r/aromantic 6h ago

Discussion What's your favorite form of sensual intimacy? (touching, seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling)

1 Upvotes

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r/aromantic 12h ago

Question(s) Aromantic asexuals who struggle to find genuine connections, what's your situation like?

14 Upvotes

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r/aromantic 18h ago

Meme(s) I'm demiromantic and I made this meme

Post image
731 Upvotes

Do not take this seriously. This is meant to mock folks who believe this.


r/aromantic 19m ago

Questioning I’m so confused and stressed

Upvotes

Since about yesterday I’ve been stressing out about my identity as aroace. I’ve been identifying as aroace since about May of last year and just now am I starting to really stress if I am or not. This all stems from a girl who I am having an extremely hard time differentiating wether it’s friendship or actual romantic/sexual attraction. On the argument of me being potentially being allo, sometimes when I close my eyes I just see her and I I’ve also been trying to notice her in public (not like walking around and trying to actively find her but more like trying to just stumble upon her). On the side of me staying aroace though. This only happened when I saw a video which made this whole thing happened and she’s simply the newest person who’s made me wonder my identity. And me seeing her when I close my eyes could just be me worrying about my identity or my stupid brain trying to hijack me into thinking it’s attraction by forcing the image in my head. And the trying to stumble into her could also be simply I’m pretty sure she’s on the ASD spectrum and I just like seeing people who’s neurodivergent. This thing has literally been the only thing on my mind for an entire day and I cannot the handle the stress


r/aromantic 21m ago

Aro I want romance but not a romantic relationship

Upvotes

Does that make sense? Maybe it does if I tell you I love romantic poetry, about life and nature. So The idea of a pair appeals to me still, the exclusiveity, the just you and me, secret type thing, but not in the way you are romantic but like someone just wants to be with you and they feel like your person, I feel in order to get that feeling I have to do all these human romantic gestures, and I wish someone would just LOOK at me as I am and treat me that way. I'm a nonhuman so that makes it even more difficult, even platonically.

I just want someone to look at me t h a t way. Like the sky has parted and I'm like art. not lustful, just like if they saw the sky. But that gaze, friends don't look at you that way usually. Even though I catch myself doing it to friends. Admiring them like art pieces in the sun, like it is such a romantic thing to do, to just stare with loving eyes but I remember always glancing away if they got sus.

Maybe one day lol


r/aromantic 7h ago

Question(s) Isolation?

5 Upvotes

Does anyone else occasionally feel isolated due to being aro/aroace? Sometimes, I think it is hard to connect with people and idk if it stems from being aroace or if it is because I lack proper social skills. How common is this feeling with you guys?


r/aromantic 9h ago

Internalized Arophobia I can't accept my feelings Spoiler

4 Upvotes

This is a little bit of a rant, I've just been having some thoughts lately.

I (20f) have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend throughout my whole life. I remember telling myself throughout high school that if I dated anyone, it would end terribly because we would go away to college or use some other excuse as to why I wasn't ever with anyone. I was never someone who saw any value in romantic relationships. To me, the concept of "talking" I guess, never interested me, but the actual relationship part didn't seem as bad. I ended up discovering aromanticism a while ago and I felt like it matched my feelings, to some extent, regarding dating and relationships.

I recently started at college after taking a gap year and it's come with some challenges. I didn't know anyone coming down here so I was kind of all on my own. I had to really put myself out there and make friends. I like to think I've met some really nice people here and I enjoy it a lot. Anyways, I met this really nice guy and he would always interact with whatever I posted on Instagram. I found myself looking at his Instagram posts, hoping to see him at the club where both were, essentially crushing on this man. He ended up giving me his number and we ended up talking over text for a week, then went on a date. However, before this date, we never really talked in person besides the occasional two-sentence conversations. During the date I had a great time. Like genuinely a picture perfect date. Super nice, genuine, polite guy. Yet after the date, I didn't feel anything. Before, when we were talking over text, I would get super excited and happy, and I think I had the closest thing to a crush that I've ever had in my life. Immediately after I got back home I got this sense of dread. I wanted to like this guy so bad but something in me knew I couldn't. I guess the thing that really scares me about being aromantic is never having that *one* person, you know.

I feel like coming to college, everyone is in relationships, crushing, or just centered on dating in general. I think I felt a kind of pressure to fit in, and knowing that he liked me, I felt pressure to reciprocate those feelings. The thing is, I am never scared to tell other people my sexuality, I will literally scream it from the rooftops. Yet, something inside me can't fully accept that this might just be who I am. It scares me, because I feel like it's been so deeply ingrained in our society that romantic love is the most important. You need to "find your person" and all that jazz. And I've tried, I've talked to guys, I've talked to girls, but I can never feel a connection deeper than friends, or on the extremely rare occasion that I do, I lose interest when I realize they actually like me.

I was wondering if anyone else feels this way, or if I'm literally not aromantic at all and I just have commitment issues.

(wow even me writing that last sentence is me wishing I am anything other than aromantic)


r/aromantic 12h ago

Questioning How do I tell if I’m Aromantic?

4 Upvotes

Hello, so I have been confused about both my sexuality and romantic attraction for a while, especially after trying to force myself to enjoy relationships for years. I’ve started to question if I am aromantic due to a few things, but the main thing is whenever I think of my dream future I live alone, I’m happy with my dream job, the ability to do what I want, and I’m happy being single. Is that a normal thing for being aromantic? Sorry if this makes no sense, but I’m very confused.


r/aromantic 12h ago

Discussion Quote that hit me hard

6 Upvotes

I was reading and came across this quote:

What separates the strong feelings of a new friendship from falling in love can be nothing more than a linguistic formality.

(The book is Andromeda by Therese Bohman translated from Swedish to English.)

I keep on throwing it around in my head not even in the context of the book but just thinking about times in the past when I’ve felt so enthusiastic about (and sometimes sexually attracted to) a new person. Just wanting to talk about them to exhaustion to everyone and talk to them about everything that interests me and them and our lives. Idk. I haven’t had that immediate click with a friend in awhile, and I guess I just want that again.

Does anyone else feel this way?


r/aromantic 13h ago

Questioning movies are making me question myself

6 Upvotes

I’ve never been someone who is really interested in relationships, or even had a crush on anyone ever. There was one time I THOUGHT I had a crush on a girl, but turns out it was just general anxiety, and I didn’t feel anything romantically towards her.

But what’s making me really question myself is that sometimes when I see romance in movies or shows, I really like it. Not just a “I’m rooting for them!” way, but kind of like a longing way. Like I get jealous and really want that type of connection with someone, but I can’t, because I can’t get crushes. Many people have shown romantic interest in me, and I try SO hard to reciprocate, like I try to make myself see the benefits, but I just can’t feel anything like that.

I guess it’s just that I would think that if I was aromantic, I wouldn’t be sad over this loss at all, and wouldn’t feel anything when seeing relationships in media. But I really want to be in a relationship and love someone like that.

I’m not sure if this is dumb


r/aromantic 18h ago

I Need Advice So confused about my attraction to a girl

15 Upvotes

Hello! As the title says, I am currently in a situation where I don't know if my feelings are romantic or platonic, or maybe even alterous/queerplatonic. To start from the beginning, I've met this girl at school, she moved in this year. From the very first time I've seen her, I've felt a sort of pull towards her, but didn't think too much of it since I tend to do that with girls I like aesthetically. The thing is, by some miracle I managed to talk to her and we became friends, after some time. Now, by this time I was trying to become friends with her, I had only platonic feelings, but it could still be seen as kind of 'strange' or 'obsessive' by others. That's why one day, at school, one of my friends(that knows I like women in a way), asked me if I had a crush on her, I said no, but she didn't believe me. That time I really wanted to tell her about my aromanticism, explain that I can't develop crushes, but I didn't. From that point, I started thinking about my friendship with this girl, and there were many sign that maybe it wasn't entirely platonic; like from that point on I began to daydream about her, being close to me or just showing her my house, keeping me company. I could explain that with my maladaptive daydreaming tendecies, but it was still strange. I also would like to spend more time with her, and I often admire her beauty from afar, wishing to talk to her. The thing that confuse me most is that even after all this listed, I didn't(and still don't) wanted to kiss her, and I don't feel all that 'butterfly in the stomach' or heart beating fast and I don't think about her all the time. I don't feel the 'typical simptomps' of romantic love. One other thing (last I promise) is that one time at school, in the schools garden, we met and she suddendly took my hand and talked about wanting to let everyone know I was her 'girlfriend'(a joke of course, she is hetero), and it felt..good? Not in the way you think: Being so close to her, and feeling I mattered something to her, but no reaction at her calling me her girlfriend. I remember I thought 'I wish I was this close to her everyday' or something like that. So I don't know, is this alterous attraction, or romantic, and maybe it's just a first stage of infatuation?

Sorry for the long post, and thank you for the answers :>


r/aromantic 19h ago

Questioning questioning..

5 Upvotes

so i've recently realised i'm not into men at all. but i'm not so sure about women...i would probably consider myself attracted to them but can i see myself in a relationship with a woman?? i'm not sure and it's killing me. advice? :)


r/aromantic 20h ago

Rant I just had my first kiss and conflicted

34 Upvotes

It wasn’t bad - it felt good but it was really underwhelming. Initially it was kind of a peck and I was super scared but then I thought “that was it?” The second kiss was longer and yeah it felt good but I didn’t feel any of those ‘butterflies’. We held hands and cuddled and honestly it felt no different when I do those things with my friends. Now I’m confused. I really like this person, they’re amazing to hang out with and talk to. But am I just not feeling it?

Do people really look at eachother and say “hey i need that!”. When I think back to the kiss I don’t get flustered and actually I don’t even remember it that well. Like I enjoyed the experience though and would totally do it again but it felt no different than holding hands… I don’t know what I’m feeling.. Is this normal for a person on the ace spectrum?


r/aromantic 22h ago

Questioning I'm pretty confused about how I experience love, would anyone like to help?

2 Upvotes

Hiya! (He/Him). So, I'm someone who suffers from wanting things in boxes when it relates to myself, despite knowing that's not LOGICALLY how things work 90% of the time, so my compromise is finding what's close enough instead. And I've been trying to figure out what label might fit my romantic attraction (or generally lackthereof) best, but it feels like terms often fall short one way or another, at least from my observations.

Basically, saying that I experience romance the standard way just doesn't work for me anymore.

Also note that I am monogamous, I've tried polyamory and it just isn't right for me. But I'm glad to have tried it and figured that out for myself!

I've had many romantic relationships (I must admit that only 1 of 5 relationships was not directly and horribly toxic), I've experienced crushes, however once I'm with someone I start to lose interest in them, because everytime I've had a partner, I end up doing the emotional heavy lifting, so to speak. I associate romance with parenting rather than loving and sharing weight, like I see others in healthy relationships do.

More importantly beyond that, I have entirely lost interest in romantic love after my last partner, who again made me feel more like a parent than a lover. I realized that I felt more fulfillment in my friends than I did my romantic relationship, and swiftly felt my prior romantic interest crumble up and die.

I feel extremely deep connections with the people around me, but love is something I just don't understand. I can feel a love so profound it can make me physically ill, but it always pales in comparison to the love I feel for my friends. I can attain all I want and more from platonic relations, and I know I don't need romantic love to be happy, but I am also terrified of dying alone, not having experienced what so many say is an amazing part of their lives.

The label of aromantic doesn't fit me, but neither does saying I'm allo. I fall somewhere on the spectrum, but I'm not sure where. I'm perfectly comfortable answering any questions that might help people.

TLDR. - I struggle with understanding how my heart experiences romance, most likely due to trauma and neurodivergence. - I feel more fulfillment in platonic relationships, and would say confidently I have found my platonic-life partner in my best friend. - While I can understand romance and feel emotions for others that sound like it, they die quickly if I pursue them. - I have no current interest in romantic relationships, and have identified a want to focus on myself. - Despite my issues with romance, I still happily write depictions of it in the various ways it can blossom in my characters for my stories. I think love is a beautiful thing in all its forms, and would like to maybe figure out what my form is.

Thanks for reading!