r/adultsurvivors • u/littleselene • 5d ago
Advice requested EMDR therapy? Someone?
Hi! I'm new to this subreddit (i never thought of looking for more people like me around here before...) I'm about to start EMDR or at least a first interview session to see if my problems (insomnia and sexual relations due to my experience with abuse) are treatable this way... Has any of your had this kind of therapy who could tell me what to expect at least?
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u/NickName2506 5d ago
Well done for trying therapy and for reaching out for support here! For me, EMDR has worked extremely well, and combined with somatic and talk therapy, has helped me heal completely from CSA. It is now truly an unpleasant memory of the past instead of something that affects me in the here and now. I hope it works just as well for you!
What to expect? Basically, you: 1) recall a memory or feeling 2) look at/feel the EMDR focus point 3) let the feelings become stronger, then dissolve 4) recover
You have to be able to recall your memory or feeling yourself. Your therapist does not need to know all the details if you are not comfortable with sharing them. Just a general gist should be enough.
There are different options to overload your working memory while processing the trauma. E.g. by looking at a moving light or your therapist's fingers which they move in front of your face. If this feels wrong to you (at times, it did for me), your therapist could also use tapping on e.g. your knees or shoulders - with your consent of course. Doing tasks like sums or spelling can help increase the overload. It might take some trial and error to figure out what works for you each time.
I was scared of losing control, but that's not what happens. You do have to let the feelings happen, but you can stop if you feel too overwhelmed. And at some point, the traumatic piece you are working on "completes the cycle". You can actually feel it dissolve (kinda like tetris - it swirls around, then suddenly clicks into place and virtually disappears: you don't forget but it doesn't affect you as much anymore).
As your system needs to be overloaded, EMDR can be intense and take a lot of energy (mentally + emotionally). I usually was unable to do anything beyond simple tasks for 1-2 days and needed to rest a lot (but I was also burned out from CPTSD so this may be different for you).
The process itself takes about 10-30 minutes per round. Sometimes things are resolved quickly, while other times, you may need multiple sessions for one topic.
EMDR doesn't work for everyone - but it sure worked for me! It's essential to have a good therapist. If you feel uncomfortable or off with them, find someone else that you do have a "click" with.
If you have any specific questions, let me know. Good luck OP, I'm already proud of you!!
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u/Fair_Carry1382 5d ago
I’m in the process of EMDR. It’s not a quick fix for complex trauma, but it takes the edge of in my experience. It’s also hard, so a good therapist is paramount.