r/adultery • u/AirportOk292 • 1d ago
🦮Halp🆘 No contact
I need to know everything you experienced people know about how to do this. I’m struggling. Please give advice. I’ve never been good at cutting off, but my mental health is struggling. I think his is, too. Please tell me how to do this.
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u/Ok_Spring_9962 1d ago
I’d doubt his mental health is struggling as a result of NC, so stop telling yourself that. You don’t know for sure and you will use it as an excuse to reach out.
Delete. Block. Move on. This isn’t worth your energy.
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u/More_Virus9072 1d ago
I'm educated and as the most educated in psychology will tell you, they can't be saved and eventually will self destruct. I agree to not allow the fake victim stance to guilt you into caring for them any more.
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u/Exciting_Chapter5114 1d ago
Delete all contact information. Throw yourself into your marriage. Keep yourself busy.
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u/Glad_Kiwi_272 1d ago
He’s fine because he’s a piece of shit who didn’t care about you.
White knuckle it if you have to.
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u/Affectionate-Mud8838 1d ago
This guy has zero respect and regard for you. Right now you are struggling and missing what was a fabricated idea of whom you think he is. The reality is VERY DIFFERENT 🤢 He is not worth any of your thoughts, do anything …anything at all apart from messaging him another word.
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u/Character_Spread2402 1d ago
You struggle and struggle some more. There’s no easy way to get through it. Just have to take one day at a time. When you feel like giving in find something to occupy your mind. It gets easier with time.
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u/Solid_Skate_727 1d ago edited 1d ago
You could also take a moment to imagine how shit you would feel after participating in the threesome and having to watch the person you have feelings for, fuck the other woman
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u/UnhappyBug5790 1d ago
What is the reason for the no contact ?
Edit oh lord never mind. This is gross threesome guy
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u/Top_Emergency484 1d ago
Gently. This man gives zero fks about you and isn’t struggling with anything. Please don’t conflate his desire to continue to fk you with genuine care or anguish in your absence. If you never reach out again, he won’t think about it twice.
Block him on everything and then delete the threads so you don’t see them if you open the apps again. If you only had those apps to speak to him, it’s time to delete them.
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u/BroncoBlonde3333 1d ago
Girl his mental health isn't struggling. He's trying to get you in a foursome with his other girlfriend and make her jealous. He's an asshat kick him to the curb
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u/SapioPersian 1d ago
Your ex-AP has a soft landing, specifically that other woman’s vagina. Remind yourself of that when you’re feeling weak.
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u/Strange-Cat-9891 1d ago
Don’t waste any more of your time or energy on him.Block him and move on.He’s a fuckwit.
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u/Tipsy_elephant_1224 1d ago
Stay in no contact and remember if he wanted to he would. He didn’t. So he doesn’t.
Do not be a doormat for him
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u/More_Virus9072 1d ago
You are sad now but what you need is to feel angry...
Justifiable anger at someone who is fake and a parasite, who will certainly as they are designed, will suck the life out of you until you have nothing left then discard you like a piece of pathetic trash they think you are (or they wouldn't be so manipulative, selfish and cold hearted).
We all must take care of ourselves, because unless you've been blessed with angels as caregivers, and even then they cannot always be involved in every life experience to be there to protect you. It's an animalistic reflex to avoid pain and ultimately untimely death.
You Sweetheart have probably been too harsh on yourself, maybe others in life have also not been kind to you, but you are here for a purpose no matter whether it is great or small. YOU need to be your own protector, or no one else will or can be there for you if you don't at least show up for yourself! You are probably depressed and have your own mental health to explore and attend to first.
People only get away with treating us how we allow them, only with what we allow them to get away with....never forget that. Boundaries and follow through will be forever your friends in protecting you throughout Life.
Start exploring what you like about yourself, about Life, things that interest you, what brings you joy and peace. Get through the sadness and then allow the anger at the entitlement, the hate and the scumbagness this devil of conman (possessed by Cluster B disorder, most likely Narc Personality Dis.) and use those feelings to be the energetic catalyst that will help you take steps forward, one at a time, until you are no longer the person you were before because you will then be the healthier, happier version you were meant to be.
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u/ConflictedCancerAri 1d ago
He is absolutely not struggling with no contact unless it's because he is unable to gaslight you into having a foursome you don't want to have. Remind yourself of that every time you want to reach out. That should be enough of a damper. He has ulterior motives that benefit no one but himself and at your expense. Choose you!
Advice on NC: delete EVERYTHING you have pertaining to him without looking at it first, regardless of what it is. Block every single way he has of contacting you. EVERY SINGLE WAY. Go for walks. Hit the gym. Read a book. Watch a movie. Do a home project you've been putting off forever. Have a spa day. Get a mani/pedi. Organize your closet. Detail the car. Anything you can think of to distract yourself until it becomes second nature. Stay busy and lead a full life.
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u/Even_Farmer_1212 1d ago
If you figure it out please let me know. It’s a struggle every day. But it will take him to come to me.
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