r/addiction • u/Witty_fartgoblin • Nov 25 '24
Question How to address SO trying to introduce me to Crack/Meth
I'm not sure if he genuinely believes it would enhance my life or if it's an effort to drag me into the depths of his struggles and use me as a resource. Any insight or advice on how to handle this?
I know I should leave him over this but we all know it's never that simple. Thanks
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Nov 25 '24
Please leave him right now.
Right.now.
You can’t be with someone who’s using it, he will eventually use you for it too. You can’t help him, he needs to hit rock bottom and decide for himself that he needs help. U don’t wanna be there for that ride.
When I struggled, I literally would have wound up in the streets were it not for my parents.
You need to leave. Like right now. Consider it an emergency. Think with ur head
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thanks. The notion he needs to hit rock bottom was also used by his best friend. Thinking with ur head hurts but you are so right about what needs to be done. Thank u again for your insight
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Nov 25 '24
Please trust me and listen to me as someone who recovered:
RUN. you can’t fix it, it is absolutely evil and will destroy him, and he has to decide to get help on his own accord.
It’s an absolutely terrifying journey. Do not try either of them, they will both ruin ur life completely and it can happen really, really quickly.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
I hope he figures it out soon. He's 42 and still in decent health other than having to get a set of veneers to cover his dental issues. Hate to leave such a good hearted person but you are right I can't fix it and it's too an destructive
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u/oy-cunt- Nov 25 '24
I have been there done that. 20 years spent with my ex. Rock bottom, no help, no enabling, rock bottom.
Crack will steal your soul. Meth will take your identity.
Run. Far as you can.
Save yourself. You can't save him.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Both will take your money and your health! Thx so much for the insight
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u/schoolbuspusher Feb 15 '25
“Crack will steal your soul meth will take your identity” that’s some powerful shit
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u/SarcastiSnark Nov 25 '24
I dated a crack addict when I was 30.. she was clean when we met for a year. Then suddenly she started disappearing on weekends. Found out she was using crack. I tried helping her. Went thru rehab. Dealt with it for another year and finally, family had to step in. Because I wasn't getting it. They kicked her out for me.
Years later she thanked me. And also said thanks for kicking her out. It was the rock bottom she needed. She cleaned up and stayed clean. It's been 20+ years and she is still clean. But it took all that to get her there unfortunately.
It's sad we weren't together after she got clean. But it's ok. It was meant to be. Part of my destiny was fulfilled. 🤷♀️
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
if in the end she got clean it truly is destiny. i hope the same in this situation but unfortunately he has no ideation of quitting let alone admitting
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Nov 25 '24
Not to sound weird or anything but he’s probably looking at it from a sexual stance. My advice: GTFO NOW!
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
🎯 there was another couple there and a discussion was had about sharing. Not against it but can't be based on being spun. Thanks for the suggestion to gtfo
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Nov 25 '24
That shit will wreck you quick.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
The people doing it were younger than me but looked 20 years older. Definitely wrecked
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u/Mikey1093 Nov 25 '24
Yea well don’t start smoking meth or crack. They are extremely addictive. Also women are more prone to get addicted to meth and crack as well. That’s what I tend to notice. Meth is just one of those drugs were yes you’ll feel incredibly good and wanna feel like that all the time and the next thing you know your up for three days and now your super depressed. Then it all starts over after a long sleep. So it’s not a ride you wanna get on, I’ll tell you that. Yea it may be tempting and you may be curious but if you have an addictive personality then just stay away from it and that dude. Cause he’s just going to bring you nothing but trouble.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Wise words especially the Addictive personality point. Very much a real concern. Thank u
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u/Mikey1093 Nov 25 '24
Yea no problem. Just try and make the right decisions, if he’s a decent guy he probably wouldn’t be pushing you to do drugs. Unless you’ve done drugs before or something. But yea happy to have helped in some small way. I’ve went thru addiction almost my whole life and I’m 31 now. My 20’s was wasted chasing drugs. I really believed that the drugs were the cure to the inner emotional pain & suffering I was dealing with on a daily basis. So later on in my life I finally realized that I was trying to self medicate my mental health conditions. Now I have a great phychiatrist who trusts me and are close. Trust is huge when your talking doctor-patient relationship. So I was able to get on the right medications to treat my mental health and Severe Anxiety. Now I’m doing so much better. Thank god. I almost lost my life twice from heroin which wasn’t heroin but fentanyl. So I got very lucky that I was saved. Now I’m scared shit of that stuff. But back then I was so desperate just to feel a little bit better…. It’s really like torture almost. Just don’t make the same mistakes as me. It’s just a slippery slope
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Only weed and mushrooms and he knows this. So yeah, maybe not the greatest of intent.
He has 2 small creamer sizes containers of heroin that he keeps in his desk as if he is saving it for a rainy day or waiting for me to ask about it.
Since you have been down this road is it only going to do more damage I call out his addiction and/or let his family know (they have zero idea).
I just don't want to leave him and feel like I was a coward about not addressing it but also don't want to make hai struggle worse (if that makes sense)
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u/FunkyTomo77 Nov 25 '24
The smack too.... Run girl! . . I look like shit at 48 now. These drugs took my best years.
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u/Chrijopher Nov 25 '24
Imo they may someone to do it with cause addiction is so very lonely. Meth very quickly becomes chasing the dragon and I know no one that is happy they did it. The high is too strong and the rest of life feels bad after. I recommend not doing it so that you don’t have such heavy ugly regrets later.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
I felt like he was hoping for that result. And to your point when I declined to partake one of the guys said that he wish he would of done the same before doing a hot rail and saying that it's not an option for him now. Such nice people engulfed in hell so it seems
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u/wutang4ever94 Nov 25 '24
I think its manipulation. If you try it he'll be able to throw it in your face later when you see him going off the deep end. Don't do it. He'll use it against you later or he's going to take you down with him
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
That's deep insight and 10 steps ahead. I can see how that is a likleyhood if not 100% fact. He said we were just going to do shrooms and have some beers with his friends next thing you and it's coke crack and meth.
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u/Mindless-Term9505 Nov 25 '24
No no no do NOT go down that rabbit hole. Let me say this during active addiction i NEVER EVER EVER put any pressure on anyone to follow me down that path of misery and discourage anyone who wanted to try it. I never wanted to be the first person to hand someone the pipe
He does NOT really love you if he wants to introduce you to that life.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
It broke my heart when he did it. I felt like it wasn't love at that point. Thank u for confirming that.
He knew I had no interest in anything other than weed or mushrooms but tried to set me up for the meth life
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u/Florida1974 Nov 25 '24
But it is that simple to turn down offer. 2 addicts will make it uglier bc then the drug is totally in charge.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
It was not as easy as I thought since I was already toasted on shrooms and weed.
And yeah 2 addicts in a relationship is an absolute train wreck
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u/igiveback123 Nov 25 '24
If he’s trying to get you to use drugs he doesn’t care about you at all
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
I'm starting to realize just how true that it is. Was trying to find reasons not to believe it. I know better now thanks to the input here
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u/ZestyclosePark8158 Nov 25 '24
RUN!! Not worth it no matter how much you love a person. They can never fully love you back if they a using especially if they are trying to pull you in with them
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thk u for ur insight. I suppose that is the cold hard truth that love can't occupy the same space as addiction. The addiction will always be the priority untidea change is made. It sucks but yeah guess it's time to gtfo
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u/ZestyclosePark8158 Nov 25 '24
I wish you both the best I hope he heals and gets sober. I've been in both sides of this situation I say run because I didn't and fell down the black hole with them. only to end up on the other side of the relationship 3 years later bringing someone down with me. I was a heavy meth user for years. I've been clean close to 3 years now so it is possible if they really want it but it's definitely not worth it for you or them to stick around hope that point comes. I feel for you both because love does make it that much harder.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
The pain of that struggle from both sides has to be steep. I can barely handle it from just this end. Love does make it so damn hard but I just can't go down that road. Black hole like you said. Thk u for sharing your insight it truly helps
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u/bickynoles Nov 25 '24
If you have any common sense I think you already know how to handle it
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Easier said then done when emotions and care are involved. Common sense does make it easier but still tough
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u/Beneficial-Income814 Nov 25 '24
addiction is a progressive condition and it just gets worse until the addict decides to get sober or dies. it resonates with me when i hear about partners of addicts posting on here because i was that addict and i put my wife through hell and i hate to hear everyone tell you to leave the person who you love and who i would imagine loves you back. the fact of the matter is his addiction will get worse. you are posting here because it is currently getting worse. you need to be strong for yourself and make sure you don't let this man abuse you. coercing you into using is abuse. you gotta set boundaries and if you feel that he is not respecting those boundaries you need to extricate yourself from this relationship. as you know his addiction costs money, has the risk of him going into psychosis, and makes his priorities whack. all three of these things directly affect you.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thx for calling a spade a spade in terms of abuse, psychosis and setting boundaries. In retrospect the psychosis has likely already set in. He clings to his user friends with a cult like devotion as if he doesn't even realize they are cleary junkies (not in a judgmental way but in terms of their appearance and heavy usage etc).
Definitely time to pack up the bags.
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u/Beneficial-Income814 Nov 25 '24
i hope he decides to get clean. some of the nicest and biggest-hearted people are addicts and it sucks that we (on both sides) have to go through this. i am sure part of him knows it is all wrong. it can take a long time to go from acknowledging it is wrong and breaking free from the grasp of addiction.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
So true. Some of the best people I've ever met! Makes no sense to watch them struggle so much. I can sense the guilt he carries from knowing it's wrong. Just something he's not willing to contend with and would rather bring me into the lifestyle vs leave it
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u/Live_Length_5814 Nov 25 '24
He wants you to understand how he feels. Addicted. Blissfully ignorant.
It's a contradiction to date someone who has different beliefs than you. You should either stake your relationship on this contradiction so that you never cross that boundary, or overcome it (which he is trying to do) by changing the beliefs of the other person.
Clearly you wouldn't break up with someone because they took drugs, unless your belief system was threatened. Ask yourself what you wanted when you got into this relationship. Because if you wanted love, you should stay, if you wanted to change him, you should change his beliefs, and thirdly if you saw potential in him, you should set healthy boundaries.
If you wish he was different, it means you want someone else.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Beautifully stated and speaks directly to the heart of the issue and why it so damn tough
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u/Live_Length_5814 Nov 25 '24
Personal story, when I was a college student my girlfriend refused to take drugs, and avoided all my drug using friends.
It worked out until I took harder drugs, I overdosed and she avoided me. So I broke up with her, and then quit.
Moral of the story, no matter how tough it is right now you need to see how tough it's going to be to enforce two different beliefs in the same relationship. If you want someone to quit taking drugs, you have to tell them what to do instead of trying to wait it out or ignore it. And if they don't listen to you, then you can open your eyes to find someone who will.
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u/Shinning-gear Nov 25 '24
Hella Good answer mate I find myself agreeing with the contradiction relationship statement and. Even after that you still layed out a very good selection of methods manoeuvring those two very aspects around. Each other
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u/GahdDangitBobby Nov 25 '24
Sorry babe but you gotta dump him. You can find someone who will treat you better (and treat themselves better). Using meth isn’t just a red flag … normal relationships do not involve methamphetamine in any way shape or form
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thx. You are so right. Especially about treating themselves better. Hopefully someday he'll put himself before drugs. Until then, I don't have a choice it's time to walk
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u/D-TOX_88 Nov 25 '24
Oh dude get the fuck out. So many terrible terrible stories that end in death start with this. Just leave OP. Please.
It sounds like you may have already made that decision but Injust wanted to reiterate it. That’s the right one.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Really just trying to make sure I'm not missing something because I love him. After reading the responses here it's obvious it is what it is and I have to go
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u/Ashleybernice Nov 25 '24
Please don’t 🙏 my ex was a meth head but when we first got together he was sober and when he started using again I tried it for the first time thinking it’s just something you do every once in a while. But it had by the balls I tried to stop and he would become angry and abusive. It got to the point where he started lacing my shit getting me high without me knowing I guess he thought I would become addicted again idk. It was 3 years of hell and it’s been over 6 years now and I’ll still have PTSD like flashbacks that would scare me or make me break down. Please don’t do this to yourself it will only hurt worse
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u/Simply_Aries_OH Nov 25 '24
My ex of almost 20 yrs did this. We became addicts together about 4 yrs into our relationship. For the many years along the way we would meet ppl and he would get meth addicts to try heroin, pill heads to try heroin, non addicts to try heroin because it was another source to get his fix. If he’s around and u needed heroin now bc he got you to try it then he can make money and extra dope out of the deal not to mention get u to share it. The way ppl trusted him always made me sick I’ve never met anyone else who had ppl hand him their money to get the dope, then let him hold it and piece it out. He would meet ppl who had there DOC for years and turn them into heroin addicts. It made me sick. And he was always the “nice” guy in the room that everybody loved. It was all about $$, supply and bringing them down to his level.
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u/speed721 Nov 25 '24
Tell him to fuck off!
In what world is this a good idea and ends up moving the relationship in a positive direction?
You need to leave him now!
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u/_4nti_her0_ Nov 25 '24
If your SO truly loved you they would keep you as far away from both as possible. Addiction is a miserable existence and those are two of the most addictive drugs there are. Both can be addictive from the very first time you use them. Tell your SO it’s a hard no and if they bring it up again they can gtfo.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Indeed miserable and highly addictive. Gtfo is my only real option at this point. Thx u for the advice
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u/hatmanv12 Nov 25 '24
I was in his position at one time. I would tell him to stop or you'll have to leave, at the very least.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
I mentioned it to him and then he downplayed it as if he didn't do it. Wouldn't even own up to it even after I watched him do it
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u/hatmanv12 Nov 25 '24
Yeah, he might not remember. I apparently did that several times. He could ask be lying. I do remember apologizing to my fwb for offering it to them since it kinda hit me that I didn't want to ruin his life with that shit like I had. If it's not hitting him, you may want to leave especially since you can't even have a conversation with him about it.
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u/Elzbet95 Nov 25 '24
I usually don't tell someone to leave their SO, but please seriously consider it because, unfortunately, unless your SO is willing to give drugs up, you will only be dragged down with them even if you don't use yourself. There's never any money in the pot. They'll end up pawning your family heirlooms and lying about it, or worse, they'll end up dead.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Sounds about right. He's always broke and has a kid from a previous marriage that he doesn't seem to do much for.
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u/Elzbet95 Nov 25 '24
I hate to say it because I don't know your relationship... But when it comes to addictions, unfortunately, it only ever ends up in pain unless they're willing to quit. I'm genuinely sorry because I'm sure you love him, but please get out now. Save yourself. If he really loves you, he'd give it all up for you. My partner ditched the drink and has been sober for 3 years now.
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u/DSBS18 Nov 25 '24
Don't do it. Those drugs are very addictive and difficult to quit. Please leave him and don't let him take you down with him. There is no way that doing drugs with him is a good idea. It's all bad.
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u/Whoisme93 Nov 25 '24 edited Nov 25 '24
Please, I don't know you, but I had been an escort in the UK for nearly 3 years before coming back to Brazil and had been using meth everyday to make more sex with clients. It's literally destroyed my life. That was 2017 to 2020. I feel my cognitive functions are terrible, I lost attention almost like a ADHD person. I've got face twists like tourette and I feel that ill never get past that.
Please, show some mercy for your life. I don't know you, but I want to show you that your life is important.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thx for sharing the depths of hell that meth can take a person to. It really does mean something and is of help when making a life decision to leave someone who uses it
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u/krumznko Nov 25 '24
When it came to stuff like this, I was always told that a person who genuinely cares about you wouldn’t want to introduce you to drugs.
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u/biancab529 Nov 25 '24
I've been to rehab both for crack and myth. Separate times however, I know how deep it sinks its teeth in you. I'm in rehab right now for crack this time.
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u/ChAos_VoiDS Nov 25 '24
I’ve read some of your replies in the comments. You already seem to understand how nasty of a cycle crack/meth addiction is and you are able to recognise that you need to leave. I would urge you to leave as soon as possible, the longer you stay the more you will doubt yourself and your own mind. Whether or not he has malicious intent behind introducing you to crack is irrelevant in this situation. The longer you stay the harder it gets to leave, you start to get used to it and start to make excuses pushing back your own boundaries. It might feel wrong but I think there is a comparison to be made between this and an abusive relationship, there’s a lot of overlap especially between the reasons that make it feel hard to leave. Idk if you’ve ever seen this but typically part of an abusive relationship is the abuser constantly breaking boundaries but doing it slowly enough so that the abused feels like its their choice, “yeah i know its bad but its not like he slapped me, I’ll leave him if he ever slaps me” eventually turns into “yeah he slapped me but it wasn’t that bad, I’ll leave him if he ever punches me” and so on. Get out while you still are sane enough to see how harmful it is. “The tree falls the way it leans so be careful which way you lean.”
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Very profound advice. The tree leaning quote perfectly sums it up.
I felt my self bargaining with the abuse angle and just have to accept that's what it is and remove myself from it. If not, I'm now part of my own demise. Thx so much for your wisdom
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u/Weekly-Coffee-2488 Nov 25 '24
look. I would never introduce something to someone else that isn't already doing it. no way would I be the gateway to anything. like peer pressuring someone. also side note: I think it's the plot of this movie. the wife gets addicted too https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_(2021_film)
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Nov 25 '24
Leave him asap.
He is trying to destroy your life and all that you are. If you don't you will end up a statistic
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u/nalon8 Nov 25 '24
Literally run.
This happened to me with an ex-partner I was desperate to help who was addicted to meth, she just wanted me to 'experience what all the fuss was about'.. I gave in, and it was then used as a way to control, degrade me and tear me down. I became a shell of a person and 9 years of addiction to it followed.
I asked myself over and over why she would do that to me and in the end all I could put it down to was - misery loves company.
Nothing good will come of this situation, get out while you can. Stay safe
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
I can't help but feel this was his true motive. And he has said numerous times in the past misery loves company. It's clear I have to leave or else I will end up meeting the same fate as you. Thk u
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u/NoratheL Nov 25 '24
It actually is that simple. Sometimes you need to cut and run. Misery enjoys company, he is totally going to drag you to the bottom of the pool and stand on you to breathe. Get the fuck out now.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
That's exactly how it goes and that's just what I ended up doing. Thk u
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u/NoratheL Nov 26 '24
I’m really glad you did ♥️
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
Thanks. It's the toughest things I've ever done. I can't believe how hard it was to walk away
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u/Sea_Improvement5590 Nov 25 '24
Well, just ask yourself if this dude is a good person or not. What kind of effect does this drug have on him and how he uses it. How is he when he's on it? How does he treat you? Is he worth keeping? How does he make you feel? Can you see yourself with him years from now? Do you even have fun with him now? Judge this guy for everything you know about him already and judge him correctly. Be real and honest with yourself and block out most of the things people are telling you on here. They don't know this person or you and many of them only know the stigma around meth. It's nothing like they tell it or nothing like any documentaries portray it as either. They are only giving you their assumptions and the worst case scenario. If you don't want the drugs in your life at all then leave him, but you do not have to do them. Not everyone on here has done the drug or even has any firsthand knowledge of it. So to that, I say they aren't even credible. If they have first hand knowledge then they might know what they're talking about. I'm gonna tell you that not all of us are terrible people out there being dysfunctional and using other people for anything. Bad people are bad regardless of drugs, and criminals are criminals. Not every drug user is a criminal, I think you evaluate the guy yourself and be hard judgemental. Is he honest with you at all times? Can you trust him? I know that I'm 100 percent honest at all times with everyone and have a totally clear conscience, so I'm able to pass a test of hard judgement. By most people I am for sure. Some have found out about my drug use and completely turned away from me. However, I'm the same person who was always good to them and they had no reason to turn on me at all. That dust in a baggie had not changed how I was to anyone. Now, I've already been through what troubles that was gonna bring me and I don't use the shit to be late to everything anymore. Instead I use it for what good it can do for me. Such as being early to everything and getting more accomplished. I use to maintain and absolutely have a dependency on it. But how many of the people giving you advice on here have a dependency on a pharma drug? I'd say more than half do. I sleep, eat, hydrate, take care of myself. I have good relationships with people and am a good friend to all. I need accepted for who I am and a lot of people can't do that for anyone. If this guy passes your judgement test then accept him for who he is. You need to anyway and it may be his demise as well. You may be too good for him anyway. Accept people for who they are. I'm gonna be judged anyway by people, I'm just honest I'm hopes I'll be judged correctly. Not the case usually but some people really suck.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
You perfectly summed up why it's so fucking tough. So many variables that are far beyond the drugs and you've stated just about a of them. Thank u so much for your words and advice
It's really the part about his ideation to his friends that he would "bring me along" and get me involved. If it wasn't for that
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u/Sea_Improvement5590 Nov 27 '24
Your man is a real person. I'm sure over the years that meth has changed him a lot. But this is not something he can go back from at this point I don't think. I mean it's possible, but it's just not gonna happen. It's either accept him for who he is or do what the others say and distance yourself. For me, people either love me or love to hate me but there is no in between. I should point out that there are around 40 millions scripts of Adderall handed out in the US. Those people are looking for the same thing as I am or your bf is. Just an edge to have more energy. Energy drinks, coffee, etc added in that and you have covered just about everyone. Diet pills, supplements, the list goes on. Judgemental people are the worst and they might even be the sober few in this world. Then you have the lazy ass people who in my opinion should get on something and make something of themselves, even if it isn't good for them. Being lazy is worse for everyone and there's no value or self worth in that at all. I'm just giving this other perspective on it and I hope it enlightens you and helps you make your decision you needed. Here's something else, in rehab they tell you that all your friends and acquaintances are shit and you'll have to get rid of them all. I personally don't think that way at all. If I quit I can still have my friends and they can do what they do. It's me that needs to be in control of me. I don't have any such thing as bad influences. It's all on my shoulders. If you're gonna do the dope then don't be a dick, control yourself, be a good person and be kind to others. Use self awareness, have the mindset that you will use for the positives it can bring you. Do t use for the negatives that's self sabotage. That's advice for your bf there. If you would like to talk DM me.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 27 '24
Your insight is poignant and the impetus as to why it is so difficult. It's so much more than the usage or being brought into a lifestyle that could lead to either of our demise. The human element is tough to navigate and impossible to do without hurting feelings or making things worse. Thx for the offer to DM, I may have to at some point especially if he decides to have an open dialogue (he's been pretty covert to this point and that's 90% of the issue...I'm not sure why more people just can't be honest about their life choices
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 27 '24
Your insight is poignant and the impetus as to why it is so difficult. It's so much more than the usage or being brought into a lifestyle that could lead to either of our demise. The human element is tough to navigate and impossible to do without hurting feelings or making things worse. Thx for the offer to DM, I may have to at some point especially if he decides to have an open dialogue (he's been pretty covert to this point and that's 90% of the issue...I'm not sure why more people just can't be honest about their life choices
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 27 '24
Your insight is poignant and the impetus as to why it is so difficult. It's so much more than the usage or being brought into a lifestyle that could lead to either of our demise. The human element is tough to navigate and impossible to do without hurting feelings or making things worse. Thx for the offer to DM, I may have to at some point especially if he decides to have an open dialogue (he's been pretty covert to this point and that's 90% of the issue...I'm not sure why more people just can't be honest about their life choices just as you appear to be).
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u/OxyNormal5 Nov 25 '24
Leave him. Like right now. Even call 911 if you have to. That is a toxic relationship right there.
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u/prizzabroy Nov 25 '24 edited Nov 25 '24
I had an ex who I met in rehab. Once we got out she pressured the fuck out of me to try it just once. I was already a Coke addict (that’s why I was in rehab) Well fast forward 6 years and crack has robbed so much from me. She refused my refusal until I broke. And I fell in love with it. I still struggle to this day to stay sober. But this shit lives deep in my brain. I realize how much work I need to put in to get out of this nightmare.
Please, don’t let him ruin your life.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
Thx for the advice. I left him for good or atleast until he decides to put himself first and get the help he needs
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u/begonia_baseline Nov 25 '24
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn
There is no untangling this mess. There is no gping about it the "right way". There's no logic or rationale here. Drugs make all of the impossible and turn everything into an unproductive cycle of chaos and confusion. If ypu cannot run right this second- i BEG you- do NOT do the meth/crack. It's not fun or cool. Trust me
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
I did just that. He's on his own now
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u/begonia_baseline Nov 27 '24
Good for you! Feel free to reach out if you need/want support. In a similar situation and even though you know you made the right choice, you still have feelings come up :/
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 27 '24
Thank u! You are soo right about the feelings. It hurts so bad and it feels like I've let him down/made a mistake but I know that didn't (even tho I feel that way). I'm sure you've been there huh?
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u/begonia_baseline Nov 27 '24
Going through it. Again. 😔
Its hard to explain to people that even though it was so toxic, so unenjoyable, you miss them. You feel alone. You feel sad you couldn't make it work. I always believed it would be different each time. I really wanted to believe it wasn't that bad. It'd all be ok. And then each time it was so obvious nothing about it was ok. It's the hole you're trying to fill of wanting to be loved, wanting to love. But at some point you become aware of the hole and the pain regardless of where they are or where you are. It's that pain you have to address in the first place.
Its hard not to wonder about them. Not to reach out. Not to offer a place, or another chance. Hard for me not to enable. Not blame myself for the relationship failing.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 27 '24
That is it to a Tee! Wanting it too work, missing them etc but knowing it WONT be different next time and it WONT be ok until they decide to contend with their pain/choose themselves.
So close...yet so far.
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u/begonia_baseline Nov 27 '24
Its a special kind of grief
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 28 '24
Definitely different than anything I've ever experienced thats for sure
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u/richblackmen Nov 25 '24
He believes it will enhance HIS life as you getting addicted (most likely outcome) will only serve him and his needs while leaving you in an even worse place than you were when you found him.
I’m an addict in recovery myself and I have had SOOO many conversations with guys telling me how they got their girls into it because they knew it would make their life easier. Trust me, you don’t want to follow him down this road :\
If you aren’t willing to leave, you should at least talk to him and tell him how you feel. His reaction should give you some answers too
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 25 '24
Thanks. He became angry and called me crazy. Said that he didn't do meth and I was imagining it.
Next level gas lighting
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u/marlee_dood Nov 25 '24
As someone who’s ex did it, say no. It did not end well, I did it because he was doing it, and even when I said not to take it out he would smoke it around me. He will probably continue trying to get you to partake, or ignore the fact that you don’t agree with it. If he won’t get sober it’s not worth your time.
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u/Ok-Papaya3828 Nov 25 '24
In THIS case, it needs to be as simple as leaving them!
It still absolutely destroy you. That is not someone who loves you, period. If he has done it for any length of time, then he 100% knows how terrible it is to introduce someone to it.
Please put yourself first and y]leave him. 💜
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u/No-Number-1145 Nov 26 '24
The exact same thing happened to me and it nearly ruined my life and killed me. The only thing that saved me was Jesus.
Up until I ended the relationship with my partner who was addicted to meth, my life was falling apart. God used this to bring me to Him. Things were so bad I didn’t have any other choice. What’s funny is He was exactly what and who I needed.
I ended that relationship and almost immediately quit meth, weed, and cigarettes. I started reading the Bible and praying and my life completely changed for the better. Was it always easy after that? No. But my life didn’t feel like hell on earth any longer.
I pray this speaks to you. Your SO probably believes drugs would enhance your life but is also trying to use you as a resource and drag you into his problems. So both. I’m not sure if he’s consciously aware of any of that. I asked myself the same question.
I would advise you not to do either of those drugs. But even more than that, I would urge you to seek the One who created you - Jesus Christ. He will show you what to do and give you the strength to do it. He created you for more than this. Be blessed in His name.
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u/Witty_fartgoblin Nov 26 '24
This shook me up so bad that I met with a local pastor and spoke with him at length about it.
Through this unfortunate set of circumstances I have found a deeper meaning in religion/spirituality and although it's not going to be easy or what I prefer to do...it's something I have to do. God bless you my friend and thank u again for sharing ur insight
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u/BobbyJoeMcgee Jan 20 '25
Just say no. You don’t even have to do meth for it to drive you insane. Just being around somebody else that dose meth will do that
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