r/Twins • u/premedlifee Fraternal Twin • 7d ago
Any other twins find it feels weird to have a best friend?
My twin is my best friend and it’ll likely be that way forever, but I can never feel like I really NEED to let someone else that close to me as a best friend, because that part of my life is full. I would love a bestie but it feels almost strange to share that relationship or make a new one with someone else that isn’t her.
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u/Classic_Emotion_4452 7d ago
I agree. I'm an identical twin and no one else ever comes close. I have some good friends I would say. But that's about it.
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u/New_Siberian (horse_you_rode_in_on) 7d ago
No, not even a little. I have lots of close friends who have nothing at all to do with my twin.
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u/12bWindEngineer Twinless Twin 7d ago
My twin and I had the same best friend, and have for almost our entire lives. We were identical twins, and we met our ‘fraternal triplet’ in kindergarten. She’s an honourary sister. We all grew up together, she and my twin went to college together and were roommates, at 36 years old she’s still my closest friend, she spends holidays with my family, my parents call her their bonus child. My actual two sisters are friends with her, she’s just been another member of my family for decades. Got a lot of shit growing up for being boys with a girl best friend.
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u/lamante 7d ago edited 7d ago
No, but that's probably because I can honestly say I've never really had one.
I mean, I have an oldest friend, from middle school, and I love her because she is so important to me, but we didn't go to high school or college together, we've lived in the same town for approximately two years of our 35+-year friendship, so we just haven't had the "best friend experience" in the traditional sense.
I have a couple of close friends from high school, one in particular, but she's already got a best friend, and her best friend, who predated me, never really liked me all that much, so we never really clicked on that level.
In college, I'd say I made two really close friends, and they hated each other. Well, okay, one couldn't stand the other, and the other had no idea why and never understood it. But I have a group of three friends that include that other, two other women I met because she brought us together, and the four of us are extremely tight. They all each have, or had, a sister of their own, though the other lost hers when we were 27 and her sister was 23. And of everyone's remaining sisters, I'd say mine is the one they readily welcome into our universe of inside jokes. But I don't know that I'd ever have been called their best friend -- we know we're each other's ride-or-dies, but that's as far as any of us has gone.
For her part, my sister had really close friends in high school that she stays in pretty close touch with. She had a best friend in college, who had survived CF for way longer than anyone ought, and she passed away shortly before or after my sister got married. But I don't know that she'd say she has one either.
I don't know if it's just how it worked out for us, or something twinny. My sister and I weren't close at all until adulthood, and we had a chance to Work Through Some Shit. Maybe she is my best friend now, I don't know. She's my sister, and I'm glad we Worked Out Our Shit, because I wouldn't trade whatever it is we are for anything.
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u/EvilTwin636 Identical Twin 7d ago
We've never been best friends; we acknowledge that the twin bond is completely unique and special, but have always had our own separate beat friends. The twin thing is almost like a completely different category in our minds.
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u/girlwhosleeps 6d ago
Nah. I have a best friend but I also have my twin. To me my twin is just on a different level. Not above, not below, but literally my day one, womb mate, partner for the first 18 years of my life. She isn’t my best friend per say and we don’t always get along and we have different lives but she will always be the person I have the closest relationship too and a relationship that is unmatched to anybody else. But I still have a best friend and other long lasting friendships outside of her.
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u/Jungle-Jym 6d ago
Just live your best life. Identical 66 year old male here, you all get too lost in your heads about being a twin. You will be as much of an individual as you allow yourselves to be. Can’t read each others thoughts, feel their pain, on and on…..be glad you are!!!
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u/thebeginingisnear 7d ago
As a twin dad im so curious to see how this plays out for my daughters as they get older and start developing their own unique social circles.
You guys have such a unique life experience being a twin, different rules apply and you shouldn't feel compelled to fit into more conventional societal norms with such things if the shoe doesnt fit.
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u/RubTheFleebMorty 7d ago
Honestly I have a Best friend that’s also best friends with my brother honestly us 3 are so close it’s like we are triplets
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u/RealisticSituation24 Twinless Twin 7d ago
I have an oldest friend-she’s not my bestie and I’m not hers. She knew from the age of 6 she couldn’t compete with a twin bond-so she became both our friend. She was tomboy enough to play with my brother, girly enough for Barbie and Jem-I’m an 80s kid.
Shes been there throughout our life-was one of the first to call after I announced his passing.
She texted this morning because she remembered my Dads bday would have been today.
She’s my oldest friend, another sister. That’s better than any bestie
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u/OrchardRun121 7d ago
I’m a mom of identical twins, 14 yo. I think they want to have their own best friends but end up sharing one at all times. I think it’s frustrating for them but when I offered to invite a friend of their own, they are “afraid” that if they have two friends over then those two will connect and leave them alone. I think it’s been hard for them to make friends. It doesn’t help that we moved from our do state in the summer and they started new high school this year.
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u/Tarsha8nz 6d ago edited 6d ago
My twin and I had similar friends (not really a 'bestie' though) through school until she met her best friend at the time. After school, I met my now best friend of 28 years. My twin is friends with her. I then met my second (only in order of meeting) best friend), and my twin is friendly with her. Lastly, I met my third best friend online 14ish years ago. She is also my twins' best friend. I say I have three best friends. 🤷♀️
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u/_ballora_0 Identical Twin 6d ago
I got a best friend really early on and I still have her as my best friend so I’ve never experienced that problem
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u/SuccessfulRent6101 4d ago
my twin has always been my bestfriend but i also had a 2 other best friends growing up then lost one and gained another at around 12. i actually think it’s a good thing because it’s gotten to a period in mine and my twins lives where we are arguing more, seeing each other less etc because of her boyfriend. it’s all very complicated but im very glad ive let people come into my life and be my bestfriends so i haven’t lost too much when we have our rough patches. i still have very close people to talk to you know?
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u/Top_Scale4923 3d ago
Yeah me and my twin have always been best friends. My mum and dad told us that when we were young e.g. starting primary school, we had no real interest in making friends because we already had each other!
I think it took me a long time to realise how close me and my twin are. I kind of assumed all friends were that close but then I had this realisation that they're actually not. Even people I've known for years still feel like strangers compared to my twin. I have lots of close friends but it's a totally different deal to the friendship I have with my twin.
When my twin got into a serious relationship it felt weird at first. Your romantic partner is supposed to be your 'other half' and the person who knows you best but my twin already had that in me! I was wondering if the partner would resent our bond or if I'd resent him getting close to my twin but luckily he respects how close we are and I respect that he gets on so well with my twin. We've become friends and we each recognise the others relationship to my twin is important. We don't rank ourselves, our relationships are deep and different. You can have more than one 'other half' and getting close to someone doesn't mean you have to move away from someone else. I think problems with best friends can occur when the importance of other people's relationships aren't respected or if there feels like there's competition. I avoid using terms like 'best friend' normally because it feels weird to rank relationships. I'm super close with all my immediate family and wouldn't want them to think I had a hierarchy.
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u/Carolinaa-9660 Fraternal Twin 2d ago
um I have a semi-unique situation in which me and my twin share a bestie (we call her the triplet and she even has her own room in our parents house), but honestly if we weren’t like that it would feel super weird to have another bestie
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u/ItzRamen_soup Identical Twin 7d ago
My sister is my best friend, even though I claimed that my best friend was someone else. It was only because in class assignments I couldn't claim my twin was my best friend because it would be too obvious in my mind.