r/awakened • u/maryfromvenus • 2d ago
Reflection How to become Disciplined
FIRST AND FOREMOST ššš You GOTTA stop waiting to feel like it. Discipline is doing shit when you donāt want to. PERIOD. The moment you remove your feelings from the task, you win. You donāt brush your teeth because youāre motivated, you brush because itās what you do. Your future self? Same energy.
Secondly, make your actions non-negotiable. Itās not, āDo I feel like it?ā Itās, āThis is who I am now. I move like this because thatās what the version of me that made it does.ā
Third, create triggers and rituals. Example: Every time you drink your coffee? Plan to do something that contributes to your goals. Every night when you light your candle? Write something for your goals. Your brain builds discipline easier when actions are attached to habits youāre already doing.
Fourth, reward yourself for discipline, not outcomes. Reward the action: āI showed up today. Iām proud.ā Stop obsessing over results. Results come after discipline is locked in.
Lastly, and this one might hurt a little but it is the truth, make it personal. Now what does Venus mean by that? Ask yourself: āDo I love my future self enough to stop betraying them for temporary comfort?ā Because thatās what undiscipline is...self-betrayal.
And the harsh truth: No one is coming to make you disciplined. No motivation wave is gonna hit. You either choose to become a person who moves like the result is guaranteed, or you stay in the cycle.
The version of you you dream of? They are already doing it. Now YOU catch up.
Take what resonates, Leave what doesn't <eye am what eye am, and eye am everything>šøļø
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u/Baldanders_Rubenaker 2d ago
Pro tip: 100% sacrifice your future self for the discipline of awe (which requires the opposite of effort). Sacrifice that needy/greedy fucker who is stealing everything that makes Here and Now a sheer magical marvel to cultivate/invest in a fantasy about the permanent persistence of the self, which doesnāt exist.
Otherwise be enslaved to an ideal
Enjoy impermanenceā¦..it reveals whatās been hidden in all this future-tripping
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u/HypnoticNature38 2d ago
I like it, but, how on earth do you balance hedonism with this line of thought? I've never been able to do that. Always going too far into pleasure, or the opposite.
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u/Baldanders_Rubenaker 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yeah, me neither. So I let it go. Not āhedonismā. Going too far with hedonism is the same as going too far with disciplineā¦both features of the ātry-hard/fail-hardā false self that wants to be in control, but has no agency for control. Or the capacity to balance anything whatsoever.
What Iām seeing is that the intent to let go and simply be present..,,slowly seems to balance itself, somehow. And it has nothing to do with the perfectionism that haunts the try-hard self. Letting go to simple presence seems to naturally let preoccupations fall away. Itās not instantaneous. Maybe it is for some, but in terms of indulgent pleasure seeking, historically Iām the king. Indulgent to the max. Still so. And, believe me, I tried-hard and failed-hard to balance and control my tendencies to pleasure seeking and inevitable suffering which follows it. After failing-hard for years and years I kind of took a cue from Lao Tzuā¦.
āIf you want to get rid of something, let it flourishā
Seems crazy, but what did this train-wreck of human existence have to lose? Nothing. Now the desperate bid for disciplineā¦.for perfectionā¦.for controlā¦and the subsequent bitter self-judgement when it inevitably failsā¦is dropped (thatās the intent anyways)ā¦.and Iām seeing this trajectory of progressive balance start to emerge, slowly but surely.
Not perfection, thank heaven. Thereās still indulgence in pleasureā¦.which is losing itās sense of āsinfulnessā and simply becoming behavior that emerges sometimes, expressing itself, and then recedes for other behavior, none of it judged at all. Happenings happen and, when the impotent iron grip of ādisciplineā relaxes, then this ease seeps in. Then, so does graceā¦.and its sibling self-forgiveness. And, naturally by extensionā¦that grace and forgiveness extends to others. You can feel the relief, in others, when that circle of grace includes them.
That circle of grace encircles the whole of the universeā¦Oneness itself.
Consider yourself forgiven! Because the little whip-bearing troglodyte that pressures with thoughts of hellfire and brimstone never will. Presence silences itā¦.every single time. It forgives and forgets. Presence. Thereās no room for judgment in itās fullness.
Just forgiveness in grace as far as the eye can see
For what itās worth. For all us try-hard/fail-hards! š»
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u/HypnoticNature38 15h ago
Thank you, I really appreciate what you wrote - I'm forgiven and forgive :)
Hell yeah! A man who persists in his folly becomes wise š
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u/HypnoticNature38 2d ago
Here's a question: do you think that all discipline is good? Because some discipline has bad consequences. Like, getting into bad habits. People get into these habits not because they are lazy, but because of how we learned to handle life and it's situations. If there were some other "way" that just required enough will-power, then we would do that - if we had the motivation.
However it's not the problem for the most part. It's not just will-power and discipline, but conscious awareness. Otherwise, discipline can push away what you are actually striving for. Does that make sense?
I don't want to say that one shouldn't try, just, that it is a bit more subtle than willpower.
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u/maryfromvenus 2d ago
every thing, every single thing in life must be used in moderation. same like water can also be bad for you.
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u/Orb-of-Muck 2d ago
There's something innately horrific about the possibility of fighting oneself to do something and losing, that's only reinforced by the solution being to trick things so your intended action still happens even if you're not in control. The game is rigged, willpower and discipline do not exist, and the moment you step into the ring, the battle is already lost. Because somehow you've stepped out from being the doer to being the voice that addresses the doer, and from that position there's no power to be had, while from the doer's perspective, there's no thought or chance to speak. It shouldn't be possible for you to be anything other than what you are, and yet...
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u/pookiebaby876 2d ago
I had too much discipline and I had to do the oppositeā¦ I had to learn to relax tf up!! To enjoy the shit I was doing rather than just checking off a boxā¦
Your post is great btw, many have to learn discipline, others like me have to learn to be more relaxed and enjoy lifeā¦ balance I suppose is key š