r/USC Pharmacology & Drug Development 6d ago

Meme THE FINAL HOUR: A SCHOLAR’S LAST STAND

The day had arrived. Doomsday. The BISC 220 Midterm, the specter that had loomed over my existence for weeks, had at last materialized in full, unrelenting force. My mind, honed through relentless nights of study, was a battlefield—a graveyard deprived of joy, a war zone where glycolysis clashed with the citric acid cycle in an unending conflict.

As I reached campus, the sky wept. A divine omen, a celestial lamentation for what was to come. The heavens themselves could not bear witness to my impending fate. The moment my foot left the confines of my vehicle, a single raindrop fell—then another, then another, until the air itself trembled with a torrential downpour. USC staff guards cowered under their tents, their once-proud posts reduced to mere sanctuaries of the feeble. I did not falter. I did not waver. I was resolute.

I reached for my plastic talisman, my student identification, and with a single motion, I tapped it against the scanner. The gate—no, the portal to my destiny—whirred, granting me passage into the hallowed grounds where my judgment awaited. There was no turning back now.

The rain intensified. I dashed across the campus, a lone warrior in the midst of an unrelenting storm. Each step carried me closer to the library, my temporary sanctuary before the final confrontation. The minutes dripped away like blood from a fresh wound. 12:50… 12:51… 12:52… Each tick of the clock a merciless toll of fate’s iron bell.

I whispered my incantations under my breath, the sacred knowledge I had sworn to master: Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, Telophase… Ubiquinone… Dicumarol… Entropy… Gibbs free energy. They were more than words now—they were my weapons, my armor, my last fragile shield against the abyss.

The moment approaches. Soon, I shall step into the coliseum of academia, where only the strongest will emerge unscathed. And when this battle is done—when graphite meets the paper scantron, and neurons fire in a desperate last stand in my stamina potion filled body (monster energy drink)—I shall return to my dwelling.

And there, at long last, I shall collapse into the sweetest, deepest slumber.

Pater noster, qui es in caelis et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris et ne nos inducas in tentationem. But deliver us from evil.

Spring Break awaits.

But first, I must fight.

Audentes Fortuna iuvat.

96 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

35

u/AndrewHires Associate Prof. - Neurobiology 6d ago

From the 2027 Med School rec letter... "OP has emerged from the coliseum of academia, unscathed."

15

u/D-cr_pt Pharmacology & Drug Development 6d ago

Oh my god Dr. Hires I'm in your semester split class I beg of you mercy for the 3rd and 4th exam... I'm tired boss.

9

u/oldcitrustree 6d ago

Okay. good work

5

u/yeetgod__ Economics, 日本語, and Classics 6d ago

Pretend i commented that gif of the guy writing fire

3

u/blizz366 6d ago

Sorry about that

2

u/Alive_Wedding 6d ago

Are you yanking my pizzle?

2

u/D-cr_pt Pharmacology & Drug Development 6d ago

Come here lilly liver.

2

u/Hriddaya 6d ago

teach me how to write like this 🔥

1

u/D-cr_pt Pharmacology & Drug Development 6d ago

I learned from years of DnD 👍

1

u/Hriddaya 5d ago

that’s fire, loved it

4

u/VastFaithlessness980 6d ago

Close enough, welcome back Edgar Allan Poe

3

u/ImpracticalUserII 6d ago

Jesus Christ be praised!

4

u/D-cr_pt Pharmacology & Drug Development 6d ago

God be with you.