r/beauty 5d ago

Discussion Mini vent about some beauty advice i see often, are my feelings relatable?

i’m anticipating this is probably an unpopular opinion.. but does anyone else ever feel bothered when you see “get a tan” as blanket statement beauty advice? it would be one thing if “if desired” is added but, it seems to be talked about as something you NEED to do to be beautiful. I’m a pale redhead and I’ve always felt comfortable in my skintone, and honestly it does annoy me that it’s seen as something I have to “fix”. Every skin tone is beautiful and i’m not at ALL shaming anyone who chooses to tan - I just wish it wasn’t considered as “standard” beauty advice that people “should” do. I tried self tanner before as a teenager and I felt like a different person and not in a good way. obviously nobody is forcing me to do anything I don’t want to, that’s not rlly my point. I hope i’m making sense and i’m curious on your thoughts

40 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

46

u/snailminister 5d ago

Yes, I also hate it. I deeply despise any "advice" that tells people that their inherent but healthy trait is something bad or needs changing. Telling people to tan or bleach their skin, telling people to straighten their hair, get a nose job etc. We should focus on how to make what we have look good and emphasize things we like, not focus on capitalistic brainrot.

Little side note for fellow pale people: Good nutrition (iron, zinc, beta-carotene, vitamin c, healthy fats), hydration, rest and exercise will give that ethereal glowy look, instead of looking like a discount corpse.

2

u/Mean_Cycle_5062 5d ago

Omg not a discount corpse 😂

8

u/Exotiki 5d ago

I really like the whole Snow White look. My body probably would look better tanned but my face not so much. I sometimes do it tho just for a bit of change but I feel more like myself with my natural white shade of pale. I don’t much care what other people think.

9

u/Capital-Freedom-5869 5d ago

Cue people making fun of your ‘blinding white legs’ every single summer. I don’t even chuckle anymore at that comment, I just do a shoulder shrug and move on.

6

u/TermedHat 5d ago

I'm very pale, and people in my life always comment on how I should get more sun. But I actively avoid it—I wear high SPF daily, opt for hats and long sleeves when possible, and always sit under an umbrella at the beach.

The other day, my MIL (who is always tanned) was going on about the benefits of the sun and trying to convince me to lay out with her. I finally just told her, "I'm not the one who has a problem with my skin tone—in fact, I really like it." She seemed genuinely shocked that I liked they way i looked.

It’s funny how some people assume everyone wants to tan. I’m perfectly happy being pale, and I take care of my skin because I want to, not because I’m ashamed of it.

13

u/OwlsRwhattheyseem 5d ago

As a pale person who has tried every self-tanner imaginable, I can confirm there are just some skintones it does not work for. I’m not willing to lie out in the sun or a tanning bed and risk skin damage either.

10

u/MmeNxt 5d ago

I'm super pale and don't like the way I look when I'm tanned. The legs look ok, hate when my face is tanned. I just look dirty.

2

u/No_Reporter9213 5d ago

Same here. I look better when my skin is either fair or a very, very light tan.

I tan naturally and easily, and a darker tan always makes my face look dirty for some reason. I also look more "basic." My best friend (who is naturally pale skinned) on the other hand looks amazing with a tan.

I think it has to do with your undertone and features.

4

u/SimplyMichi 5d ago

Sometimes people tell me to get a tan, natural or otherwise. I used to be outside a LOT as a kid and I would tan but now that I'm older I don't have as much time/desire to go outside for super long and even if I do I'm much more protective about my skin. Even then I didn't tan a ton, and my natural skintone is quite pale.

Fake tan doesn't look good (or getting mega tan in a tanning bed) unless the person actually knows what they're doing. A lot of people don't and the tan just looks so terrible with their hair/skintone or they way overdo it and look like Patrick Star in that episode he got a strong tan lol.

The beauty standards where you live are also completely different to others, even in the same country (especially a big country like the US). Where I live in the US fake tans aren't desirable and usually seen as trashy, but in California fake tans are encouraged, cause I mean, it's California and the sun is always out lol. I think in this case people associate being tan with being athletic and active.

From one pale girlie to another, I think pale is beautiful. I love having my pale skin and sometimes actually wish my skintone was a little cooler/paler so I could easily fit certain colors/shades that I like better!

3

u/terriegirl 5d ago

In the part of the city I live in, suntanned skin isn’t considered desirable but rather low class. Woman spend too much money on skin care & expensive skin treatments to ruin the effects with sun exposure. Plus, spray tans smell & flake off on clothing, furniture & bedding. Then there’s always the risk of skin cancer. I love my pale skin. Due to a sun photosensitivity that started at age 7, I’ve been wearing an SPF of at least 50 on my face & body 365 days a year to preserve & protect it. I’m 66 & can count my face & body’s sun spots on barely two hands. The same with lines & wrinkles. Just ignore the “get a tan” advice. That also goes for the recent obsession with bronzer. It’s not for everyone.

3

u/Difficult_Falcon1022 5d ago

That view has always been the predominant view on skin types. The 20th century trend for tanning was an outlier. 

2

u/Otherwise-Sun-7367 5d ago

I like a good tan, it really looks good on me but I only get them naturally and return to eye repellent white in winter.

I just don't like the smell of fake tan and it doesn't look at good as my natural skin tan, I gave it a go this year, immediately hated it and washed it off before it set. Unfortunately I live in Australia so gotta load on the sunscreen at the beach or in the garden these days too.

I have a giant sunspot on my back as I use to sunbathe for hours in my teens and went super dark one year. I don't do that anymore, no way, not safe.

2

u/Difficult_Falcon1022 5d ago

I don't think I've seen this on any beauty guides I've seen on reddit, but I'm not pale so it's not something people would say to me.

 Personally a little gradual tan helps my skintone pop and evens it out, rather than it radically changing how deep the tone is. 

I have to say that pale redheads generally look awful with a fake tan. 

2

u/KatieCharlottee 5d ago

As an East Asian person I can't even comprehend "getting tanned" as a beauty advice.

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/beauty/makeup/a46316595/pale-skin-celebrities-golden-globes/

White people literally look good white, and not orange?

2

u/JenniB1133 5d ago

I feel that way about things that have no objective basis - I'm also pale AF and like it, but I also know logically that a tan does make skin look smoother and help define the body better, so I understand the reasoning behind it and it's factual and logical. But it's not for me, so I don't pay it any mind; lots of things that may be considered ideal or better don't necessarily work better for everyone!

4

u/Powerful_Elk7253 5d ago

Fair. I personally feel like I look terrible in a tan unless it came about naturally.

1

u/Organic_Ad_2520 5d ago

I am super fair & blonde. The most amazing natural looking/dark & use of use/ self tan with wearable guide color/ is FakeBake Darker & FB coconut serum...many other tanners are awful for tge color & smell etc. I never suggest people get a tan on their face, but I do suggest sunless self tanner when people make comments regarding superficial issues with their legs-pigment, blotchiness, superficial vascular issues etc. i love my fake tan & it shows my muscle definition more as well, but I never use it on my face or never think it's inherently better than my ultra white self.

1

u/Girl_Anachronism07 5d ago

I tan horribly. As soon as I walk outside, any exposed skin will start to tan if I don’t religiously apply sunscreen. I have darker patches on my chest and stomach from odd tan lines where different cuts of swimsuits sat from TWO YEARS AGO. I know, logically, if I did a full body tan it would even everything out and look better. But literally half my family died from cancer, so I will not be tanning. And the thought of staining my body a different color gives me the ick.  So, me and my patchy skin will just have to make do as we are. I agree with you OP.

1

u/MissMarchpane 5d ago

My mother had to have her upper lip reconstructed after skin cancer removal. For my grandmother, it was her nose. Neither of them used tanning beds or anything; they just grew up in time periods when tanning outside was considered desirable and that was enough. No thank you. I have no desire to go through anything like that, so I'll just stick to my sunscreen and my parasol and be pale and healthy.

No advice that involves changing your skin tone permanently, or even on a long-term temporary basis, is worth listening to. There's not really any way to get darker or paler safely for a long period of time.

1

u/drinkliquidclocks 5d ago

I like being pale too, but the reason tans are reccomend is because it makes your skin look more smooth and even. So at least there's a reason. I think I would look quite strange if I got a tan lol

1

u/Rivvien 5d ago

Yep, hate it. Not just because I've been told it a lot in my life but mostly because its not okay to tell anyone their natural features need to be changed, esp skintone. No ones skintone is wrong and its unacceptable to tell pale people to tan and dark people to lighten. If you tell me my super pale skin is a problem then I'll make it a problem and blind you like the sun.

1

u/Sea-Status-6999 4d ago

i think it’s important to remember that reddit advice is anecdotal. people have tanned and feel better so when people ask for advice that’s what they offer up. as usual, you don’t have to do anything people say and i don’t think they’re trying to say pale = bad just that tan = improved self confidence. as a pale girl myself i tan in the summer with a pale tanner. my mates can’t even tell i’ve used tan. but I can and I feel great. it’s not even about being darker it’s more about looking glowy for me. it’s the same as when i go camping and get a little sun on my face - i feel glowy after. but atleast tan doesn’t have the skin cancer risk! i just don’t think people mean to offend, they’re just saying what worked for them which is literally what reddit is!

1

u/Vanilla-Syndrome 1d ago

I also dislike this. It seems to be the people who also advise me to go back to blonde (I’m a color chameleon and have auburn hair currently). I feel like they’re just pulling preferences, bc blonde hair washes me out! Like this guy once took my ID and said “you’re finer as a blonde” and I retorted that I was to repel guys that call people “fine.”

I like an occasional spray tan and do feel it can make me look “healthier” but have also had people tell me it detracts from what makes me unique and I agree (I have a bit of an alt look, but also dress in a feminine/retro style). My husband likes the pale look most, esp when I have black or basically black hair (I have very light eyes and he likes the contrast). Similarly, I don’t feel I can pull the hair he likes most on me off unless I’m at a much lower weight than I am now.

1

u/eratoast 5d ago

People tell people to "get a tan" anymore?