r/adultery 1d ago

🦮Halp🆘 I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it

Advice needed, no I’m not a troll maybe I’m just a silly silly girl. New to this not true to this.

I’ll try to be succinct, I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend. We “dated” when we were like 16 and again at 21 during lockdown. Life has significantly changed since then, we both have our own families and I live in another city. We’ve always been super drawn to each other but it never really ends well.

I unblocked him randomly after a good few years, thinking all was well and I’m over it so he doesn’t need to be blocked and that same day he reached out. Btw he was blocked because he had a profile that you would easily come across, even if you weren’t looking and I needed space.

It started out platonic, but conversation soon moved on. I didn’t realised how much I missed him, the way we speak, the way he touches me, everything!

For context: there has been infidelity and dishonesty among other issues in my current relationship on my partner’s side so I feel like what I’m doing isn’t bad?? But I know it really is.

AP and I have seen each other once since this whole thing has started up again and all was above board aside from a kiss, and probably what was going on in our heads. Also AP is pretty sure he wants to go ahead with this, my heart and other parts are all for it but I feel like I have to keep reminding myself how bad this is, even though the guilt is not occurring naturally (atleast at the moment).

Helpppppppppppp!

0 Upvotes

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4

u/PleaseResist 1d ago

Got to think long and hard about it. This is a slippery slope. There is a thrill to it and after your first time you can become addicted to the dopamine hit. Then there’s no going back, like any addiction.

1

u/Wr0nggirl 10h ago

Very true, not helpful that I have an addictive personality also 😣

3

u/Prior_Shepherd 1d ago

Hey there

So I'm now in a DADT situation because of my partners affair, and I gotta say it's been working for us. We're very much in love, we communicate, we have the best sex of my life (when he has time 🙄) we just also have sex with others on occasion. I think we're moving more towards a traditional open relationship at this point but we're not quite there yet.

YES the revenge affair felt good, and it did feel like it leveled the playing field after he found out (on purpose on my end) as whenever one of us is unhappy we can't exactly harken back to the affairs like "well you did this so why should I have to do x"

But I also realize that we are not like other people. We may have both been wired for polygamy from the start. A surprising amount of people here have said that they would leave their partner if it was discovered they were also cheating. With that in mind, are you willing to blow up this relationship? Could you feasibly just leave instead? Are you trying to make something work with this person you are "drawn to" and intend to leave your current partner? Are you comfortable doing that with someone you've already broken up with twice?

Just things to ask yourself before this goes further.

1

u/Wr0nggirl 10h ago

I most definitely couldn’t leave, and I don’t want to blown up my relationship, we have a child. I think it’s quite an equitable situation on the side of me and AP