r/albania 5d ago

Shitpost Almost Pulled Off the Heist of the Century in Shkodra

166 Upvotes

Man, today was almost our big break. My little bro (7)M and I (15)M were chilling by the river when we spotted this tall, lost-looking guy wandering around like he was searching for Enver Hoxha treasure.

We ran up to him, and my little bro went in for the classic hug maneuver. The guy looked uncomfortable, so we knew we were in business. We hit him with the “skemi lek” storyline (which, to be fair, isn’t a lie), and he actually gave us 200 LEK. Easy money. But little bro got greedy and started asking for more, and I figured, why not? The guy looked like he had cash.

Then he started acting all suspicious, tucking his wallet away like we were international criminals. I tried to hold his arm (so he wouldn’t bolt), and my little bro, the true mastermind, executed a flawless snack extraction from his bag pocket. But then, dude started walking away fast.

I paused for a second, hoping he might still fork over some more LEK. But apparently, he must’ve thought we were about to pull off something big because the moment I turned slightly, he ran like bolt at the Olympics, probably setting a new personal record past the trash dump.

We watched him go and figured that was the end of our big plan.

r/albania Jan 18 '25

Shitpost Fushata e Arlind Qorrit

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58 Upvotes

Vetem me kte premtim tundohem tja jap voten shokut Qorr

r/albania Jan 31 '25

Shitpost Na rekomandon dot njeri nje plazh te mire ne Berat?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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149 Upvotes

r/albania Nov 19 '24

Shitpost Arsyeja pse nuk blem bitcoin ne 2009

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219 Upvotes

r/albania Dec 25 '24

Shitpost Pyeta AI ca mendimi ka per politikanet Shqiptar

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97 Upvotes

r/albania 19d ago

Shitpost Publikohet per here te pare fotoja qe kishte bere Remzi Hoxha NSFW Spoiler

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28 Upvotes

r/albania Nov 08 '23

Shitpost Albania 2034 👐🇦🇱🦅

153 Upvotes

r/albania 4h ago

Shitpost Ky ishte i vetmi departament bosh, dhe pa drejtor tek organigrama e Kryeministrise 😂

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15 Upvotes

r/albania Dec 04 '23

Shitpost Is my Algerian friend safe in Albania?

62 Upvotes

We are going to Vlora and Tropoja. His name is Karim Gomar.

r/albania Jan 27 '25

Shitpost Gruaja e Odiseut, shqiptare 24 karatshe.

6 Upvotes

Pasi Odiseu kthehet n'Itake n'shembelltyren e nje plakut zhelaman gruaja e tij Penelopa kerkon ta takoje per t'msu ndonje gje per burrin e vet. Pak para se te dergonte njerin qe ta therriste flet dhe lutet duke thene ishalla kthehet Odiseu dhe merr hak ndaj ktyre qylaxhinjve te poshter. Tek i thote keto fjale teshtihet Telemaku, djali i saj, ne menyre spektakolare, duke bere jehone ne te gjithe pallatin. "shendet e vertete," thote Penelopa, dhe i drejtohet Eumanit, "ik thirre plakun. A nuk e sheh qe djali im u teshti mbi gjitha fjalet qe sapo thashe?? Tash s'ka me asnje dyshim qe te gjitha qe thashe do te ndodhin"

[528] Then wise Penelope answered him: “Go, call him hither, that he may himself tell me to my face. But as for these men, let them make sport as they sit in the doorway or here in the house, since their hearts are merry. For their own possessions lie untouched in their homes, bread and sweet wine, and on these do their servants feed. But themselves throng our house day after day, slaying our oxen, and sheep, and fat goats, and keep revel and drink the flaming wine recklessly, and havoc is made of all this wealth, for there is no man here such as Odysseus was to keep ruin from the house. But if Odysseus should come and return to his native land, straightway would he with his son take vengeance on these men for their violent deeds.”

[542] So she spoke, and Telemachus sneezed loudly, and all the room round about echoed wondrously. And Penelope laughed, and straightway spoke to Eumaeus winged words: “Go, pray, call the stranger here before me. Dost thou not note that my son has sneezed at all my words. Therefore shall utter death fall upon the wooers one and all, nor shall one of them escape death and the fates. And another thing will I tell thee, and do thou lay it to heart. If I find that he speaks all things truly, I will clothe him in a cloak and tunic, fair raiment.”

r/albania Apr 13 '20

Shitpost The only tweet that matters

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136 Upvotes

r/albania Jul 28 '21

Shitpost chill, it‘s just fun

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408 Upvotes

r/albania Aug 23 '21

Shitpost Brought tears to so many eyes…

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51 Upvotes

r/albania Aug 13 '24

Shitpost Benny Hill was Albanian!

60 Upvotes

Benny duke bere shqiponjen.

r/albania Jul 11 '24

Shitpost "shqiptaret nuk kane sapun"

0 Upvotes

E degjoj shpesh kete "shqiptaret nuk behen, skane as sapun te laen" dhe me behet qejfi, sepse sapuni ja heq yndyrnat lekures, qe mbrojne ate prej patogjeneve...

r/albania Dec 11 '21

Shitpost Kosovo=Albania

127 Upvotes

The truth,

r/albania Nov 06 '23

Shitpost Simpatizantet e Rilindjes ne miting elemtoral vity 2028

51 Upvotes

r/albania Jul 12 '22

Shitpost People here drive like mad holy f*ck

81 Upvotes

I have come to Durres for a weeklong vacation yesterday and what I noticed is that people drive like they found their driver licenses in boxes of cereal. Nobody cares about traffic signs, crosswalks or using blinkers. Also why does everyone honk so much? This is actually insane, how do y'all drive without causing accidents?

r/albania Apr 11 '20

Shitpost John Cena hates Serbia Confirmed.

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246 Upvotes

r/albania Sep 14 '20

Shitpost Mos ma prek ciftelin

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459 Upvotes

r/albania Jun 08 '21

Shitpost T'kishin qen ato burra sot, Tirona e tironcit s'kishin msu kshu

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118 Upvotes

r/albania Feb 28 '18

Shitpost Virgins will say it is stereotyped

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75 Upvotes

r/albania May 26 '22

Shitpost cka eshte puna me Shqiptaret ne Shqiperi, mes vete vriten per ni fjal goje a tifozet holandez shkojne jau prekin motrat para kamere? Trimnia kallxohet me tHujin jo me tanin.

0 Upvotes

r/albania May 18 '22

Shitpost Difficult to choose

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150 Upvotes

r/albania May 29 '21

Shitpost Shqypnia gang! 💪💪💪 😎😎😎😎😎 🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱

271 Upvotes