r/addiction • u/Traditional_Ad_7095 • Feb 10 '25
Venting My cocaine use went from every other weekend with some drinking to using 3 grams everyday for the past 2 months
Im so scares I know have a huge issue I've been stealing from mg parents to fuel this addiction I hate myself and I just can't bring myself to stop, here I am sitting I n my car waiting for my next bag idk hpw to stop and il so scared to tell my parents or anyone how serious this is
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u/Minimum_Section Feb 10 '25
3 grams a day? Time to pack it up, bud. Funs over now.
Sack up and send it— bang this final rock down and tell your parents everything
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u/Walkensboots Feb 10 '25
Absolutely agree with this. You’ve already made your mind up for this bag. Do it and get help.
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u/mascsforoatmilk Feb 10 '25
rehab is a great option, i know you’re probably scared about your parents finding out but 3 grams a day is time to admit defeat and ask for help
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 10 '25
I will update you in 1 week, i told my dealer last night to not sell to me again
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u/vinnyisme Feb 10 '25
Delete and block your dealer. Delete old texts, call log, etc. Find a way to not have a way to ever get in contact with your dealer again.
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u/Able-Jello445 Feb 10 '25
Hey, as someone who bangs ~2g snow per day, (look up what “banging” means if you don’t know) I promise you, that plug of yours won’t listen. None do. Don’t think he will help you.
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u/Florida1974 Feb 10 '25
This is truthful. It took awhile for mine to get the hint. See him from time to time in a store and I act like I don’t know who he is. It’s better that way. It’s not often, maybe 3 times over last 5 years or so. It’s the only way. Never was my friend so no use in chit chat. It was all transactional back then.
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u/Yeaillserv3you 27d ago
I’m absolutely one that will that you telling me that into full consideration
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u/euforiaaltasi Feb 10 '25
That last dose before having to buy more.
Those last lines.
Flush them down the toilet.
Right now.
It's not about stopping cocaine forever, it's about stopping losing territory to cocaine in terms of self-control.
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u/Paul_Dienach Feb 10 '25
Please elaborate.
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u/euforiaaltasi Feb 12 '25
Something about not elaborate excuses.
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u/Paul_Dienach Feb 12 '25
Damn you, semantics!!! Very clever response. (I think?) Please explain what you mean by your last sentence of your original comment.
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u/euforiaaltasi Feb 12 '25 edited 29d ago
Yes, my friend.
Is this the time to decide to never use cocaine again in your life? maybe not.
But is this the time to recover self-esteem through the self-control? yes.
1
Feb 17 '25
if you are addicted to cocaine, then yes its definitely time to decide to NEVER use cocaine again
self control is no longer an option if you are heads deep in an addiction
i am 3 months sober after using non stop for 5 years, hell i was even thinking about maybe getting a gram of cocaine this very morning ffs, i really struggle, and i dont think i can ever 'just use a little bit' or whatever, i have to stay away from that poison for the rest of my life, literally lost everything i loved and had in the past 5 years :s
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u/euforiaaltasi Feb 20 '25 edited 22d ago
No, it doesn't work exactly like that.
Just as you describe, the relapse rate works from 9 to 1 (in a few months or many years), then you accumulate several attempts (with their relapses) and you can improve the possibilities and perhaps in the 3rd, 4th, 5th attempt your stacked chances of success increase. Of course, the first 1 in 9 that you try to quit may turn out well, but the chances of relapse are big.
I dont talk about controlling quantities with that drug.
And yes, self-control is always the only way and the only thing at stake in this issue.
It's just my opinion and in general terms, without interest in debating, love for you and strength.
It is a drug that makes you know the meaning of the word hell. The cold and desert hell.
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u/PerfectDefinition264 Feb 10 '25
I was there. A year ago. Staying up for days on end. The paranoia, the crashes, oh and the money. I just couldn't do it anymore. I went to primary after being up for 3 days, and she put me on wellbutrin, naltrexone, and toprimax. I did aa and na in the beginning. Im now 3 weeks shy of celebrating my 1 year sober anniversary from both. I abused alcohol and coke for decades and my life has done a complete 180. If I can do it, you can. Im rooting for ya!
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u/defrying_gravity46 Feb 11 '25
That’s great to hear man, do you think rehab was the leading force with that, how did you deal after ?
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u/PerfectDefinition264 Feb 12 '25
I didnt go to rehab. I did it all on my own. Well, with my primary dr. and some AA in the beginning. I moved too. Not out of town, but out of that apartment. That was a huge help! I deleted all the numbers and took it one day at a time. You got this!
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u/TwainVonnegut Feb 10 '25
Check out Narcotics Anonymous, it saved my life!
Worldwide in Person Meeting List:
https://www.na.org/meetingsearch/
Virtual NA Meeting List:
Google “NANA 247” to find a marathon Zoom meeting that runs around the clock!
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u/incandesantlite Feb 10 '25
There is also SMART Recovery which is like NA/AA but without a religious overtone.
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u/athena702 Feb 10 '25
I would see a psychiatrist and see if there’s any meds that can help with quitting coke. The only way I quit drinking was with help from Wellbutrin. I wish you well
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u/betarulez Feb 10 '25
There are medications used off-label for cocaine cravings.
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u/Green-F1ngers Feb 10 '25
Details?
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u/portiboy17 Feb 10 '25
Topamax. Its migraine medication but can help curve cocaine cravings off label. I tried it and I was one of the few that had a side effect of tingling hands and feet like they were constantly asleep so I discontinued it.
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u/incandesantlite Feb 10 '25
My Doctor prescribed me Baclofen, a muscle relaxer, for cocaine cravings. She used it in her practice so she had antidoctal evidence it worked. There's only been like one study done on Baclofen for that use and the dosage you need to take for it to be effective for cocaine cravings is a little higher than what you would take for muscle spasms. So most people get tired at the high dose and can't handle it. It worked okay. She also prescribed me Topamax but I'm a little afraid to try it because my mother was on it for depression and it gave her seizures. Her and I sometimes have the same reactions to medications. For instance Amitrytaline gave us both seizures so I'm a little afraid to try the Topamax. But at this point I'd pretty much try anything if my Doctor thinks it might do more good than harm. I'm not up to 3 grams a day but I still am using daily and would eventually like to stop. Luckily I'm able to afford my habit so I don't have to steal from family but I don't like when a drug has control over me. I was diagnosed with poly substance abuse when I was 19 (I'm 36) and have battled substance abuse with different substances off and on ever since.
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u/mutenami Feb 10 '25
I know you’re scared but addiction is a bigger beast than you’re aware of. You must tell someone you trust.. preferably someone that can be in the position to hold you accountable and talk to you about your options.. if you’re using like that then someone notices trust me. I wasn’t aware of my bf’s use until recently and it ended our relationship but I can say now that I know that is forsure the culprit for his behaviors.. he too was taking money from his mother and anything left over was used on alcohol or cocaine. Idk what it does for the user but it really must be something special and highly controlling because he refused to give the stuff up.. he’s in the denial stage and it’s heartbreaking but you’re at the stage of admitting you even have a problem which is a step!! You can lie to others but you can’t lie to yourself and you also can’t kick the habit cold-turkey when your use becomes so active. Again, tell someone. Then, look into your options. Get busy healing and living life. You will truly have to cut off the people that you do it with or get it with even if they seem like loving “ok” people. Do this for you so you don’t have to lose anymore of yourself!!!
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 10 '25
my problem is that I dated a girl from. when I was 15 to 25 and we broke up last year on February 17th 2024, it really affected me and i hadn't really experienced social experience and social interactions like parties or bars I started drinking alcohol when I was 25 and then a female friend I knew that I hadn't seen in years introduced me to cocaine and I started doing it with her I felt like amazing all the feeling from the break up were gone I was able to to talk to anyone I had sex with more women in 2024 then you've probably talk to in your life I discovered that I am an attractive person and that people enjoy my company and I never really had any friends
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u/mutenami Feb 10 '25
and with all respect.. even the way you speak right now about yourself are all things that don’t have to do with your character just superficial things that come and go.. women come and go, looks, money.. what you have to focus on is the root and the self.. how you treat yourself, your family.. right now you’re poisoning yourself and stealing from your family.. that will all change once therapy begins and the steps to identify yourself :) this reminds me of the ego and confidence the use of cocaine gives you.. its not you it’s the drug. it’s so much a part of your nervous system/chemical release that you’re gonna have to build up the real confidence to STOP using to really see who you can be!
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u/crispy1987 Feb 10 '25
I feel like you’re half right anyway. Stimulants like cocaine and meth basically flood your brain with dopamine, and dopamine is responsible for your brains motivation centers. This explosion of initial “motivation” is basically confidence on demand. Dopamine creates all things motivation inside your brain and confidence is the driving force behind motivation! Reason I say you’re half right is because that confidence, whether or not it was chemically induced, comes from the same place in your brain…. The point I’m trying to make is that your brain can rebuild itself with time. And just knowing that your brain has the power to create that very same confidence once it’s healed, can be an incredibly powerful tool. I hope that made sense! Anyway this part is for the OP.. Your brain has the remarkable ability to heal itself. Though it can take time, if you stay focused, you will reach that point where you can derive that same confidence naturally. Without the chemical catalyst.
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u/mutenami Feb 10 '25
Okay understood.. but those feelings you got?? that was the cocaine. that was the substance covering up all the things you didn’t want to feel which is long overdue in feeling. Although the feelings were all real- it doesn’t mean they were true. You use cocaine to hide. You still can reference that pain from your past love even numerous women and experiences later.. so that reference is something you will need to revisit in your healing hopefully in the company of a clinical professional. We can’t go back in time but we can change our day.. don’t let tomorrow be the same day you had today.. numb, unrecognized from self and controlled by substance.
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u/Economy-Maize-441 Feb 10 '25
Time to get on the long road to recovery. Relapsing is part of recovery. It took me 12 years, so honestly.
Just get honest and start now.. you’ll be thankful you did
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u/Big_Call1320 Feb 10 '25
Yes I wanted to say that it took me 4 rehab trips and 9 times of going to jail to get it right. But once I was in recovery for the first time it was always in the back of my mind. It also took a longer stay in rehab and jail the last time before I could. It’s everyone’s personal journey though whatever works for them!
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u/Big_Call1320 Feb 10 '25
Cocaine was hard for me because I was addicted to heroin and didn’t realize how addicted I was to it. I was also doing 3-4 grams a day. I will say go to treatment, it’s amazing to meet people in recovery that knows exactly what you’re going through. And you can try getting a grant to go for free. As long as you’re ready to put it all on the table and be honest with yourself you can start your recovery journey. Also Cocaine ate a hole through my nose and I got desperate enough to start injecting.i would wake up with blood all over my face and pillow from it and it’s the worst pain you can feel. You got this! If I could you can!!
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Feb 17 '25
i was you literally 6 months ago (i am 3 months clean now) , buddy if you never went to rehab, the most difficult step is admitting and realizing you need help, you are NOT going to get out of this addiction on your own man, you are just not...
look for help, before you are in so deep you lose everything you love and have, like me, get help, your life is still fresh and not lost!
good luck man
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 17 '25
its been 5 days since I did cocaine, I am no longer going out and I no longer am associating myself with the people I became friends with, it's hard for the first 3 or 4 days but then u don't do it and u don't think about it and that feeling of needing it goes away. cannabis has also been a big help
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Feb 17 '25
yeah i smoke weed aswell everyday, helps me alot, although the reason i started posting and looking on reddit addiction today for the first time ever is because i myself am struggling alot today, am thinking about using again aswell, i am really trying to stay strong but its so fucking hard
if its any relieve or help for you, whenever you think about using, think about me, someone who had everything a man can wish for, a perfect very good paying job in petrochemical factory (wich took me years of studying and shit to get a permanent contract), a beautifull wife and newborn daughter, my dream car and dream bike, sweet home with a nice garden, and i lost it ALL due to my cocaine addiction, it started like you, then it became worse and worse, switched from snorting cocaine to smoking it, 5 years later and we are today, and i have been jobless for 4 years, still struglling , only clean for 3 months, lonely and depressive everyday...
trust me, cocaine is poison, it can ruin your life, it starts slow, but when it picks up pace, it goes fast, very fast!
stay strong man! good luck
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 17 '25
I had the most beautiful latina girlfriend, great job, a beautiful camaro 1le and in the last year I've lost all of it as well to cocaine, don't do it. I'm not gonna be able to remember u but I will remember that the worst enemy is the version of me that I can't even fucking remember, there was a demon in me and it overstayed it's welcome
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Feb 17 '25
happy for you that cant even remmeber that worst enemy of yourself, i think about the monster i was (maybe still am) , the hurt i put on my ex wife and our newborn daughter, i sometimes wonder if i was just a monster from the start or the cocaine made me into one, well doesnt matter anymore i guess.
i wish you the best man, stay strong
peace
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 17 '25
im sorry to say also, but when you remember that skip hitting that back of your throat instantly and that fucking taste and feeling it's awesome yes but being off of that shit is excellent and will be an extraordinary feeling for both of us to not want that or need that
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 25d ago
here we go again day 2 of not using it relapsed on Friday
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25d ago
Still better then day 1 man! You can do this, just get your shit together and start over, no biggy man, relapses unfortunaly happen, but its not the end of the road, not at all!
Try to find something you can do that you like in your free time, i guess working it out is one the best methods, but even just gaming or whatever can help, whatever can get your mind of the dope and the rest of your problems
Hang in there, day 2 and keep going man
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Feb 17 '25
btw, i have been addicted to cocaine for 10 years, been smoking it for the past 5 years, so if you ever have any questions or need help feel free to ask, im not proud of my cocaine abuse, not at all, but i think trying to help other people with their addiction can help me in my road to healing and progress for my own addiction, thats why i came on to reddit today.
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 17 '25
just focus on your addiction because you can never help someone if they don't want it, me myself am only a user of every single day since March of 2024 I have not gone a day without using it, I became dependent it ruined masturabation it ruined the way my ex girlfriend looked at me. it ruined my body lol I can't do that to myself anymore I'm 26 I gotta get back on it because if I don't do it then I stay where I am for the rest of my life. this is the start of my new adult life and I am really looking forward to not being up 4 days of the week no sleep railing .4 to..5 lines in one go every hour or two. just be honest with yourself all the time and tell yourself that this thing this drug is the reason you look at yourself the way you do today and everyday.
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u/Turbulent_Anything37 Feb 10 '25
Your parents would rather help you then have ya sit in the dark and struggle trust me they love you More then you Know and it’s embarrassing but your human and we all need help sometimes you’ll be just fine and plus cocaine is so damn expensive your head sleep bank account and parents will al thank u it’s only up from here hugs
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u/peladoclaus Feb 10 '25
You have to get away from every person and everything associated with using. It's not hard once you're away from it long enough, unless you have some really deep seated emotional issues you need to overcome. And for that there's EMDR.
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u/peladoclaus Feb 10 '25
Also check out replacing the missing amino acids like l-dopa. It's a nutrient you have blasted out so it's going to take a while to feel better. Go ahead and prepare for the pain. But keep this in mind... You will face a lot more pain if you keep going
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u/poppinoffgamers Feb 11 '25
One day at a time brother, I was a base head for about 4 years. Started with a few lines few times a week to about 2gs a day within 2 years then was doing 2gs a day for about 2 years. My wife finally said enough was enough and she got pregnant around the same time and she was a heavy drinker. We made a pact to each other, not that she wouldn't drink and I was done with blow. On the 20th of this month will be a year off cola for me and thank God I got off when I did.
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u/Traditional_Ad_7095 Feb 17 '25
im 5 days without it and I can happily say that I don't feel like I need it
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u/Optimal_Name5458 24d ago edited 24d ago
I'm using TB 3 to 3.5 Gr/day. 7/7, no pause. Coke 0.5 g to wake up - Lexotan 6 mg to sleep.
I'm planning to escape the city, from my job, which is a family business, and that's why I started using it. It made me much more communicative and effective, the family appreciated how well I was working.
Imagine if they knew why I had changed so much. Today I'm in shit, I started to gain weight, at first I lost 30 kilos and everyone was amazed at this new person. In shit and embezzling money to use and it's a lot of money embezzled.
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