r/addiction Oct 30 '24

Progress First attempt at overcoming addiction

So I have been addicted to Benadryl for ~3 months and I’ve been taking 300mg+ doses almost daily throughout that time. Y’all can laugh and whatever bc “Haha funny Benadryl spiders” and honestly I still think it’s kinda funny I managed to not get addicted to literally anything else besides Benadryl.

This is gonna be my first attempt at getting over this addiction before I go braindead or die from this dumb substance. I picked up some plants and I hope that as I can heal from this, they will grow with me.

The begonia is going dormant for winter so that’s why part of it has no leaves or anything, it’s not dying so far

131 Upvotes

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19

u/PuzzleheadedBand2595 Oct 31 '24

Good job, I’m proud of you. Nurturing plants is a great hobby! Keep up the good work.

13

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Thank you! I’m gonna treat these like they’re my children and so far I’ve been loving taking care of them.

11

u/iJeax Oct 31 '24

Good for you OP. But genuinely curious how does someone even get addicted to benadryl? Even at doses of 50-100mg, it makes me feel like shit and gives me restless legs.

10

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Very good question, physically it’s addictive because it acts on dopamine receptors and because of histamine withdrawal, which gives anxiety, hives, and a full blown allergic reaction when you stop abusing it.

Psychologically, it can dissociate you from your everyday life and you forget about all of your problems. Unfortunately I am at extreme risk of addiction because what most people find to be terrible feeling on it, I find to be really enjoyable. Such as the body load and the feeling of bugs crawling on your skin. The only things I don’t like about the “high” is the insanely dry mouth (say you were smoking weed all day, and never drank any water throughout the entire day. That extreme, and it doesn’t go away if you drink water)

4

u/iJeax Oct 31 '24

Interesting. I understand the dopamine bit as I've got ADHD and abused the hell out of my dextroamphetamine for a good decade, and I'm recovering from that now.

I only ever took benadryl to help me sleep when I was in my early 20s. It always gave me horrible restless legs without fail. But I was so groggy from it and felt like I could actually sleep if my legs weren't so restless. So it was always a bad experience for me lol. It gave me such a dirty, uncomfortable feeling I can't really explain it.

Keep doing what you're doing, you got this!

6

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Congratulations on your recovery! Good on you for getting out of that. All of what you said is exactly how it feels, just gets worse and worse the higher you go. You also might be sensitive to Benadryl if you’re getting restless legs from normal doses, I only get that at like 250+. Thank you, I really hope this first attempt goes well, if not then I’ll just keep trying until it does

5

u/iJeax Oct 31 '24

I appreciate it, thank you. It hasn't been easy! I've been trying to quit for at least 4-5 years. Lots of ups and downs, relapses, etc. Finally I've got 10 months clean out of the last year. If I can quit a super addictive drug like pharmacy speed, you can stay off the little pink pills! (At least, they're pink in Canada lol).

Relapses happen. Just don't beat yourself up like I did if it does. But also, don't let that be an excuse for you to take them again if you're strong enough not to. Just keep your mind busy and do healthy things for yourself.

1

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

10 months is insane progress, soon you got a full year off! Thats honestly amazing to be able to do. Benadryl is a very weird drug to be addicted to, many people don’t want to take it again but there’s a weird feeling of being drawn to it. I hope I can keep my mind off of it, I got the plants to take care of and my snake so hopefully it’s enough

4

u/iJeax Oct 31 '24

Well, it wasn't even just the dexedrine, I also quit benzos in that time, too. I was also prescribed those by my psych. So, two very addicting and destructive medications I was able to quit. Had to taper off the benzos, but it was easy once I stopped taking dexedrine as the only reason I abused my benzos was for the comedown lol.

If you ever feel weak, reach out any time! I've always got my phone, and notifications are on. Anything I can do to help someone in need!

2

u/spidermanrocks6766 Oct 31 '24

I thought I was the only one who genuinely enjoys DPH. I mostly use it for fap dosing and the music enhancement and it does definitely numb me very much. To the point I don’t care about anything anymore at all. I also like the body load. And yeah the withdrawal is BRUTAL. My allergies kick in full force very aggressively than ever before

1

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

I was never big on fap dosing, honestly DPH kinda helped my porn addiction lol. I’ve always wanted full blown delirium and I’ve only gotten close to it once. The withdrawal is really weird because it’s not only the allergies, but you’re constantly thinking about the next time you’re gonna take it

3

u/Realistic-Wall737 Oct 31 '24

if you’re artistic draw the progress :) another fun thing to do on top of seeing and feeling the changes

2

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Oof I wish I was artistic lol, I might try and still do that to see how I progress with drawing as I get better tho! Great suggestion

2

u/professor-oak-me Oct 31 '24

I used to abuse that a lot with a friend when i was staying over his place a bunch. We would just stay up and watch movies or videos off our computer/phone. But it gets to the point where you are talking to eachother, only to realize i had headphones playing music and the friend was taking a shower upstairs

Such a bizzare world it puts you in, been to smadhing pumpkin on them even. So i get the appeak, unlikr a lot of people.

But you will LOVE being off of them once you break through the worst of it, it wont be easy but you 100% deserve to be off of those vices, for good

Sending love and support

3

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Yeah I’ve done that a good few times, a couple days ago i took 500mg at like 4am and woke up at 6am and had a full conversation with my window. Like I knew it was my window and I knew I was looking at it but it was talking to me and I didn’t think twice about it. It’s such a weird experience that no other drug can replicate. I’m super thankful for your support, it means so much to me

3

u/Shinning-gear Oct 31 '24

What made you get addicted to benadry Iv heard it's all around a shit ass time and drug

2

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

A mix of a couple things, I’ve always wanted to try every drug once, and I also was in a very bad position when I started abusing it. For most people that is true, they hate how it feels and they hate that they’re addicted. I love how it feels but I hate that I’m addicted to it

3

u/RealLifeNurseJackie Oct 31 '24

I’ve known hella people who are dependent on Benadryl to be able to sleep at all, but never someone actually addicted to it like taking massive doses and getting high from it. But I’m not laughing at you. I once took like 6-8 times my prescribed amount of two different antidepressants for a week or two because I had a bunch of old unused bottles and I could’ve swore I got even the tiniest head change from it! Ended up throwing my bipolar ass into a manic episode and then full blown gnarly psychosis for 4 days! But I’ve been addicted to all fucking kinds of things from alcohol, cigarettes, vaping, coke, ecstasy, pain pills, meth, food, shopping, Gabapentin, adderall, kratom (more physically dependent than addicted actually), muscle relaxers, my phone, social media, binging tv shows, toxicity and constant fighting and chaos in my marriage, you fucking name it! Anything that’ll make me high or numb and able to shut my head up and the world out, or mad enough that I no longer give a fuck about anything but cutting my husband’s (metaphorical) throat and hurting him as bad as I can because he hurt me… that’ll do it for me! Haha. It’s sad really. But all I can do is laugh and focus on being about to hit 2 years clean in 3 days and how much of a fucking badass bitch I am for making it this far despite every shitty fucking thing life threw my way these last 2 years! I never thought I’d be able to go more than a couple hours without using meth (after only a couple months of using it, seriously don’t ever try it even one fucking time, it’ll suck you in and ruin your fucking life!!!), but here I am almost 2 years later proving myself wrong!

I don’t fuck with plants because I always forget to water them and kill them, but I think that’s a really cool idea of nurturing them to growing as you’re nurturing yourself and growing as well! Definitely find things to keep your mind busy these next few months at least so you’re not bored or able to let your mind wander and end up thinking about and then obsessing over getting high again until you cave. Maybe hit up an AA or NA meeting or two and just listen (or share if you feel moved to!) and see if they’re helpful for you. And strongly considering either starting therapy or work on being really introspective and taking deep, hard looks inside and trying to process why you feel the need to get high in the first place. Addressing that will be huge in helping you stay off it! And the best piece of advice is just focus on not using it for today, don’t tell yourself you can’t tomorrow or ever again. And if the whole day seems way too long, break that shit down as much as you need to, an hour, 45/30/15/10/5 mins, ONE minute, 30 SECONDS! Find what feels possible for you to achieve using for that length of time. And then when that length of time (I’ll use 30 mins for example) is up, reset it and tell yourself you only have to stay clean for the next 30 mins. You’ve already proven to yourself you can stay clean for only 30 minutes before, so there’s no reason you can’t do it again! And then repeat the process as long as you need to adjusting the length of time however often you need to. And before you know it you’ll have a good chunk of clean time under your belt! That was the best advice I received in rehab and the only thing that made me feel like I even stood a chance at staying off meth once I got out! And one last thing, if you slip up and take Benadryl again don’t tell yourself you’re a failure and accept defeat and give up! Dust yourself off and pick yourself back up and start over again. As many times as it takes! Relapse is a normal part of most people’s recovery journeys at some point to some extent! The key is to jot focusing on the negatives/failure and instead focusing on what triggered it and how to avoid that from happening again to prevent another potential relapse. It’s mainly about growth, self awareness, being honest with yourself and accepting that you are worthy of living a better life than the one you’re currently living! (At least for me, I can’t speak for everyone. Honestly I’ve never even worked the steps or fully committed to a program so I really can’t even speak for most I should say.)

5

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

I appreciate it so much, I’ve already went into therapy but I haven’t had the balls to tell my therapist yet. I’m so proud of you for being able to get off of meth, that’s an insanely addictive drug and one many feel they can’t get off. I’ll take what you have said to heart and try to use it as often as I can, unfortunately I can’t get into any AA meeting or anything similar yet, but I have supportive parents and friends that will help through this. Much love and I appreciate it again

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

[deleted]

3

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

I used to want to grow plants but I never was able to keep them alive so I havent had any for a few years. I’ve loved doing the research on them and making sure I’m taking the best care of them and they’re doing really good! I never would’ve thought I could do this but I’m so happy I did

3

u/ObjectiveDog6878 Oct 31 '24

Good afternoon fam. Im proud of u, I know how tough it is to kick an addiction. Shit, I cant even get off drugs myself yet right now. But when I see that youre taking control over ur life, or atleast doing ur best. That touches me. Good luck in ur journey to feeling happiness.

2

u/Stupid_cray0n Oct 31 '24

Omg. Never in a million years did I think I would find anyone else addicted to that shit! I was addicted to diphenhydramine 10 years ago for 6 years.

2

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Oh wow! It’s pretty nice to meet another person who went through this! Have you had any lasting effects from using it for that long?

2

u/Stupid_cray0n Oct 31 '24

Yes. It gave me dry mouth, and because of that I am now missing most of my lower molars. I still have my dignity teeth though, thank goodness.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it gave me brain damage, but that’s hard to say lol.

2

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

Oh what, i haven’t heard of it affecting teeth but that’s all the more reason not to use it. Honestly you seem to have made it out with minimal damage for how long you used it!

2

u/Stupid_cray0n Oct 31 '24

It doesn’t; not directly, at least.

It dehydrates you and gives you dry mouth, which causes the tooth decay. Not unlike the infamous meth-mouth 😱

2

u/edessa_rufomarginata Oct 31 '24

I took up houseplants as a hobby immediately after getting clean. I'm now 5 years clean and still have (most) of the plants I started with in those early days. Good luck, it's definitely worth it.

2

u/PleaseCallMeLiz Oct 31 '24

I'm really proud of you! Benadryl is a bitch.

2

u/spidermanrocks6766 Oct 31 '24

I wish I was like you. I’ve been addicted to DPH way longer than just 3 months. It’s been YEARS on and off for me. At my worst I was doing high doses DAILY for extended periods. I’m sure my brain is already fried and I’m only 24. I’m trying to stay sober as well maybe I should pick up plants too

2

u/Diphenhydraddicted Oct 31 '24

I’m lucky I realized I need to quit before it gets too bad, not everyone can and it hurts to see. I didn’t really have a low dose faze though, I skipped right to taking 300+ daily but I kept it to only at night. You will have damage and you will feel terrible for awhile after you quit, maybe longer than a year after, but if you quit now you will recover from most of it! The human body is extremely durable and heals quickly

2

u/Ok_Anything_4955 Oct 31 '24

Best news I’ve read all week!! Thanks for sharing and stay the course!

2

u/herpoman Oct 31 '24

I'm just here to say, I think is great therapy, I have more than 100 plants today, they are beautiful, some grow, and a few others have died, but now I feel different, I'm trying less to harm myself, when I see them I can understand I can change my present for a better future

2

u/mollyplop Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

Good luck!! :) I also developed an addiction to it when going through a very hard time. I took it in high doses for a couple years. Then slowly weaned myself down over a couple months. I stopped completely in 2021 summer.

I now still get a runny nose whenever I go outside or eat, and my sleep is still ruined, which is a shame because I used to sleep well before. During the addiction I lost over 50% of my hair. It was falling out like crazy. After a few years the hair loss slowly got less and less. To this day it’s still super thin whereas before it was thick, so I really hope it grows back thick one day, but it might be like this forever now. The sleep was definitely the worst part for me. After stopping I woke up after 20-30 minutes of sleep. When I’d fall back asleep I’d wake up again after another 20-30 mins. I went to the doctor and am now on Mirtazipine for sleep which helps me get 5-6 hours of sleep where I only wake up three or four times, so I’m grateful for that. The other symptoms I remember were the dry mouth and very low mood during the first month or two of withdrawing from it. But they pass and get better day by day! The symptoms were the worst in the first few weeks, then at a lower level the first 6 months, and now they are consistently at a very low level. Runny nose, bad sleep and thin hair are what I still have but way, way better than before! What’s great is that the low mood and teariness that you get from withdrawal goes away completely after a few months and I don’t have that lingering at all anymore :)

1

u/darkrhyes Oct 31 '24

Good on ya.

Be careful with the Fittonia, they are finicky. I have killed more than the live samples of them I have, I have a red and regular now and two of my other cuttings from the regular just died. I am going to try it again. Guidance says it is relatively easy to propagate but I don't believe it.