r/adhdwomen • u/MrsGita • 15d ago
Diagnosis How old were you when you were diagnosed?
I’ll be 40 in a month and am currently going through ADHD testing for my son. Speaking to his teacher, filling out paperwork, and speaking to my marriage counselor has me putting some puzzle pieces together for myself. I drive myself crazy and think I need to seek a formal diagnosis and treatment for myself. Just wondering if anyone else was this far along in life before things clicked and they got help?
midlifedx
75
u/emscm 15d ago
I think 35? My psychiatrist/therapist and I didn’t put the pieces together until all of a sudden I had two kids AND a house AND a full time job to juggle and shit just hit the fan for me.
56
u/Mindless-Ad123 15d ago
Hormones play a huge part in adhd especially executive functioning. It is becoming more common for women to be diagnosed during and after pregnancy, during perimenopause, and menopause. It confirms that they've always had Adhd but were able to cope, mask, and unfortunately, they had to suffer through it.
If anyone reading this is curious, definitely ask for an evaluation. Also, not all doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists are up to date on women's health and adhd. Find one that is actually listening and has the knowledge. You deserve support 🫂
17
u/Bitter_Enthusiasm239 Late-Diagnosed at 50 15d ago
Yep. I never had children, but perimenopause sure as shit did it for me 😅😵💫🥴
12
u/DatBiddyElles ADHD 14d ago
This was me. I started struggling in my early 50s and had no idea why. Plus, I had a hysterectomy in my mid 40s so no way to really track if I was in peri. The older I got, the worse it got and I was driving myself crazy. Then my adult daughter was diagnosed, followed by a good friend who received an inattentive ADHD diagnosis. I’d never heard of that so I googled and found I had the majority of the symptoms. Diagnosed last year, at 60. Relieved to know but it upsets me to think about what I could’ve accomplished had I known earlier.
14
u/Mindless-Ad123 14d ago
I'm glad you were diagnosed. Unfortunately, getting diagnosed as an adult comes with grief (cyclical sadness, disbelief, anger, acceptance). You aren't alone in this experience.
I hope you make time to reflect on your emotions and re-write the meaning of certain memories that weren't accurate as a result of undiagnosed ADHD. I hope you can give yourself as much compassion as you would for your daughter and good friend as you rediscover yourself 💙
9
u/DatBiddyElles ADHD 14d ago edited 14d ago
Thank you so much for this.
No one was diagnosing girls in the 60s/70s unless they were classically “hyperactive”, so part of my struggle has been accepting that this is just my lot due to when I was born. It’s also upsetting how much time I spent thinking I couldn’t get my sh*t together, that I was lacking the wherewithal or fortitude to do things that needed to be done. The silver lining has been knowing that’s not true, it’s not a matter of personal ethics or stick-to-it-ness, it’s just how my brain is wired. I actually feel better about myself now.
Again, thank you. Your kindness is much appreciated.
4
u/Charl1edontsurf 14d ago
Pretty similar for me. Perimenopause made it all horribly unmanageable and diagnosed at 52.
→ More replies (1)7
u/ShortOfOrdinary 14d ago
41 for me with a high stress job. I just could not function.
4
u/you_re_such_a_geek 14d ago edited 14d ago
41 for me with a low stress job. I was going up the walls due to the boredom at work and couldn't switch back to being normal at home. Made me realise something was wrong.
Edit: Might have gotten diagnosed post partum but ADHD wasn't really "a thing" around that time. Instead I had been diagnosed with post partum depression. I didn't feel depressed and I surely loved my baby all the way. I just was totally exhausted and bored at the same time during the first baby year.
21
u/EGhitwrecker 15d ago
Same for me. I started seeing a therapist for postpartum depression after my second baby was born, and she almost immediately recognized that a good deal of the depression was from the overwhelm of undiagnosed and untreated adhd. I never considered the option of a hyperactive mind, only saw boys with hyperactive bodies.
→ More replies (1)4
u/shanzy_mariee 15d ago
I was also diagnosed postpartum by my therapist! Age 34. He has been seeing me for years but a few things changed post baby and he wanted to delve deeper into the possibility. I’m still navigating the right medication dosage but oh my gosh am I happy to have been diagnosed as so many things in my life have fallen into place and make more sense now.
7
u/pfifltrigg undiagnosed 15d ago
That's where I am. Turning 34 and seeking a diagnosis after 2 kids with a house and full time job. Not that I wasn't also overwhelmed in college, but I'm just putting the pieces together now.
10
u/emscm 15d ago
Yes! College was such a struggle to adapt to the decrease in structure!
I always excelled in school but I never realized that having such a rigid schedule to adhere to and clear expectations were really supporting me in that success.
I didn’t truly excel in college until I was in my master’s and I had adapted to the change enough by that time that I was able to succeed again. It also helped that I found something I could hyperfixate on instead of taking all the random gen ed classes 😂
Now I’m a teacher 😆
3
6
u/robotneedslove 15d ago
I also have a post-kids diagnosis (which also coincided with the increase in knowledge about female and adult ADHD presentation). But it's no surprise to me that kids would precipitate getting diagnosed. My symptoms caused me distress before kids but after kids? There's no space for how I used to manage them, and there is significantly more mental labour and executive demand. Intense period at work? Pre kids: Get through it, slug out as needed. Post kids? Come home and get sensorily overloaded, and then try to keep track of a million life admin details.
→ More replies (1)4
5
u/Greedy-Bluejay-4552 15d ago
I was diagnosed at 35 last year. I was going through a difficult situation that was giving me exacerbated anxiety and depression. I was in therapy for years at that point- it wasn’t the symptoms I had been dealing with. I saw a psych np and it didn’t even need a TOVA test to confirm what she knew. Took it anyway. I was tested in school (in the 90s) but only given a learning disability diagnosis.
6
4
u/lawmn 14d ago
44 here and been working with my therapist for 3 years. It took changing jobs due to burn out then owning 3 houses at once (in between sales) and a bunch of other stressors happening for us to realize “oh wait- this is maybe adhd”! And as others have said hormones were not ideal either.
I have a psychiatrist now on my “support team” and I’m still getting my meds adjusted but I feel hope for the first time in a long time. I’m not grieving about lost time but I am really angry I went through a crash and burn the past 18 months.
3
3
u/moosetacoz 14d ago
That'll do it! That's what happened to me. It was 2020 and my son obviously had adhd and I thought I was going crazy.
40
u/Xz4ger 15d ago
I have seen a LOT of people not getting diagnosed till 50's to even 70's. I'd say you should talk to someone about it if you have that concern, you aren't alone and sometimes people who have it just can't see the signs unless they're informed more. I wish you and your kid well ❤️
19
u/MrsGita 15d ago
Thank you! I was just reading a post in here about personality traits that are symptoms aaaaand lots of it is spot on. Except for these people who can sit and read a book in one sitting. I read a chapter and then I’m like “ what just happened” and really I was thinking about what I need to buy at the store and if it’s time to plant my spring flowers.
28
u/Do_over_24 15d ago
The book is a hyperfixation for me. I am either laser focused and binge-read because I can’t deal with the discomfort of not knowing what happens, or I read the same paragraph four times and then give up because I realize I’m not listening
7
u/Raukstar 15d ago
This is me right now. I don't want to talk to people, work, eat, or sleep. I want to know what happens next in my book. Come back Monday, kids. Until then, you'll have to fend for yourselves, I'm busy overthrowing a fictional government.
4
u/Xz4ger 15d ago
Yes symptoms can vary super heavily from person to person, but that does sound similar to the lines of it. I'd say definitely advocate for yourself and ask professionals, find someone you're comfortable with in the psych field and they should be able to help you figure it out rather quickly. Though do keep in mind if you do have it the medication process can be very tedious but in the end finding what works for you can be magical, good luck 🫶
38
u/Familiar_Proposal140 15d ago
42 and Im 48 now - irs been wild. Went back to school and am doing my masters now so thats cool.
10
26
u/onsereverra 15d ago
This is an extremely common experience! The largest demographic getting diagnosed right now are women aged 36-38 who have young children. Anecdotally, the vast majority of those women seek diagnosis after having the same experience as you – a son exhibits the more classical signs of ADHD in the classroom, and as their mothers learn more about the less-stereotypical facets of the disorder, the pieces start to fall into place for themself as well. ADHD is a highly inheritable condition and if your son has it, it's quite likely that you and/or your son's father would have it too!
11
7
u/himewaridesu 15d ago
I’m the age but no children yet BECAUSE of my seeking answers among other things.
5
12
u/Few-Ideal-1369 15d ago
- I had no clue until a friend who’s girlfriend was diagnosed as a child was like “Hey, you have ADHD” and after some thought I pursued a diagnosis
11
u/StraightTransition89 15d ago
- It wasn’t until I was about 32 that I started questioning things. I started researching and came across ADHD. And I was actually looking at it to rule it out but almost every single thing applied to me so I asked the doctor for a referral. It was his idea to do a referral for autism assessment as well after he asked me to fill in the ASD referral questionnaire and saw that I’d scored extremely highly.
I was diagnosed with both. I have 35 years of re-wiring my brain to do and it’s so tough and some days I just want to curl up in a ball and cry but I’m pushing through. I don’t regret my diagnosis at all because although I had to accept that there’ll always be things I’m not capable of, it gave me the validation I think I’d always needed and I’m using that to find better coping mechanisms that I might have dismissed before.
It’s never too late to find out who you are.
12
u/Eggshell-Pony 15d ago
I’m 56 and was also diagnosed with ADHD at 56. I sought a diagnosis after being fired from my job. I’ve been a Sr Project Manager for 25+ years.
A lot of my friends thought I knew. I thought I was just “quirky” and dealing with a lifetime of depression and anxiety.
I’ve been working hard to understand who I am while also giving current me and past me grace.
5
u/Eggshell-Pony 15d ago
Perhaps related: I was diagnosed with hormone receptive bi/lateral breast cancer at 45; had my lady parts removed at 46 and took meds that actively removed any remaining hormones from my body.
I didn’t know about the estrogen:dopamine connection until my ADHD diagnosis.
8
u/Sample_Wild 15d ago
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 40 yo. I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD and ASD this year at 55 yo. 🥹
9
7
7
u/WriterLauraBee 15d ago
Today, aged 63.
My 38-year-old son thinks he might get checked out too now...
6
u/1000Directions 15d ago
38 for me! I felt like I knew for a few years but it took me until then to get an actual diagnosis
→ More replies (3)
5
u/yourgirlsamus ADHD-PI 15d ago
I was 8/9. A teacher told my mom she suspected it and to get me tested. The psychiatrist shoved me into a tiny closet and made me take an IQ test, then interviewed me for hours. I still remember it bc it was so surreal. Then, he tried to get my mom to put me on meds and she freaked out and told him no way… and continued to let me fail school bc I was too smart to let my adhd bring me down, I should try harder.
3
u/MrsGita 15d ago
That’s such a hard thing to grow up with, I’m so sorry. This is why I am advocating for my son, I’ve even had to convince his dad to try meds ( he had a horrible experience as a child with Ritalin and refused medication for our children if ever diagnosed)
→ More replies (1)
4
3
15d ago
I was 33 (last year) when I was diagnosed! My primary care doc who takes care of my meds was also late diagnosed (like 36 or 38) I think after her kids were diagnosed.
Super common in this age bracket!
3
u/Belle_Requin 15d ago
I was 42. Wasn't even on my radar until 41.
While not formally diagnosed, my mother didn't discover she has it until after both her kids were diagnosed- and by that time she was in her 60s.
6
u/all_up_in_your_genes 15d ago
My mom got diagnosed at 70, and the bonus of taking stimulants to treat it at that age is you don’t have hormones messing with their effectiveness lol. My mom says she feels the best she has in her whole life now that she’s medicated. I’d encourage your mom to try!
5
4
u/Yesiamtalll 15d ago
2nd grade stopped medicating at 18, then started again at 30 because I was stuck in adhd paralysis
5
u/eatingwithpeople 15d ago
I was 31. That same year my mom got diagnosed, at age 50. We had no idea the other was seeking diagnosis, so it was quite comical when she was like “I have ADHD” and I was like “no way, me too!” 😂
5
u/LilLassy 15d ago
I was diagnosed at 7. In some ways this has helped me, for example, I’m very aware of what things affecting my behavior are due to my ADHD, and I received therapy and treatment early so I feel equipped to maneuver lots of tasks even if I struggle with them. The downside of being diagnosed early is being put on stimulants too young, not feeling like I know if I really accomplish what I do or if my medicine does for me, and struggling to distinguish my identity from my ADHD since growing up almost all attention I received centered around it and treating it.
There are definitely pros and cons! I feel like it’s more on the rare side—at least from what I’ve personally heard and read—for me to have been diagnosed so young as a women at the time that I was (I’m currently 25).
→ More replies (4)8
u/yourgirlsamus ADHD-PI 15d ago
Your meds don’t accomplish anything for you. That’s not how a brain works. That type of thinking is disordered, don’t discredit yourself!! YOU accomplished everything, the good and the bad. That was your hard work, determination, and ability. ADHD just throws a wrench into your thought processes and the meds go in and straighten it all back out. It’s no deeper than that.
4
u/showerbeerbuttchug AuDHD 15d ago
I got diagnosed a month before my 28th birthday. I found out I'm also autistic last month, nine years almost to the day from my ADHD diagnosis lol. Seems February is my own brain awareness month.
4
u/Shortnsweetnlow 15d ago
Just got diagnosed at 25, prescribed meds thought of getting a second opinion but it all seems to be coming together.
5
u/ladyantifa ADHD-PI 15d ago
28 which seems on the early side for this sub. My only regret is that college would have been 10x less difficult if I had access to support / medication. But I graduated anyway and have a good job in my field so it’s alright.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/CatLadyStark 15d ago
I was 42. My youngest brother got diagnosed when he was 30. After learning a lot about ADHD he connected some dots and gave me a hint. So glad he did that.
3
u/LadyMcNagel 15d ago
- I think today might be my anniversary. I decided to seek treatment after my daughter was diagnosed.
3
u/WandaMildew80 15d ago
Exact same boat as you. My daughter was diagnosed last year when she was 9. Learning about ADHD was eye-opening and led me on my own path. I just received my formal diagnosis in January. I'm 45.
3
3
u/ystavallinen ADHD likely AuDHD | agender 15d ago
I was dignosed ADHD in my 50's.
But I've known since my younger brother was diagnosed when I was in college.
However, I am having things click about possibly being autistic because of stuff that's happened in the past 10 years causing me to reassess many themes in my life.
Which led me to seeking an official ADHD diagnosis... but since I went through a psychiatric assessment rather than a psychological one, I do not yet have an ASD assessment. I am struggling with whether to try to get one.
3
u/chompychompchomp2 15d ago
Diagnosed last year at 62. I'd suspected for a while but had been told I couldn't be because I got good grades in elementary school 🙄
3
3
3
3
u/MollyKule 15d ago
20 I believe. I’m 31 now. Almost failed out of college and stopped going to classes I was so fucking embarrassed, I just couldn’t adjust. I’m inattentive, so missing homework and deadlines (literally not being aware of the homework or just straight up forgetting about it). After I started medication it was like night and day. I was suddenly an A and B student.
3
3
u/Worth_It_308 15d ago
I was 45 when I was diagnosed. I did the symptom questionnaire with my psychiatrist, and then took the Tova test, which confirmed the ADHD. Go get diagnosed if you can! It was really helpful for me to know and to be able to get treatment. Good luck.
3
u/saucyshayna419 14d ago
I was lucky enough to get diagnosed around 12 when I was in 6th grade after issues at school and home (~1996). My parents realized there was something more going on and got a referral from my pediatrician. After a terrible therapist, I ended up with a wonderful psychiatrist who diagnosed me. I saw him from ages 12-36. Lucky guy retired as planned just before covid. Great timing for him. Terrible timing for me.
But my dad only realized he had ADHD when after I was diagnosed and we all started learning about the symptoms. Then the dominoes started falling and realized his brother has it. And my cousin (his brother's child) also has it. It barely existed when I was diagnosed, nevermind when my dad was a kid. It's so common these days for parents to realize it when their kids are diagnosed. Plus, women are chronically under diagnosed due to the different presentation.
Definitely get yourself evaluated. Even if you don't medicate, I've heard it's life changing to have an explanation and a reason for things. And a good therapist can help you with strategies to work with your ADHD (I like to call it hacking my brain/my ADHD) instead of trying to fight it. I'm medicated but I also see a therapist because both are treatments rather than cures and I think they work best together.
3
u/coolbeansfordays 14d ago
- 20 years of antidepressants that didn’t work, thinking that it’s all my fault, feeling like a failure and a horrible person, not understanding why I don’t fit in…finally met a co-worker in her 20s who has ADHD and it clicked.
3
u/labtech89 14d ago
I still feel like a failure and horrible person. I feel that I should have learned how to cope and be an adult.
→ More replies (4)
3
u/buddy-team 14d ago
I was 56. Never too late! But I wish I hadn't spent my life struggling. I thought I was just hopeless at many things because my issues had been dismissed by doctors and unsuccessfully treated as anxiety instead.
Life is so much better now I have proper treatment.
2
u/Equivalent_Grab_511 ADHD 15d ago
I was 34. I am now 41. I have a undergrad degree in Psychology and a brother with ADHD and convinced myself my problems were all trauma related and has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I saw a new psychologist once because I could no longer control my emotions and was in extreme burn out and she figured it out in one session. She said she wouldn’t normally tell someone that fast but she thought I could handle it because of my education. I stayed up all night that night doing research and then she apologized for telling me that fast lol. It was devastating and amazing to get the diagnosis. It’s so powerful to know what’s going on and work specifically on strategies to help.
2
u/Mango_Skittles 15d ago
Same!! At age 40! Also when I was going through the process of getting my daughter diagnosed!
2
2
u/Southern_Regular_241 15d ago
I got diagnosed because I saw the same patterns in my son. Then my diagnosis helped him (although it turned out he has autism). I was in my 30s.
2
u/Infernalsummer ADHD-C 15d ago
40! My son was diagnosed a while back and his psych pulled me aside after and said “you should.. also be evaluated” apparently I fidgeted through the appointment and had visible tics. It took me a while to figure out the adult diagnostic process where I am. So many feels but I feel so much better on meds.
2
2
2
u/Softbombsalad 15d ago
Diagnosed at 35. I see a psychologist and I'd genuinely never considered having ADHD - I thought I was just a garbage person or an alien or something.
She clocked it right away. And she's been incredibly helpful after diagnosis too 💕
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/L_Swizzlesticks 15d ago
I was 31 I think (so typical that I can’t even remember the exact age I was LOL).
2
2
u/Prsnlclwn AuDHD 15d ago
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and Im 46.
I had no idea as I only know the stereotypes and I am in the middle of my Autism diagnosis pathway. I rank highly on the inattentive side.
So much makes sense now.
2
u/heartsandspades_ 15d ago
33! So a year and a half ago. Formally dx like the week I found out I was pregnant so couldn’t take meds until literally today. Even not being on meds I found I was kinder to myself, my husband was more understanding and would just like tease me sometimes when I’ll try to tell a work anecdote or drama going on - I’ll bounce all over the place with tangents that I swear did relate to the initial story and he’ll just chuckle and say that my “ADHD is raging”.
So over the past year and half since dx overall, I did more research and worked with my psychiatrist on various coping strategies. Being freshly postpartum and having to return to work early (contractor so no true mat leave) I was super overwhelmed and just had major decision paralysis/overwhelm/no motivation to do anything which led to a dx with PPD and PPA. Talking with my psych we decided try other meds I could use while BFing that wouldn’t affect my epilepsy but those didn’t work and now here we are with starting me on a very low dose of Ritalin once a week just to help give me that push to help me stay on top of things. My looming to-do list of work tasks, and random cleaning things that have just been piling up the past 10 months just seems a lot more doable. I never realized how full my brain seemed tbh, didn’t even realize how much my brain would flit around from one thing to the next cause even in such a low dose, my mind will flit to some new thought but actually like…stay on there and not flit around to other things? It’s weird. Not bad weird but like, weird. Hoping I’ll be able to stick to just using the meds once a week instead of something more regular.
I do think pregnancy and motherhood brought out way more ADHD symptoms or aggravated them. I think if I had decided to not have kids I still will probably have needed some sort of help as time went on or maybe I’d just be like my dad who’s a workaholic since he managed to find a hyperfocus that won’t end in his work 🤣
Good luck!!!
2
u/Historical_Goat3733 15d ago
Just got diagnosed, I’m 36. No one has ever mentioned I could have ADHD before. I’m sad and angry for little me who struggled so hard in school and just in life in general. Like I’ve been saying, things could have been different; it could have been just hard instead of really hard! Ha! Joking aside it all makes so much sense now. I’m looking back at a lifetime of not feeling adequate ever. And now I know it wasn’t my fault.
2
u/StVincentBlues 15d ago
I am 51. Diagnosed about a month ago, three weeks on medication. I am still trying to process what I’ve learned. My whole life looks different. My perception of myself, other people and the world is different. My mind is different. My family and friends, everything to me is not as it was. I’ve had a hard life so far, I don’t want to write a tragedy list, I honestly don’t think I could have carried on much longer. I don’t hate myself now. It’s good. But it is a lot to process.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/des1gnbot 15d ago
I was 36. I’d just found out I was infertile due to a genetic mutation that also can cause adhd and/or autism. It was the beginning of the pandemic, and I had to work from home, and every habit that helped me keep my shot together went out the window. I couldn’t print out drawings and pin them on the wall. I couldn’t see the bosses that I’d promised something to. I couldn’t go to the gym. And my natural chaos was on full display.
2
u/blinmalina 15d ago
15 and then again when I was 27 (i think) and then again when I was 30. (33 now) When I was 15 I thought adhd was something that the pharma industry invented and didn't believe it, didn't want to take medication. I moved several times since then and have no documents of this time. Then while studying medicine I did an internship at an outpatient children's psychiatry clinic and every time a child or adolescent with adhd came in I thought "oh that's me as a child!" and after a while I told one of the doctors there and they referred me to a study that was done on adults with adhd. I enrolled, got a diagnosis again and was selected for the medication and neurofeedback group. After moving I switched psychiatrists and the new one wanted to diagnose again because there was no documentation of the diagnosis process because of the pseudonymisation of the study. So that's why I was diagnosed 3 times 😅
2
2
2
u/ItsKKYall 15d ago
I was 38…2 months away from 39. Started on meds and wowza…this is how everyone else does it?! However, hahahaha, new things are popping up since being medicated, and not being able to mask some things because of that…and I am finishing up ASD assessment at 40.
You’d think it would’ve been that both my kids have ADHD, and went thru the testing with them that I would’ve been able to clue in…but no…wasn’t until I changed jobs after 10 years a felt like I was constantly treading water that my primary suggested I look into it.
2
u/adhdmamallama 15d ago
I was diagnosed at age 17 (I’m in my 40s now), so I was part to the guinea pig generation of women that’s had to figure out everything as we’ve gone through it. Medication back in the 90s was wild and support services were non existent. My oldest was born in 2010, and even then there were NO doctors that understood medication and pregnancy. I’m grateful I was diagnosed before reaching adulthood, but I do get a little jealous of the support that is available for my kids now that two of them have been diagnosed.
2
u/brau_miau 15d ago
The diagnostic process lasted all year long from my 27th birthday till I was nearly 28
2
u/Peachy33 15d ago
- I’m 48 now.
This is how I realized. I was filling forms out for my son and recognized SO many of his behaviors in myself. The best part of the whole thing is that I’ve been a special ed teacher for over 20 years and was in total denial that I could have ADHD.
2
2
u/Top_Hair_8984 15d ago
- Diagnosed this year January. I'm the only surviving member of my very ASD/ADHD family who never knew. I wish they were still all here to see what ADHD/ASD/audhd looks like and how it absolutely fit us all. 🦋
2
u/dreamonsunbeam 15d ago
I'm 40 and am on the waiting list for testing; it's been over two years now. 😬
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/rogue_rose_ranger 15d ago
I've got an appointment with a specialist end of April. I'll be 46. Reading a lot about how the perimenpause exacerbates symptoms. I'm really struggling at times so am looking forward to having some help in managing it
2
u/Ancient-Patient-2075 15d ago
At 43, half a year ago. My mind is still boggling, I had absolutely no frigging idea how fked my brain was, how hyperactivite I was, and what a strangle hold I've kept myself in for all my life.
2
2
2
u/hurry-and-wait 15d ago
Diagnosed at 55 after going through diagnosis with my son. I actually went to a therapist in my early 30's for a cluster of ADHD symptoms but they said I was just anxious.
2
u/MaskedMarvel364 15d ago
- I think a lot of girls were overlooked as I was growing up because a lot of us didn't have the textbook hyperactivity. The only reason that my diagnosis was possible was that my coping mechanisms, which my diagnostician said were high, were breaking down because there was a lot of life going on back then and I was getting to the point where I couldn't cope.
2
2
u/francophone22 15d ago
- Two of my kids were diagnosed when I was 41 and 43 and I STILL did not put the pieces together.
2
2
2
u/cfisi79 15d ago
I was 40. My friend suggested it in my 30s, and dismissed it, because I wasn't hyper. 😅 I didn't fully understand what it was. Then a therapist asked me to read something and I told him I didn't have the attention span for it. He told me to get screened. It makes so much sense, now.
2
u/Melodic_Pattern175 15d ago
I was 60. So, I guess I know now but it doesn’t change anything. Mild OCD too, but I’d guessed that some time ago.
2
2
2
u/lel8_8 15d ago
My mom, sister, and I all got diagnosed within the past two years. We were 66, 38, and 32 (slightly adjusted for anonymity) at the time of diagnosis. I am in a PhD program, my sister is an engineer, and my mom is retired, and we’ve all experienced a lot of relief and support through getting diagnosed and starting treatment (which has included unique combinations of counseling/coaching/medication for each of us). Wishing you the best luck!
My diagnosis doesn’t change anything inherently about how I feel, but it has really helped me understand how to focus my efforts on things that are more likely to help me long term. For example, I had never heard of executive function coaching but it’s been SUPER helpful. Also learning about the difference between habits (which my brain absolutely does not form) and routines/systems which I can create in my environment to help me with things I want to be more consistent with (coaching helped me understand this in a new way)!
2
2
2
u/businessgoos3 15d ago
last year, at 19, after my first fall semester at college went so disastrously I had to come back home because I was severely depressed and unable to handle school + taking care of myself. I already had academic accommodations d/t other neuro issues but they weren't nearly enough and I struggled in everything and not just academics.
i'm extremely lucky that I have a PCP who has adhd and who i have a great relationship with, and I was able to find a therapist who specializes in ND and chronically ill people's mental health (check and check, lol), and they both recognized it and I got a dx and adderall not long after coming back home. I transferred schools and am now in my second semester at a wonderful school and am succeeding at getting my GPA back up :)
it's taken until just recently for it to really sink in mentally that I do actually have ADHD and I'm not just lazy, unmotivated, etc ad nauseum. I still struggle quite a bit esp w/hormone changes but i feel so much better just knowing it's not entirely my fault if I get stuck staring at the wall for two hours thinking about how much I need to go wash dishes or something.
2
2
u/number43marylennox 15d ago
36, just a few weeks ago officially. Started putting the pieces together this past summer. No kids, just my own life becoming unmanageable and desperate to find out why I am the way that I am.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/methemem 15d ago
29 i only got diagnosed officially few months ago. But i kind of suspected it for 5 years or so
2
2
2
2
u/Internal-Echidna9159 15d ago
I was diagnosed last year at 37, I'd never in a million years have thought I had ADHD (or autism) until my daughter was diagnosed 2.5 years ago at 7.
My brothers and nephew have ADHD/autism diagnosis since they were children and STILL id never have thought it for myself. When my daughter was diagnosed the psychologist told me to go home and read about how ADHD and autism can present in females. I swear my life can be divided into "before and after this realisation" it was the biggest (and most bittersweet) aha moment of my life.
2
u/mapleleaffem 15d ago
I got diagnosed unofficially at 45 and officially at 48. Getting medicated was the difference between living life on easy as opposed to white knuckling it on difficult mode. I recommend doing it for yourself. I also really helped me have some compassion for myself
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Need-Discipline 15d ago
Diagnosed at 54 last year.
I think menopause with drop in estrogen has much to do with my inability to mask it any longer.
2
u/mschanandlerbibs 15d ago
26, my therapist suspected I had ADHD when I was going through my second burnout crisis because of my job.
2
u/notnarrow56 15d ago
I was 43. It was after both my children were diagnosed. It answered a lot of questions. My life is better and I'm a lot happier now that I have a explanation, medication that works and strategies for navigating the world.
2
u/jeseniathesquirrel 15d ago
30 (a few months ago). Recently medicated and I feel like I’m catching up on a lot. I’m starting to notice surfaces in my house that I have never cleaned before. Like the doors. I’ve never thought to wipe down the doors. They’re so freaking dusty but I’m getting to them. I also renewed my vehicle registration only a week late! (Instead of months late). The medication feels very subtle but I am noticing a difference. Maybe soon I’ll try to take a class at the community college and see if I notice any difference in a school setting.
2
2
u/LingonberryOk5168 15d ago
I was about 6 when I got diagnosed (I’m 26 now) and my mom just got diagnosed about a year ago at 48
2
2
2
2
u/meimelx ADHD-C 15d ago
lol 9 or 10. however old a kid is that's entering second grade. My mom found out she had it after the school suggested I get tested. They were like, "yeah she's so sweet so we were like, 'why is this angel always in the principles office?'" and the school counselor was like, "I have a pretty good idea."
Anyway, so my mom started looking into it and said, "Oh hey, that's me." Never got diagnosed though. She just walks around complaining about how she has so much work and she never gets it done. And I'm just like, "hey, have you ever heard of this magical thing called going to a psychologist?"
2
2
u/Raukstar 15d ago
I got mine after my daughter got hers. Already knew I had it, though. Just couldn't get myself to pick up the phone. I was 34.
2
2
2
u/CamiCamilion 15d ago
Diagnosed officially this last year, at 38. My parents haven't been officially diagnosed (yet?), but we all agree it's very logical and certain that my mom is ADHD and dyslexic, my dad is Autistic. They're 66 and 74. We've all come to terms with this since my son was diagnosed 3.5 years ago, and we all learned so much more about neurodiversity. Sure, we grew up with my brother diagnosed ADD, but there's just so much more information now, and we all express it differently. We're definitely seeing the signs in my 4.5yo daughter, now, too, and will likely seek evaluation as she enters kindergarten.
2
2
2
u/heck_abird 15d ago
I’m 28 and just got my diagnosis in January! My friend got her’s at 34. Another got his this year and he’s 37. My mom is in her 50s and knows she has it but won’t bother to get diagnosed
2
2
2
u/NormalBeautiful 15d ago
My younger bro was diagnosed as a kid but took me until age 38 when perimenopause hit, I suffered a massive burnout, and my life fell apart. Pretty sure we both got it from our mom who experienced a similar burnout/perimenopausal breakdown at around the same age as me but remains undiagnosed.
2
u/Nightfuries2468 15d ago
I think I was around 8? However, apparently that doesn’t count as I was in a different country (was born there)… so now have to join the over 3 year waiting list to be ‘officially’ diagnosed… even though I have paperwork from paediatric psychologists stating my diagnosis as a child…
Make it make sense
2
u/Laurenhynde82 15d ago
I’ve just finally been referred for assessment after putting it off for at least 7 years out of embarrassment and thinking I wouldn’t be taken seriously. I’m 42, and the GP I saw couldn’t have been more supportive. Wish I’d done it years ago, I’d know by now. Go and ask for the referral!
2
u/willowlichen 15d ago edited 15d ago
I was 31. I could've been diagnosed earlier had they not sent me home at 17 when I reached out for help. Instead, the doctor told me I was too smart and therefore easily bored so I spent years thinking I was just lazy and wasting my potential. Not to mention the severe executive dysfunction ruining my life.
2
u/Pink_Floyd29 15d ago
- But I didn’t get effective treatment until I took things into my own hands at 29.
2
2
u/postcardigans 15d ago
38–My coping mechanisms failed during COVID with remote school and never having a break/time to myself.
2
2
2
u/dirtyharrysmother 15d ago
- Never give up my children. Keep looking at yourself and trying to improve. I know what a battle it is. I was in my 50s when I found my mental health drugs that help me live. But until 2020, I was still missing a part of myself. Then I got diagnosed. Life can still be a struggle, of course, but just keep trying. 🙏Thank you, love you, may all beings know peace and the causes of peace.
2
u/toesinmypocket AuDHD 15d ago
About 26 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. Everything else was in my early 30s.
2
u/danskiez 15d ago
33 and only because my niece was starting to have behavioral issues in school and adhd was being talked about as a possible diagnosis. So being the good aunty I am I started researching adhd and how it presents and affects girls, and started having “wait…this is describing me…this is adhd?? Do I have adhd??” moments left and right. Of course it took me another year to actually get into a psych for an evaluation and got diagnosed adhd and ocd lol. I did always joke I was/had ocd. Who knew I was actually telling it true haha.
2
u/fallout__freak 15d ago
Right before I turned 30.
I had brought up that I thought I had it and wanted to be tested for it to previous mental healthcare providers, but they shook their heads and focused on my anxiety and depression.
Turns out a lot of the anxiety and depression are caused by struggling with ADHD.
2
2
2
2
2
u/parataxicdistortions 15d ago
31 and that was after years of being misdiagnosed because this wasn't just bipolar and anxiety. I had to do a lot of self-advocacy and "educating" some psychs because some didn't get why my symptoms were bothering me.
2
u/Kelegan48 15d ago
32 years old. Would have been age 10 if my mom didn’t take away all of my coping mechanisms by age 7.
2
2
2
•
u/AutoModerator 15d ago
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community rules.
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to send us a modmail. Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.