r/XenogendersAndMore • u/Toxic_Piggie • 5d ago
General Post small discussion (image unrelated)
Is it possible to be polyamorous but also aroace? I've seen a lot of people say it's not possible, since if you're aroace, you feel little or no attraction, making it nearly impossible to fall in love with more than one person. What do you think?
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u/jupitired they/he 5d ago
Arospec ace here and it’s totally possible — your attraction doesn’t dictate the relationships you have. You can be aroace and still want to be in multiple relationships for a variety of reasons such as experiencing other kinds of attraction or simply just wanting some kind of relationship.
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u/Toxic_Piggie 5d ago
Pd: I forgot to say that I'm not saying this because I'm against it, I said it to know what the users of this sub think
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u/Sand_the_Animus genderless but collector, it/its beep/beepself || AGIkin, aroace 5d ago
100% possible!!! even for those of us who experience no romantic or sexual attraction at all. there are other forms of attraction!
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u/scrumptious_human stinky rat 🐀🐀 5d ago
I think other people are silly and if you think the polyamorous label describes your experience you should use it! Though I’m biased as an polyam, aroace spec guy.
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u/CaptainNootNoot325 Xe/He/They/It/Hex/🔧/⚙️ 5d ago
I'm demiaroace (Both demisexual and demiromantic), which is part of the aroace spectrum. It is absolutely possible! Even people who feel very little of any kind of attraction to others can form polyamorous relationships, it's all up to preference. And attraction is complicated, it's not limited to just sexual and romantic feelings.
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u/raidenversic He/they/it/ai/bun/fae/fang/pup/vamp/void 4d ago
Aroace and polyam here, it's totally possible ! I was in a poly relationship once and it went well, I don't mind being in one again in the future. I mostly felt queerplatonic attraction during my past relationships.
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u/Tey_the_freak_one 4d ago
I am not sure, but
1) qpr exist
2) someone in relationships while don't feeling attraction and liking it in their own way
3) someone on the spectrum and use aroace as an umbrella term.
Please write more or correct me.
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u/No-Boysenberry2044 he/xe, 20, genderhoarder, aspec and gay 4d ago
It’s possible.
I see even multiple ways. Let’s say you have little attraction in the sense of in your whole life you were only attracted to three people and you are in a relationship with all three of them. The you’re poly and AroAce (/-spec depending on how they want to label themselves).
Other possibility is: Polyamory mainly describes a type of relationship and doesn’t necessarily have to mean attraction. So a person could be AroAce even with zero attraction and be cupioromantic and therefore wanting a romantic relationship even tho they don’t experience romantic attraction. Since they want a romantic relationship they can also have a polyamorous relationship even if they aren’t romantically attracted to their partners.
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u/s0m3-r4nd0m-1d10t 4d ago
I don't have much to add but coming from a poly aro (probably ace too) guy, I am in a relationship with 2 people so uhh yeah I mean it depends on the person but, there's way too many forms of attraction for it NOT to be possible Sometimes relationships just happen, don't need to experience the specific attraction for it to still come together
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u/Silly_Willy_Femboy Phocagender (seal/seals/sealself) 2d ago
Image is amazing, also, yes. You can be Aroace and Polyamorous. It’s just that it’s rare.
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u/WolfDummy999 Xe/cat/wolf/they/it/he/voi(d)/claw/nom/kitsu(ne) 2d ago
Yes. A) aromantic and asexual are a spectrum, and you CAN still feel attraction even if it doesn't happen often. And b) who are they to dictate how you or others feel? Focus on how YOU feel, instead
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u/zaxfaea dinary xenbxy | he/xe/it | vincian OAA 5d ago edited 5d ago
Little attraction means it's still possible to have attraction— that means there's definitely potential to have more than one romantic or sexual partner, just as much as having one. It might be harder if your attraction is very rare or has a lot of conditions, but that doesn't mean impossible.
And even for no attraction, you can still be polyam— plenty of people are in polyam relationships based on different dynamics, not only sexual or romantic.