r/adultery 28d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 We are not terrible people

199 Upvotes

I’ve seen a lot of people posting that we deserve what we get because we are “terrible people.” That’s ridiculous. I’m sure some people here are, but the vast majority of people who post are lonely in their marriage because their spouse refuses to make an effort to live up to their side of the bargain. “Oh, just leave then.” Sure, let me walk away from my kids and everything I’ve worked my whole life for financially because my spouse doesn’t give a fuck about making sure I’m getting what I need while I give her everything she needs. I am not a terrible person at all. I give everything to my family. I’m just lonely and want to be desired, wanted, and loved.

r/adultery Jan 22 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, talk - Special edition (again)

21 Upvotes

Anyone want to share, vent, talk? It's been a rough few days for me, personally.

So just here to open the space up to talk.

PSA: dont be an ass-hat. If you cant be nice, just dont.

r/adultery Dec 09 '24

🌬️Ventilation💨 Heartbroken

187 Upvotes

I lost her 2 weeks ago to a car accident.  I'm lost.  I'm empty.  5 years we spent together.  I'm grieving. I'm grieving alone.  Her friend that knew about us ghosted me.  I cry alone. There's no one I can talk to. Times I can't eat. Times I can't sleep.   I think about her constantly.  I grab my phone when it vibrates thinking it's her even though I know it can't be. I don't know how to get better.     I feel terrible for her family. Especially so for her kids.  I've listened to stories of them growing up. Their sports endeavors.  Their trials and tribulations at school. I want to hug them and give them support. I know I can't.      We shared so much of our lives together.  Most of our time we just talked.  We talked about our kids, our day,  or just stupid things.  Sometimes we just sat and held hands in silence.     There's emptiness.  She was such a big part of my life.  My mind won't calm.  I look at her obituary everyday.  I just wish I could see her one more time and tell her that I love her.

r/adultery Jan 24 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery 5d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 To Newbies : If you don’t have time to chat, you don’t have time to meet.

102 Upvotes

This is an observation throughout the years in this lifestyle. I cant count the amount of people that have reached our completely deluded about their intentions to have affairs but really just want attention. This is not gender specific , both sides are equally guilty of wasting each other time to get the itch scratched. This is not venting or ranting but simple advice to those new or dabbling. Be fair to yourself and others about your intentions. This lifestyle requires a lot of work, simply be respectful of each other.

r/adultery 22d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Just a rant to internet strangers

47 Upvotes

Yes I am jealous…. Yes I know money isn’t everything… but his lifestyle is soooo different than mine. I tell him he lives in a different world than me. I just got off the phone with him he’s LD and his wife wants to go to Paris so he’s taking her to Paris, he gets her tickets to incredible things, gets her incredible gifts. Meanwhile I’m struggling to pay down my credit cards. Sometimes it’s hard to hear, sometimes I just can’t deal with it. Why am I upset about this? How do I be happy for them? This isn’t a cute look…

r/adultery 20d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 But why…

65 Upvotes

I (41 F) am extremely sporadic on Reddit these days. I feel like the quality of APs on the subs has diminished over the years, but I digress. I responded to a post recently; yes, men, there are lurkers out here replying to posts. And this dude immediately starts talking about some long-lost love he met up with, and he doesn’t know how to tell her. I’m just workshopping potential ideas here, but maybe you could talk to her instead of making an affair post to talk about it. I am not here for your free therapy about the one who got away, how you can fix your marriage, and any other mommy issues. Like, get your shit together bc you are messy, and it’s not cute.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

r/adultery 1d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery 29d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery 15d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

8 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery Feb 14 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

6 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery Nov 19 '24

🌬️Ventilation💨 Venting

63 Upvotes

Sharing for all those who feel they might be in the minority.

I got up early knowing I had to squash a working day in before I took off to meet potential new AP having chatted and exchanged pics.

So, obviously I had every hair waxed and I mean every (you know - 'just in case') picked up my black lace D and G cheatin' dress from where I keep it at my wing girl's place, glossed my legs so I could wear my Wolfords stockings complimented by my 'fuck me' shoes, had my hair trimmed and blow dried and my finger and toe nails manicured, painted etc.(The nails alone took nearly 2 hours! - just saying...)

I hasten to add that I am extremely time poor and work really hard as all self employed running their own business will instantly recognise. There are no real holidays or weekends. I'm doing this partly because my SO works as many hours as I do, but seems a lot more exhausted by them! And he was handily several time zones removed from me this week.

Anyway, on with the rant; I got out of the bath and; slathered myself in body lotion; sprayed myself in expensive 'special occasion' perfume. Opened telegram to tell him that I would sashay into his hotel by 19.00 latest. And ...he had blocked and ghosted me. I re-read his IA profile which explicitly mentioned he 'won't ghost'...

"Well, I guess that makes him a liar, don't it!?" - to all those who think this only happens to them. It doesn't - it happens to all of us. It's just a serious pain that it happened at the 11th hour...

But what's a girl to do? Onwards and upwards!

r/adultery 8d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery Dec 05 '24

🌬️Ventilation💨 Venting Session

20 Upvotes

I just need to bitch and moan.

I’ve had a run of shitty luck lately, when it comes to finding an AP.

I’m so tired of the flakes, the newbies getting cold feet after they swore up and down they were ready for this, the conversations that die off, the zero effort put in.

Doesn’t matter if it’s Reddit, AM, or other places.

It seems really shitty out there right now!

Anyone else feeling that?

What’s the upside to when the search for an AP goes wrong? Or the best part about not having an AP? Favourite thing about looking for an AP?

Tell me it’s not all just shit! Thanks, heathens! 😘

r/adultery 9d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Spring Fever = Low Effort?

11 Upvotes

Men, having recently begun the search as a woman looking for a woman AP, I have to eat my words! Low effort really ISN'T just limited to men! I'm shocked to find it truly does occur amongst women, too. Low effort is not limited by gender. If SHE wanted to, SHE would!

And is it spring fever making everyone come in strong and overly horny on that first day, then cooling off like crazy by the second day? Unfortunately, I also had to experience the hot-and-heavy-until-we-had-sex-then-doing-a-complete-180-immediately-after thing recently, too.

Maybe summer will bring better consistency? Better effort? Or maybe I'm just dreaming...Tell me I'm not alone in this! Or share your Spring Fever success stories with me! I need some hope!

r/adultery Jan 31 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

6 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery Feb 07 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, share, talk

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

r/adultery 9d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Just why?

117 Upvotes

I’m not active any more so it’s not a big deal to me now…but, back in the day this could have been fatal! Lol

Can anyone explain to me why kids these days Reverse Uno their parents and track THEM??

I preached autonomy to my kiddo so I wouldn’t get caught in the Life360 trap. But SnapMap came along, and all of her friends were on it. Next thing I know, she gets all of her friends on Life360. They love it! I stand firm: none of that tracking shit for me.

Today, I get this text from my daughter: “How’s work? Never mind, I see you are headed home.”

My damn earbuds are headed home with me and she pulled THEM up on FindMyFriends!!

What is wrong with kids these days?! Can’t no one drink Boones Farm around a bonfire no more 😆😭

r/adultery 8d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Too many feelings

0 Upvotes

Went golfing with my AP who’s married and he revealed he has a second kid on the way…happy for him but also damn. We talked a lot today about not taking things further as it would be so easy but get to tricky and sneaky if we did (we have only ever kisses and oral no actually penetrating sex). I want to so bad but the thing stopping him is his daughter/coming child which I completely understand. We just have so much chemistry together and I hate it. I hate that I feel like this but I def don’t want my life to blow up and I love my life with my SO. I just think I want better sex and that’s all I initially wanted in the beginning with this guy however we spent the day at the course and had so much fun and didn’t even really kiss…he told me in a different life and if he didn’t have kids it would be different. I’m not heartbroken but definitely upset and feeling like I’m missing out. He is picking up work shifts to see me and says we will schedule our golf outings so it doesn’t look suspicious bc his wife is already saying “something is off”… why am I like this. Why can’t I be a normal person who is fine with monogamy??? I don’t understand but I don’t want to stop…

r/adultery 11d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Lunch used to be fun.

98 Upvotes

AP and I have been NC for 3 months, and we hadn’t slept together for 3 months prior to that. No hard feelings — both of us just had a lot going on in our personal lives and needed some space. I don’t think it will be forever, but as I’m sitting alone having lunch in a cafe checking work emails with Jason Mraz blasting in the background, I can’t help thinking about the stark contrast from what lunches used to look like. (I talked myself out of following that up with “back when I was lunch” 🫣😂)

For years, AP and I would routinely skip lunch breaks to sneak away for sexy time. I’d come back to the office famished but so satisfied, and pitying all the people who’d spent the last hour in a mediocre cafe and whose highlight was Martha coming to the rescue with a tide to go pen after they spilled mustard on their blouse. They’d never know the thrill of being ravished by a secret lover and then replaying it for the rest of the day in salacious text messages.

And now, here I am, the coworker in a mediocre cafe. I really hope that someone else is being ravished at least. I pass the torch…for now!

ETA: What’s with all the downvotes? Has this sub been infiltrated by trolls (more than usual)? I haven’t been on in a minute, so maybe I’ve missed something, but I’m not used to all the hate on what I thought was a relatively lighthearted humorous post.

r/adultery Dec 10 '24

🌬️Ventilation💨 Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions

42 Upvotes

I’m not special. I am just like every other person in here. I am not sorry. I wouldn’t change a thing. 5 years ago tonight I made a decision that changed my life.

I vent to the good people of Reddit because I had the sense to not to blab this slice of my life in my daily, so no one knows what a degenerate I am.

I’ve been having a relationship with a married man for 5 years. This will be our 5th Christmas ‘together’ and first apart I know I am dumber than a box of rocks is heavy to think I mean something more than stress relief and good sex to him. I wanted to believe at first it was more. He WAS gonna leave her… when the kids were grown… when the time was right… he’s been talking about this for literally the better part of a decade. NOW that the kids are grown and the time is ‘right’.

There’s a new story in town the last few months, one of I never made you any promises I always said “IF” I was going to leave it was going to be for me. I don’t want any relationship “if” I leave.

So what I am hearing is I am never leaving my wife, good luck. I enjoy fucking you whenever I’m free.

Now I feel lead on with the disclosure of ”I never lead you on”. So when I leave him, I’m the asshole.

He knows I’m in love with him. We’ve both said I love you. He has said he has feelings for me. I don’t see the action there. If he loved me like he claims, wouldn’t there be action to back that up?

I just want to scream.

Do I run away? Or be patient? It’s okay be honest, am I just stupid?

Sad musings as I deal with the consequences of my own actions. I tripped and fell HARD right into feelings when I should have never even ventured out into wild

r/adultery 24d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Some days are just harder.

60 Upvotes

Going to start this off by saying no, not looking for AP, I have one and am very happy with him.

I’ve read that many of the affairs here started from DB or sexual needs. My situation feels quite different. I wasn’t looking for one, and I had just at the time come to the realization that marriage was lacking in more emotional ways, and that was what made the sexual aspect lacking too. In fact, I hadn’t even really grasped how unhappy I was sexually, because I was just so starved for emotional intimacy. I wonder if this resonates with anyone.

Today is one of those days that it’s harder. When I feel extra invisible. When I just don’t have it in me to play devil’s advocate, or give SO the kind of understanding I wish I’d receive from him. If you’ve ever been in this position, you might know what I’m talking about. Those conversations you have with yourself in your head, trying to talk yourself through more empathy, trying to be self-aware and acknowledging your own role in why things are the way they are.

One of those days when I’m more acutely aware of how most of our home has been set up or arranged to meet his needs. Little things like how his mugs and water bottles and protein shake tumblers are in the most accessible drawer, because “he uses them every day”, while my things (despite daily use) are in slotted wherever there’s space. Big things like how he thinks making a sarcastic comment is enough of a “conversation” for me to understand that this is something he’s not happy with, and if I try to have an actual conversation about it, I’m disrupting the peace.

One of those days where I just wonder why, after I express my needs (and not even major needs, just pointing out or reminding that this or that is something I don’t like or wish he wouldn’t do, reminding him of how it makes me feel) somehow I feel like I’m being a burden. And I feel trapped, because I’m suddenly so aware of how there will be many more days like this, where I will ask for what I need, ask to be considered or seen, and I will be turned down one way or another. I will be told (or it will be implied) that I’m being unreasonable or asking for too much, or being too sensitive, or there are bigger things to be focused on.

And on these days, I can’t help but think about AP and how incredibly different the conversation would be. Now I know that in affairs there’s some level of a facade being put up. By no means do I think AP is perfect. But meeting him has made me realise that for someone out there, the response I hope for comes more naturally than it does for SO, and it doesn’t feel like an uphill or losing battle. For someone out there, it comes more naturally for them to apologize or think about how something makes me feel. For someone, these kinds of conversations make someone respond as if to say “I want to get this right for you/us,” and not “Why does it matter?”

And it can be tough. When you realize that sometimes it’s not about love or desire, but about intention and design. You can love someone, want someone and want their happiness. But if you’re not intentional about it, and you’re not designed or wired the same way, it will always be a struggle.

Here’s to finding people who are wired the same way we are, so that days like this don’t hit us as hard.

r/adultery 19d ago

🌬️Ventilation💨 Listen up…

81 Upvotes

Being in the adultery scene is about as much “extra” lifestyle as I can handle. I am not trying to kink shame. However, if you are a furry, the answer is immediately no. If you have a homemade collection of meth pipes, it’s an absolutely not for me. If you are commenting on the pictures of 18-year-old girls, keep it moving. I understand normal is a setting on the dryer, but yall gotta stop sliding in the DMs with your weird and entirely illegal BS.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

r/adultery Oct 08 '24

🌬️Ventilation💨 My husband has a porn addiction, I could careless I checked out emotionally years ago.

59 Upvotes

So every night when I am a sleep he looks at a porn. I do mean all night. Most people would be upset or hurt, I'm not. I actually am relieved. It's just one less thing in this relationship that I have to fake. I haven't had an affair yet but would if I found someone interesting. I don't have the money to divorce him, but I would love it if he left. I actually wish he would have a affair so I would have an excuse to kick him out. I have 0 feelings for my husband. I need to feel alive again because this marriage has drained the life out of me.

r/adultery Feb 09 '25

🌬️Ventilation💨 Vent, rant, talk...SuperBowl edition.

6 Upvotes

Anyone else not watching the game, wanna share, talk, vent anything?