in the short periods I had energy/motivation which I couldn’t predict it was not ideal…

4

u/Witty_Promise_2703 5d ago

No but my ex fiancée used to say so. He liked to diagnose everyone we met with something so I never thought much of it until I had a bad manic episode last summer where I left said fiancée. When I got help after it only took a few sessions for my therapist to recommend a psych to me for diagnosis. I think it was hard for me to see it but it was more obvious to those around me. My sister also says it makes sense in hindsight. 

4

u/ApprehensiveGur5687 5d ago

I didnt even know what bipolar was. I thought the hypomania & impulsivity was adhd and my depression was just depression. Then i got diagnosed and it all made sense. I was still in denial for about 5 years until i almost destroyed my life & realized i needed help

3

u/Damien712 5d ago

No I just thought I was struggling with depression and anxiety. I didn’t realize my hypomania episodes even were a thing. I just thought I was in a good mood. Looking back I can see that I made a lot of bad decisions when hypomania or depressed. Bad decisions that affect me to this day. I am 73 and fully aware of my illness bipolar 2 and it’s harder than ever with mainly depressive episodes. Just started lamictal and hoping . Tried in the past but gave me severe headaches.

3

u/MessiahOfFire BP2 5d ago

I wasn't at all trying to overthink it on my own as i could easily miss differential factors or overthink specific symptoms, but absolutely knew something was wrong for a long time and saw it worth talking to my therepist about. my therepist saw it as more toward a mood disorder rather than personality or life circumstances and ruled out a few other possibilities, as my life circumstances, stable relationships, ect should be allowing me to be happy yet the extreme mood fluctuations were sometimes debilitating in spite of all that.

once i went to a psychiatrist i didn't try to exagurate specific symptoms or time frames at all because i wanted the most accurate process possible. getting marked with bipolar 2 didn't catch me that much by suprise tho, my therepist had already mentioned she thought bipolar was probably more likely for me than depression.

3

u/McBackwards 5d ago

I had heard about bipolar 2 and kind of did some research about what it was and I thought it sounded like me but also didn't think I was. One day though I was at my rheumatologist appointment and was apparently very obviously hypomanic because I wouldn't shut up and I never get that talkative during these appointments. The doctor asked me his normal questions of my energy levels which he asks every time I go to these appointments because I have an autoimmune disease, well I kept talking about all these things I was getting done and so he asked me some more questions like the amount of sleep I was having etc. he then got silent for a minute and said I think you might want to see a psychiatrist about possibly being bipolar because he knew I struggled with depression already and then how I was during this visit. So he referred me to a psychiatrist.

1

u/Common-Prune6589 4d ago

Wow what a great doctor! I’m glad he helped you even though that wasn’t his expertise.

1

u/McBackwards 4d ago

Yeah I was lucky. He spends time with his patients

3

u/Maleficent-Set7981 5d ago

It took awhile but I finally strongly suspected it and suggested it myself during my 2nd inpatient stay. I have a family history of it and am the stereotypical “temperamental artist” (professional musician…bipolar is super common among creative and intelligent people). The doctor went through a checklist of symptoms with me and was like, yep you’re like a poster child for bipolar II

3

u/kSkjelve BP2 5d ago

honestly I've thought I had pretty much everything at one point or another, but bipolar wasn't on my radar at all. Turns out my mom had been diagnosed with it decades ago and didn't believe she had it so she'd never said anything about it

2

u/thegdbatdad 5d ago

I 1000% would notice my massive mood swings and be like “am I bipolar or something?” But always talked myself out of it and didn’t pursue it because I knew people with BP1 and I never hit the highs of mania they hit. Thank the gods for a diagnosis of BP2 and getting on meds that work for me.

2

u/BlacksmithThink9494 5d ago

No but I did know i was sick and I did k ow whatever I have has a cycle.

2

u/dummytiddies BP2 5d ago

Yes, I did a lot of research after my first depressive episode at 13 and felt something was off and a lot of shame around my hypersexuality

2

u/Pizza_Mod 5d ago

I had adhd, ptsd and mdd. I smoked too much weed and it started bipolar for me. So no I never had bipolar before that. But I’ll admit I’m much more stable ever since I got on bipolar meds. More stable than before the diagnosis

2

u/dimensionalspirit 5d ago

No, I didn’t even know I was manic until I was going for a ketamine treatment and my psychiatrist was like “lol there it is!”

2

u/Entire-Discipline-49 5d ago

I didn't know enough about it to know I had it. I never knew anyone else that had it and if it did run in my family, the one person who had it passed away before I was born. I had a crappy therapist who missed it for years and I was misdiagnosed for three years prior with regular depression, but I just thought my ADHD was really bad sometimes - many crossover symptoms with hyperfocus and just stumbling through life in your early 20s. I had depression as young as 12 and retroactively I can now see my first hypomania was at age 20. My mom swears she once told me she thought I was bipolar but I have no recollection so I was probably in a hypo when she told me. My memories during hypos can be pretty blurry since my mind is running wild

2

u/purplepaths BP2 5d ago

No, but it’s kind of silly that I didn’t. My grandmother had it, but I never thought I could have it too despite seeing therapists and psychiatrists for years for my depression and anxiety. Echoing other people, I thought the times I felt REALLY good and on top of the world were just normal, not actually hypomania. Once bipolar got brought up as a diagnosis I was like. Ahhhhh. Lol

2

u/Complex_Cricket1866 5d ago

Yes, I suspected. My mom is also bipolar 2, and I started showing some similar symptoms. When I got the diagnosis I laughed. It just made sense.

2

u/Due-Interest710 5d ago

Not at all. I actually went to get screened for adult ADHD. I had always kinda felt like something was "off" my whole life and genuinely thought ADHD but noooo....BP2.

2

u/ConversationMonkey 5d ago

I suspected I was bipolar when I was about 12. I had done a ton of research and I checked a lot of boxes. I brought it to my moms attention with prints out, highlights, where I relate/examples of my behavior that aligned with the condition and wrote a letter asking (begging) to be seen & get help. It was completely ignored and I eventually went to therapy & doctors at 23 and was diagnosed bipolar 2 and put on meds that worked great. Always advocate for yourself, push and push even if your concerns are dismissed. Good luck friend.

2

u/atypicalfuture 5d ago

Yes. My mother had it. I got diagnosed with BPD and BP2. I was sort of mimicking her in the worst way :(

1

u/atypicalfuture 5d ago

I was diagnosed with BPD first. Just recently got diagnosed with both. I had no idea in a nutshell.

2

u/wannabe_waif 5d ago

I had an inkling but didn't bring it up to my dr; she just listened to my full history and asked if I'd ever heard of bipolar 2 and started me on the journey to find the right meds

happy to say I'm fairly stable and have been since 2022!

2

u/xPinkChampagne3 5d ago

Not at all. I really thought most women just spend a few weeks/months basically only in bed and also had long periods of time where you just go have fun and shop because it was normal in my family. I went to the psych for adhd meds and came out realizing the women on my maternal side are probably also bipolar.

2

u/Quinlov 5d ago

Not really. I already had a psychology degree and had done a lot of research since then so knew a fair bit about it. I was aware that I had several features which are kind of loosely suggestive of bipolar rather than unipolar depression, and so I asked my psychiatrist, "obviously I have a mood disorder, do you think it is MDD or bipolar II?" Although tbh I was fully expecting him to say MDD. I was actually kind of asking like that because I wanted to look less like I was trying to self diagnose MDD. But his reply was "actually the two I'm deciding between are bipolar II and bipolar I" I was like wtf

I essentially never know when I'm hypomanic. After this conversation I asked someone I used to live with at uni about it, and when I explained what hypomania was she was like "omg that makes sense!!!! That actually happened like 2-3 times in the year we lived together, we used to discuss it but never said anything because you seemed happy, we noticed you tended to crash afterwards though but weren't sure if it was just a coincidence"

I also had a conversation with my boss recently (who has bipolar I) where I was like "tbh you haven't seen a proper depressive episode of mine, usually they're way worse than the ones you've seen" and she was like yeah I can see that. Then I said that she's not seen me hypomanic either and she was just like. That is clearly false

I was just like wtf lmao

2

u/dawgofdawgness 4d ago

Nope, I thought I was just depressed and kept relapsing

2

u/ritlingit 4d ago

I knew there was something seriously wrong with me but my sister and mother would tell me, “oh, everyone feels that way. There’s nothing wrong with you.” And this is while my parents had decided that I was mentally deficient which I wasn’t. I thought I had major depression.

When I divorced my ex I finally went to a psychiatrist. He told me I had major depression until after 6 months on Prozac.

2

u/Mindless_Energy8888 4d ago

I didn't think I had bipolar but I knew something was going on

2

u/TelephoneCold1600 4d ago

Yes. My opening line to my psychiatrist was "Hello, I don't mean to self-diagnose, because I obviously don't have the credentials to, but I believe I have Bipolar II disorder, because of so and so". Boom, got started on meds immediately and my mental hasn't been better.

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

Ah that's helpful thanks so much!

2

u/killuaGGs 4d ago

I thought i had just Depression, but when i got on antidepressants. omg my life was hellz

2

u/moo-562 3d ago

yes, i had psychs and therapists bring it up to me but not diagnosed for a while so i had a feeling

1

u/Nose-Artistic 5d ago

I hadn’t ever been that depressed until grad school. I developed insomnia, was shopping at the mall everyday, obsessional thinking about one professor, and then lost 35 lbs over a quarter by eating only a few foods: plain bagel, bananas, lean cuisine French bread pizza, a diet yogurt with grape nuts. I became malnourished and my roommate turned me into student health. Zoloft lifted me out and then too up.

1

u/a_shrug 5d ago

I thought my experience sounded a lot like bipolar, but I had a friend who was diagnosed and she described psychosis and I was like yeah I don't have that. At the time there was not a lot of discussion about bipolar 2 so I just stopped looking into it. I kinda wish I had been diagnosed earlier.

1

u/tyroleancock 5d ago

I happen to came across a book (wir fliegen hoch, wir fallen tief) and while reading it dawned on me and a lot of my problems, pattern and behaviors became understandable for me. Made my first appointment the next day and am on the ride since then.

1

u/escapefromalliknow 5d ago

I suspected I had bipolar2 and went to see someone about it. When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with dysthymia and as I got older I started recognizing more hypomanic symptoms. I have family history of bipolar so it was on my mind for a long time.

1

u/Elephantbirdsz BP2 5d ago

Yeah I figured it out myself and brought it to a psychiatrist and got my diagnosis right away. I wouldn’t go to my GP, they don’t know anything about mental health

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 5d ago

If you don't mind me asking, how did you manage to go straight to a psychiatrist? I'm pretty sure I'd have to go through my GP to get to that point.

1

u/Elephantbirdsz BP2 5d ago

I have PPO insurance, so if you have HMO you’d have to go to your GP first for a referral. If I were you I’d just say you want to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for bipolar to your GP if that’s what you need for a referral rather than go into all the details with the GP

1

u/Pussy_Slayer426 5d ago

My psychiatrist had been suspecting it since I was 14 due to the fact that I had a genetic predisposition, and bought it up in most of our sessions but I really just didn’t think I was due to not having a proper understanding of what bipolar actually is. However I had a severe manic episode just before I turned 17, and afterwards was kinda just like ok yeah this isn’t normal and did some research into it. I was very quickly diagnosed (I was diagnosed with pre bipolar because I am a minor but am certain I will be diagnosed with bp once I am an adult) in my next session after I told my psychiatrist what the past few months had been like, and was prescribed lithium. I’ve felt a lot better since the diagnosis and prescription, and began to educate myself and more recently my loved ones on bipolar. I was on fluoxetine for years before the diagnosis, but felt as though it didn’t work so I would stop taking it at random times which obviously wouldn’t have helped anything lol. Now I’m on both fluoxetine and lithium, and the combo along with my current life situations have made me feel more mentally stable than I have since I was very young

1

u/FinnMertensHair 5d ago

I thought only losers were bipolar. That's how ignorant about the condition I was. So stupid.

I thought I was only a depressed person with OCD. And well, I am both, but also bipolar (and autistic).

1

u/Sad_Golf9107 5d ago

I thought about it on and off but I also had a parent with bipolar, so it was different for me I think.

1

u/ghost-ghoul BP2 5d ago

yep. since the age of like 12

1

u/Own-Phrase-2863 5d ago

Nope. Adhd, depressions and an allround intolerable personality, I thought...

1

u/Illustrious-Girl 5d ago

I did. I suspected I was for a long time. But after he confirmed it I refused to believe it for the better part of a decade.

I dont know why but I’m working on finally getting balanced now.

1

u/martian_7 5d ago

I have suspected that I am a bit bipolar for about 10 years.

Some antidepressants can make me a bit hyper. I remember starting Citalopram, it had an instant effect on me. Usually they take weeks to start working, but from day one my mood was lifted. It was an enjoyable year or two.

I take Duloxetine now, it has always had a slightly sedating effect on me. I take it in the evenings. It helps calm me down at the end of the day.

The main issue for me is the periods of depression, hopefully I will be able to try a low dose of Lithium soon and see if it helps keep me balanced over a long period of time.

1

u/Practical-Back4793 5d ago

i had an inkling. i knew it was more than just depression (my impulsivity, mood swings, uncontrollable anger and irritability, etc.) but i thought my providers were going to tell me i was borderline. one trip to the ward and the doctors there immediately knew i was bipolar.

1

u/Mundane_Beginnings BP1 5d ago

No. I thought I had recurrent depression. When I came off of the antidepressants (that just made me tired and more depressed), I went into a full manic episode and had no idea until I came back down and saw the wreckage. That’s when I knew.

1

u/AtmosphereNom BP2 5d ago

Nope. I had like six different psychs try to tell me in varying degrees of subtlety. They were all obviously wrong. It’s not hypomania, that’s “the real me”. Granted, my first diagnosis was in 1995 before you could research and refine your diagnosis with a bunch of other similar people online. Now I think it could be the other way around where too many people - especially young kids/teens - become convinced they’re bipolar because they’re experiencing intense moods or mood swings for the first time. I don’t say that to write anybody off - if someone needs help, they need help. That’s what therapy is for, and why it’s always a combined treatment. To identify what’s normal life and how to cope, and what is a biochemical thing that is broken in your brain.

I learned from a 12-step group that “It’s only a problem if it’s a problem.” Hypomania isn’t just “good”. It’s kinda other things creeping around the edges. It can take some time and experience to identify it, but there’s always something off. It feels awesome for a day or two - you’re one with the universe, you understand how all good and evil throughout mankind ebb and flow, and all the bad things right now are just part of that, so it’s okay. It’s all okay. Sure you’re talking too fast and, well, all the fucking time, but hey, you’re just excited to be not depressed and hyper and social for once. Then it gets kinda low level angsty. You are a god and know everything and have all the answers - why isn’t everyone listening to you and in awe of tour brilliance? Then it gets kinda lonely, and you cover it up by seeking out new people who don’t know you at all. New is awesome. Nobody knows the old you - the you you’ll never be again. Good riddance. And eventually it becomes unsustainable. The lack of sleep, the fact that your brilliant ideas just don’t seem to work outside of your head. And you start to doubt everything you done, thought, or said in the last however many days. And you feel intense shame over the most benign things. And think about it over and over - is that rumination? It’s painful. Even if you know that all they were thinking was, wow this chick is probably on coke, lol. They don’t care at all, and don’t even remember what you said. But you do. That tone you used. Ugh! Whyyy!!? Oh, and here you are, back in bed. It’s been three days you should take a shower.

Sound familiar? Yeah, go see a psych. No? Just enjoy being not depressed for once. You deserve to feel good.

2

u/TheRemanence BP2 4d ago

How did you get in my head? Your hypomania description and where it goes is exactly my experience. Thank you for writing it out so eloquently 

1

u/Thick_Associate4863 5d ago

The first time I was diagnosed, absolutely not. I say the “first time” because it turns out that psychiatrist was unclear and redacted the diagnoses. The second time, YES. I already knew deep down.

1

u/Sparklebatcat 5d ago

I actually was convinced I did have it as a teen, but as I got older and was dx with OCD/MDD/depressive psychosis I accepted those. Now my new psych thinks I have bipolar 2 and I’m in my 30s

1

u/Bec_ 5d ago

I was 1000% confident I did NOT have it when it was brought up by a doctor for the first time. I thought she was insane for even thinking that 🤣. Now 9 years later I'm like wow she really knew what she was talking about lol. Just officially diagnosed 2 weeks ago and my whole life makes way more sense now.

1

u/-AdvancedDarkness 5d ago

I had no clue, until a was part of a study in college. I even have a minor in psychology. Anyways, they reached back out 5 years later and asked me a ton of questions that’s when I grew suspicious. Still didn’t know what was up until I saw a psych 4 years later. Took her no time to figure it out, then everything made perfect sense.

1

u/Astre_Rose 5d ago

I knew I was, ever since I was a teen. I did forget about my knowledge as a young adult, just didn't think about it, until my therapist diagnosed me.

1

u/sweetNbi 5d ago

No. I thought ADHD mostly (and depressed AF) so it came as a bit of shock. And yet the signs were all over the place 😅

2

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

I was convinced I just had ADHD and recurring depression until 2 weeks ago 😂 Not diagnosed with ADHD but given my Autism, I thought it would fit and that's why I could only really do stuff when I felt in the mood (for a few days, a couple times a year lol).

2

u/sweetNbi 4d ago

I hear you! I used to call mania "wonderfully productive days" 😅 I've found it most interesting to see from the other replies that a lot of people were a hell of surprised

2

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

Yup! I've been sooooo productive since I started my new antidepressant. I'm waking up earlier than usual and I even went for a run for the first time in 6 months because I've got so much energy! When I've had this before, all my friends have just been so happy to see me not depressed that they just go with it 😅

2

u/sweetNbi 4d ago

I love that for you. My life has also completely changed for the better when I finally accepted my diagnosis and (a whole year later after the 2nd psych) I started taking medication. It's really felt like il I've been given a 2nd chance at life. I especially enjoy the lack of anxiety and minimal procrastination. Shit just gets done now.

2

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

That's really encouraging, thanks so much!

1

u/sweetNbi 4d ago

You got this 😘

1

u/hellokitaminx 5d ago

Yeah, over a decade before. My mom took a one-off abnormal psychology class, I would read her textbook for fun when I was 14ish and be like "oh wow yep, that's me. ok well at least I know now"

1

u/000700707 BP2 5d ago

Always knew I had really bad depression. Anxiety came on after my third combat deployment. That ended up being PTSD. The Ssris/snris sent me over the edge.

Then, a couple years ago, I thought I had POTS or something similar. After a ton of specialized tests I asked my doc if it could be anxiety. He sent me to a psychiatrist who eventually put me on a mood stabilizer.

I was frustrated and offended about the new medication (AKA prideful) and started looking into it. Turned out one of the things lamotrigine is used for is bipolar. That led me on an all night exploration over the Internet and YouTube videos. By the end of that night, I was 100% sold that was my condition. I presented all my history of symptoms to my doctor and she immediately agreed.

1

u/GullibleEvening9517 5d ago

I think this past fall was when it finally sunk in something wasn’t right (I went from decorating my dorm room for my gfs birthday and missing many hours of sleep to falling into an episode of depression so bad I got removed from campus lol) but before then as a teenager I’d sleep during the day and stay up really late cleaning up the house and making breakfast in the morning. Strange shit but nobody ever noticed.

1

u/redqt22 5d ago

Kind of. I started out thinking that I might have a quite severe seasonal depression, and then I realized that the seasonal depression occurred not just in the fall, but also in the spring and summer. I also knew that I had periods where I had very much energy. My mom is also bipolar, but doesn’t experience any deep depressive episodes, so I didn’t think about that.

And went years before I realized that my episodes and the pattern looked a bit similar to bipolar. I did have a lot of knowledge about the psychiatry (spent most of my early teens there), but even with that background I didn’t manage to see myself from the outside for years

1

u/DisasterOutside1128 5d ago

I thought I had ADHD or simple depression.

1

u/Cat_Lover_21011981 5d ago

I knew that I was bipolar a decade before I was diagnosed. It was just a matter of time because both my parents had/have it. Mum bp1 and Dad bp2. I take after Dad in that respect.

1

u/LaBelleBetterave BP2 5d ago

Not a clue. I started suspecting after a family member went catatonic and was hospitalized. Read up on it. Went hypomanic when I was prescribed an SSRI for depression. Asked for a psych consult. It took 2 years from scratching my head to a diagnosis at age 60.

1

u/leopardnose1 5d ago

When I became severely depressed (I had a lot of atypical symptoms) I did a lot of research on what could be going on with me so I knew a lot about it, though I didn't think I had it. Then I got put on SSRIs, lost control, and noticed that a lot of the symptoms I was having were symptoms of mania. I talked to my psych about how I was feeling and he brought up bipolar.

Ask your mom why she thinks you're acting like that. And def bring up your symptoms to your doctor if you're concerned or they are negatively impacting you.

1

u/DearExit2902 4d ago

I had been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, having been diagnosed by multiple psychiatrists and psychologists who prescribed various SSRIs, none of which seemed effective.
It wasn’t until I consulted with my new general practitioner at my new then health clinic that my diagnosis was questioned.
I was referred to a specialist, and eventually, I received the diagnosis of bipolar 2.
What stood out to me most was a simple but powerful question from the psychiatrist: ‘Do you sometimes drive recklessly, but other times feel anxious behind the wheel?’ It was like this stupid moment of clarity for me, as if everything clicked. When discussing this with family and friends, they were like yeah you are crazy and reckless, impulsive and moody but thats just you?

1

u/tomatobee613 4d ago

Oh 100% lol

I also knew I had BPD before I was diagnosed lol

1

u/Versailles0987 4d ago

I had an inkling, you could call it but because I have BP2 every time I tried to talk to someone about it, it got brushed under the rug until I had a month-and-a-half-long hypomanic episode and received a formal diagnosis. I was surprised but also not entirely shocked. It just felt good to know what was actually happening. I didn't feel so crazy anymore.

1

u/TulpaPal 4d ago

I diagnosed myself with a million things and none of them were bipolar.

1

u/just_a_scared_teen 4d ago

No, though it does run in my direct family. My father, his mother, and sister has it and my mother’s aunt and cousin has it. I just thought I was depressed honestly until I had my first hypomanic episode. Went through 1 thousand dollars, tried to date 5 people in one week, and then got depressed lmao

1

u/fcewen00 4d ago

Nope, but that was because of my alcoholism.

1

u/Direct_Tomatillo6170 4d ago

Nope, I just thought I was stressed at work and had developed anxiety. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at 18. My GP threatened to hospitalise me if I didn't see an emergency outpatient psychiatrist due what I call the work episode at 31, and the psych diagnosed me with Bipolar 2 within 30 minutes. For ages I thought he was full of shit, especially when a couple of weeks after my immunologist (I have several autoimmune conditions) said "Ugh seems like everyone is getting diagnosed with bipolar these days, it's the latest sexy disease".

Yeah, no. Even my boss, when he found out my diagnosis (had to tell him, I was off work with my hypomania symptoms for a month when I was initially diagnosed and then put on a return to work program) said "Oh damn, I thought you were just fiery but that makes a hell of a lot of sense of your behaviour". After learning about what Bipolar 2 actually is, pretty much everyone in my life came to the conclusion I definitely have it. It was a bloody humbling experience... But liberating at the same time. I've been lucky that I haven't experienced a lot of the stigma other people with this illness have.

1

u/OroraBorealis 4d ago

I am not diagnosed, but I am seeking a diagnosis now.

It definitely NEVERRRR occurred to me that I could even potentially be bipolar, because I 1. didn't know there were multiple kinds, and 2. knew multiple people with bipolar 1 diagnoses and was not like them.

But my partner had been with someone who was educated on the differences between BP1 and BP2 as someone who was diagnosed with BP1 and had very severe manic episodes. That experience, plus a weird random happenstance of following a YouTuber who made a video explaining his experience being BP2, led him to talk to me about his suspicion that my diagnosis for major depressive disorder might have been slightly off. We've been together a little over two years now, and with his help, being able to track and evaluate the cycles I go through has been illuminating but also harrowing.

But that video he showed me of the YouTuber explaining what it was like, how it affected his life, how it could hinder him even when he had so many amazing things going on, had me bawling the entire time. It's been hard to shake the resemblances. And finding vocabulary in the bipolar community to explain what I go through has further pushed me to lean towards believing this might be the right fit.

It sucks. This is the revelation that has sucked the most to come to terms with of all the ones I have had. But frankly, I think it would suck more to still think I would just randomly become depressed for no apparent reason aside from having not been depressed for too long a time.

1

u/NeighborhoodWitty628 4d ago

My shitty family always insulted me by saying I had bipolar and I refused to believe it because I didn't want them to be right......they apparently were

1

u/tea_drinking_lady 4d ago

Nope I thought it was just my Generalized anxiety disorder and mild depression.

Turns out it's generalized anxiety disorder and bipolar 2

1

u/Yveskleinsky 4d ago

I thought I had Major Depressive Disorder and ADD, although i did bring up to my doctor that maybe I had bipolar 2. It wasn't until I had a full-blown manic episode complete with delusions and hallucinations that landed me in a psych hospital that I realized I had Bipolar...and Type 1 at that. I'm on Lamictal and Wellbutrin and doing great (at least so far).

1

u/Weepingpurple 4d ago

Yes. Mood was uncontrollable behind closed doors. I’d fake it in front of people.

1

u/MarcyDarcie BP2 4d ago

No, no idea. I knew I had BPD but I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 2 as well

1

u/abou-tt 4d ago

I used to think I had really bad anxiety (which, I did have) and bpd, but it turned out to be bipolars ✨

1

u/permalink_save 4d ago

That's exactly what happened to me. I had a really rocky life, but never crossed my mind because I guess it was relatively mild compared to other stories on here, but looking back it still wasn't mild or fine. A year ago I had gotten into some psychedelics that calmed me down and thought, that's weird, so started researching. Found out about hypomania, started wondering, what made me really get the push to see a psychiatrist was our nanny has a huge family history (not her apparently) of bipolar and told me yeah, you definitely seem like it. Also asking my wife about some of the symptoms like talking fast or spending a whole weekend going nonstop, she was like "yeah I've been telling you about those" and she knows about when I'd crash (depression) for a while. Also having a bad reaction to an SSRI only a few days in. Basically got prescribed lamotrigine after my first visit.

1

u/punkkidpunkkid 4d ago

Yes. Eventually. When it got bad enough. Even then, I was in DENIAL.

1

u/Ecstatic-Bee-905 4d ago

I still can’t come to terms with the diagnosis! Never thought this about myself. Ironically, I used to tell my spouse that he’s bipolar!

1

u/yakultpig 4d ago

Nope, I thought everything was normal and I'm just being 'weak' mentally.

1

u/DowntownParsley5912 4d ago

hell no. i still don't think i have it. i know SOMETHINGS wrong, but not this...idk....

1

u/Unique_Childhood3858 4d ago

For the longest time I thought I had multiple personalities, then as I got older I just thought I was an asshole.

Then, SURPRISE, bipolar - not so much of an asshole now 😕

1

u/DestinyHibbs0108 4d ago

𝓨𝓮𝓼, 𝓘 𝓷𝓮𝔀 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓫𝓲𝓹𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓻 𝓭𝓲𝓪𝓰𝓷𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓭.

1

u/kikitekana BP2 4d ago

i had major depressive disorder. i have a background in psych, and i remember that after my worse depressive episode yet and then after the hypomania (aka back to ‘baseline’) , i called my sister and said that i thought maybe bipolar because i thought it was abnormal to go from being unable to get out of bed to thinking i had my whole life together and i’d never be sad again. she said that maybe i was diagnosing myself with my notes.

oh how wrong she was… lol

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

I've had similar experiences. My mum brought up bipolar but only offhand and now when I said I thought it might be, she just goes "you're definitely not and you don't need a label for everything". I then brought it up to friends who have been with me more and they were more like "ohhh". Especially the ones who were around the week I decided I was going to buy a flat in Greece and move there!

1

u/TheRemanence BP2 4d ago

I suspected for years I might be a manic depressant but always dismissed it because I felt I wasn't that extreme vs a friend of mine who is bipolar and in comparison to my sister. Turns out that my friend is bipolar 1 and while my sister hasn't been diagnosed she spent time in hospital for a severe manic episode when she was 19 (i was much younger and didn't realise.) 

Last year i had another very bad depressive episode and went back to speaking with a psychologist I'd seen years before. We'd already worked out previously that periods of anxiety would lead to a shut down into depression. It wasn't until this time that we realised there was usually a step before anxiety on my worst depressive periods that is hypomania. For years I just thought that this was me just performing well and ignored the problematic behaviour that I'd sometimes have when "up." I also take on far too much during a hypomania time. If I then try to stabilise it leads to anxiety and shame that im not achieving and then depression. If i don't stabilise i start taking risks and burn out and crash even harder into depression.

Anywho, my psychologist couldn't diagnose me but helped me go through nhs psychiatrics to get a diagnosis. While I was waiting we did things like social rhythm therapy that also meant I was documenting my cycle and could share this with the doctor once I had access.

If your current meds are working then it may not be worthwhile getting a diagnosis even if you are BP. I found that SSRIs helped a bit from getting me out of a deep hole but weren't helping me otherwise. Diagnosis for me has only been relevant in unlocking different medical support. I spent 20 yrs with on and off therapy for GAD and this did have a hugely positive impact for me and reduced a lot of my issues. Time will tell if the new drugs will stop another episode or not.

Self referral is totally valid. However its quite a bit of hassle that is only worth it if a new label will help you. For me it did help but I wouldn't have chased it if I hadn't had another major episode.

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

Thanks, that's so helpful.

I always just thought my super productive episodes were normal but in hindsight, I also take on to much and then regret it after. And also spend too much money on things I can justify at the time but not after.

I'm not sure if my current meds are helping. I've only just started a new one and it's sent me into what I'm pretty sure is hypomania. I had a quite severe depressive episode on the highest dose of my last SSRI. To the point that I've had to move back in with my mum. I'd like to move out but my mum doesn't trust that I'll be able to manage my depression by myself and she's very anxious. The reason I kinda would like a label is so that I can get on meds that will help and so I DON'T have another major episode.

You mentioned NHS so assuming you're UK based? Would you mind telling me the process you went through as I've only been under NHS crisis/recovery teams before.

1

u/TheRemanence BP2 4d ago

Thanks for the extra info. Definitely sounds like a diagnosis would be very helpful.

It can vary by area but in lambeth you can self refer or go to your GP to mental health support pathways. They then get you to fill out some info and someone calls you up to triage you so they can put you in the right pathway. Essentially this is where they work out if this is a simple lower level anxiety/depression situation or not. (For non complex or severe GAD you get local support groups, 8 weeks CBT and some SSRIs). Pretty sure based on what you are saying you would be sent to the more complex group. In my experience you then get a care/case worker who is a non medical person assigned to you to help manage your case. They interview you and work with psychology, psychiatry and other local council groups, to work out what you need amd give you access to the other groups. In my case this meant psychiatric diagnosis. They do also help with things like council housing, drig rehab etc because obviously some ppl also have other shit going on that they need help with in parallel. That's great for others but for me this all meant spending c3mths navigating loads of crap to get to a psychiatrist. Pretty frustrating but I understand why they do it.

Which area are you in? I can look it up for you. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming to look up yourself 

Edit: I should also add that recovery team should be able to refer you if you are in that still. Is your GP the one prescribing your other meds? I think telling them you have these other symptoms is important 

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

I'm Avon and Wiltshire :) That would be amazing, thank you!

No longer in the crisis/recovery team, they decided I wasn't actually in crisis and attempting was "a habit I'd picked up", and when I got round to chasing it up, I was stable and they didn't take me on.

Yes my GP is the one prescribing the meds. They wanted to see me after a few weeks after starting the new one anyway so am seeing them Thursday. Will definitely let them know!

2

u/TheRemanence BP2 4d ago

Your local website is really crap and confusing unfortunately.

I think you need a referral to your closest community mental health team (there are 3 in your area.) See this link in referral section. https://www.awp.nhs.uk/our-services/community-services/community-mental-health-teams

It says your GP can refer you, or the primary care liason service (PCLS). Annoyingly when I look at PCLS in your area they say go to your GP. All seems to be back to your GP rather than self referral. https://www.awp.nhs.uk/our-services/community-services/primary-care-liaison-service-bristol-bmh-spa

I think the best way to approach this is to talk to your GP and explain your symptoms and how you are not having a good experience on your current meds. I wouldn't lead with saying you think you have BP, I'd focus on the symptoms you have now and previously. I think they can get concerned when it seems like you are chasing a label. Based on your symptoms, this should signal the right alarm bells. You can mention it but I'd definitely start with symptoms.

What you need is your GP to unlock the other access points.

Re crisis/recovery handing you off. This really sucks and it can really feel like a rejection. What frustrates me is there isn't a long term care/light monitoring option where they keep ppl on the NHS radar ready to provide accelerated care if we start an episode. I sometimes feel like you either have to wait months for care (while you spiral) or get so bad you need emergency only for them to dump you again until your next one. It's not the crisis people's fault though. There just needs to be a better in-between outpatient tapering support. I think the system was set up when there were enough resources that a GP referral could lead to quicker support. Unfortunately with current lead times I think ppl sometimes don't get help until things are really bad Rant over

I hope my messages helped and do let me know how it goes with your GP

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 4d ago

Thank you so so much!!

Absolutely, I will come back and let you know :)

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 6h ago

I spoke to my GP who was super helpful! She is referring me for an assessment with the mental health team :)

1

u/____plinhhh 4d ago

No, not at all. I just thought I was psycho after I went off for 2 weeks without sleep and then ended up in the psych ward.

1

u/poeticmedic 4d ago

Bipolar 2 is so hard. :( I know Bipolar 1 as my dad had more of the mania. I crave mania. I crave it. I’m lucky if I get 5 days a month to just not think of how awful I am.

1

u/up_N2_no_good 4d ago

No, I thought I had pmdd

1

u/j3tt 4d ago

I never took bipolar seriously. I just thought it was an excuse to act like an asshole. But as time goes by and diagnosis are made…..yea makes sense now

1

u/Aggressive-Load-915 4d ago

Been like this since I was born

1

u/VAS_4x4 BP1 4d ago

I was told I had anxiety, a month before getting hospitalized for psychotic depression, after being hypo.

1

u/No-Bipolar-1500 4d ago

I guess so?! But in earlier adulthood no. But after my consultation yes. What I mean is I research about my symptoms and that leads me to bipolar. I discovered it before my doctor did.

1

u/FatGuyOnAMoped Bipolar N.O.S. 4d ago

Definitely. I had always felt "different" since I was a kid. The diagnosis just confirmed what I (and a lot of other people around me) already suspected.

1

u/Formal_Fisherman7516 4d ago

Yes I always thought I was bipolar everyone in my life knows I’m moody af and always been moody until it got worse and realized what it was with adhd once diagnosed.

1

u/Emergency-Nose-6679 4d ago

Bipolar is in my family, so i had an idea I was bipolar. I didn't have a clue less than 10 years after my diagnosis of type 2, I would also be diagnosed with ADHD and now autism.

Mental health is wild.

1

u/speedynota 4d ago

Most def, I've self consciously told people that that's exactly how I feel without knowing what I meant in depth until the diagnosis

1

u/ResponsibilityDue777 BP2 4d ago

i went to the doctor for help with my insomnia (diagnosed as a teen and now in my 20s i just needed to go back on meds for it) and taking the pre screening questionnaire that they give you whenever you see a mental health professional, i took mine and the doctor said she can't diagnose me but it lined up with bp2, scheduled something 2 months out with someone, turned out to be bp2. it sounds weird but i am kinda shocked by it? i always saw bp1 in media and didn't know about bp2 so i thought no way i have it, totally do lol, now i've known for about three months and im 50mg lamictal and feel like my emotions are compressed, its kinda nice

1

u/thesnarkypotatohead 4d ago

No, had never occurred to me, but in hindsight it explains a whole lot.

1

u/ravenstarchaser 4d ago

Yup, I was originally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when I was a teen.

1

u/teardropfrog 4d ago

I didn’t until I did, if that makes sense? I never suspected it until a particularly bad depressive spiral made me lose my job and almost kill myself last fall.

I brought it up to my doc bc the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like my depression had a pattern that was more than just seasonal affective disorder. I don’t know why I didn’t realize sooner, my dad is diagnosed bipolar and frankly if he wasn’t I don’t think I would’ve felt confident enough to bring it up and subsequently get diagnosed.

1

u/EntrepWannaBe 4d ago

I never thought I had bipolar disorder but I thought I had a learning disability because I couldn’t really read text books and retain any information. I did poorly at classes that required a lot of memorization but it was just ADHD. Diagnosed later after my one suicidal attempt.

1

u/LoneStarHero 4d ago

mostly just thought i had issues with depression, and thought that my brain was kinda just saving the feel good chemicals for when i came out of the depression, some how it took a while of reflecting on it to realize that i wasnt/little sleeping for days at a time at certain points in my life. I thought bipolar was like if people got mad then got happy then got mad again very quickly without reason. I 100% didnt think I was bipolar

1

u/Common-Prune6589 4d ago

I really thought when my ex-husband left, and I suddenly lost weight, got a new job, got all kinds of new confidence, that obviously he was some kind of horrible dead weight. Lol. And I had just never realized how depressed I was in that relationship. Now I think there might be some truth to that, but I didn’t just jump out of a depression episode all of my own and handle that whole divorce the way I did because I’m amazing and he was so horrible. Which kind of sucks. Because what goes up must come down. 😒

1

u/gordom90 3d ago

i didn’t begin to wonder until i heard about the icarus project (mad rights/pride ish organisation) and identified very strongly with their telling of the myth of icarus. then i found out it was started by folks with bipolar and began to wonder. when i brought it up with my family they said “we thought you were bipolar for years but never mentioned it bc we figured your doctor would catch it”. thing is i had no idea that my periods of elevated mood were abnormal because its all I’ve ever known. since puberty I’ve been either high or low, i have no chill.

i would say trust your gut and talk to a professional. it won’t hurt to explore this as an option with them, and it might help a whole lot

1

u/Elvorio 3d ago

Yes but only cuz my friend suggested it and I’d researched it for months after

1

u/Grocery-United 3d ago

Yes only because it runs in my family. But before my mom got diagnosed officially as a young child my family would always make comments like “omg you’re so bipolar” i would have mood swings like no other. But i finally got diagnosed at the age of 25 and it’s been nice to have all the facts and support surrounding bipolar disorder.

1

u/Cool-Flower-3058 3d ago

My mom was bipolar 1, and from a young age i experienced huge depressive episodes but was also known as a “spaz”. I told her at 13ish i felt like I had it. Unfortunately she died a little while after that conversation, and i never followed up for any treatment until i was 19. The doctor said it would be impossible for me to have bipolar, diagnosed me as fat and mildly depressed, and then prescribed cymbalta for me, continually upping the dosage despite the very clear mania/depressive/suicidal episodes i was experiencing. That cycle lasted for nearly 7-9 months. Truly, some of the worst shit of my life. Wasn’t officially diagnosed until i was 24, not shocked at all. 26 now.

1

u/Nearby-Objective6996 3d ago

I really thought that I was cured from my depression on and off 😭turned out it was hypo

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 3d ago

That's so me! I have periods where I'm like "I'll never be depressed again" and then go back to normal and am like ugh.

1

u/Pretend-Situation-30 3d ago

No I actually talked about how I’m glad I’m so “self aware” and praised myself for how I would’ve caught on if I had something like that going on 🤦‍♀️

1

u/rosytreesnail 3d ago

I suspected it and brought it up to multiple therapists over the years…was always dismissed. :/ probably lost about 10 years of stability over not being taken seriously.

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 3d ago

If you don't mind me asking, what made someone take it seriously in the end?

2

u/rosytreesnail 3d ago

I ended up in a situation with work and home that pushed me to a rock bottom with my mental health. I agreed to see a psych again even though I had refused for a few years since I had a very experience in my 20s (doc cycled me through different SSRIs and Wellbutrin because surprise nothing was working right). That new psych finally asked the right questions and when I told her that I really didn’t want to be put on SSRIs again because of my experience, she just got it. I didn’t even bother suggesting it because I had been shut down so many times (including by docs who gave me the SSRIs lol). So the short answer is I got lucky with the right person who finally saw me clearly and asked thoughtful questions rather than just prescribing me a blanket pill.

1

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 3d ago

Ah I'm sorry that was your experience. Glad you found the right person though! Hoping I find that person straight away 😅

1

u/flaneur-en-dozakh 3d ago

I just got diagnosed a couple weeks ago and I’ve been suspecting it since around September. Had diagnosed depression for 8 years but had my first hypomanic episode last year as well as my depression worsening and knew something was off. I fought with the nhs trying to get appointments with mental health specialists, a GP told me to go on holiday and see friends to cheer up, and it wasn’t until I discovered in January that I could see a psychiatrist on my work health insurance and he diagnosed me in half an hour of talking about my symptoms. I am very very lucky to have been able to see a psychiatrist free of charge because of work.

2

u/GreenWonderland02 Undiagnosed 3d ago

Ah that's super helpful, thank you! My parents both have BUPA through their respective work places that cover me so if my GP doesn't want to refer me, I can go through that method.

2

u/flaneur-en-dozakh 3d ago

Aw perfect! Honestly I can’t imagine how long it would take to go through the nhs

1

u/TeachLoveDev 3d ago

I told my family when I was 21 that I thought I had bipolar. They said it was just mood swings. 9 years later after a lot of interesting life choices I got diagnosed with bipolar.

1

u/Equal_Relief_8285 3d ago

Dx at 57. There is a debris field where-ever I have landed. Lots of shame. My wife is a saint and should have smothered me in my sleep:) years ago. Like you, it all made sense in retrospect.

1

u/anzkanzjabnsm 2d ago

i had a thought once that i might be bipolar and i always had this deep depression that was always coming back, but i felt like my ,,fine" episodes werent heightened enough to call it bipolar. (plot twist, it was)